Ukuze ufunde kabanzi nge Ngaphandle Kokuxhumana Uhlelo njengoba kuxoxwe kuvidiyo engenhla nendatshana engezansi, chofoza lapha.
Ukufunda ukuxhumana nokuzizwa uvikelekile ukuveza izidingo zakho kanye nezinto ozifunayo yizindawo ezimbili ekutholeni ukuhlukunyezwa ngokuhlukumezeka ezithatha ukuzinikela nokwenza okuningi.
Ngokuvamile, lapho isisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokweqile sakha ubudlelwano obusha, noma ngabe sothando noma ngenye indlela, bavame ukuzizwa bekhubazekile ngemicabango yokuzwela kakhulu noma yokuphendula.
Lokhu kuvame ukuholela ekushaneleni izinto phansi kombhede kanye nokufunda - futhi - ukubeka izidingo zakho, yilokho ubudlelwano bangaphambilini nomuntu obekhuluma ngenkani bakuphoqa ukuthi ukwenze.
Uma kuziwa ekwakheni imikhuba emisha ebuhlotsheni obusha, ukwesaba ukuxhumana nokuzichaza kaningi kuyizimpawu zokulahleka kobunikazi kanye ne-C-PTSD, zombili ezibandakanya impendulo enesimo sokugcina imicabango nemibono yakho kuwe.
Ngaphambi kokuthi singene ngaphakathi, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ngezimbangela ezingangena noma yini ubuhlobo obusha ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa ngokweqile. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izimbangela ezinjalo kungenzeka ukuthi azihlangene nawe nokuningi okuzokwenza nokuthi ngabe ngabe usebenzelana nomunye umkhohlisi.
izinto ezimnandi zokwenza ekhaya wedwa
Imvamisa, abantu bazizwa sengathi bangabandlululo, lapho kwesinye isikhathi, benziwa ngenxa yokuthi basebenzisana nomunye umuntu othanda ukuhlanekezela. Kepha, njengoba befunde ukungayinaki intuition yabo, lokhu akuveli njengefulegi elibomvu kubo.
Kepha ngenxa yale ndatshana, ngihlelile lezi zithiyo ezimbili, ukulahleka kobunikazi kanye ne-C-PTSD, zaba izigaba ezimbili ukufeza inhloso eyodwa: Funda ukuthi ungakuthola kanjani ukuxhumana okunempilo ngemuva kobudlelwano obuyisidina.
Ake siwele isithiyo ngasinye nokuthi senzeni.
1. Ukulahleka Kokuzazisa Ngemuva Kokuhlukunyezwa KwamaNarcissistic
Ukulahleka kobunikazi akunakugwenywa ngemuva kokuba ebudlelwaneni bokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo nokukhohlisa.
Abantu bavame ukuqhathanisa ukuhlala ne-narcissist nokuhlala enkolweni - kepha ngokuzihlukanisa ngokwengeziwe.
abantu abacabanga ukuthi bazi konke
Enkolweni ethile, unamaqabane esikanye nawo abelana ngesipiliyoni esifanayo sokuhlukunyezwa. Ngokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic, noma kunjalo, uwedwa ngokuphelele.
Njengokuhlala enkolweni, kunzima ukuqonda uhla oluphelele lokulahleka kobunikazi kuze kube yilapho ushiye ubudlelwano obuyingozi ngokuphelele.
Ukulawulwa kwe-narcissist emicabangweni yalabo ababhekiswe kukho kwesinye isikhathi kucashile, kunzima, futhi kugxilwe ngokujulile ukuthi osindile ulwela ukuphatha impilo yedwa ngemuva kokuthi eqale ukululama.
Ngibeke ndawonye izibonelo ezithile zobunzima bokuzisiza ukuze ngikusize ukwazi ukuthi ngabe uhlangabezana nokulahleka kobunikazi ukuze uqale ukuzimba wena.
AbakwaNarcissist Bakwenza Kanjani Ukulahleka Kokuzazisa Ukukuphatha Nokukulawula
Ngakho-ke, ungawubona kanjani umehluko phakathi kwethonya elinempilo nokukhohlisa kwengqondo? Yebo, akuvamile ukuba sobala.
AbakwaNarcissist abafuni ukuthi ubacabangele wena , bafuna ucabange yabo .
I-narcissist inezinsizakusebenza eziningana ebhokisini labo lamathuluzi lokufeza le nhloso.
- Ukuhlukumezeka kwe-Trauma: Ama-Rollercoasters wokulwa okungapheli (uhlale ungumuntu omubi, kunjalo) nezikhathi ezidlulayo zobubele bokuzenzela ukuze kuqiniswe isibopho esisekelwe ekuhlukumezeni. Ngaphandle kwemithwalo yemfanelo enjengezingane nezikweletu, lezi zikhathi ezimfushane zothando olubonakalayo yizo ezikwenza ungashiyi.
- Uzwela Lokuqonda: Ukuzwelana nawe ngenhloso yokulawula imicabango yakho. Lokhu kuzwelana ngaphandle kwesihawu kuyinto edingekayo yokuhlukunyezwa. (Funda i-athikili yami ephelele ngalokhu: Ikuhlukumeza Kanjani I-Narcissist Usebenzisa Uzwela Lokuqonda )
- Ukubeka Icala Nokungabi Lutho: Uma uzama ukubeka umbono - ngisho nasezintweni ezinobungozi ezifana nezingubo - uyiphutha. Futhi noma ngabe awunaphutha, isenzo nje sokuba nombono sizocasula umuntu osebenzisa izinto zobuciko. Lokhu kukuholela ekutheni ukholwe ukuthi imicabango yakho ayilungile futhi kufanele ulalele umuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist ukuze akuqondise.
Ukulahleka okuphelele kobunikazi akwenzeki ngobusuku obubodwa. Kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, i-narcissist isebenzisa kancane kancane lawa maqhinga ukuze isuse kancane ekuboneni kwakho wena nezwe elikuzungezile.
Izimpawu Zenkinga Yesazisi Ezi-7 Ezikhombisa Ukuthi Uhlushwa Ukulahleka Kokuzazisa Ezandleni Ze-Narcissist
I-narcissist izokwenza konke okusemandleni ukususa yonke imibono, yonke imibono, yonke imicabango onayo uze ufinyelele ekulahlekelweni okuphelele kobunikazi. Uba isandiso sabo.
Lezi zimpawu zenkinga yobunikazi zingakusiza ukukhomba uma ngabe ubhekene nokulahleka kobunikazi ezandleni zombulali.
- Wena kunzima ukukhuluma ngawe ngaphandle kwamalebula angenasisekelo asetshenziswe kuwe ngumqaphi.
- Uzizwa sengathi impilo yakho ayinayo injongo yangempela noma ugqozi - kepha awukholwa ukuthi uzifanele izinto ezinjalo.
- Ngaphambi kokwenza noma isiphi isinqumo, uyazibuza uyaziphendula ukuthi uthini umbalisi noma ngifuna usho.
- Wena uzizwe uthukile noma ungakhululeki uma ungekho kusuka ku-narcissist - kuthiwani uma wenza noma usho okuthile akulungile ?
- Uzizwa sengathi uwena ophila ngokuzimela . Ube ngumuntu obukele nje empilweni yakho.
- Awuzicabangi njengo- kushintshiwe Umuntu kepha uqobo ngokuphelele umuntu ohlukile. Wena ungamazi umuntu owawunguye futhi ungazizwa unamahloni ngesiqu sakho sakudala 'esikhululekile'.
- Wena gxila kakhulu ekubukekeni kwakho ngoba i-narcissist ikuphoqa ukuthi uye noma ukuphela kwengxenye yakho ebonakalayo ongazi ukuthi ikhona ngaphandle kokungabaza.
Lezi zimpawu azilona uhlu olugcwele lwezibonelo zokulahleka kobunikazi, kepha kufanele zikunikeze umbono omuhle uma uhlushwa yikho.
ikani le-whoopass elibandayo
Uma uhlangabezana nanoma yiziphi izimpawu zenkinga yobunikazi, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi isenzo esiphefumulelwe ukuphela kwendlela yokubuyisa ubunikazi bakho obulahlekile.
Manje, ake sixoxe ngokuthi i-C-PTSD ingadala kanjani izinkinga ngokuxhumana okusebenzayo nokuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Indlela Yedwala Elimpunga Yokusebenzelana Nombhali WamaNarcissist Lapho kungekho Oxhumana Naye Akuyona Inketho
- Izingwegwe ezi-5 Ezisetshenziswa AmaNarcissist Ukugcina Ubuya
- AbakwaLimi AbakwaNarcissist Basebenzisa Ukuphatha Nokuhlukumeza Abahlukunyeziwe
- Ukukhanyisa ngegesi: Izibonelo ezingama-22 zalesi Senzo Sokuhlukumeza Ngesihluku ck
- Izimpawu Ezi-6 Osebenza Nazo Narcissist Elingene (Kepha Kusenjalo I-Narcissist)
- Ungabhekana Kanjani Ne-Narcissist: Ukuphela Kwendlela Okuqinisekisiwe Ukusebenza
2. C-PTSD
Izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokweqile ngokuvamile zishiya ubudlelwano bazo obuyingozi ne-C-PTSD. Lesi sichazamazwi simele iComplex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder futhi saziwa nangokuthi iNarcissistic Abuse Syndrome.
Ngenkathi i-PTSD ibangelwa ukuhlangabezana nomcimbi ocindezelayo omubi, imiphumela ye-C-PTSD isuka ekuhlukumezeni okungapheli kwengqondo ngaphakathi kwendawo lapho isisulu sikholwa ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukubaleka. Kukhona umuzwa obonakalayo wokungabi nalusizo futhi umuzwa womuntu uqobo uyaqedwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ake sithi uJudy usebudlelwaneni neNarcissist. Ngenxa yokusaphazeka kwengqondo, ukuwohloka kobungane bakhe, nokuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi njalo, manje ukholwa ukuthi akanalutho futhi akekho omunye umuntu ongaba nentshisekelo ngaye.
Ngokwengeziwe, amahlandla amabili okugcina lapho azama ukuhamba khona, wahlaselwa, wahlukunyezwa futhi wesatshiswa waze wabuya. Engqondweni yakhe, akukho ukuphunyula. Uhlangabezana ne-C-PTSD.
Ukushiywa kungalashwa, i-C-PTSD ingaholela kwezinye izimpawu nezimo ezithinta zonke izindawo zokuphila. Lokhu kufaka phakathi:
- Ukungakwazi ukuphatha ukucindezeleka
- Izinkinga zokudla
- Izidakamizwa notshwala
- Ubudlelwano obonakele nabanye
- Umbono ongemuhle ngempilo
- Ukucindezeleka
- Ukuzikhubazeka Okukhubazekile
- Ukwethuka kuba yisimo sakho semizwa esiyisisekelo
- Ukuphelelwa ngumsebenzi nokulahlekelwa yisifiso sokukhiqiza
Ukuphulukiswa Kokuhlonza Ubunikazi Nokuthola Amakhono Okuxhumana Okunempilo Ngemuva Kokuhlukunyezwa KwamaNarcissistic
Njengombhali we-narcissist asuse kancane ubunikazi bakho, ukuphulukisa isithombe sakho nokubuyisa amakhono akho wokuxhumana kuyinqubo ehamba kancane futhi eqhubekayo. Faka lawa maphuzu isu lakho lokuphulukisa ekulahlekelweni kobunikazi.
Zizungeze nabantu abasekelayo.
Buyela emuva kubantu abakwa-narcissist baphoqa ukuthi ubasuse kude - bazoqonda. Iningi lizoqinisekisa isipiliyoni sakho futhi ungamunca izici zabo zobuntu ngendlela enempilo.
ngubani ovotelwa ngu-dwayne johnson
Yenza okuthile umeluleki washo njalo ukuthi ngeke ukwazi.
Mhlawumbe lokhu kuwukuzilibazisa, umsebenzi wokuziphilisa, noma okuthile okade ufuna ukukuzwa. Yenza okuthile ngoba ingane yakho yangaphakathi ifuna ukuphuma.
Umbulali uye wakubamba isikhathi eside. Isikhathi sokuphila ngokwemibandela yakho. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi ungenzi isenzo ngaphandle kokuphikisana.
Hambisa kancane.
Ekuqaleni, ungaba nobunzima bokuxhumana nabanye abantu futhi uzenzele izinqumo. Kulungile ukungazi konke ngawe okwamanje. Konke lokhu kuyingxenye yokwelashwa kusuka ekulahlekelweni kobunikazi.
Uma ushesha kakhulu, ungahle ungene kwesinye isimo esinobuthi noma uphendukele kumathuluzi okubhekana nempilo angenampilo.
Setha imingcele futhi ume umhlabathi wakho.
Kunenqwaba yama-narcissist nabanye abantu abahlukumezayo laphaya. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi imingcele yakho ikuphi futhi unamathele kuyo.
Ngabe uzowuthola kuphi umugqa phakathi kobudlelwano obunempilo nokulahlekelwa wubuyena? Kuthiwani ngokuqonda phakathi kwezeluleko ezakhayo nokugxeka okuhlukumezayo?
Joyina uhlelo lokwakha kabusha ubunikazi bakho.
Ukwakha kabusha impilo yakho kanye nokuzazi kwakho kwangaphakathi ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kungazizwa kukhulu futhi kusabisa. Kodwa akudingeki kube njalo.
I-Beyond No Contact iyinkambo yesinyathelo nesinyathelo nomphakathi lapho uzofunda khona amasu okuphulukisa aphumelela kakhulu namasu amasha empilo, ukuze ukwazi ukuqala ukuphila impilo obekufanele uyiphile, uphinde ubuyise amandla akho okuxhumana ngempumelelo.
Lapho ekugcineni ungahambi 'ungaxhumani' futhi uzisuse ekuhlukunyezweni yi-narcissist, uzozizwa ungakhululekile.
yiziphi izinto ezinhle ongakhuluma ngazo
I-narcissist ikulawule ukuze uthembele ekwamukelweni kwabo, imizwa yabo, kanye nenhlalakahle yakho isikhathi eside kangangoba ukuphilisa isithombe sakho kuzozizwa kunobugovu futhi akuyona imvelo.
Akunjalo. Ukuphulukiswa ekulahlekelweni kobunikazi kungenzeka futhi kudingekile ngokuphelele ukuze uzikhulule kumnikazi we-narcissist unomphela.
Inothi elisheshayo elivela kuSteve, umsunguli nomhleli we-A Conscious Rethink: Ngisebenze noKim iminyaka eminingana futhi ngidlulisele abantu abaningi ezinhlelweni zakhe. Ngingamncoma kakhulu njengomunye wothisha abanolwazi kakhulu esikhaleni sokubuyiselwa kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic. Uma uzizwa sengathi udinga usizo oluthe xaxa endleleni yakho yokululama, ungazami ukujoyina olunye lwezinhlelo zakhe ezimbili: Beyond No Contact kanye neThe Essential Break Free Bootcamp. Zizoshintsha impilo yakho.
Leli khasi liqukethe izixhumanisi ezihambisanayo. Ngithola ikhomishini encane uma ukhetha ukuthenga noma yiziphi izinhlelo zikaKim, kepha lokhu akunakuthinta nakancane ukuncoma kwami.
