Lapho sinakekela omunye umuntu, kungokwemvelo ukukhombisa isimilo esithile futhi sizwe imizwa ethile. Kukhona, nokho, kufika iphuzu lapho indlela esenza ngayo nesicabanga ngayo iba nempilo engatheni kangako. Enye indlela lokhu okungabonakalisa ngayo kungukuthembela ekuvumelaneni.
Ngeshwa, kunenkinga enokuqondwa okuvamile kwalo mqondo futhi sekuholele ekutheni abantu bachazwe noma batholwe njengabantu abathembele kubantu abangasekho ngaphandle kwabantu abakhathalelayo.
Lokho le ndatshana ezozama ukukwenza, ngakho-ke, kugqamisa umehluko phakathi komuntu 'ongumnakekeli' (igama esizolisebenzisa kulo lonke ukuchaza umuntu onakekelayo ngomqondo wendabuko) kanye nomuntu ongabizwa ngokusemthethweni njengongenele .
Induku Yokusiza Abanye
Lapho umuntu edliwa wukuxhomekeka, bazichaza ngosizo abalunikeza elinye iqembu ebudlelwaneni. Ukunakekelwa abakunikezayo yilokho okunikeza impilo yabo injongo nencazelo okuyisusayo futhi balwela ukusebenza ngokuzimela.
Ngomqondo othile, bathembele komunye umuntu neqhaza labo njengomnakekeli kwakha i-crutch lapho impilo yabo isekelwe khona.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umnakekeli wenza ukukhetha ngokuqaphela lapho esiza othile. Abadingi ukusiza abanye, kodwa benza kanjalo ngoba bakubona kuyinto efanele ukwenziwa. Abantu abanjalo bangachazwa njengabakhathalelayo, kepha abavumeli lokhu ukuthi kube yi-raison d’être yabo (isizathu sokuba njalo).
Isidingo Sokuzizwa Sidingeka
Abantu abathembela kumakhodi bagxila kakhulu ekusizeni omunye umuntu ngoba banesifiso esingapheli sokuzizwa bedingeka. Bavame ukwenza iphutha lokuncika komunye umuntu kubo njengo ukuzibophezela, ubudlelwane obunothando (yize kungenzeka kubungani nakulungiselelo lomndeni futhi).
Akukhathalekile kubo ukuthi ukwabelana ngemithwalo yemfanelo ngokuphelele uhlangothi olulodwa noma ubambiswano lususelwa kumjikelezo wosizi nokutakula, bakubheka konke njengesibopho esinempilo, nesisondelene.
Lapho umnakekeli akha ubudlelwano, bakwenza lokho ngezizathu ezihluke kakhulu. Bangathanda ukuzizwa bethandwa futhi befunwa yilokho abayikho, kodwa futhi bayakuhlonipha ukuzimela komunye umuntu. Bayakuqonda ukuthi yize kunezinzuzo eziningi zokwabelana ngempilo nothile, kodwa banamandla okuziphilisa bebodwa uma bekufanele.
Ukwahlukana kwe-Angst
Njengoba ubuningi babo beboshelwe ebudlelwaneni abanabo nomunye, umuntu othembekile uthola noma ikuphi ukwahlukana okude kubo kungabekezeleleki. Njengoba kungekho muntu ozokhonza lapho, baqala ukuzizwa bengelutho njengokungathi ingxenye yabo ithathiwe.
Abantu abakhathalelayo ngokwemvelo bayakwazi ukuzivikela uma othandekayo engekho. Yebo, bazobakhumbula, kepha ngeke bakuvumele kube nomthelela ekusebenzeni kwempilo yabo nganoma iyiphi indlela enkulu. Bazokwazi ukubhekana kahle nje, noma isikhathi eside, ngoba bavikeleke ngokwanele kubo.
Ukuntuleka Kwemingcele
Labo abajwayele ukuziphatha ngokuzimela balwela ukubona imingcele phakathi kwabo nelinye iqembu. Umqondo wokuthi bangumuntu ongaphandle awaziwa kubo futhi bakhetha ukucabanga ngokwento ehlanganisiwe.
umane wenza uhlu
Umphumela uba ukuthi abakwazi ukuqonda okungokwabo nokuthi yini okungeyona. Bavumela imizwa yomunye umuntu ukuba ilawule eyabo, babalwele izimpi zabo, futhi badele ubunikazi bezinto zabo, imali, ngisho nemizimba yabo.
Abanakekeli bagcina umehluko wengqondo phakathi kwabo nabanye. Bayakwazi setha imingcele yomuntu siqu ecacile futhi eqinile ezigcina isimilo nemikhuba yazo eyehlukile. Basengathonywa abantu besithathu, kepha ungalokothi uvumele ukuzizwa kwabo kudidaniswe nomunye.
Ukuzizwa Uzibophezele Abanye
Omunye umphumela wemingcele engekho ukuthi abantu abathembekile bazizwa benesibopho ngezenzo zomunye umuntu. Babona lokho kuziphatha njengokuzikhulisa kwabo futhi bazizwa benecala lapho kuphambana nezinkambiso ezamukelekayo.
Lesi ngesinye sezizathu zokuthi kungani bezobalinda ezandleni nasezinyaweni ngokunikeza omunye umuntu konke, bagwema izimo eziningi ezingabukwa ngendlela engeyinhle.
Ngokuphambene, umnakekeli uyazi ukuthi ekugcineni sinesibopho sezimpilo zethu futhi ngeke afune ukuvikela isimilo abangavumelani naso, noma ngabe bamthanda kangakanani umenzi wobubi. Bangazisola ngokwenziwe abanye abantu, kepha ngeke bathambekele ekubeni nemizwa yecala.
Ukwenza Ngezintshisekelo Zabo Ezinhle Kakhulu
Abantu abathembekile bangathanda ukucabanga ukuthi basiza omunye umuntu ngokuzisindisa kubo, kepha imvamisa kunjalo ukuthi banika amandla ukuqhubeka kokuziphatha okungafuneki.
Noma ngabe kugcina umuntu enempilo yomzimba noma yengqondo ebuthakathaka, ekhuthaza ukungenzi kahle kwakhe kahle, noma esekela ukulutheka kwakhe, abantu abathembela kumakhodi abakwenzi okufunelwa omunye umuntu. Empeleni benza okulungile kubo ngokugcina ubudlelwano futhi ngaleyo ndlela incazelo abayithathayo kubo.
Abanakekeli bathatha enye indlela ngoba bayakwazi - futhi bazimisele ngokwengeziwe - ukubona izinkinga elinye iqembu elibhekene nazo. Abazisebenzeli ngokwabo, kodwa kunalokho benza kumuntu odinga, futhi ovame ukufuna, ukwenza ngcono isimo sabo.
Ukubeka Omunye Umuntu Kuqala
Ngendlela exakayo kancane, abantu abathembela kumakhodi futhi bathambekele ekubekeni izidingo zomunye umuntu kuqala kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Bazodela ukujabulela kwabo, isikhathi sabo, ngisho nenhlala-kahle yabo uma kusho ukuthi bangaletha ukwaneliseka.
Umehluko obalulekile phakathi kwaleli phuzu nowokugcina ukuthi bazonikeza futhi banikeze inqobo nje uma kungadingi ukuthi badele ubudlelwano ngokuphelele. Futhi njengoba kunjalo ngephuzu langaphambilini, ngeke bakhathazeke kakhulu uma kungenzeka ukuthi bavimba injabulo yesikhathi eside yalowo omunye umuntu noma impilo.
Umnakekeli uzokuzimisela ukudela okuthile ukuze asize omunye, kepha kuzoba nemikhawulo kulokho abazokwenza. Babeka inani eliphakeme kakhulu ezidingweni zabo futhi bafisa ukukubeka eceleni ngokuphelele.
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Amanga Okuncika
Kukhona, impela, abantu abaningi abathembele kwabanye ukuthola ukunakekelwa kwabo kwansuku zonke, kepha umqondo oncomekayo unikeza lesi sidingo noma ngabe besingekho ekuqaleni.
ngubani phil lester ukuphola
Bangabona umuntu onele ngokuphelele odinga usizo lwabo ngoba luhambisana nesifiso sabo sokukunikeza. Ekugcineni omunye umuntu angahle ancike kubo ngenani elikhulu lezinto abebengazenza bona phambilini.
Umnakekeli ubona izinto ngendlela ehlukile. Bazofuna ukusiza abantu ukuthi bagcine ukuzimela ngangokunokwenzeka, njengoba amakhono abo ehluleka kubo. Bazoba wusizo lapho becelwa, kepha ngeke balulethe usizo lwabo kwabanye abangaluceli.
Ukubhekana Nokwenqatshwa
Lapho umuntu onobuntu obethembele kokunye enqatshelwe usizo lwakhe, noma lapho kungaziwa ukuthi kwenzekani, bezwa ubuhlungu obukhulu ngokomzwelo.
Lokhu kubuyela emuva esidingweni sabo sokudingeka kanye nokuphendula kwabo lapho kungekho. Ngaphandle kokwazisa kwabanye, bazizwa bengelutho futhi belahlekile ngoba yilokhu kuphela okubalethela ukuthula.
Umnakekeli ngeke adumale uma imizamo yabo inganakwa bangahle babonge nganoma yikuphi ukubonga okuza kubo, kepha ngokuyinhloko banikela ngesifiso sabo sokwenza okuhle.
Ukuqaphela
Sona kanye isisekelo sempilo ye-codependent ubuhlobo babo nomunye umuntu futhi lokhu kuholela ku izinga lokunamathiselwe okungenampilo nentshisekelo kubo. Bafinyelela ezingeni lapho cishe yonke imicabango yokuvuka ihilela elinye iqembu.
Bayazibuza ukuthi bacabangani, ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, ngenkathi bezama ukubona kusengaphambili zonke izifiso nezifiso zabo. Bancike kakhulu kubo ngokomzwelo futhi bakhathazeke kakhulu ngokulahleka kwabo kangangokuba bakhathazeka ngokweqile.
Umnakekeli angahle abe nokukhathazeka nokungavikeleki, kepha lokhu kujwayelekile impela ngenkathi kuhlala kwenzeka ngezikhathi ezithile. Bangcono futhi ekukhulumeni le mizwa nomlingani wabo okusiza ukuxazulula inkinga ngaphambi kokuthi ikhule ezingqondweni zabo.
Ukungakwazi Ukugqashula
Noma ubudlelwano bufinyelela eqophelweni lapho izinhlangothi zombili zingajabule, umuntu othembekile uzolwela ukuqeda izinto ngenxa yecala elikhulu abezolizwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngaphandle kokuthi bakwazi ukufaka elinye iqembu ngokushesha, baphoqeleke ukubhekana nesikhathi sodwa okufana nephupho elibi labo.
Umuntu onakekelayo uzoqonda ukuthi, noma kungaphumela ebunzimeni obukhulu besikhashana, kwesinye isikhathi kungcono ukuhamba ngezindlela zakho ezihlukile ukuze uthole injabulo ehlala njalo nokwaneliseka. Ngeke babe nobugovu kangangokuba babambelele ebudlelwaneni njengenye indlela yokuba yedwa.
Imivuzo Yokunika amandla
Mhlawumbe umehluko obalulekile phakathi kwama-codependents nabanakekeli - lowo osekela konke lokhu okungenhla - kulokho umuntu ngamunye akuthathayo ekusizeni omunye umuntu.
Ukuzimela ngokweqile kuvuzwa ngokuziphatha kwabo okuvumayo ngobudlelwano obuzinzile obunikeza injongo nenjongo empilweni yabo. Izizathu zabo zokuba umnakekeli ngokuyinhloko zinobugovu emvelweni, kuvalela omunye umuntu ebugqilini noma ngabe akuyona into ebalungele.
Umuntu onakekela ngokweqiniso angazizwa enesizotha lapho enikeza usizo kwabanye, kepha angaba sethubeni elifanayo lokusiza noma ngabe bebezohlupheka ngandlela thile ngenxa yalokho. Bakhombisa ukungabi nabugovu bangempela futhi bafuna kuphela ukukhuthaza inhlalakahle yomunye umuntu.
Ngabe manje uyakuqonda ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukunakekela umuntu ngokuqhathaniswa nokuzimela kuye? Ngabe kukusizile ukuthi uzikhombe njengomunye noma omunye? Shiya amazwana ngezansi ngemicabango nemizwa yakho.
Ngabe awunasiqiniseko sokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokuxhomekeka kwakho? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
Leli khasi liqukethe izixhumanisi ezihambisanayo. Ngithola ikhomishini encane uma ukhetha ukuthenga noma yini ngemuva kokuchofoza kuzo.