Akukaze kube lula ukuba 'mbumbulu' kunamanje.
Ngenkambiso yethu yezinkundla zokuxhumana ze-'selfie 'kanye nezinkundla zokuxhumana zisikhuthaza ukuthi sibonise okuhamba phambili kakhulu - okuvame ukuthwebula izithombe - ngokwethu emhlabeni, kulula kakhulu ukwakha isithombe esikude nobuntu bakho bangempela.
Kunokukhathazeka okukhulayo ngokuthola ‘abalandeli’ nokwenelisa ukuthola ‘ukuthandwa.’
Impi engapheli yokuchayeka nokunakwa, enikezwa yisidingo salokho kugijimela kwe-endorphin okuluthayo lapho uthola izimpendulo ezikhuthazayo, ezinhle nezinomdlandla, ingazizwa njengomsebenzi wesikhathi esigcwele.
Kodwa-ke, wonke lo mzamo, ulahlekelwa ubuqiniso.
Ngabe lowomuntu 'ungokoqobo'?
Ngabe ungazithola zonke lezo mpendulo uma ubukhombisa ubuhlakani bakho obudala obucacile, ongakaze ajabule ukwedlula lapho uphokophela kuma-PJs, uzifaka emjahweni webhokisi?
Kepha indaba yokuba ngokoqobo nokuba neqiniso kuwe akugcini ngokukhawulelwa esithombeni osiveza ngokuthandwa yi-Insta noma i-Snapchat…
… Kuthiwani ngomfanekiso ofuna ukuwethula kubangani bakho nakubalingani bakho ubuso nobuso?
Ngabe bayakubona owangempela?
ungayikhetha kanjani indoda elungile phakathi kwababili
Noma mhlawumbe uthanda ukwethula isimo esihlukile ngokuya ngenkampani okuyo, ngokwamukela ngobuhlakani amakhono afana no-chameleon ukuze ukwazi ukungena kungakhathalekile ukuthi ukuphi nokuthi unobani.
Ngokwezinga elithile sonke sicasha ngemuva kancane, siveza uhlobo lwethu uqobo esicabanga ukuthi abanye bafuna ukuzibona futhi bafihle ubuntu bethu beqiniso.
Kunesizathu esihle salokhu. Njengoba umbhali okhuthazayo uJanet Louise Stephenson abone ngokuqonda:
Ubuqiniso budinga isilinganiso esithile sokuba sengozini, ukwenza izinto obala kanye nobuqotho.
Futhi inkinga ukuthi iningi lethu alikhululekile ngokuba sengozini noma ekusoleni futhi sizimisele ukuzidela ubuqotho ealtare lokuzivikela.
Ungahle uthande ukugqoka 'imaski' ukuzivikela ngenxa ye- ukwesaba ukwaliwa noma ungakhathazeka ngokuthi isiqu sakho sangempela asihambisani nesimo esithile noma ngandlela thile ayanele ngokwanele .
Ngakho-ke, nansi into… ukuba yiqiniso, kuyadingeka ukuthuthukisa isibindi sokubonisa ukungapheleli kwethu futhi sibe sengozini, sibe nesibindi esanele sokudedela umuntu esicabanga ukuthi kufanele sibe yikho futhi samukele ngenkuthalo lokho esiyikho ngempela.
Impela, kunezikhathi lapho ukuzivumelanisa nesimo sakho nemvelo yakho kungazuzisa, kepha ingozi ilele ekushintsheni ubuntu bakho ngokuphelele uze ulahlekelwe ukuxhumana nalokho oyikho ngempela.
Esikhundleni sokuba nguwe, uzethula njengomuntu ocabanga ukuthi uzothandwa futhi athandeke kulabo abaseduze kwakho.
Inkinga, abantu banjalo izidalwa ezinembile kakhulu futhi ingabona kalula i-fakery.
Uma abantu bebona ukuthi awuthembekile, ungahle uzwe ukwenqatshwa obukwesaba kwasekuqaleni.
Imizamo yakho yokwamukeleka nokwaziwa ngabantu empeleni ingaveza imiphumela ehlukile.
Njengoba isisho samanje sihamba:
Abanye abantu bangempela abanye abantu balungile abanye abantu bayimbumbulu. Futhi abanye abantu bakwenza kahle kakhulu ukuba mbumbulu.
Lapho sizithola sizungezwe ubuqiniso, iba ngcono i-radar yethu yokuthola ukuthambeka, ngakho-ke ngokungangabazeki uzodalulwa kungekudala.
Futhi uke waqaphela ukuthi awekho amagama asetshenziselwe ukuchaza abantu abangamaqiniso ahambisana?
Nazi ezimbalwa nje: mbumbulu, inkohliso, amanga, ukungazethembi, ukungathembeki, ukuzenzisa, ukuthinteka, ubuqili…
sitshele iqiniso elijabulisayo ngawe
Akulona uhlu lokuqagela phambili, akunjalo? Hhayi igama elihle phakathi kwabo.
Sonke sizizwa sikhululeke futhi sihlonishwa lapho sizungezwe abanye okuyibo futhi abangadlali-ukudlala ngokuba uhlobo lwesibili lwabo.
Kubukeka-ke ukuthi iseluleko esihle kakhulu akukhona ukuhweba ngobuqiniso bakho ukuze uthole ukuvunywa, noma ngabe lokho kungaheha kanjani.
Uma uzwa sengathi nguwe ophethe kakhulu ukuguqula isimo sakho ngokuya kwesimo, kungenzeka ukuthi usuvele uqaphele ukuthi lokhu kunomthelela ebunganeni bakho nasebudlelwaneni bakho.
Izindaba ezimnandi ukuthi kunezindlela ongazisebenzisa ukukusiza ukuba ube nguwe uqobo, ngisho nakulezo zimo ezingathandeki noma eziyinselele lapho ushintsho lobuntu olusheshayo lubonakala luyindlela oyithandayo.
Njengezinto eziningi, kuzothatha umsebenzi engxenyeni yakho ukwenza kabusha impendulo yakho ezenzakalelayo, kepha imiphumela ngokuzihlonipha izowufanele umzamo.
Izindlela ezi-5 Zokuba Nguwe
1. Ukuzithuthukisa kudinga ukuzazi.
Uhambo oluya kunguqulo yakho engcono futhi eyiqiniso ngokwengeziwe kufanele luqale ngokuzihlaziya okuthile, ngoba ukuzazi nokuzazi kuyizihluthulelo zokuba ‘ngeqiniso.’
Ukuthatha isikhathi uku zazi ezingeni elijule kakhulu isinyathelo esibalulekile.
Uma uzophila eyakho impilo kunokuba ube ingumbombayi yomunye umuntu, ukuqonda izindinganiso zakho kubalulekile.
Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi njengezingane, futhi njengoba sikhula, ngokwemvelo samukela imibono nemibono yalabo abasithonyayo - abazali, othisha, abangane, njll.
Kancane kancane, amanani abo aba ngawethu futhi ayingxenye ebalulekile yohlelo lwethu lwezinkolelo.
Ukuzazi kuhilela ukuhlola lezi zimiso nezinkolelo esizitholile nokubona ukuthi ziyiqiniso kithina yini, noma uma, empeleni, ziphelelwe yisikhathi noma zingasahlali kahle nomuntu omdala esesibe yikho.
Isibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi ukhulele endaweni lapho ezinye izinkolo zinganikwanga inhlonipho efanele, yingakho ngokwemvelo wamukela isikhundla esifanayo.
Kungenzeka ukuthi ukuvuthwa kushintshe umbono wakho kulolu daba futhi imibono yomndeni wakho ayiseyona eyakho.
Uma kunjalo, khona-ke ukuze ube neqiniso kuwena, udinga ukulamukela futhi uvume ilungelo lakho kumbono wakho.
Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi leyo mibono nayo ingashintsha njengoba isikhathi sihamba. Ukuzazi kuyinqubo eqhubekayo kuyo yonke impilo yakho.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Kuyini Ukuzicabangela Futhi Kuthinta Kanjani Impilo Yakho?
- Izibonelo eziyi-12 Zokuziphatha Okufuna Ukuvunyelwa (+ Ungasilahla Kanjani Isidingo Sakho Sokuqinisekiswa)
- Indlela Yokunethezeka Esikhunjeni Sakho
- Ungazitholela Kanjani: Izindlela eziyi-11 Zokuthola Ubunikazi Bakho Bangempela
- Kuyini Ukuzicabangela Futhi Kungani Kubaluleke Kangaka?
- Ungakunaki Kanjani Okucatshangwa Abantu
2. Cabanga ngokushicilela.
Ukubona izinto ngombala omnyama nomhlophe, ngisho nenqubo yangempela yokubhala phansi imicabango, kuyindlela enhle yokuthola owangempela.
Ukuzinika isikhathi sokubhala uhlu lwezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kuwe - futhi ezikhuluma nomphefumulo wakho - kungadalula kakhulu.
Njengoba ubhala, kancane kancane uzokwazi ukucacisa amanani akho ayisisekelo.
Ukukhetha ukubhala iphephabhuku ukuzibophezela okukhulu, kepha ukugcina ithrekhi yemicabango yakho njengoba ikhula kusho ukuthi ungabheka emuva ucabange ngohambo.
Ukushicilela ingasiza futhi ekuhlonzeni izitayela namaphethini angahle angabi lusizo avela empilweni yakho, lapho ungazithola usushiya uqobo lwakho lwangempela.
wazi kanjani uma enye intombazane ikuthanda
Lokhu kukunika ithuba lokuzibuyisela emuva endleleni engcono.
3. Yenqaba ukuphelela.
Kungani kufanele ngikwenze lokho, ungahle ubuze.
Impela ukuphelela kuyinto enhle okufanele uyihlose?
Yebo, kungenxa yokuthi ukuphelela akunakwenzeka futhi kungafinyeleleki, noma ngabe uzama kangakanani ukuzama ukukufeza.
Iqiniso ukuthi ngokuzama ukuphelela, ukwethula uhlobo lwakho olufanele, usuke ungenanhlonipho.
Esikhundleni sokuhlose ukuphelela, kungani ungafundi ukwenza ukwamukela ukungapheleli kwakho .
Yebo, lokho kudinga isici sokuba sengozini, kepha ukwamukela ama-quirks nobuthakathaka bakho kubalulekile njengokuvuma amandla akho uma kukhulunywa ngobuqiniso.
Ukuba nesibindi sokwenqaba umbono ophelele esicabanga ukuthi kufanele siwuveze futhi sibonise imibala yethu yangempela ekugcineni kuyasinika amandla.
4. Funa ukuxhumana kwangempela.
Ubuntu bethu buyisixhumanisi esivamile phakathi kwethu sonke, kodwa kunenqwaba yobuntu, izinkolelo, nokuziphatha laphaya.
Ukuze wenze ukuxhumana kwangempela, komphefumulo, udinga ukwenza umzamo wokuqonda ngempela labo abaseduze kwakho.
Ukubuza imibuzo ecabangayo nokulalelisisa izimpendulo zabo kuzokusiza ukuthi wakhe ukuxhumana okujulile nokwanelisa kakhulu nabantu abaseduze kwakho.
lapho ungabe usakunakekela
Lokhu kuxhumana okunengqondo kuzokusiza ukuthi uqonde ubuqiniso bakho uqobo.
Qiniseka ukuthi uyenqaba abantu abanamasistimu amanani abo ahlukile kunawakho. Ukuchitha isikhathi nabo futhi ulolonge njalo uguqule okwakho ukuze ulingane ekunciphiseni ithuba lakho lokuba neqiniso.
Isibonelo, ungahle uzithole useqenjini lontanga abachazwa yindlela abaziphatha ngayo noma indlela abagqoka ngayo.
Thatha igxathu lengqondo emuva bese uhlaziya ukuthi ngabe nguwe ngempela lo noma ngabe ubeka uhlobo oluthile lwesenzo ukujabulisa labo abaseduze kwakho ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi uyingxenye yesixuku 'esikhona'.
Yilapho inqubo yokukhomba amanani akho ayisisekelo (iphuzu 1 ngenhla) ilusizo kakhulu.
Lapho usukwazi ukuthi umi kuphi, kuzoba lula ukubona ukuthi awuhlangani nje nalaba bantu.
Ungazithola usuzixaka phakathi kwabo. Lokhu kuyindlela yakho yokuphuma, ithuba lakho lokulahla ubuqili, ukuze ube neqiniso kuwe.
5. Yiba ‘okwamanje.’
Masibhekane nakho, sonke sinecala lokuvumela izingqondo zethu ukuba zizulazule esihlokweni lapho siphakathi kwengxoxo.
Izimpilo zethu zicindezeleke kakhulu, akumangazi neze ukuthi imicabango yokuthi uzophekelani isidlo sakusihlwa noma enye into kuhlu lwakho olude lwezinto okufanele ukwenze ifike.
Noma ungahle ucabange ngempendulo enhle ephuzwini elenziwa.
Kunoma ikuphi, ubungekho ‘okwamanje’ isikhathi esiningi futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uthole umongo jikelele walokho okushiwoyo.
Vele, lapho beqeda ukukhuluma, uphendula ngokushesha - ngethemba ngokufanele.
Inkinga ukuthi abantu bayakwazi ukubona ngokunembile ukuthi ukunaka komunye umuntu empeleni kugxile kulokho abakushoyo.
Kungezwe lapho, impendulo yakho ingahle ingalungi, iveze ukunganaki kwakho.
Ukuze ube yiqiniso ngokwengeziwe ebuhlotsheni bakho nakokunye ukuxhumana kwakho, kufanele usebenzise i uhlobo lokulalela ibizwa ngokuthi 'ukulalela okusebenzayo'.
Leli ikhono uqobo lwalo, kepha izinyathelo eziyisisekelo yilezi: ukunaka okukhombisa ukuthi ulalele ngokusebenzisa ulimi olufanele lomzimba ukuhlinzeka ngempendulo evimbela ukwahlulela nokugwema ukuphazamisa ukuphendula ngendlela efanele.
izinto okufanele uzenze uma unesizungu ekhaya
Ingabe zikhona izikhathi lapho kwamukeleka khona ukuba yiqiniso?
Ngishilo ngenhla ukuthi kunezimo lapho ukuguquka kwesimo somuntu kungadingeka futhi ngezinga elithile kwamukeleke.
Isibonelo esihle sisesimweni somsebenzi lapho kungaba umqondo omuhle ukuzwakalisa ukuvumelana nozakwethu, noma ikakhulukazi umuntu ophakeme, ngephuzu elingahlali kahle kuwe.
Le yingxenye yomdlalo ongadinga ukuyidlala endaweni yokubambisana.
Uma uthola ukuthi leli phethini liphindaphindwa, noma kunjalo, ubuqili buzoqala ukuthatha imiphumela yabo.
Njengoba ukuba ‘ngowangempela’ kusho ukugcina izenzo zakho namazwi kuhambisana nezindinganiso zakho, isikhathi singafika lapho, ukuze ube neqiniso kuwe, kuzodingeka ukuthi uthi kwanele futhi uqhubeke ngenxa yobuqotho bakho.
Nguwe kuphela ozokwazi ukuthi leso sikhathi sesifikile.
Ukugcina ukuzazi kwakho endleleni, njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, kuzoqinisekisa ukuthi awuphoqiwe ukuba ngumuntu ongeyena umzuzwana omude kunalokho okudingeka ngokuphelele.
Ukufingqa konke.
Emphakathini wethu oholwa ngabathengi, othanda izinto ezibonakalayo futhi oqhutshwa yisifiso sokwenza isithombe sokuphelela ku-inthanethi futhi empeleni, akukaze kube nzima ukuthembeka ngokweqiniso.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula, noma kunjalo, ukuthi akuyona impahla noma izithombe ezithwetshuliwe ezichaza wena, kepha ubuntu bakho obuzalwayo nendlela oyiyo.
Ngokuba nesibindi esanele sokuthatha izinyathelo zokuqinisekisa ukuthi wethula ubuwena bakho emhlabeni, ungaqinisa ubuntu bakho futhi ubukhona obuyingqayizivele emhlabeni , ukuze ukwazi ukugqama esixukwini.
Ngizoshiya igama lokugcina kwisazi sefilosofi uFriedrich Nietzsche ngoba ulibeka kangcono kunangaphambili:
Lo muntu kuke kwadingeka ukuthi alwe kanzima ukuze angahlulwa yisizwe. Uma uyizama uzoba nesizungu kaningi futhi kwesinye isikhathi wethuke. Kepha ayikho intengo ephakeme kakhulu ukuthi ungayikhokhela ilungelo lokuba ngumnikazi wakho.
