Akungabazeki ukuthi uzwe othile ebizwa ngokuthi 'unezinkinga zikababa' ngaphambili, kepha lokho kusho ukuthini, ngqo?
Kuvame ukusetshenziswa njengegama elibi kubantu besifazane nabesilisa abesilisa abathandanayo, ikakhulukazi labo abathandana nabantu abaneminyaka engu-10 + ubudala kunabo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye abantu basolwa ngokuba nezinkinga zikababa uma bengqubuzana namadoda amadala, noma uma isimilo sabo siguquka sibheka kwabasegunyeni asebekhulile.
Njengoba ungacabanga, kukhona umehluko ophawulekayo phakathi kokuthandayo ekuheheni komuntu siqu, kanye nokuhlukumezeka kwangempela okuhlobene nobaba.
Ake sibheke amanye amacala angabhalwa ngokuthi 'izingqinamba zikababa,' futhi ngethemba lokuthi sizothola ukuqonda okuthe xaxa ngokuthi zibangelwa yini.
Abantu abakhangwa ngokobulili emadodeni amadala (ababakhumbuza ngoyise, noma ngomuntu ofana nobaba).
Lokhu kungenzeka lapho umuntu ekhula ekhonza ubaba wakhe. Umzali wabo kungenzeka ukuthi wayeyiphupho eliphelele, futhi bafuna umlingani ohlanganisa zonke izimfanelo abazithandayo kubaba wabo.
Kuvame kakhulu kubantu abalahlekelwa ngoyise ngenxa yokugula noma ukulimala. Ngakho-ke, bagcina ngokufuna uhlobo lomuntu ongangena esikhundleni salowo abalahlekile, bengacabangi ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuziphatha luzomthinta kanjani omunye umuntu ebudlelwaneni.
Ngenye indlela, bangakhangwa ezibalweni zikayise ngoba bengakutholanga ukunakekelwa abakudingayo / abakufunayo kuyise wabo. Isibonelo, kufanele 'wabelane' nobaba nabazali, izingane zakini, njll.
Izimpawu:
- Bathandana namadoda amadala kuphela.
- Thola abesilisa abaneminyaka efanayo / abancane abacasulayo noma abangathandeki.
- Yiba nokuthambekela kokuzizwa ukhathazekile noma ungazethembi (okuphikiswa ubukhona besilisa esidala).
- Ukuzethemba okuphansi, futhi ujabulela ukunakwa abakuthola emadodeni amadala.
- Ukudlala ngothando nazo zonke izinhlobo zamadoda, ngisho nangaphambi komlingani wabo.
Ungabhekana kanjani uma unokuncika lokhu:
Zinike isikhathi ubheke umlando wakho wokuqomisana, bese ubona ukuthi amadoda owathandana nawo akukhumbuzile yini ngezindlela ezahlukene ngoyihlo.
Ngenye indlela, uma ukhule ungenaye ubaba, thembeka kuwe ngokuthi kungani ukhangwa ngabafana abadala. Ingabe zikwenza uzizwe uphephile? Ngabe bakunikeza ukuzinza, izinsizakusebenza, nokuholwa owakuthola ngenkathi usemncane?
Uma ukhululekile ngalolu hlobo lwamandla, futhi kunjalo, lokho kulungile impela. Uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano bezothando, iminyaka impela iyinombolo nje, futhi abantu bangaba nobudlelwano obunomvuzo nalabo abadala kakhulu noma abancane kunabo.
Lokho kusho ukuthi kunamadoda amadala asizakala ngabantu abasha ababuthaka futhi asenge ngempela isibalo sikababa onamandla. Bangathola ukucindezela okukhulu, ukufuna ngenkani, nokulawula, futhi okuqale njengendawo ezinzile, ephephile kungahle kuguqulwe kube lapho uzizwa ubhajwe futhi “ungumnikazi.”
Ukukhuluma nomelaphi noma umeluleki kungakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nemizwa yakho ngobudlelwano bakho, futhi unqume izizathu eziholela ekutheni uqhubeke nokugcina ngamadoda amadala.
Noma ngabe ungathanda ukuqhubeka ngale ndlela, noma unqamule izindlela zokuziphatha ezingezinhle ukuze uphishekele ukubambisana okunempilo, ukukhuluma ngakho konke nochwepheshe onelayisense kungaba usizo olukhulu.
ngiza ngamandla kakhulu
Abantu abavaliwe ngokocansi ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kukababa okungekuhle.
Esinye isizathu sokuthi kungani abanye abantu bengabalekela ubudlelwane bobulili kungenxa yokuthi ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, abafuni ukudumaza ubaba.
Owesifazane osemusha obaba wakhe wayemphatha “njengentombazanyana yakhe,” futhi ekhuthaza “ubumsulwa” bobulili njengophawu lwesimilo esihle angase azizwe enecala elikhulu uma kuziwa ezenzweni zocansi zanoma yiluphi uhlobo.
Ngenxa yalokho, angaba nobunzima ekujabuleleni ucansi, ngokungapheli abone njengesenzo esiyihlazo esidala imizwa enamandla yecala.
Angadudula noma yibaphi kanye nabo bonke abangahle abe abalingani bobulili njengendlela yokuzivikela kuleyo mizwa emibi.
Ngenye indlela, angahle akhethe ubudlelwane bobulili obufanayo ngoba bubukeka bungamhlazisi kancane kuye.
Lokhu kungenzeka nakwabesilisa obaba babo ababehlambulula kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngocansi. Eqinisweni, lokhu kungadala umonakalo omkhulu kwi-psyche yensizwa uma ikhula icabanga ukuthi isenzo socansi siyihlazo.
Ngaphandle kokukhetha ubulili (ubulili) bakhe, cishe uzoba nobunzima ngokusondelana kwangempela, futhi angagcina izithiyo ezingokomzwelo, noma azithole esesebenza nezinkinga ezifana nokungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile ngenxa yokukhuliswa kwakhe.
Vele, udaba olumnyama lungase lusondele lapha, futhi lokho uma abantu behlukunyezwa ngokocansi ngubaba wabo noma usingayise. Uma lokho kwenzeka, bangaba namahloni ebudlelwaneni nabesilisa bebonke, ikakhulukazi amadoda amadala.
Ngenye indlela, okuphambene kungaba iqiniso: abantu kaningi phinda amaphethini wobudlelwano angenampilo ngethemba lokuhlehlisa 'ukulungisa' ubuhlobo obubi kusuka esikhathini esidlule.
Ngokuyisisekelo, benza into efanayo kaningi futhi banethemba lokuthi ngelinye ilanga bayoba nomphumela omuhle abebewufuna.
Ngenxa yalokhu, abanye abantu bakhangwa futhi benyanyeka abesilisa ababakhumbuza oyise.
Bangashaqiswa ubulili nabo futhi babajezise ngommeleli wokuziphatha kwabahlukumezi babo. Noma bangabalandela ngeqondo elinganakile, bese bebaxosha uma besondela kakhulu.
indlela yokubhekana nabangane mbumbulu
Izimpawu:
- Ubudlelwano bothando / inzondo nobaba wakho.
- Zonke izinhlobo ze izindaba zokuthembela .
- Uvalo, amahloni, noma amahloni uma kukhulunywa ngokusondelana ngokocansi.
- Ukukhetha ubudlelwano obukude ngokomzwelo ngakho akudingeki uvule kakhulu.
- I-serial monogamy / breakups njalo konke kuqalwe nguwe.
- Ukucekela phansi ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Ungabhekana kanjani uma unale nkinga:
Le nkinga ethile ivame ukungazi, njengoba abantu kungenzeka ukuthi bacindezele okwenzeka esikhathini esedlule futhi bavele benze ngokuthanda ngaphandle kokubona ukuthi kungani bekwenza abakwenzayo.
Abanye, noma kunjalo, bangahle bazi ukuthi kwenzekani emakhanda nasezinhliziyweni zabo, kepha abazi ukuthi bangakhuluma kanjani, noma belaphe kukho.
Ubulili buyinto ebucayi, eyinkimbinkimbi yokuzulazula, ikakhulukazi nomlingani omusha. Imvamisa kuthatha isikhathi ukuzizwa unethezekile ngokwanele nomlingani ukuxoxa ngokudlule komuntu, kepha ukungakhulumi ngalezi zinkinga kusenesikhathi ebudlelwaneni kungaphonsa isikhonkwane nasezintweni.
Kungumugqa obucayi kakhulu ukuzulazula…
Uma ukhipha ama-hang-up ocansi ahlobene nobaba wakho ngosuku lokuqala, usengozini yokungalitholi elinye lesibili, ngoba lokho kungaba imininingwane / imithwalo ethe xaxa yalomuntu omusha ongayiphatha.
Ngenye indlela, uma ungakhulumi ngayo kusenesikhathi, futhi unokuhlaselwa ukwethuka noma ukungakwazi ukwenza okokuqala (noma amahlandla ambalwa) uya ocansini, izinto zingaba nzima futhi zingakhululeki kubo bonke abathintekayo.
Nakulokhu futhi, lesi yisimo esingahanjiswa ngempumelelo ngosizo lomelaphi, ikakhulukazi lowo ogxile kwezocansi. Ngale ndlela, uxoxa ngezinto nomuntu oqeqeshelwe ukusiza abanye ngokusebenzisa ncamashi lolu hlobo lwesimo.
Bangakunikeza ukuqonda nokuqondiswa kokuthi ungabusebenzisa kanjani ubudlelwano bakho, futhi futhi bakusize ukuthi usebenze kokuhlangenwe nakho obukade kulolonge lokhu kuthambekela kokuqala.
Abantu abanezinkinga ezinkulu zokulahlwa.
Uma ubaba womuntu wayekude ngokomzwelo, engavumi ukuthi ukhona, noma engenaso isikhathi sabo ngemuva kwesehlukaniso, bangahle babhekane nobunzima izingqinamba zokulahlwa .
uyeke kanjani ukuthanda umuntu ongakuthandi
Ngenxa yalokhu, bangalimaza ubudlelwano babo ngokuziphatha okungaphephile neze.
Bazodinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo kokuthi bayathandwa, futhi bazohlaziya yonke imisho, yonke imibhalo, konke ukuziphatha ukuze babone ukuthi kukhona yini amathuba okuqanjelwa amanga, noma onqenqemeni lokulahlwa.
Bangaphinde badudule noma ngubani onentshisekelo yothando kubo ngoba 'bazi nje' ukuthi bazogcina belimele futhi bakhashelwe. Ngemuva kwakho konke, leyo kwakuyindikimba ejwayelekile abakhule nayo, akunjalo?
Izimpawu:
- Isidingo sokuqinisekiswa njalo sokuthi bayathandwa.
- Ukuhlubuka nokuziphatha okuxekethile, ukujezisa lo mfana ngokungabi nentshisekelo / ukunakekelwa kukayise.
- Ukuzethemba okubi ngokwesabekayo, kanye nesidingo sokuqinisekiswa ngumlingani wabo.
- Ukukhathazeka nokwethuka mayelana nokuthi kungenzeka “ulahlwe”
- Ukuthambekela ekuphuthumeleni ebudlelwaneni ngenhloso yokuphepha.
- Ifuna ukuqinisekiswa okungokomzwelo emadodeni angatholakali ngokomzwelo.
- Ukuntuleka kokuzethemba: ukuhlola abalingani babo ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi abakhohlisi, noma ukuthi balapho abathi bayoba khona.
- Ukunamathela, isimilo sokuswela, ukweqa imingcele ebekiwe ngenxa yokuqiniseka kwabo.
- Amaphethini aphindaphindiwe okuzibandakanya nabakwa-narcissists noma abesilisa abahlukumeza ngokomzwelo.
Ungabhekana kanjani uma unale nkinga:
Uma ungekho ekwelashweni okwamanje, cabanga ukuthola umelaphi i-ASAP. Kuzodingeka ufunde ukuthi ungaziqinisekisa kanjani ukuthi uyathandwa futhi uphephile, kunokuba uthembele kumlingani wakho ukuthi akwenzele lokho njalo.
Eqinisweni, zimbalwa izinto ezizodudula abalingani kude kakhulu kunesidingo esibi kakhulu nokungazethembi ngokomzwelo. Ngokudinga ukuqinisekiswa kwabo njalo ngoba wesaba ukuthi bazokulahla nganoma yimuphi umzuzwana, empeleni ungadala ukuthi leso simo senzeke.
Bheka ukwelashwa kokuziphatha okuqondakalayo nokuqondayo ukukusiza ufunde ukuthi ungayibamba kanjani imizwa yakho futhi uyihambise ngezindlela ezakha ngokwengeziwe. Ngokwenza njalo, ungazinika amandla, welaphe ukuhlukumezeka kwangaphambilini ukuze ungangeni ekulweni nokwesaba ukulwa, noma ube nobudlelwano obunempilo, obuqinile ngokuzayo.
Abantu abafuna ubudlelwano obungebona ubulili nezibalo zobaba.
Ubudlelwano bungafika ngazo zonke izindlela futhi bubumbe ongakucabanga. Ezinye zisondelene, kanti ezinye ziyi-plonic. Kakade, ubungane bethu obusondelene kakhulu impela, akunjalo? Abangane, futhi imvamisa ngaphandle kwezinzuzo.
Abanye abantu abanezinkinga 'zobaba' bafuna ubuhlobo obuseduze kakhulu namadoda amadala, kepha abafuni ukuthi babe ocansini.
Kwabanye, kungenxa yokuthi babenobudlelwano obusondelene kakhulu, obunothando nobaba wabo, futhi bafuna ukuzwa into efanayo futhi. Kufana nesibonelo sethu sokuqala, kepha ngaphandle kwento yezocansi.
Abanye babenobaba ongekho, noma omunye ongazange ababazise noma ababazise, ngakho-ke badlulisela isidingo sabo sothando lwabazali nokwamukelwa komunye umuntu.
Laba kaningi ngabantu abakwazisayo ukuhlakanipha nesiqondiso abangasithola kubanumzane asebekhulile.
Umcabango wokusondelana ngokocansi nale ndoda esikhulile kungenzeka ubenyanye kubo. Esikhundleni salokho, bazama ukuthola ukwamukelwa nokwamukelwa, futhi bangaba yisivikelo - futhi babe ngabanikazi babo.
Lokhu kungahle kungalungi futhi kube nzima uma into abayithandayo kungumphathi wabo, noma umhlinzeki wezokunakekelwa kwezempilo, noma omunye umuntu osesikhundleni sokuphatha.
Kungaba kubi nakakhulu uma bezama ukwakha ubuhlobo obuseduze nomzali womngane. Kulesi simo, bangazithola bencintisana nomngani wabo ngothando nokunakwa ngubaba wabo… futhi ungacabanga nje ngobubi obungaba khona.
Izimpawu:
- Ukuthambekela kokuzwana kangcono namadoda amadala kunanoma ngubani omunye umuntu.
- Umona noma ukuncintisana uma abanye abantu bethola ukunakwa kusuka kumuntu 'wakho' wegunya lesilisa.
- Isidingo sokuthola ukunconywa nokuqinisekiswa emadodeni amadala.
- Isifiso sokuchitha isikhathi esiningi nobaba babanye abantu.
- Ukuchitha isikhathi esithe xaxa kunesidingekayo nabaphathi besilisa asebekhulile emsebenzini.
- Ukulungiswa namadoda amadala kumbuthano wakho wokuxhumana nomphakathi (osolwazi, 'abangane' bezindaba zenhlalo, njll.
Ungabhekana kanjani uma unokuncika lokhu:
Okokuqala nokuphambili, ukuvuma ukuthi ukhombisa lolu hlobo lokuziphatha kukhulu kakhulu. Ukuqwashisa nokuzazisa kaningi kungaba nzima kakhulu, ngakho-ke uma wenza lo msebenzi ukuqonda izindlela zakho zokuziphatha nokuthi zisukaphi, wenze kahle.
Okusemqoka kulezi zimo ukwazi nokuhlonipha imingcele yendoda endala - nokuzibekela eminye yayo. Ngokubona lapho ukuziphatha kwakho kweqa umugqa, ungenza ushintsho ukugcina ubuhlobo bunempilo.
Ngemuva kwakho konke, ubungani namadoda amadala akufanele buguqulwe noma into okufanele uzizwe kabi ngayo. Kumele uqonde ukuthi kungani lobu bungani busho lukhulu kuwe ngenkathi uhlala uqaphe izimo noma imicabango engase ingabi yimpilo.
Enye into okufanele ubhekane nayo yisidingo sakho sokuqinisekiswa nokwamukelwa - hhayi kuphela emadodeni amadala, kepha kunoma ngubani. Lokhu kukodwa kungadala ukungezwani kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano. Ngokusebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho - ngosizo lwakho lochwepheshe - ungasinqoba isidingo sakho sokudunyiswa nokunakwa okuhle.
Kunezimbangela ezingenamkhawulo.
Lezi yizimbangela ezimbalwa ezahlukahlukene zezinkinga ezingaba khona zikababa. Bonke ubudlelwano buhlukile, futhi ngokungangabazeki kukhona ukujikajika okufihliwe okuguqukayo kuwo wonke umzali / ingane enamandla.
Ake sithi umuntu udlula cishe yonke impilo yakhe etshelwa ukuthi ubaba wakhe uyisikhwama sokungcola esesabekayo ngokushiya umndeni. Ngenxa yalokho, bangahle babe nokukhathazeka kokushiya, noma babe nobunzima bokwenza okunamathiselwe kwabesilisa, ngoba bahlala bekhathazekile ukuthi bangahamba.
Akunandaba noma ngabe yini imbangela eholele ezindabeni zikababa wakho, ukhiye ukubona izindlela zakho zokuziphatha ekubhekaneni nazo.
Abantu abaningi abanalezi zinkinga bahlala bezithola bezinhlobo ezifanayo, ezingenampilo zobudlelwano, ngoba bajwayelekile. Futhi, kanjalo nje 'Ungcono usathane omaziyo kunosathane wena awumazi' adage, ajwayelekile uzizwa ephephile.
Kepha azikho kulezi zindlela zokuziphatha ezizokusiza ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Okusemqoka ukuwabona, futhi ngokwenza njalo, wephula lowo mzuliswano wokunganaki. Leyo ukuphela kwendlela yokuba nanoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano obunempilo, nozinzile.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokwenza ngezinkinga zikababa wakho kanye nomthelela abanayo ebudlelwaneni bakho? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
Ungahle uthande:
izimpawu hes hhayi nje kuwe
