Okuwukuphela kwakhe Uhlelo lokutakula ukuhlukunyezwa uzodinga njalo.
Unentshisekelo? Chofoza -> Yebo / Cha.
Ngokuvamile, ama-narcissists akubona abantu okufanele ufune ukuzihlanganisa nabo.
Noma ngubani okwenzayo kungenzeka ukuthi alondoloze ukulimala okungokomzwelo - futhi kwesinye isikhathi ngokomzimba - abangaze balulame ngokuphelele kukho.
Ungahle ungakuqapheli, kepha iNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) empeleni ukuxilongwa okujwayelekile.
Ucwaningo luka-2008 e-US yabantu abadala abangaphezu kwama-34,000, baphetha ngokuthi abaningi abangafika ku-6.2% wabantu abadala banenkinga yalesi sifo.
nginesithukuthezi kakhulu ngempilo yami
Njengoba i-narcissism yande kangaka emphakathini, kunethuba elihle lokuthi uke wahlangabezana noyedwa noma abaningi empilweni yakho (nokuthi uzohlangana nokuningi ngokuzayo).
Ungahle ungakwazi ukuwabona ngaso sonke isikhathi, noma kunjalo, ngenxa yekhono labo lokukwazi ukufihla izici ezimbi kakhulu zobuntu babo .
Bavame ukuhlangana nabantu abathandekayo nabanobungane.
Uma kushiwo lokho, lapho usuthole ubudlwangudlwangu kumuntu oyedwa, futhi uzibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe, kunendlela eyodwa kuphela yomlilo yokuvimbela noma yikuphi ukulimala ohlangothini lwakho.
Uma ufuna ukugwema ukuxakaniseka nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist uma ufuna ukuvika ukulimala kwengqondo, okungokomzwelo, nokungokomzimba okuvela ekusebenzelaneni nenye, lapho-ke awunakho okunye ongakwenza ngaphandle kokwenqaba ukuhlanganyela nabo kunoma yiliphi izinga.
Ukuphinda leli phuzu elibalulekile: okuwukuphela kwendlela yokubhekana ngempumelelo ne-narcissist ukungazisebenzisi nhlobo.
Kufanele ubeke ibanga elide ngangokunokwenzeka phakathi kwabo nawe uma ufuna ukuvimbela ithonya labo lobubi ekungeneni empilweni yakho.
Kufanele unqamule konke ukuxhumana, umise konke ukuxhumana, futhi ususe izindlela eziningi (mhlawumbe zonke) ezingadlula ezindleleni zakho.
Kungazwakala njengesixazululo esingeqile, ikakhulukazi uma ungakaboni ubuningi obugcwele bokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic, kepha ayikho enye indlela eqinisekisiwe yokuholela enkululekweni yakho ekulawulweni kwabo.
Nazi izizathu ezimbili eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani ukuvinjelwa okuphelele nokuphelele kudingekile lapho usebenza nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist.
Umlutha Wokunikezwa KweNarcissistic
AmaNarcissist adla ngemizwa yabanye ayakhula aqine ngokwenza abanye bazizwe bebuthakathaka.
Kubo, okuwukuphela kwento ebaluleke ngempela ukuzanelisa kwabo, futhi enye yezindlela ezilula zokuthola lokhu ukwehlisa isithunzi noma yikuphi okungahambisani nendlela yabo.
Noma ngabe yibuphi ubudlelwano obungahle bube yibo - obothando, obomndeni, osebenza nabo, noma ojwayelene nabo nje - umuntu osebenzisa izihlukumezi uzofuna ukukulawula futhi akuphathe ukuze aqinise umbono omkhulu abanawo ngabo.
Kubo, awuyilutho nje lokunaka, ukudumisa nokudumisa.
Bakudinga ukuthi ubanikeze lezi zinto ukuze baqhubeke nokuxhasa umoya wabo wokuzikhukhumeza, wamanga.
Ngenye indlela, uma kungaqhamuki ukuqiniswa okuhle, abakwa-narcissists nabo bazokuxazulula ngenjabulo ukungqubuzana ngoba nakho kubanikeza ukugqama abakufisayo.
Izimpikiswano nokungavumelani kunikeza umthengisi wezobuciko amathuba okukhohlisa enza abanye abantu babe sengozini yokukholisa futhi babe namathuba amaningi okwenza izinto abebengeke bazenze ngenye indlela.
Uma i-narcissist ingalawula umphikisi wayo ukuthi enze noma asho okuthile, kunika amandla inkolelo abanayo kubo njengabantu abanamandla nabakhulu.
kufanele kuthathe isikhathi esingakanani ukuthandana
Noma ngabe iyiphi indlela efinyelelwe ngayo, ukunakwa kungumthombo oyinhloko wokunikezwa kwe-narcissistic futhi lowo i-narcissist okufanele ibe nayo njalo uma izosebenza.
Njengoba uMelanie Tonia Evans akubeka kuye i-athikili enhle kakhulu ekunikezelweni kwe-narcissistic :
Kalula nje, ukunikezwa kwe-narcissistic kungamandla - ukunakwa. Ukwazi ukuthi, 'Uma ngingathola ukunakwa kuwe, kungivumela ukuthi ngazi ukuthi ngikhona.'
Lona kanye igama elithi 'narcissist supply' lisikisela ngezici zalo zokulutha futhi akunzima ukubona ukufana phakathi kwalo nesidingo sezidakamizwa notshwala kulabo abahlukunyezwa yizidakamizwa.
Ngempela, isifundo esixhunywe ngenhla sibhekisa ezingeni lokuhlangana phakathi kwe-NPD nokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa.
Kusho ukuthini lokhu? Kuma-narcissist, wena nokunakwa okunikezayo kuyalutha kumele bathole 'ukulungiswa' njalo ukuze kusuthise ukuzidla kwabo.
Ngaphandle kwayo, bazolwela ukugcina isithombe sabo sangaphandle esenziwe ngokucophelela.
Lokhu kufana kakhulu nomuntu onomlutha wezidakamizwa ongasebenza kahle ngokuphelele lapho esethole umthamo, kepha ahluleke ngokuzibamba.
Uma uqhubeka ubanikeza abakufunayo, bazoqhubeka nokukuthoba ngaphansi kwezidingo nezifiso zabo.
Inqobo nje uma ungumthombo osebenzayo wokuhlinzeka, bazoqhubeka nokulokhu bebuya ukuze bathole ukushaya kwabo.
Kungakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uyeke zonke izinhlobo zokuxhumana ukuze ugqashule kumuntu obiza ngama-narcissist.
Ungumuthi ogcina umuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa eqhubeka, kepha uma uyeka ukuzinikela ukuze usetshenziswe, bazophoqeleka ukuthi bafune kwenye indawo.
Slip up nganoma iyiphi indlela, noma kunjalo, futhi ngokuzumayo uzothola ukuthi i-narcissist izokwenza xhumanisa izinzipho zazo ngaphakathi ngaphandle komcabango wesikhashana.
Kungafana nesidakwa esihlale iminyaka eminingi singasanguluki sithathe isigaxa sevodka - isifiso sokuthatha esinye sikhulisa ngokuzumayo emiqondweni yabo.
Kumele uhambe u-turkey obandayo kusuka ku-narcissist.
Kufanele ususe yonke iminonjana yazo empilweni yakho nakuwe.
Kufanele wephule umjikelezo wokufunwa nokunikezwa okwakha ukuphela kwesibopho sangempela owake wabelana ngaso.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- AbakwaLimi AbakwaNarcissist Basebenzisa Ukuphatha Nokuhlukumeza Abahlukunyeziwe
- Izindlela Zokubhekana Nesimo Lapho Ushiya Umlingani We-Narcissistic Ngemuva
- Ukuqinisekiswa Kwempilo Kwezisulu Zokuhlukunyezwa KwamaNarcissistic
- Uthando Lokuqhuma Amabhomu: Isibonakaliso Sesexwayiso Sokuqala sokuthi Uthandana Nomuntu OyiNarcissist
- Ungayilimaza Kanjani i-Narcissist
- Izimpawu Ezingu-12 Osebenza Nombhali Wama-Narcissist Onobungozi
Ukwehluleka Kwe-Narcissist Ukushintsha
Masibe sobala: i-narcissism ukuphazamiseka kobuntu hhayi ukugula kwengqondo.
Ngoba akubangelwa ukungalingani kwamakhemikhali ngendlela okuthi, sithi, ukudana, akunakwelashwa - okungenani hhayi ngempumelelo - ngezidakamizwa.
I-narcissism yenzeka ngenxa yezakhiwo zobuchopho eziguqukile ezakha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengempendulo yemicimbi kanye nesikhuthazi.
Ukuxhumana okuhambelana nokuthambekela kwe-narcissistic kukhula ngamandla ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba kuqiniswa ngokuhlinzekwa kwe-narcissistic, ngakho-ke isimo kunzima kakhulu ukusiguqula.
Kunezibonakaliso ezinqunyelwe zokuthi izindlela zokwelapha ezinjengeCognitive Behavioural Therapy zingasiza ekwehliseni isidingo sokubonisa izici zobudlova, kepha kukhona ambalwa, uma akhona, amacala abhalwe phansi ama-narcissists anqoba isimo sawo.
Lokhu yikho kanye ukuthi kungani kufanele wenze ikhefu elihlanzekile kusuka kunoma imaphi ama-narcissists ohlangana nawo.
Ukuziphatha kwabo kweqiniso (hhayi lokho abakudlulisa njengokuzikhohlisa kwabo) mancane amathuba okuthi kuguquke futhi akufanele ulindele ukuthi kwenzeke.
Umuntu osebenzisa izihlukumezi uzohlala eyi-narcissist kuze kube usuku lokufa kwakhe ngoba nje abakwazi ukubona noma yini engalungile ngalokho abakwenzayo.
Abanawo amandla adingekayo okuzihlola nokuzicabangela bona ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo akulona izinga futhi akwamukelekile.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma unohlobo oluthile lokholo ongathi ngandlela thile ukwazi ukusiza ushintsho lwe-narcissist, wenza iphutha.
izinto zothando ongazenzela isoka lakho ngosuku lwalo lokuzalwa
Indima yakho embukisweni wonke ayilutho ngaphandle kokuphakela.
I-narcissist ikwazi ukuguquka kuphela lapho ikwazi ukuzibheka ngokombono wangaphandle, futhi leli khono lokubheka njengomuntu wesithathu lingaphezu kwamandla abo okuqonda.
Kufanele futhi ubheke ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthi isifiso sakho sokubasiza asigxilile ekuziphatheni kwabo, kepha kubuntu bakho kanye nezidingo zakho.
Ingxoxo enjalo ingaphezu kokuxolelwa yile ndatshana, kepha kwanele ukusho ukuthi ungadonswa kuma-narcissists cishe njengoba enjalo kuwe. Esinye nje isizathu sokuziqhelelanisa nabo.
Kungani Ukuqedela Ukusebenza Kusebenza
Kuze kube manje sikhulume ngezizathu ezimbili ezibalulekile zokuthi kungani kufanele unqume umuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist empilweni yakho ngokuphelele, kepha kungani kusebenza kangaka?
Impendulo ilula futhi ibuya ekuqhathaniseni phakathi komuntu wezidakamizwa ofuna ukunikezwa kwakhe nomlutha ofuna okwabo.
Uma uyeka ukuba ngumthombo wokuphakelwa, umthengisi wezidakamizwa ngeke abe nenye indlela ngaphandle kokuyibheka kwenye indawo ngoba abazimisele ukufaka engcupheni yokuhoxa isikhathi eside kakhulu.
Kuyisimo esidabukisayo sezindaba, kepha kungenzeka ukuthi, uma ubaphika abakudingayo, umthengisi wezidakamizwa uzophoqeleka ukuthi athole umuntu noma enye into ezobahlinzeka ngayo.
Ngenkathi bengazama kaninginingi, ukukuyenga ubuyele emthonjeni wokuhlinzeka, ekugcineni bazofuna ukukudicilela phansi ezingqondweni zabo bese bedlulela kokuhlosiwe okuzimisele ngokwengeziwe.
Kuma-narcissist, umthombo owodwa uvame ukufana nomunye, kepha ukusindisa ubuso, bazoziqinisekisa ukuthi ubungafanele ekuqaleni ukuthi bafanelwe kangcono.
Ngeke ube ngaphezu kwebala enkumbulweni yabo, ngeke ube namphumela futhi ungabi nasithakazelo (ngaphandle kokuthi okuthile kubangele izifiso zabo kuwe futhi, njengokuhlangana nethuba).
Ngokuvamile-ke, uma ungakwazi ukumelana nemizamo yabo yokuqala yokukubuyisela njengomthombo wokuhlinzekwa, umthengisi wezobuchwepheshe uzobhoreka futhi aqhubeke.
Akukho Lutho Lokuphatheka Kabi
Abanye abantu bangaphikisa ukuthi le ndlela eqinile, uqobo lwayo, iyindlela yokuziphatha enolaka nokuthi ijezisa owe-narcissist ngokuba njengoba enjalo, noma ngabe lokhu bekungekhona ukukhetha abakwenza ngokuqaphela.
Mhlawumbe, ngaphezulu, kuneqiniso elincane kulokhu. Ukusika bonke ubudlelwano nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, okungenani okwesikhashana, kungababangela ibanga elithile lobuhlungu.
Lobuhlungu, noma kunjalo, abukho ngaphezu kokuhoxa kokunikezwa kwe-narcissistic okunikezile.
Le ndlela yokubhekana ne-narcissist ekugcineni ukwamukelwa okugcwele futhi okuphelele kokuthi bangobani nokuthi bayini.
Akufuni ukufaka ushukela iqiniso noma ukubekela noma ngubani izaba - kumane kusebenza njengendlela ephumelela kunazo zonke yokuqeda izinto.
Futhi akufanele ukudide lokhu ngokubalekela izinkinga zakho.
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi ukubhekana nezinkinga zakho kuyindlela engcono yokuzixazulula, kepha esimweni sokuphatha umuntu osebenzisa izihibe, inkinga akuyona eyakho ukunqoba eyabo.
Awukwazi nakancane ukubhekana nezinkinga ngakho-ke akufanele uzizwe unecala ngokuzibalekela.
kwenzekeni ku-shawn michaels eye
Ekupheleni kosuku, i-narcissist ayisiye umngane onempilo kunoma ngubani, futhi into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuzama ukubasusa empilweni yakho bese uqhubeka.
Uma, nganoma yisiphi isizathu, ukungathintani akuyona inketho esebenzayo (mhlawumbe unezingane nabo, noma bangabaphathi bakho), zama ukusebenzisa Indlela yeGrey Rock ukubhekana nabo ngendlela ezokubeka engcupheni yokulimala.
Bheka lokhu inkambo eku-inthanethi yakhelwe ukusiza othile welapha ekuhlukunyezweni ngokweqile .
Chofoza lapha ukuze ufunde kabanzi.
Leli khasi liqukethe izixhumanisi ezihambisanayo. Ngithola ikhomishini encane uma ukhetha ukuthenga noma yini ngemuva kokuchofoza kuzo.
