Impilo ayikaze ikhuphulele wena ngaphandle kwakho kholwa ine.
Ngeke ngikunikeze iminyaka yami, kodwa engizokusho ukuthi angiyona inkukhu yasentwasahlobo. Bengilokhu ngizibuza, lapho ngizoqala okuthile okusha: “Ingabe sengimdala ngokwedlulele ngalokhu?”
Njengoba ngikhula, kunokwenqena okukhulayo ukuzama izinto ezintsha ngoba ngizwa lelo zwi eligigiyelayo ngemuva kwekhanda lami lithi, “Umdala kakhulu, akusizi ngalutho ukuqala manje, kuzofanele ube neminyaka engama-20 ukuze ube nethuba lakho. ”Kudinga umzamo omkhulu kakhulu ukusunduza lelo zwi usuku ngalunye oludlulayo, kodwa ngiyakwenza.
Kungani?
Ngikwenza ngoba ukuphila impilo yami enhle akukhona ukuthi kube 'iminyaka efanelekile,' kumayelana neqiniso impilo ephilayo ngokugcwele futhi ngenza engifuna ukukwenza kulesi sikhathi sokuphila, ngoba konke enginakho yikho manje . Ngingahle ngibe nekusasa eliningi, ngibe nelilodwa - ngakho-ke isenzo esihle kakhulu ukwenza lokho okungilethela injabulo namuhla.
Ubudala buhlobene. Ungaba yisupermodel eneminyaka engama-70? Cishe cha. Uma uneminyaka engama-50, ungaqala ukuqeqesha iMidlalo Yama-Olimpiki emdlalweni ongakaze uzame ngaphambili? Impendulo eqotho kunazo zonke ingucha. Kunemikhawulo, kodwa futhi, ngenkathi ungahle ungabi nguMichael Phelps noma uGiGi Hadid olandelayo, lokho akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukulandela amaphupho akho ngoba ayisekho 'iminyaka efanelekile' emphakathini.
Ngiyalizonda lelo gama, “Iminyaka efanele.” Ungumhlwanyeli oyedwa omkhulu wokungabaza nokubulala amaphupho. Njengolunye uhlobo lwamaGoldilock azama isitsha sokugcina sephalishi, sinesimo sokukholelwa ukuthi kuneminyaka ethile 'elungile.' Kanye nalowo mbono, kuza 'imithetho' emdlalweni wempilo:
Kufanele ushade eminyakeni yakho yamashumi amabili sekwephuzile, hhayi kusenesikhathi, kepha hhayi sekwephuze kakhulu ukuthi ulahlekelwe yi- kwesokudla umuntu uvame ukuzungeza u-27-30, umdala ngokwanele ukuba yenza isinqumo esihlakaniphile , kodwa basebancane ngokwanele ukuthi bangahlekwa usulu njengabakhetha kakhulu ukulinda isikhathi eside kangaka.
Abesifazane kufanele babe nezingane ezineminyaka engama-35 noma uNkulunkulu angavumeli, izinto ezimbi zizokwenzeka kubo. Zijwayele ukuhlaselwa ngosongo lwezinkinga ezikhona zezempilo kanye nezinkinga zokuzalwa. Uma banezingane, bamakwa ngokwedelela 'umama osekhulile' ebaleni lokudlala, babhejwe ngabazali abasebancane bebuza imibuzo enengekayo, noma benikeza ukuphawula okungacelwanga nokulimazayo njengokuthi, “Angazi ukuthi ukwenze kanjani lapho uneminyaka engama-40. Nginqobile ' Ukuba nezinye izingane ngemuva kweminyaka engama-30, kuyingozi kakhulu. ”
Okunye engikuthandayo ukuthi ngeminyaka yakho yama-30s, kulindeleke ukuthi ube nomsebenzi ozinzile, imali engenayo enesizotha, ufake isandla empeshenini, futhi ubheke ukuthenga indlu (okungenzeka ube nomuntu owashada naye “eminyakeni ephelele” engama-27 ).
lapho indoda ingekho kuwe
Impilo ichazwe kahle kithina yaba uchungechunge lwezehlakalo ezilandelanayo okufanele sizishaye njengabacibisheli abashaya i-bullseye ethile yasenganekwaneni. Akumangalisi-ke ukuthi abantu bazizwe sengathi bafinyelele eminyakeni ethile, ukuthi iminyaka yabo engcono kakhulu isemva kwabo, nokuthi 'abakwazi' ngoba usuku lwelayisense labo lokushayela luthi sebekhule kakhulu ukuthi bangabhukuda, thatha i-ballet, qala ukucula, ujoyine iqembu lokumasha, ufundise, njll.
Ngikuphathele izindaba: hhayi wonke umlingisi, umbhali, umculi, noma umsubathi oqale umsebenzi wakhe esemncane. Abaningi bavele badikibala baqhubeka nokwenza abakuthandayo kuze kufike lelo khefu lenhlanhla. Kunabantu abaningi asebephule imigoqo yobudala futhi bashaya izingqinamba, beza engxenyeni engcono kakhulu yezimpilo zabo ngaphezudlwana kwama-20s, 30s kanye nama-40s abo.
UCharles Darwin wayeneminyaka engama-50 ngesikhathi ebhala Kumvelaphi Yezinhlobo ngo-1859. Umsiki wengqephu odumile, uVera Wang, akazange aqale ukuklama izingubo zomshado waze washaya ama-40. Ingwazi yezincwadi zamahlaya uStan Lee wayeneminyaka engama-39 ngenkathi ebhala iSpider-Man. USamuel L. Jackson wayeneminyaka engama-46 lapho eba igama lasekhaya I-Pulp Fiction , futhi umpheki odumile uJulia Childs wavela ohlelweni lwakhe, Umpheki waseFrance, uneminyaka yobudala engama-51. Lokhu kumane nje kuyisiqongo seqhwa, uhlu empeleni luphelele.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Uma Wesaba Ukulandela Amaphupho Akho, Funda Lokhu
- Izinto eziyi-8 Iningi labantu elizithatha isikhathi sokuphila ukuze uzifunde
- Izilinganiso eziyi-15 Zokukhumbula Lapho Uzizwa Ulahlekile Ekuphileni
- Iqiniso Elibi Ngempilo Okungafuneki Umuntu Akutshele Lona
- Isizathu Sangempela Sokuba Ukwesabe Ukwehluleka (Nalokho Ongakwenza Ngalokho)
- Kungani Udinga Uhlelo Lokuzithuthukisa Lomuntu Siqu (Futhi Izinto Ezi-7 Okumele Unazo)
Ngokwami, kufanele ngimbonge ugogo wami ngokukhuthazela kwami. Ugogo wami wasuka ePoland waya eCanada lapho eseneminyaka engama-50. Akuyona into elula ukuyenza uma kunenkinga yolimi, neminyaka. Angazi abantu abaningi kakhulu abangavuma ngokuzithandela ukushiya konke futhi bathuthele kwelinye izwe ukuze baqale impilo, benze umbuthano omusha wabangane, futhi bafune umsebenzi ngenkathi bebhekene nobudala obungaba khona.
Akakwesabanga konke lokho, wabekezela, wafunda isiNgisi, wabhalisa ekolishi, futhi waba nguthisha wasenkulisa. Akavumanga lo mqondo wokuthi usemdala kakhulu ukuthi angaqala ukufunda ulimi olusha, aye ekolishi, abe nguthisha, noma enze abangane abasha, amvimbe ekuthatheni igxathu. Wenze nje.
Shesha phambili eminyakeni eminingi kamuva. Ngenkathi ngithuthela eNgilandi sengineminyaka engama-30 ubudala, futhi ngangidabula ukukhumbula ekhaya, futhi ngizizwa ngingedwa kabi, ngangivame ukucabanga ngogogo wami bese ngithi kimi, 'Uma ekwazi ukukwenza eneminyaka engama-50, nami ngingakwenza.' Ngizikhumbuze ukuthi akagcini nje ngokuba mdala, kepha ubebhekene nesikhathi esinzima kakhulu ngenxa yenkinga yokuqala yolimi.
Ngikhiphe ikhasi encwadini yakhe, ngabekezela, ngaziphonsa ekwakheni impilo ebengifuna ukuba nayo. Ngakha umbuthano omusha, obumbene wabangane, futhi ekugcineni ngathola umsebenzi emkhakheni engiwukhethile. Angizange ngikuvumele iqiniso lokuthi ngangimdala ngesikhathi ngifudukela kwelinye izwe ngedwa kungilahla emdlalweni wami. Ngikuthathe egxalabeni lami. Kwakwesabeka, kwakunzima, kodwa kwakufanele.
Ngakho-ke kungani lo muzwa wokuba phezulu kweminyaka ethile usabalele kangaka phakathi kwethu?
Inkinga ilele ngendlela iminyaka evezwa ngayo kwabezindaba. I-Ageism iyaphila futhi iphilile. Sigcwele izithombe zabantu abasha, abashisayo, abahle, abenza izinto ezinhle, futhi abaphila impilo ethokozisayo. Lapho abantu asebekhulile benza izinto ezimangazayo sibuka sibambe umlomo omncane ukuthi benze okuthile. Asivamile ukugubha abantu abadala njengoba kufanele bagujwe. Abezindaba bafaka impumelelo yabo ebusheni, noma babaphe njengamatshe ayigugu angavamile angajwayelekile.
Nansi into - lokho kungamanga. Thina “singabantu abajwayelekile,” izigaxa, izigaxa, imibimbi nakho konke, singabaningi. Leyo mizimba eshisayo, esencane (evame ukufuthwa umoya) iyingcosana. Senziwe saqiniswa ukuze sikholwe okuphambene nalokho. Sikhokhelwa ukuthi sikholwe ukuthi uma sesifikile kuleyo “minyaka yobudala” futhi sesiwele umphakathi ongacabangi osibekele wona, siba yinto engabonakali.
Yilapho kuqala khona umqondo ocashile wokuthi sifinyelele phezulu empilweni yethu, futhi lapho kumnandi khona, nokuphila impilo ephelele. Sidinga abezindaba ukuthi basukume baqale ukugubha impumelelo yabantu abadala njengokujwayelekile, hhayi njengokungahleleki. Sidinga ukugubha ukuhlakanipha nesipiliyoni, hhayi nje ukubukeka kokubukeka nentsha.
Umphakathi usuguqule iminyaka yaba yisibuko esihlupha zonke izinqumo zethu, ngokwazi, nangokuqonda. Ingabe thina kufanele? Akufanele yini? Lokho kuzongenza ngibheke kanjani iminyaka yami? Yeka ukwenza lokhu. Yeka ukuzilimaza. Akukho 'isiqongo' - kukhona namuhla. Kukhona ukukhanya kwelanga, kukhona ukuthandana, kukhona ukudabuka kwenhliziyo, ukumangala, ukuhleka, ingoma, nezinto ezingenakubalwa ongakhetha ukuzenza ngempilo yakho, noma kuhleli ekhaya futhi kuvumela impilo ukuthi idlule kuwe ngoba umuntu othile uthe umdala kakhulu ukuthi ungaze uzame.
Khetha.
Ngiyakuthola, akulula ukuhlela kabusha amazwi amabi emakhanda ethu, ukuwacisha, noma ukungawanaki ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kuthatha ukusebenza kanzima nokuzijwayeza ukusunduza lawo mazwi phansi, kepha kwenze.
Sonke siyakhula, akunakugwemeka ukuthi sonke siyoba badala ngelinye ilanga. Ngeke sibe neminyaka engama-25 ingunaphakade. Ngakho-ke kungani siphikelela ekutheni sizibambe sibe sezingeni elingenakwenzeka impilo yethu yonke? Ukhiye uku qhubeka wenze okwenzayo uma ukujabulela, futhi vumela ama-naysayers afiphele ngemuva.
Khumbula: impilo ikhuphuke kuphela uma uyakholwa ine.
Ingabe lokhu kuyazwelana nawe? Uke wabahlambalaza abagxeki nabangabazayo - ngaphakathi nangaphandle - walandela iphupho noma umgomo owedlule iminyaka “ephakeme” umphakathi osichazela yona? Shiya amazwana ngezansi bese wabelana nabanye abafundi ngendaba yakho.
