Kuyalingana kepha akunakwenzeka ukupenda wonke amalungu wobulili ngebhulashi elilodwa kuze kufike ekuziphatheni kwabo ebudlelwaneni.
Wonke umuntu ukuhlangana okuyindida kwemvelo nokunakekelwa, isipiliyoni sempilo, ukuthambekela komuntu siqu, ubumnene, isifiso, ukwenyanya, nokunye okuningi.
Kodwa-ke, kunokuziphatha okuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nabesilisa ekuziphatheni kobudlelwano abanye babo abalingani abangakuthola kudida.
Sethemba ukuthi izivivinyo ezilandelayo zingasiza ekunqumeni okuncane kwalokhu ukuze kwenziwe lokhu kubambisana kusebenze ngokushelela kakhudlwana.
1. Amanye amadoda ahlukanisa imizwa yawo bese azicwilisa ukuze aziphazamise.
Lokhu kuvame ukusetshenziselwa ukukhohlwa / ukungazinaki lezo zinto abanye abazibiza ngokuthi ughhh… feel..ings.
Lapho bebhekene nezimo ezinzima ngokomzwelo, amadoda amaningi aziphonsa emsebenzini nasemsebenzini.
Ngokwenza njalo, benza izihlangu zokufihla imizwa yabo kubo bobabili abalingani babo nasemhlabeni jikelele.
Futhi bayazivikela ekuphonsweni kwezinkinga ezingeziwe ohlangothini lwabo ngenkathi bacubungula konke abakucabangayo nabakuzwayo.
Uma ufuna ithempulethi eqinile kusukela esikhathini esedlule ukuze uhlobanise nalokhu, indaba enhle yileyo ye-knight Tristen evela kwinganekwane yothando yama-Arthurian…
Njengoba wayehlala edabukile phakathi kothando lwakhe lwekhaya kwelinye izwe, futhi kufanele alahle uthando lwakhe (u-Isolde) ku-King Mark omncane, uTristen waba nesibindi sokushintsha.
Emini, wayeyi-knight ephelele: wayeqinile, enamakhono futhi enesibindi empini nasenkantolo. Nokho, ebusuku wakhathazeka ngokweqile ngomqondo wokubalekela umsebenzi wakhe ngokufa.
La mandla emizwa yethectonic ayemdabula ngokoqobo.
Akakwazanga ukuvumelanisa igebe phakathi kwemizwa yakhe nomsebenzi wakhe. Ngakho-ke wahlukanisa futhi wayishaya indiva imizwa yakhe, eyamholela ezimpini zobudedengu eziqhubekayo nezitha eziyingozi. Okubi kakhulu wukuthi umhlaba umshayele ihlombe ngakho.
Bacabanga ukuthi isifiso sakhe sokufa seqhwa ngezenzo zobungcweti nobuqhawe. U-Isolde kuphela owayenombono wokuthi yini ebilayo ngaphansi.
Amanye amadoda awele ngokukhululekile nakubakaki. Bafundiswe kusukela ebuntwaneni ukungazivezi ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, bafunda kusenesikhathi ukuthi badinga ukuhlukaniswa.
Njengalokhu, bagcina okuningi kwabo kukhiyiwe kude futhi ngokuqinile ngaphansi kwemigoqo. Ngisho ngokwabo.
Ukuqonda abesilisa ebudlelwaneni kubhekela ekubukeni nasekuhlaziyeni indlela abaziphethe ngayo - befuna izinkulumo ezingashiwongo zendlela abazizwa ngayo nokuthi bacabangani.
Amaphuzu alandelayo angezansi kufanele akhanyise ngokwengeziwe ngalokhu.
2. Amadoda amaningi akhetha ukugxila kokubambekayo.
Amadoda amaningi anokuhlangenwe nakho okuncane ekuzihlaziyeni nasekuzivezeni.
Wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani ukuphawula okulula kungaletha ukuqhuma okubonakala kungokwengane, noma ubuso bokuduma kwezulu ngaphambi kokuba baphume bayolwa nomsebenzi oseduze?
Azikaze zithuthukise, noma zinikezwe, amathuluzi okubhekana nazo noma ukukhipha okwenzekayo ngaphakathi.
Bacubungula amandla emizwelo ngokusebenza, ukunqoba, ukulungisa, nokwakha - ukuhambisa lokho abangaqondi ngempela kukho okubambekayo.
Imizwelo iyaxaka, i-opaque, futhi iyaguquguquka: imithetho ishintsha njalo. Kepha injini yemoto edinga ukulungiswa noma inqwaba yamapulangwe edinga ukusikwa iyawenza umqondo. Induku idinga ukushintsha, i-ax haft idinga ukuyishintsha: konke lokhu kuqondile.
inini isizini yaseMelika 3
Amadoda ngokujwayelekile abambelela kokungaguquguquki, okunengqondo, kanye nobuciko. Konke lokhu kungathenjelwa kukho ukuze uhlale ubonakala futhi ududuze. Iteyipu yokulinganisa ihlale ithembekile. Iwashi elinakekelwa kahle lihlale linikeza isikhathi esifanele.
Qondisisa lokhu ngamadoda: bakhuliselwe ukufuna imihlaba yokuhleleka, ukucabanga, ukusebenza kahle, ukulawula, nokunemba.
3. Amadoda amaningi anokuzonda ukubhekana (ngaphakathi kobudlelwano, okungenani).
Kwabesilisa abaningi, ukuzwa imishwana enjengokuthi “awukaze ukhulume ngemizwa yakho,” noma “sidinga ukukhuluma ngobudlelwano bethu,” noma ngisho “Ngidinga ukuthi ungitshele ukuthi ucabangani noma uzizwa kanjani” kwanele ukuwaxosha abuyele egalaji.
Vele, lokhu kungukuhlanganisa futhi kukhona amadoda athile athanda ngempela ukukhuluma ngalezi zinto, kepha noma kunjalo, kuvamise ukuba ngokwemigomo yabo.
Ngokuvamile, ukuphazanyiswa ngoba umlingani wabo ngokuzumayo ufuna ukukhuluma ngemizwa kwanele ukuvala amadoda amaningi phansi.
Uma ufuna ukuphela okumangazayo, okubhubhisayo, nokuqhumayo kobudlelwano nendoda, bhekana nabo ngqo nangokuphindelela ngakho.
Ukufuna ngonya ukushintsha abantu uma ucabanga ukuthi bakhuliswe ngokungalungile (njengokuya ngesimo samanje) kumosheke njengokukhulisa kabi ingane.
Abantu bayilokhu abayikho, futhi amadoda awabathandi abalingani abafuna ukushintsha lokho abayikho njengoba abesifazane bengafuni abalingani abafuna ukushintsha indlela ababukeka ngayo.
Ihlaya eligijimayo noma inkolelo engamanga ukuthi abesifazane abazi ukuthi bafunani. Kungashiwo okufanayo nangamadoda angenayo imizwa. Vele siyakwenza: asikaze sithole ukuthi sizowasusa kanjani. Nokho.
Uma uzizwa sengathi awunabo ubuhlobo obuseduze nomfana wakho njengoba ungathanda, cabanga ukusebenzisana nokubopha ngokuhlanganyela emisebenzini enamandla kunaleyo emile.
Ukuhlala ezitolo zekhofi nixoxa ngemizwa mhlawumbe ngeke kubeke umlingani wakho wesilisa ngokukhululeka.
Esikhundleni salokho, ukukhahlela uzungeze ipaki, ukusebenzisana ndawonye, noma ukwenza iphrojekthi emthakaselayo kungaphumelela kakhulu kwabanye ukuqala ukuvula.
Iningi labesilisa liyathanda ukukhombisa amakhono nekhono lalo, kuyindlela yokuqomisana nokuveza okukuthandayo, ngaleyo ndlela ikunikeze ithuba lokubopha.
Abanye, ikakhulukazi onjiniyela nezinhlobo ezinesayensi kakhulu, bazohlangana ngqo ngomsebenzi. Futhi noma kunjalo, abanye basengakuthola kunzima ukubona ukuthi ukubopha kuyenzeka.
Bambalwa kithi abazobhodla ngokuthokoza njengohlamvu lweWill Ferrell ngoba i-OMG! sinesikhathi esimnandi kakhulu futhi sibopha kakhulu.
Ngokuvamile, uzokwazi ukuthi umfana wakho uzizwa ekhululekile uma unawe lapho evula okuthile ngemibono yakhe.
Isibonelo esisodwa esihle sokuthi lokhu kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi nini futhi uma abafana bekhuluma ngalokho abakucabangayo noma abakuzwayo phakathi nohambo lwekhempu.
Ngaphandle kokuthi umlingani wakho abe ngumhlali wasedolobheni okhonze ukulahlekelwa uma ethola ichashaza lodaka ezicathulweni zakhe, ukukhempa kaningi kuyindlela enhle yokubopha nokuqonda owesilisa kangcono.
Thina bantu besilisa imvamisa siphendula kahle ngaphandle, futhi ukuba semzimbeni ngaphandle kungasisiza ukuthi sehlise izindonga zethu. Siyayiqonda imvelo, siyayihlonipha, futhi kunokuthile okubaluleke kakhulu ngokuqoqa izinkuni, ukupheka ilangabi, ukugqolozela izinkanyezi, nokuziqinisa uma kungenzeka sidinge ukulwa namabhere noma izimpisi.
Kuthule ukuthula. Amanye amadoda ajabulela ukuthula, futhi anelisekile ukuba namahora ambalwa awo ngasikhathi. Ukuhlala ngokuthula okunobungane kuvame ukuholela ekuqondeni okujulile kwamagama akukwazi ukuveza, uma uzimisele ukunaka abangakhulumi, kunokuxoxa okungapheli.
4. Amadoda amaningi ayasindwa yilokho okulindeleke ukuthi kwenziwe.
Abaningi bethu bafundiswa ukuthi okuyisisekelo senjongo yendoda ukwenza nokuhlinzeka. Imizwa nokuvezwa kwayo kwakungekho ngisho ku-syllabus.
Lokhu kulindela ukwenza kwenzeka egumbini lokulala kanye nasemsebenzini.
Ukuthi indoda inzima, akusho ukuthi ijabule. Imvamisa umcabango osegumbini lokulala uthi uma ngabe indoda ifuna ucansi , khona-ke uyeneliseka ebudlelwaneni ngokuphelele. Noma lokho kusondelana kuzodambisa isimo esinenkinga.
Iningi labesilisa alikho okuyisisekelo, futhi ukusondelana ngokocansi okusetshenziswe ngale ndlela kuyimali ekulimaleni kwesikhathi esizayo. Sonke siyathanda ukufeza amaphupho, sijulise ubudlelwano, sidlale futhi siveze okungaphakathi kwethu. Lokhu kuqeda inqwaba yemisebenzi eminingi kakhulu ukuthi ingachazwa lapha.
Ukucabanga ukuthi ubulukhuni = injabulo kuyizikhali kubo bobabili abathintekayo. Ngasohlangothini lwabesilisa, kufanele senze. Ukuba sengozini nokucela okuthile okwehlukile noma (izulu linqabe!) Ukwenqaba ukuthuthuka kozakwethu kusho ukuthi asikwazi ukwenza umsebenzi wethu wobudoda. Noma ukuthi asinawo amandla noma asisenandaba nomlingani wethu.
Empeleni, kungenzeka ukuthi senza lo msebenzi nje, sizama ukuzijabulisa futhi asihlaziyi ngokujulile ukuthi kungani singajabule. Ukwehluleka okubonakalayo ngathi kungenzeka kungabi ngawe nhlobo.
Kwesinye isikhathi asijabuli noma sibuhlungu, kepha sisenomuzwa wokuthi kufanele senze. Njengoba abesifazane ngokungangabazeki benza kwezinye izimo. Ukucabanga ukuthi sihlala singama-stoic futhi sinamatshe esikhundleni semizwa yilokho kanye: ukucabanga.
Amandla anamuhla ezocansi ngalomqondo angabamba ama-22 kuwo wonke umuntu. Uma sinikezwa ucansi njengethuluzi lokubeka izinto phansi, asikwazi ukwenqaba. Uma senza kanjalo, sithathwa njengokwenqaba umlingani wethu noma ukuba nedrayivu yocansi ephansi . Ngakho-ke okunye ukuthatha ithambo nayo yonke into ihlala ingaxazululiwe ... namabhamuza entukuthelo akhula njalo ngaphansi komhlaba.
Khumbula ukuthi amadoda amaningi abheka ucansi njenge-cathartic. Ngemuva kwakho konke, imizimba yethu inemikhuba enamandla, ecishe ibe yinto engapheli yokuzala. Abesifazane bangacasulwa lapho futhi uma amadoda ebagcona ngokuzizwa njengomama, noma ngokukhalisa ezinganeni noma ezilwaneni ezincane ezinoboya. Sisebenza kanzima ngokuhlukile, futhi akufanele sibekelwe phansi ukuthambekela kwethu kwemvelo nakho.
5. Wonke amadoda athanda ukuveza imibono yawo ngokwawo, ngesikhathi sawo.
Ngaphandle kwezinkomba noma izitatimende ezicacile, kulula ukucabanga ukuthi umuntu uyindlela eyodwa kanti empeleni uphikisana ngokuphelele.
Abantu abaningi baveza ukucabanga kwabanye ngokuya ngezinto abazizwa bona uqobo, noma izinto abahlelelwe zona ngezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zemidiya.
Isibonelo sakudala ukuthi meme lapho owesilisa nowesifazane belele embhedeni ebusuku. Ukhathazekile ngokuthi angahle ukuthi ucabangani, futhi unazo zonke izinhlobo zezimo ezimbi kakhulu emqondweni wakhe, kusuka kuye ekubeni ehileleke komunye umuntu wesifazane aze afune ukwehlukana naye. Okwamanje, uzama ukunquma izinzuzo nezingozi zegajethi elandelayo ukuze ayithole.
Ungahle uphatheke kabi ngoba insizwa yakho ayithumeli izithombe eziningi zakho ku-intanethi, kuyilapho i-Instagram yakho ifulelwe ngemifanekiso yenu nobabili.
Lokhu kungenzeka ngoba iningi lamadoda alithumeli izithombe eziningi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana - okungenani, hhayi eziningi njengowesifazane ojwayelekile.
Akusho akekho kuwe , futhi nokuthi akazimisele ngobudlelwano bakho: akasiqondi nje isidingo sokusakaza imininingwane yokuqedela abantu ongabazi.
Thembela ukuthi ukhombisa abantu ukuthi unendaba nezithombe zenu (nobabili nobabili), kodwa ngasese, ngokwemibandela yakhe, nangesikhathi sakhe.
Ngokwengeziwe, khumbula ukuthi abakuzwayo kungaba yimfihlakalo kubo. Uma ubakhathalela ngempela nobudlelwano, bese ubanika isikhathi.
Lapho othile ebuzwa ukuthi athuthukise lapho ekhuluma ngemizwa yakhe, badinga ukubekezela ukuze bafunde ukuthi bangakwenza kanjani lokho ngqo, akunjalo?
Zibuze ukuthi kungani kubaluleke kangaka ukwazi ukuthi ucabangani noma uzizwa kanjani ngaso sonke isikhathi? Ngabe lokhu kuvela endaweni yokunakekelwa nokucatshangelwa kwangempela? Noma uzizwa ungavikelekile nawe udinga / ufuna ukuqinisekiswa njalo ukuthi konke kulungile?
Umuntu ongcono kakhulu ongazitholela yena, kungenjalo uzoshaya isikhubekiso esifanayo semizwa kaninginingi.
Sonke siyadingana ukuze sikhule futhi sikhule, kepha impilo yesimanje yenza izimo zokuxhumana nabantu zibe yimidlalo yokuqagela engeyinhle. Akekho noyedwa onesibindi osho ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngempela noma ukuthi yini abayifunayo ngempela njengoba ukwenza kanjalo kuthuthukisa imizwa yokuba sengozini.
Ngomuntu ofanele, noma kunjalo, ukucaca, nokuthembeka kungamagama kanye nembewu ebudlelwaneni obuhle, kungakhathalekile umphumela.
Ungazidli. Yisho njengoba injalo nokuthi uzizwa kanjani. Musa ukuchitha isikhathi. Uzothola indoda 'efanele' ngokushesha.
Okokugcina, khumbula ukuthi ayikho imingcele uma kukhulunywa ngamadoda nobudlelwano. Ukuziphatha okuningi okukhulunywe ngakho lapha kungakhonjiswa futhi ngabesifazane abanengqondo enengqondo noma eyabesilisa.
Futhi amanye amadoda anemizwa ngokwengeziwe ngokwemvelo, izinto eziningi kakhulu ezishiwo lapha ngeke zisebenze nakubo. Njengenjwayelo, okuhlukile imvamisa kungumthetho nabantu ngabanye.
Uma ungabaza, buza. Buza umlingani wakho ukuthi ukhuluma kanjani kahle kakhulu, noma ngabe ufuna ukukhuluma ngendlela azizwa ngayo.
Uma eyiqanda elihle, khona-ke mbekezelele. Kunokuba nethemba kumuntu wakho ngokuya ngezidingo zakho kanye nezidingo zakho, sebenza naye ukuthola ukuthi nobabili ningaxhumana kanjani ngobunye.
Isisho esithi 'awusoze wangiqonda ngoba uyindoda' siyize futhi asinalutho njengoba sithi 'awusoze wangiqonda ngoba ungowesifazane.'
Ngesilinganiso esifanele sokubekezela, ukuxhumana, nokuphonsa amapuleti, abantu bangaqondana kahle.
indlela yokuhlukana ngemuva kobudlelwano obude
Usenemibuzo ngomuntu wakho nokuthi ucabanga kanjani noma enza kanjani? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
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