Iqiniso elilodwa cishe elingenakugwenywa lokuba sothandweni ukuthi ukungabaza kuzophakamisa amakhanda ayo amabi ngesinye isikhathi.
Akunandaba ukuthi uzama kangakanani ukukuziba, lelo zwi eliphikisayo lizoba sekhanda lakho, lihlebe ukungezwani lapho konke okufunayo kungukuvumelana okujabulisayo.
Ngisho nokunikeza indawo ongangabazi kuyo ukungabaza kwakho ngenkathi ukhukhuleka uyolala, eshaweni, noma ushayela uye emsebenzini uzizwa njengokukhaphela kothandekayo wakho.
Futhi nokho, cabanga ngabo kufanele. Uma ungakwenzi, bazokuqeda kancane kancane kanye nenjabulo yakho oyithole kanzima.
Mhlawumbe unokukhathazeka okungahambi kahle kokuthi umlingani wakho akabuyisi uthando lwakho ngokulinganayo.
Mhlawumbe uyazibuza ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho buqine ngokwanele yini ekuzibophezeleni kwesikhathi eside.
Kuyoze kube nini ibhola ledrako super liba
Mhlawumbe une-inkling yokuthi umlingani wakho akathembekile njengoba ubucabanga.
Uma kukhulunywa ngokungabaza kobudlelwano, iqhinga ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokungabaza okulula okuvela emibonweni engeyona nokungaqondani, nokukhathazeka kwangempela okufanele kukukhombe lapho kuphuma khona.
Imibuzo, Imibuzo…
Njengoba wehla usuka phezulu enkanukweni futhi ubona ukuthi uyathandana, imibuzo ngokuvamile iqala ukungenelela.
Ingabe zinhle kakhulu ukuthi zingaba yiqiniso? Ngingenza kangcono? Kungani bengavelele? Ngabe bazoba ubaba / umama omuhle? Ngabe ngiyafuna ngempela lokhu kuzibophezela njengamanje? Nokunye njalo… nokuqhubeka… nokuqhubeka…
Lokhu kungabaza okusolisayo kungasabisa lapho kuqala ukuvela, ikakhulukazi lapho ucabanga ukuthi izinto bezihamba kahle kakhulu.
Kungani ukuzihlola kwengqondo kuqala manje?
Hhayi-ke, ngoba manje yisikhathi sokuzikhumbuza ukuthi nihlukene kakhulu, hlukanani isikhathi sabantu sokuhlola ukuthi ngabe ningozakwethu abaphelele kuze kube phakade.
Ukuphela kwendlela yokuthola lokho ngophenyo olunzulu. Ngakho-ke i-psyche yakho ikwenzela umusa ngempela, ikusize kumugqa wokuguquguqukayo ubheke (ngethemba) esiphethweni esifanele.
Izindaba Ezinhle Ngokungabaza
Kuyaphazamisa yize le micabango nemizwa ikhona, futhi kuyizinkomba zokuthi ubudlelwano bakho budlulela kwelinye izinga, lapho ungahlola ngobuqotho umehluko wakho (kanye nokusebenzisana kwakho).
Ukusebenza ngalokhu kungabaza kuyingxenye yenqubo yokujulisa nokuqinisa ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho omusha.
Ngakho-ke zama ukubeka okuhle ekungabazeni kwakho. Thola induduzo kwisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esikhona, uRollo May, ophakamisa ukuthi:
Ubudlelwano phakathi kokuzibophezela nokungabaza abuphikisi neze. Ukuzibophezela kunempilo kakhulu uma kungenakungatshazwa kodwa naphezu kokungabaza.
Ukukhuluma ngokwengqondo, ukungabaza lowo esimthandayo kuyindlela yethu engokwemvelo yokuphatha ukushintsha kwesimo lapho umuntu eba ezimbili. Izwi eliphikisayo elingaphakathi empeleni likhona ukusiza, hhayi ukuvimba.
Izizathu ezi-5 zokuthi kungani kuvela ukungabaza kobudlelwano
Njengoba kungaba yihlazo ukudela injabulo yethu enkulu nomuntu esingaba umlingani naye wokuphila e-altare lokungabaza, ake sibheke izizathu zokuthi kungani kuphakama leyo mibuzo ephikelelayo.
1.Umelana noshintsho.
Sonke sijwayelene nenqwaba yemibuzo yangaphakathi elethwe izinguquko ezinkulu - ithemba lomsebenzi omusha noma ukuthuthela endaweni entsha, isibonelo.
Ngokufanayo, lapho ubudlelwano buthola injabulo yokwazana nawe futhi izigaba zokuwela-othandweni kungenzeka ukuthi behamba ndawonye noma ngisho nokushada, akumangazi ukuthi kufanele kuqale umsindo wokungaqiniseki.
Kuyafaneleka ukukhumbula ukuthi i-psyche yomuntu iye yavela kancane kusuka kokhokho bethu abahlala emhumeni. Kubo, noma yiluphi ushintsho lubonisa ingozi engaba khona, ngakho-ke akumangalisi ukuthi sisabesaba imiphumela yoshintsho.
2. Usabela ekucindezelekeni.
Enye imbangela yezingqondo ejulile yokungabaza impendulo ekucindezelekeni.
Ukungabaza kuvame ukuvela lapho kubhekene nezinselelo ezintsha futhi, masibhekane nakho, kunezinselelo ezimbalwa ezinkulu empilweni ukwedlula ezothando eziguqukayo nezijule kakhulu.
Izwi lethu elingaphakathi lizoveza imibuzo eyikhulu: 'Ngabe nguye Lowo?' 'Ngabe sichofoza u-100% embhedeni ngempela?' 'Ngabe kumele ngibabekezelele abangane bakhe abacasulayo?' Ngakho-ke ukuphenywa kuyaqhubeka.
3. Uphendula ukwesaba kwakho.
Ukwesaba ukuzibophezela kungabhebhethekisa amalangabi okungabaza ebudlelwaneni. Kulokhu, akukona ukukhathazeka ngamanani aphethwe umlingani wakho noma yini abayenzile kumayelana nesimo sakho sengqondo ngokuzibophezela okukhula usuku nosuku.
Ukungabaza ngokulungela kwakho ukubambisana impilo yakho yonke akunakushaywa indiva. Ukukhuluma nabo nomlingani wakho kungenza ubuqili - ungathola nokuthi babelana ngokwesaba kwakho, okuholela engxoxweni eqotho ngekusasa lakho ndawonye.
Uma ubona sengathi inkinga ingecala elilodwa, izincwadi zokuzisiza noma zingakusiza uqonde futhi usebenze ukukhathazeka kwakho.
4. Uzilimaza wena.
Okungajwayelekile njengokungahle kubonakale, ukwesaba ukuzibophezela okuchazwe ngenhla kungavumela i-subconscious yakho ukuthi ikhiqize bese igxila kokungabaza okungenzeka noma kungenasisekelo sangempela.
Umphumela wokugcina walokhu kungaba ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwakho nomuntu omthandayo. Ubudlelwano buphelile, akukho ukuzibophezela okudingekayo - umphumela!
Ngaphandle kokuthi, kunjalo, ukuthi ukuzibophezela-ama-phobes kungenzeka ukuthi akuzona izinto ezigcwaliseke kakhulu futhi ezinelisekile. Ingabe yileyondlela ngempela obona ngayo ikusasa lakho?
Uma lokhu kungabaza okuzilimazayo kungabonakala ngalokho okuyikho, ungasebenza ngezizathu eziyisisekelo njengobambiswano. Ukwethembeka nokuvuleleka kuzosebenza ekujuliseni nasekuqiniseni ubudlelwano bakho bokugcina kuphela.
5. Uphendula kokuhlangenwe nakho okwedlule.
Akunakwenzeka ukuthi kwenzeke kithi lapho kuphakama ukungabaza mayelana nobudlelwano bethu bamanje ukuthi empeleni benziwe yizimo ezingemnandi zangaphambilini.
Singaqagela ngokuya ngokuziphatha okulimazayo kowayengumlingani wethu, okungenzeka ukuthi wakopela noma wehluleka noma wangazimisele ukuzibophezela, okuholela ekungaqiniseki lapha namanje.
Kungokwemvelo ukungabaza ngokujula kwemizwa kazakwenu lapho ikhono lakho lokuthembela likhubazekile futhi usenezibazi.
Kodwa ungavumeli ukuthi lobu buhlungu obudlule bube yisikhubekiso phakathi kwakho nenjabulo yakho yokugcina.
Vumela umlingani wakho onothando akusekele njengoba uthola ukuthi inhliziyo yakho ethambile iphephile ezandleni zabo. Nakulokhu futhi, kungasiza ukukubuyisela emuva kuthrekhi.
Ukungabaza Kobudlelwano Okufanele Kuphakamise Ifulegi Elibomvu
Njengoba sesitholile ukuthi ukukhathazeka kobudlelwano kuyingxenye yemvelo yenyunyana ekhulayo, ake sibheke izingqinamba ezithile ezibucayi okungenzeka ukuthi zingasuswa njengoba wena nothandekayo wakho nihamba ngendlela enenjabulo ebheke enjabulweni yaphakade.
Uma ukukhathazeka kwakho kuqala ngokungabaza futhi kujule kokunye okukhathaza kakhulu, khona-ke ukubhala kusodongeni: mhlawumbe lo akuyena umlingani wamaphupho akho.
Ngabe ukungabaza kwakho kubangelwa ukukhathazeka ngokuziphatha komlingani wakho kuwe noma isimo sabo sengqondo, mhlawumbe? Noma kunomehluko oyisisekelo ongahlali kahle kuwe?
Nazi ezinye zezinkinga ezijulile ezingabonakala zikhona phatha ama-breakers ebudlelwaneni bakho ...
1. Unamanani ayisisekelo ahlukile.
Kuyizinkolelo zethu eziyinhloko ezichaza indlela esixoxisana ngayo nendlela yethu yokuphila. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi lezi zimiso ezigcinwe ngokujulile ziyahambisana kunoma yikuphi ukubambisana kwezothando okuhlala njalo.
Uma omunye umlingani ebeka inani eliphakeme ezintweni ezibonakalayo, ngokwesibonelo, ngenkathi omunye anelisekile ngendlela elula yokuphila, kunokunqamuka okucacile.
Ukudlulela ngale kokuvinjelwa komgwaqo okungenzeka kube khona, udinga ukuhlola ukubaluleka kwawo bese unquma ukuthi unganeliseka yini ngokungahambisani okunjalo nokuthi kungabuthinta kanjani obunye ubudlelwano bakho obubalulekile.
Umphumela walokhu kuhlola uzokutshela uma ngabe umehluko ongalawuleka noma isithiyo esingenakunqotshwa ebudlelwaneni bakho.
2. Ungabaza ubuqotho babo.
Uma uzithola ungabaza ukwethembeka komlingani wakho uma usuvumelene ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bukhethekile, kusho ukuthi kunengqondo hamba nethuku lakho lesisu .
Ukuvala iso kungenzeka kugcine ngokuthi ulimale. Bheka kahle ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngale ndlela nokuthi yini ekukhulisile ukusola kwakho. Ingabe sikhona ngempela isizathu sokukhathazeka?
Uma usenomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, umngane othembekile noma isihlobo singakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nezinkinga zakho.
Ekugcineni, noma kunjalo, uzodinga ukubhekana nezinkathazo zakho nomlingani wakho.
Ukuthatha indlela eqondile kodwa engamangaleli kungcono. Inkomba enhle yokuthi izinsolo zakho ziqondile kungaba impendulo ethukuthele noma umzamo wokubuyisela ukusolwa kuwe ukuzama ukukuphazamisa eqinisweni.
Njengoba ukwethembana kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, noma ikuphi ukungabaza ngobuqotho akufanele kunganakwa.
3. Uyangabaza ukwethembeka kwakho.
Sonke singabantu ababuthakathaka nabangenamaphutha, ngakho-ke ukuba nenganekwane engajwayelekile ngomlingani ohlukile, ikakhulukazi ongafinyeleleki njengesithonjana sosaziwayo, kuvunyelwe ngokuphelele futhi kujwayelekile.
Kungaba yisizathu sokukhathazeka, noma kunjalo, uma ungeke uvimbe imicabango yakho iphendukele ekusondelaneni nomunye umuntu lapho kufanele ugxile kumlingani wakho.
Uma kunjalo, isikhathi kungenzeka singakulungeli ukuthi ube kubudlelwano obukhethekile, obunomfazi oyedwa, noma okungenani ungabi nalo muntu onaye njengamanje.
Thatha isikhathi uhlaziye imizwa yakho yangempela uma uzizwa ngale ndlela. Ukuphumela obala ngalesi sihloko esingahle sehle nomlingani wakho kungahle kungabi lula.
Mhlawumbe ukukhuluma ngezinto ezikukhathazayo ngomuntu osondelene naye kakhulu noma umelaphi kuzokusiza ukuthi wamukele imbangela yokungathembeki kwengqondo yakho futhi kukuvumele ushiye imicabango yakho elimazayo ngemuva.
4. Uzizwa unciphile.
Ukwenza uzizwe umncane, ungafaneleki, noma ungelutho akulungile. Uzakwethu ohlale eshiya ukuzethemba kwakho ngamazwana amabi akhombisa ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bunobuthi ngaphezu kwethenda.
Lokhu kumbiwa kungaba okucashile kepha okuphikelelayo, futhi kuvame ukulethwa ngokumamatheka kokuzitika, okuvikela okulimaza umphumela wazo olimazayo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kancane kancane, ukuzethemba kwakho kuyancipha.
Kukhona ithuba lokuthi umlingani wakho angawuboni umthelela walokhu kuziphatha, ngakho-ke kufanele ukuthi ubabize ngakho futhi ukhombe indlela okwenza uzizwe ngayo.
Kepha uma lokhu kuwela ezindlebeni ezingezwa, kufanele ucabangele ukufuna usizo kothile othembekile noma kumeluleki ngoba lokho kuziphatha kufana nokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo.
Ekugcineni, indlela engcono yokuzivikela ekulimaleni okungaphezulu kungaba ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni.
5. Uzizwa ululazekile.
Uma umlingani wakho enomkhuba wokungafaneleki kwezenhlalo kaningi kunalokho, kuze kube seqophelweni lokuthi ugcwala ngamahloni, lapho-ke udinga ukubhekana nalokhu.
Kungenzeka ukuthi izinto ezingafanele abazishoyo noma abazenzayo azinambitheki kangangoba abangane bakho baqala ukugwema ukuxhumana nani nobabili.
Kepha omunye wakho obalulekile kungenzeka angawuboni umphumela wamazwi noma ezenzo zabo ezahlulelwe kabi, ngakho-ke ukukhomba lokhu kuzobanika ithuba lokulungisa izindlela zabo.
Uma ukuqubuka kuseseyinto ejwayelekile, kepha, lokhu kungaba yinkomba yokuthi lo muntu akakulungeli kahle.
6. Izinhloso zakho zesikhathi esizayo azihambelani.
Njengoba ubheke kubambiswano lwempilo yonke, kubalulekile ukuthi izinhloso ozihlelele ikusasa lakho zifane kahle nalezo zomlingani wakho.
Uma unokungabaza ukuthi izinhloso zakho zokugcina zihambisana, lokhu akuyona into okufanele ungayinakwa.
Ungamabhulashi nje ngaphansi kombhoxo, ubeke izaba, noma ukuyekethisa ukugcina nje ubuhlobo bakho busendleleni.
Ekugcineni, ukuxhumana okuhle kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obanelisayo, ngakho-ke khuluma ukukhathazeka kwakho bese uthola ukuthi izinhloso zakho zesikhathi esizayo ziqhelelene kangakanani.
Uma ukungahambi kahle kukhulu kakhulu, ukuqeda ubudlelwano kungcono ukusebenzisa impilo yakho yonke usesimweni sokuyekethisa futhi udumazeke ekugcineni.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi wenzeni ngokungabaza okusengqondweni yakho? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
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