Kungani umuntu eshiya umuntu amthandayo?
Le yinto abantu abaningi abakuthola kunzima ukuyiqonda. Abanye baze benqabe ukukholwa ukuthi kungenzeka.
Kepha noma ngabe kushiya ubudlelwano emuva noma kudedelwa wonke umndeni, ikhaya, nempilo eyabiwe, abanye besifazane bakhetha ukushiya amadoda abathandayo.
Ake siqhubeke ngezizathu ezi-10 ezivame kakhulu zokuthi kungani abesifazane bengakwenza lokhu.
1. Kukhona ukungabi nentshisekelo.
Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu noma yibuphi ubuhlobo, kufaka phakathi umshado, engabhekana nazo ukwehla kwenzalo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Lokhu kuyinto engenzeka ngenxa yezizathu eziningi, kepha kuyaqabukela ukulahleka kothando.
Sonke sinokuphila okumatasa kakhulu, noma ngabe yimisebenzi yethu, izingane, noma izinto esizithandayo. Ukuba matasa kusho ukuthi imvamisa kufanele sibeke phambili lokho esikwenzayo nalapho sichitha khona amandla ethu nesikhathi esiningi.
Abaningi bethu babuthatha kalula ubuhlobo bethu ngezindlela ezithile.
Akukhona ukuthi asinandaba, yikho nje ukuthi sinomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wethu uzohlala ekhona futhi sinenkululeko ethile yokwenza ezinye izinto, sivikelekile ekwazini ukuthi ubudlelwane bethu buhlala njalo ezimpilweni zethu.
Ukucabanga ukuthi ubudlelwano bethu busendaweni enhle kungaholela ekubeni sitshale isikhathi esiningi nomzamo kwezinye izindawo zokuphila, kusenze singanaki lowo esimthandayo.
Abesifazane bangahamba ngoba umlingani wabo utshala imali ngalesi sikhathi nomzamo kwenye indawo futhi bazizwa benesizungu futhi benganakiwe.
Noma, kungenzeka kube yibona abaqaphele ukuthi, yize bebathanda abalingani babo, kodwa futhi bayakujabulela ukwenza ezinye izinto.
Obunye ubudlelwano bufinyelela eqophelweni lapho umuntu ngamunye kufanele anqume ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu kubo - umlingani wabo noma bona uqobo, cishe.
Lapho siba nentshisekelo yokuchitha isikhathi nabanye, ukuba nezinto esizithandayo, nokuphila impilo yokuzimela, ozakwethu bangazizwa sengathi siyabashiya ngemuva.
Lokhu yilokhu okuholela ekutheni abesifazane bashiye abesilisa ababathandayo - noma ngabe yikuphi uhlangothi lwaleyo mpi abasuke bekuyo, kungaba abanganakiwe noma abasanda kuzwela.
2. Umyeni wabo uphambukile.
Ukukopela kuyisici esikhulu ekuchithekeni kobudlelwano.
Kungenzeka ukuthi kusenenani elikhulu kakhulu lokuthandana phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, kodwa lokho akukwenzi kube lula uma umlingani wakho engathembekile.
Ukuhlala nomuntu okhohlisiwe kuwe akunakwenzeka kwabanye abantu, futhi kube nzima kakhulu kwabanye.
Kunzima ukwazi ukuthi ungazizwa kanjani kwesinye isikhathi, yize wazi ukuthi ubathanda ekujuleni kwenhliziyo. Imizwa yokukhaphela nokuphoxeka kungaba nzima ukudlula ukwedlula isenzo uqobo.
Bese kuba khona yonke imibuzo onayo ngokungenakugwenywa: ngabe kwaba kanye nje, uyamthanda, kwakungcono yini - futhi ngani ?!
Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi ungabaza ukuzinza kobuhlobo bakho ngenxa yokuthi umuntu omkhathalele usanda kuphambana nomgomo oyisisekelo wokuhlangana okukhethekile, okunempilo.
izinto okufanele uzibheke kumfana
Lokhu kujwayelekile impela, kepha kungaholela ekubeni ushiye indoda oyithandayo, ngoba akekho umuntu ofuna ukuba ebudlelwaneni obungazinzile.
3. Uthando lukhona, kepha ukukhangana sekuhambile.
Lokhu kuyinkohliso impela ukuzama ukuchazela umuntu ongakaze abhekane nakho, kepha kungaba ngesinye sezizathu ezinkulu zokuthi kungani owesifazane enquma ukushiya indoda athi uyayithanda.
Kungenzeka impela ukuthanda umuntu ngaphandle kokuthi usakhangwa yibo!
Lokhu kungenzeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi imvamisa kuyinqubo ehamba kancane.
Kungenzeka ukuthi akuyena nje umuntu owathandana naye ekuqaleni. Impilo iyasiguqula sonke, futhi abanye bethu bashintsha ngamanani ahlukene noma ngezindlela ezihluke ngokuphelele kozakwethu.
Kungenzeka ukuthi isoka lakho belinomusa ngendlela emangalisayo futhi lihloniphekile lapho nihlangana okokuqala futhi nithandana, kepha manje seliyinkani futhi linemikhuba emibi kakhulu.
Kungaba yinkohliso ukwazi ukuthi ungalusingatha kanjani lolu hlobo lwesimo ngoba usathanda kubo emgogodleni wawo, kepha izingcezu ozithole zikhanga ngempela zisanda kuphela.
Ngokulinganayo, kungenzeka ukuthi nihlangene lapho nobabili benemidlalo enhle futhi niphilile futhi senizinze esimisweni semibhangqwana yakudala yokuvilapha nizodla i-takeout!
Vele, ukuthi ubukeka kanjani nokuthi ulinganisa kangakanani akunqumi ukubaluleka kwakho, kepha umgomo walolu shintsho ungadala ushintsho ekutheni wena nomlingani wakho ningakhanga kanjani.
Kungenzeka ukuthi niyathandana ngenxa yokuthi nobabili nikuthande kangakanani ukuya ejimini kanye nokuphuma ekugijimeni isikhathi eside ndawonye.
Iqiniso lokuthi lokho kuhambile futhi umlingani wakho usalambile noma angasebenzi kangako kungabenza bangakhangi kangako ngokuya ngobuntu babo ngaphezu kwesisindo sabo!
Noma ngabe ikuphi, abesifazane abathola abalingani babo bengakhangi kangako bangadlala indima enkulu ekutheni bahambe besuka emadodeni abathandayo.
4. Ubudlelwano buya ngokuya ngokubambisana.
Ubudlelwano bungashintsha ngokushesha bube ubudlelwano obuxhomekeke kwabanye, obungenampilo futhi obungaba nobuthi.
Abanye besifazane bathola ukuthi lesi yisizathu esanele sokuhamba.
Abanye bayabona ukuthi yibo abathembele kumlingani wabo, kanti abanye bayabona ukuthi ngumlingani wabo obeka ingcindezi kubo.
Uma ubonile ukuthi, njengowesifazane osemshadweni, ubeka ingcindezi eyengeziwe kumlingani wakho ukuthi abambe iqhaza kuyo yonke into oyenzayo, kungahle kukwenza ufune ukubhekisa ekuphumeni.
indlela yokuthola ukunakwa kwakhe ngokungamnaki
Kuyesabeka ukubona kungazelelwe ukuthi 'uswele' noma 'unamathele' nokuthi ungaba nezinkinga zokulawula eziphathelene nomlingani wakho.
Ungabona ukuthi unesikhwele ngokweqile ngobungane babo noma ulindele ukuthi bazochitha isikhathi nawe - konke isikhathi.
Lokhu ukubona kahle kwemfucumfucu futhi kungaholela ekuqedeni ubudlelwano ukuze nisindise nobabili.
Awufuni ukuqhubeka ube yilowo muntu noma udlale leyo ndima, futhi ufuna ukuba nesikhathi sakho wedwa, ungashadile, ukuze ubuyele ekuziqinisekiseni ukuze ungadingi lokho kuxhaswa okuqhubekayo okuvela kumlingani wakho.
Ungase futhi uqaphele ukuthi uthanda isoka lakho noma umyeni wakho ngokweqile ukuze uzifake kwingcindezi yokuba sebudlelwaneni obuxhomekeke kubambisene nabo obuvele.
I-cliché kepha iyiqiniso impela - uma uthanda umuntu, myeke ahambe. Kwesinye isikhathi kungcono ukuthi wonke umuntu ahambe, noma ngabe uyabathanda, futhi uyeke ukuzilimaza ngokwengeziwe.
Ngokulinganayo, kungenzeka ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi umlingani wakho nguyena othembele kakhulu kuwe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Lesi yisimo esinzima ukusisingatha njengoba ufuna ukusekela, kepha kufanele uthole ibhalansi phakathi kokunakekelwa nokuzinakekela!
Abesifazane abaningi bayishiyile indoda abayithandayo ngoba abakwazi nje ukubhekana nokuba nomuntu oncike kubo.
Ubudlelwano obuhle babantu abaningi buhilela ukulinganisela kohlobo oluthile - nobabili niyakujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, kodwa futhi niyakwazisa, futhi nihlonipha, ukuthi ngamunye wenu abe nezimpilo zakhe okufanele aziphilele.
Lapho le bhalansi ithatha, kunoma iyiphi indlela, izinto zingashesha ukwehla.
5. Izinkinga zokwethembana.
Manje, lokhu kuyinkohliso ngempela, kodwa futhi kujwayelekile ngendlela emangalisayo.
Ukuthembana kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni futhi mhlawumbe kubaluleke kakhulu ekubusebenziseni.
Sonke sifuna ukukwazi ukwethemba ozakwethu, kodwa kwenzekani lapho singakwazi noma singenzi?
Ukuntuleka kokuthembana kungangena endleleni yezinye izingxenye eziningi ezinhle zokuba nothile - ukuhambisana, ukuheha, ukuqonda nokuzijabulisa.
Ungaba kubudlelwano bephupho uma ungabheka zonke lezi zinto ohlwini, kepha ngaphandle kokwethembana, asikho isisekelo sangempela sokuhlangana kwakho.
Kungenzeka ukuthi awubathembi ngemali futhi ukhathazeke ngezimali zabo, noma ngabe bayagembula noma bamane basebenzise imali abangenayo.
Kungase kube nokuthile okuzwakala ngokomzwelo - kungenzeka ukuthi bakhulume kabi ngawe okwenza ukuthi kube nzima kuwe ukuvumela ukuqapha kwakho kungenzeka ukuthi bakukhohlisile esikhathini esedlule.
Noma ngabe kuyini, abesifazane abaningi baqeda ubudlelwano ngoba abakwazi nje ukwethemba indoda abakanye nayo.
Lesi yisizathu esidabukisayo sokuthi ubudlelwano buphele, kepha imvamisa iyindlela enempilo, evuthiwe futhi izosindisa bobabili abantu ukucasuka, intukuthelo, nobuhlungu benhliziyo phansi.
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6. Ukwehla kokusondelana.
Ukwehla kokusondelana kungaba kubi kakhulu kunalokho okungase kuzwakale ekuqaleni.
cm punk imali ebhange
Akukhona nje ukuthi ufuna ukubambana ngezandla ngaso sonke isikhathi nomuntu ofuna ukubambana ngezandla kuphela kwesinye isikhathi, ukuthi ukusondelana phakathi kwenu nobabili kuphelile.
Ukuntuleka kokusondelana kungazwakala njengokuphela kobudlelwano bakho ngezinye izindlela ngokungathi uyenqatshwa, cishe, ngokungabi nezenzo ezibonisa uthando.
Akudingeki noma kudabukisa ukufuna ukusondelana ngokomzimba, futhi ukuthinta (kanye nobulili) kuyingxenye enkulu yobudlelwano obunempilo kwimibhangqwana eminingi.
Uma inani lokuthinta nesikhathi esichithwe ukusondela kunqabile, impela kuzoba nezinsimbi ezithile ze-alamu ezizokucabanga.
Abesifazane bavame ukuqala ukukhathazeka uma lokhu kuguqulwa kwemikhuba kuvela entweni abayenzayo (ngokwesibonelo, ukucasula umlingani wabo ngandlela thile), into eyenziwa umlingani wabo (ngokwesibonelo, ukukopela nomunye umuntu), noma okuthile okushintshile ngabo (ngokwesibonelo, ukuthola isisindo esincane).
Lezi zonke izimpendulo zemvelo kakhulu, kepha zizoshiya owesifazane ezibuza ukuthi kwenzakalani.
Uma iqhubeka isikhathi eside, iba yinkinga kakhulu. Ungaqala ukuzizwa sengathi awukwazi ukuya kumlingani wakho ukuze umangale noma uzizwe ungakhululekile ukuqala ucansi.
Awazi ukuthi bazophendula kanjani futhi usuvele ukhathazekile ukuthi kungenxa yezizathu eziningi, kufaka phakathi lezo ezibalwe ngenhla, ngakho-ke yeka ukuzama.
Lapho uqhubeka uyeka ukuzama, mancane amathuba okuthi bona kufanele qala uzama bese ubanjwa kumbuthano ononya.
Lo mbuthano ungaqeda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi, yize uthanda isoka lakho noma umyeni wakho, uzohamba uzisindise.
7. Umehluko ongenakulungiswa.
‘Konke okudingayo uthando,’ kucula i-The Beatles… kodwa bangaki kithi abakukholwayo?
Kungumcabango omuhle futhi kungumbono ophethe ubudlelwano ngesikhathi esifushane. Ningahlangana ngokuhlangana kwemindeni yomunye nomunye futhi nihlale ndawonye ngesisekelo sokuthi niyathandana futhi lokho kwanele.
Kepha kwenzekani lapho uqala ukuba nezingxoxo zangempela ngezinto zangempela?
Esikhathini esithile, omunye wenu kungenzeka aphakamise inkinga yezingane noma yomshado noma yokuthuthela kwelinye izwe ukuze athole ithuba lomsebenzi.
Kuleli qophelo lapho uthando ngokuzumayo alusanele .
Ungahle ube ngokomzimba futhi ehambisanayo ngokomqondo nasothandweni, kepha uma omunye wenu emile kwelokuthi abafuni ukushada kanti omunye ukufuna kakhulu, ninenkinga.
Lokhu kusebenza komunye umehluko ongeke uguquke - umehluko enkolweni, ngokwesibonelo, ungazizwa njengokuthile okufanele 'ucabange ngakho kamuva' kuze kube yilapho okulindelwe ebudlelwaneni bakho kushintsha.
Kungenzeka ukuthi awuthandi ukuthi isoka lakho lihileleke kangakanani emndenini walo ngenxa yenkolo noma isiko lakho umlingani wakho angalucasukela ukholo lwakho nokuthi kuthatha isikhathi sakho esingakanani.
Lezi yizinto okungenzeka ziguquke futhi, kwesinye isikhathi, abesifazane bashiye amadoda abathandayo ngoba alikho ikusasa langempela nabo.
8. Ukungabi nokwazisa.
Sonke sesibonile ama-movie anele mayelana nokuhlukana ukuze sazi ukuthi abesifazane abaningi bashiya abalingani babo ngoba abasazizwa bethandwa.
Imvamisa, lokhu kungenxa yenhlanganisela yezizathu ezingenhla, kepha kuseseyinkinga kakhulu uqobo.
Abesifazane, bobabili abenza izinto ngokufana nokweqiniso, benza into embi kabi uma kukhulunywa ngokukhulisa izingane nokunakekela indlu.
Impela, kunobudlelwano obulinganiselayo lapho indoda ihlala ekhaya ngenkathi owesifazane esebenza, kukhona ubudlelwano lapho owesifazane ajabule ngokuphelele ukuhlala ekhaya, futhi kunezimo ezisebenzela lonke uhlobo lwezithandani ezingekho ukwahlulelwa .
Lokho kusho ukuthi esinye sezizathu esenza abesifazane bahambe kungukuthi bangazizwa bekwaziswa ngakho konke abakwenzayo.
Kungaba lula kakhulu ukukwenza bathathe ophathina bethu kalula nokuthi ungavumi ukuthi basenzela malini nasempilweni yethu.
Isibonelo, ukuhlala ekhaya omama bangathola ukuthi bachitha usuku ekhaya nengane yabo entsha, ngandlela thile bekwazi ukuqoqosha endlini nokuthenga ukudla…
… Umlingani wabo ufika ekhaya ngesikhathi sokulala kwengane abese echitha kusihlwa ekhononda ngokuthi kuthathe isikhathi sabo esiningi esibalulekile futhi manje abakwazi ukuqeda umsebenzi wabo / ukubukela i-TV / ukushaya ibha yezemidlalo nabangane babo.
Yebo, kuyinkolelo-mbono kakhulu futhi kuyalingana nobulili, kepha kunjalo nangempilo yangempela - bhekisisa izinkundla eziku-inthanethi zomama futhi uzobona inqwaba yezikhala zokuthi bazizwa kanjani bengaziswa ngakho konke abakwenzayo.
9. Kunengcindezi enkulu kakhulu.
Lokhu kuyinkohliso futhi kuhamba ngendlela ehlukile ebhekiswe kwabobulili esikhulume ngayo ngenhla - sithanda ukungakhethi!
Kukhona ukucabanga ukuthi uma noma yimuphi umzali ezoshiya, imvamisa indoda.
Vele, lokho akulona iqiniso namuhla njengoba bekulokhu kwenzeka esikhathini esedlule, kodwa kusekhona amaphesenti aphezulu kakhulu obudlelwano aphela ngenxa yokushiya kwendoda.
Ngakho-ke, kungamangaza ukuthi abanye besifazane baphume baye kozakwethu nasemindenini yabo. Okungeke kukumangaze ukuthi ukucabanga kwabo kaningi kufana nokwabesilisa…
Ingcindezi yokuba ngumama nenkosikazi / umlingani ingathola kakhulu kunoma ngubani ngezinye izikhathi.
Futhi, lokhu kungumuzwa wemvelo, ikakhulukazi kulabo abanezingane ezincane kakhulu. Kuningi kakhulu okumele sikwenze futhi sikuqaphele futhi sikunake, futhi umhlaba wethu ogxile ezithombeni, kwezenhlalo-okhathazeka ngokweqile usenza sizizwe sengathi kufanele siphelele ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Kufanele sibe nezingane ezinhle ezigqoke izingubo ezifanayo ezihlala zithule ngenkathi sisalungisa indawo yokucwala izinwele / i-spa / i-nail salon njalo ukuze sihlale sibukeka sizilungisile futhi sikhazimula ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Isidlo sakusihlwa kufanele sibe phezu kwetafula (nekhandlela newayini elithile) lapho umlingani wethu efika ekhaya.
Kukhona nezingcindezi ezigxile emisebenzini kwabesifazane kanye nesifiso sokuba phezulu kwemidlalo yethu.
Kwabesifazane abathile, kukhona konke yalezi zingcindezi kubo.
Akumangazi ukuthi impilo ingakhula kakhulu, okuvame ukuholela ekutheni abesifazane bashiye amadoda abathandayo ngoba abakwazi ukubhekana nengcindezi yezimpilo zabo (ezabiwe).
10. Ukudabuka kwenhliziyo okwedlule.
Ngenkathi sonke sikuqonda ukubaluleka kwalapha futhi manje, kunzima ukungacabangi ngokudlule kwesinye isikhathi.
Esinye sezizathu ezinkulu zokuthi kungani abesifazane beshiya abalingani babo kungumlando wokudabuka kwenhliziyo noma ubudlelwano obungenampilo.
Lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka ngenxa yokwesaba izinto eziziphindayo nabalingani bazo abasha.
Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wabo wangaphambili wayebabhedela futhi ebaphatha kabi.
Kungenzeka ukuthi bayabona ukuthi bangaba nenhlamba ebudlelwaneni futhi bafune ukugwema ukuba yilowo muntu futhi.
Kungahle kube ngenxa yokuhlukana okubi noma indaba yothando ebuhlungu ephele kabi.
abantu abalekela izinkinga zabo
Kunoma yikuphi, abesifazane abaningi bathwala imithwalo yabo engokomzwelo bezungeza nabo kancane kancane ezinhliziyweni zabo kunabesilisa abaningi.
Lokho kusho ukuthi abesifazane banamathuba amaningi okushiya abesilisa ngenxa yokwesaba ukudabuka enhliziyweni.
Bayesaba ukuhlala njengoba bengafuni ukulimala ngokomoya nokucasuka abafuni ukuzwa ukukhashelwa yindoda abayithandayo.
