Emiphakathini yokuqala yokuqomisana, futhi phakathi nalawo masonto okuqala obudlelwano, kunezimpawu ezithile okufanele wazi ngazo ezingakhombisa ukuthi omunye umuntu ungumqaphi.
Igama elibanzi elisetshenziselwa ukuchaza izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokuziphatha lithi 'love bombing' futhi ngokuqonda ukuthi kuyini, uzobe uhlonyiselwe kangcono ukubona isidlakela se-narcissistic ngaphambi kokuba bakudonsele ogibeni lwabo.
Uthando lokuqhuma ibhomu umzamo wokusheshisa ukuzalwa nokukhula kwemizwa ngaphakathi kwesisulu ngokwakha umoya ojulile wothando nokukhuleka. Idizayinelwe ukukhubaza ukuqashwa kwemvelo komuntu ukuze bangangabazi ukuqondiswa nokushesha kobudlelwano.
okufanele ukwenze uma ngingenabo abangane
Ukwenza lokhu ngokungeza izinto ze- ukudideka, ukuthopha, ukuthembela, nomoya we ikusasa ekuxubeni.
Ukudideka Kwenzeka ngenxa yenani elikhulu lokuxhumana elenzeka phakathi kokuthumelelana imiyalezo ngokungapheli, ukushayelana izingcingo njalo, ukuxhumana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, kanye nesifiso esinamandla sokuhlangana mathupha kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka.
Kungazizwa kukhungathekisa kakhulu ukuthola ibhomu elinjalo, elenzelwe ukukhombisa isisulu ngesibopho esiyingqayizivele nesikhethekile abanaso ne-narcissist.
Njengoba engakaze abhekane nanoma yini efana nayo phambilini, isisulu sizoqala ukukholelwa ukuthi lokhu kuyinto ekhethekile, into enhle, ezothando njengoba uzibona kumabhayisikobho - isivunguvungu senjabulo, esijabulisayo nesabisayo.
Ukubamba ikhona cishe kukho konke ukuqomisana, kepha esimweni sokuqhuma kwamabhomu, kudlulela kwelinye ibanga. Konke ukuxhumana kufanele kufake izincomo eziningi zokuheha isisulu futhi kunikeze into enhle engenakuphikiswa abazokuthola kunzima ukuyinikela.
Lapho isisulu sizwa njalo ukuthi lihle kanjani, lihle, futhi liphelele kanjani elinye iqembu licabanga ukuthi linjalo, kunika umuzwa walo umfutho wangempela futhi kubangele ushintsho lomzimba nolwamakhemikhali ebuchosheni babo. Lokhu kusiza ekuqiniseni ukuheha kwabo kumuntu osebenzisa izinto zobuciko.
Imvamisa isisulu kuzoba umuntu ohlushwa ukuzethemba okuphansi (okuqondiwe kahle ngumuntu obanga izinto ezingekho emthethweni) ngakho-ke ukunconywa ngale ndlela kungazizwa kungeyona imvelo kubo - noma kuyimbumbulu - kepha bazobanjwa kakhulu ukuze babone inhloso yangempela yawo wonke amagama anomusa.
Ukuncika kuyinto umbalisi wezinto ezivame ukuzama ukwethula amasonto ambalwa nje esenzweni sokuthandana. Yize bekulesi sigaba sombungu, bazoqala ukumemezela ukuthi baqiniseke kangakanani ngobudlelwano, ukuthi bakuthokozela kangakanani ukuchitha isikhathi nesisulu, nokuthi banjani ukuthandana nabo.
okufanele ukwenze lapho impilo iba yisicefe
Bacindezela isisulu ngemizwa yabo ukuzama ukuthi baphindisele isimemezelo sothando nothando. Benza lokhu ukudida kakhulu isisulu ngendlela abazizwa ngayo ngokweqiniso.
Baqala ukushwabadela isikhathi namandla esesisulu - sibavimbela ukuthi babone abanye abantu kaningi. Lokhu kuhlukaniswa kungaphawulwa ngabangani nomndeni walowo ohlukumezekile, kepha kuvamise ukuthi kususwe njengenkanuko yisisulu uqobo.
Ngokulawula ukufinyelela othandweni nasothandweni, umbulali angazibeka esimweni sokubaluleka okukhulu. Njengoba ukuxhumana nabanye kuncipha, okuwukuphela komthombo wemfudumalo nothando olutholakalela isisulu kuvela kumlingani wabo abasanda kumthola.
Uma lokhu kuqhubeka isikhathi eside, kuya ngokujula ngaphansi kwesipelingi ekugcineni baqala ukubona umlingisi wezinto njengomuntu abangakwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe.
Ukufunda okubaluleke kakhulu kwe-narcissist (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- AbakwaLimi AbakwaNarcissist Basebenzisa Ukuphatha Nokuhlukumeza Abahlukunyeziwe
- Ungayilimaza Kanjani i-Narcissist
- Izindlela Zokubhekana Nesimo Lapho Ushiya Umlingani We-Narcissistic Ngemuva
- AmaMaski ayisi-6 amaNarcissist angagqoka (nokuthi ungawabeka kanjani)
- Ukuthi Ukukhohlakala Kobukhulu BamaNarcissist Kubavimba Kanjani Ekukuthandeni
- ICovert Narcissist: Izinhlobo Ezinamahloni, Ezingenisiwe Zingaba Narcissists Kanjani
Isiphetho unqanda ufisa ukuveza kanjani ubudlelwano. Besebenzisa imishwana enjengokuthi 'Angikaze ngizizwe ngale ndlela nganoma ngubani ngaphambilini' nokuthi 'Angikholwa ukuthi sitholene,' badweba isithombe ukuthi lokhu bekufanele kube yikho.
Isisulu, izingqondo zabo zigcwele ukudideka, asikwazi ukuhlola ngempela inani kulezi zitatimende. Bagcina ngokubathatha ngokobuso babo futhi lokhu kukhulisa imizwa yabo kuphela komunye umuntu.
Ekugcineni nabo, baqala ukukholelwa ukuthi ukuhlangana kwabo bekungukuhlelwa. Abakwazi nje ukuhlobanisa isipiliyoni sabo samanje nanoma yini evela endulo - lokhu kumele kusho ukuthi uthando, akunjalo? Yini enye engaba yiyo?
Ngala mathuluzi amane, umthengisi wezidakamizwa uyakwazi ukupakisha ukubopha kothando okungabiza izinyanga esikhathini samasonto ambalwa nje. Bangasheshisa ngempumelelo inqubo ejwayelekile yobudlelwano futhi beqe ingxenye lapho isisulu sabo singama khona sizibuze ukuthi ngabe yilokhu abakufunayo ngempela yini.
Esikhundleni salokho, ngenxa yokuthi umculi we-narcissist uzimisele kangakanani, futhi bakholelwa ukuthi babazi kangakanani, isisulu sibheka lokhu kuhlolwa okujwayelekile.
Ngokuphazima kweso, futhi cishe ngaphezu kwamandla omuntu ohlukunyezwayo, umuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa uphumelele ukuguqula izinsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala zaba ubuhlobo obubucayi, obugcwele igazi, obukhulu ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo.
Baphuphuthekise umlingani wabo oneshwa ngamanga, ukuncoma okungamanga, imizwa engakaze ibe khona, nezinganekwane zekusasa elijabulisayo nelithelayo ndawonye.
Uthando Lwamabhomu Ngemuva Kokuhlukana
Leli qhinga alisetshenziswanga kuphela ngama-narcissists ngesikhathi sokuqala kobudlelwano futhi kujwayelekile ngemuva kokuhlukana.
kanjani ukugxila okwamanje
Ngenkathi ukwahlukana kungenzeka ukuthi kwakubandakanyeke kakhulu ekuziphatheni okunenzondo nokunamandla, lapho umuntu osebenzisa izihlukumezi ezimisele ngokuvuselela ubudlelwano, bazophinde bavule intelezi futhi basebenzise amabhomu othando ukubuyisa i-ex yabo.
Le ndlela ngeke iguqule okuningi - amabhomu amaningi emibhalo, izingcingo, izincwadi, ama-imeyili, imiyalezo yezokuxhumana, kanye nanoma yiziphi ezinye izindlela zokuxhumana abangazicabanga.
Bazokhuluma ngothando lwabo olungapheli ngesisulu sabo bese bethi konke okwenzekile akufanele kuphike ikusasa lalobu budlelwano - ukuthi bekuyinto nje esendleleni abaqonde ukuhamba ngayo ndawonye.
Ukuthopha, okuzobe sekuvame ukwedlula lapho ubudlelwano buqhubeka, kuzovela ebushushwini bayo ukuze izame futhi ukushaya umuzwa wesisulu.
Konke lokhu kwenzelwe ukufiphaza isimo ngokungabaza nokudideka, ukwenza isisulu siphinde sicabangele isinqumo saso futhi sithathe umlingani waso sibuyele emuva.
Enhliziyweni yalo, uthando lokuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu luyinsimbi engacacile enendlela encane ye-finesse nobuciko. Isebenzisa amandla angenangqondo nokuphikelela ukufeza inhloso yayo, kepha nalokhu futhi kuyiphutha layo elikhulu kungaba lula ukukubona uma wazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyibheke. Ngethemba ukuthi le ndatshana ikunikeze ulwazi oludingayo lokukhomba izimpawu futhi uziqhelelanise nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa ngaphambi kokuba bakwazi ukukukhohlisa ubudlelwano.
Kodwa-ke, kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi izimpawu zalolu hlobo azikhombisi ukubandakanyeka komuntu odlala izidakamizwa. Uthando lweqiniso kwesinye isikhathi lungashesha futhi lube nolaka, lungagcwala izimemezelo zokuheha nothando, futhi lungazizwa sengathi luhloselwe ukuba lube njalo. Umehluko omkhulu ukuthi uthando lweqiniso luhlangothi zombili luzizwa lulungile kubo bobabili abantu futhi kunokushoda okuhlukile kokudideka okukhona.
Uma ufuna ukufunda kabanzi ngama-narcissists nobuntu be-narcissistic, chofoza lapha ukuvakashela isigaba sethu esizinikele salesi sifo lapho uzothola khona izindatshana eziningi ezisebenzisekayo nezivula amehlo.
izinkondlo zomuntu othandekayo ongasekho
Wake wazithola usebudlelwaneni nomuntu othanda izidakamizwa? Ngabe uke waluzwa uthando lokuqhuma kwamabhomu njengoba kuchaziwe ngenhla? Shiya amazwana bese usazise incazelo yakho ngakho.
