Ungayigcina Kanjani Ingxoxo Iqhubeka: 12 Azikho Izeluleko Zombhedo!

Yimiphi I-Movie Okufanele Uyibone?
 

Ukuxhumana okumbalwa komphakathi kujabulisa kakhulu kunengxoxo ebanzi, nakho konke ukuguquka kwayo kwemvelo.



Akunandaba ukuthi ukhuluma nabantu obathandayo, abangane, osebenza nabo, noma nabantu ohleliwe ohlangana nabo empilweni.

Ingxoxo emnandi ihamba ngokwemvelo kusuka esihlokweni kuye kusihloko ngokufafaza amahlaya lapha nalaphaya, futhi mhlawumbe nedeshi lokuphamba ukwenza izinto kancane (uma kufanele!).



Izingxoxo ezinjalo zenza ukuthi lawo ma-endorphin agelezele futhi angakushiya ugcwele ukukhanya okufudumele kokushintshana isikhashana ngemuva kwalokho.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, isimo esibuyela emuva singaba simbi…

… Ingxoxo ekhubeka kusuka kokushintshana okuxakile iye kwenye ngaphandle kokugeleza, izinhloso eziningi ezifile, nalezo ezesabekayo futhi ezibonakala zingapheli izikhathi 'zokuwa'.

Imiphumela elandelayo yesimo esinjengaleyo ingahlala isikhathi eside kwimemori yakho.

Ake sicabangele amanye amasu ongahle ukwazi ukuwasebenzisa ukugcina inkulumo igeleza futhi lokho kuthula okuxakile kube okungenani.

Uzothola nokuthi lezi zindlela ziwusizo ekuvuseleleni ingxoxo lapho ijubane liqala ukwehla futhi ngaphambi kokuba ligaye ukuma okungenakugwemeka futhi okungahambi kahle.

Ngakho-ke, ugcina kanjani ingxoxo iqhubeka?

1. Ungalokothi Uthathele Phansi Ukubaluleka Kwezingxoxo Ezincane

Yize emasikweni amaningi umbono wokuxoxa ngezingxoxo ezingabalulekile njengesimo sezulu noma ezemidlalo ubonwa njengokuchitha isikhathi, thina bantu abakhuluma isiNgisi besebenzisa inkulumo encane njengesango lengxoxo.

Kusivumela ukuthi senze into yomuntu uqobo yokuhlola omunye umuntu nokuthola umbono wokuthi yini ebenza bakitaze.

Ekugcineni ivumela ingxoxo ukuthi ithuthuke ngokwemvelo njengoba ubudlelwano phakathi kwezipikha busungulwa ekuqaleni futhi kancane kancane buyajula.

Izihloko ezingafuneki futhi ezivame ukuphindaphindwa kahle zezingxoxo ezincane - uhlala kuphi, wenzani, isimo sezulu, ezemidlalo, njll. - zisiza wonke amaqembu ukuba aphumule futhi abe yibo uqobo.

Uma uchithe isikhathi esithile wazi omunye umuntu ngezinkulumo ezincane, mancane amathuba okuthi lezozithulisa ezingathandeki zikhule njengoba ingxoxo iqhubeka.

2. Khetha Izihloko Owaziyo Omunye Umuntu Othola Ukuthakazelisa

Enye yezinzuzo zenkulumo encane yemizuzu embalwa ukuthi ikusiza ukukala ukuthandwa nokungathandwa kwabo.

Njengoba abantu abaningi bethanda ukukhuluma ngabo, ungagcina ingxoxo iqhubeka ngokubuza imibuzo ejulile ngezihloko okungenzeka ukuthi sezithintiwe.

Isibonelo, ingxoxo encane ngesimo sezulu ingaholela kalula engxoxweni ngohambo lokushushuluza lwakamuva noma igagasi lokushisa elibikezelwe nemiphumela yalo engaba khona.

3. Qiniseka ukuthi Ubuza imibuzo 'Evulekile'

Uma kukhulunywa ngokujula kunoma yisiphi isihloko, indlela obuza ngayo imibuzo yakho iyisihluthulelo sempumelelo.

Awukho umzila ongcono oya engxoxweni engathandeki kunokubuza imibuzo evumela impendulo ethi 'yebo' noma 'cha'.

Ngalokhu, ngiqonde ukugwema imibuzo efana nale:

ngazi kanjani ukuthi nginemizwa ethile ngomuntu othile

'Manje, ngabe uye eCosta Rica eholidini ngonyaka odlule?'

Esikhundleni salokho, zama umbuzo ovulekile onjengokuthi:

“Usho ukuthi uye eCosta Rica ngonyaka odlule. Sasinjani isimo sezulu / ulwandle / izilwane zasendle? ”

Umbuzo ovulekile unikeza ithuba lokuthi omunye umuntu acacise futhi, lokho kuzoholela kweminye imibuzo futhi ngethemba lokuthi uzovula umthungo ocebile wengxoxo.

Ithiphu ephezulu yokuqinisekisa ukuthi ugcina imibuzo yakho ‘ivulekile’ ukuqala ngokuthi yini, kuphi, nini, ngani, ubani, noma kanjani.

Konke akulahlekile uma ugcina ubuze umbuzo othi 'yebo / cha' ungalulama kalula ngokucela eminye imininingwane, usho okuthile okufana nalokhu:

“Ngingathanda ukwazi okwengeziwe. Ungangitshela kabanzi mayelana…? ”

4. Manje Yisa Ingxoxo Ezingeni Elide

Lapho inkulumo encane isiwenzile umsebenzi wayo, umsebenzi wezingxoxo ezinhle ukuyisa ingxoxo phambili ngokubuza imibuzo ethe xaxa.

Uma usuvele ubuze ukuthi 'Uhlala kuphi?', Ungaqhubeka ubuze ukuthi 'Uthutheleni lapho?'

Eqinisweni, imibuzo ethi 'kungani' mihle uma ufuna ukumba ujule kancane bese uthuthukisa ingxoxo.

Isixwayiso kuleli phuzu: uma imibuzo iba eyomuntu siqu futhi isondelene kakhulu, qiniseka ukuthi unaka noma iziphi izinkomba zokungakhululeki.

Uma omunye umuntu ebonakala engakhululeki nganoma iyiphi indlela, qiniseka ukuhlehla inyawo bese ubuyela endaweni ephephile ngemibuzo engena kancane, engathathi hlangothi.

5. Lalelisisa

Akunasisekelo sokubuza yonke leyo mibuzo emihle evulekile uma kusobala ukuthi awulaleli impendulo.

Sebenzisa inqubo yokulalela okusebenzayo, ukuze ukwazi ukuqonda umbono womunye umuntu.

Ungaphazamisi futhi, lapho sebeqedile ukukhuluma, yiba nethuba lokufingqa abakushoyo ukukhombisa ngempela ukuthi ubulalele…

'Uma ngilungile, kuzwakala sengathi wena ...'

Futhi uma udinga ukucaciselwa ngoba kukhona ongakuqondi kahle, zama okufana ...

“Uthi ...?”

Uma ubukade ubhekisisa, ungakhombisa nozwela ngokuzibeka ezicathulweni zesipika.

Isilaleli esihle ngempela sizobe sikulungele ukugcina ingxoxo iqhubeka lapho ijubane lihamba futhi intshisekelo ibonakala incipha.

Isibonelo, izihloko okungenzeka ukuthi zithintiwe ekuqaleni kwengxoxo zingabuyiselwa ekudlaleni ngombuzo onjengokuthi:

“Ukhulume ngaphambilini ukuthi…”

Lokhu ngokwemvelo kuvula ithuba lokuqhubeka kwengxoxo.

Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):

6. Khombisa ukuthi Uhlanganyele Nalokho Abakushoyo

Isilaleli esihle impela asimane simunce imininingwane ngokungatheni.

Noma kungaba budedengu ukuphazamisa, qiniseka ukuthi ukhombisa ukuzibandakanya nalokho okushiwo abanye ngokusebenzisa i-'gqugquzela 'njenge- 'Ngempela?' (ngaphandle kokubhuqa!), 'Ah' no 'Oh.'

Ungasebenzisa izikhuthazi ezingakhulumi ngamazwi futhi, njengokufaka isibuko ebusweni besipikha ngokubukeka umangele noma ucasukile njengoba kufanele.

7. Sebenzisa Amehlo Akho Ukukhombisa Intshisekelo Yakho Kulokho Abakushoyo

Bheka iso njalo njengoba ingxoxo igeleza njengoba lokhu kungenye inkomba yezinga lokunaka kwakho.

Hlala ubheka iso ekuqaleni kwengxoxo bese uyigcina ngokubheka emehlweni omunye umuntu cishe imizuzwana emi-4 noma emi-5…

… Hhayi isikhathi eside kakhulu noma uzoba sengozini yokubakhipha, ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi ubheka eceleni.

Ngenkathi amehlo akho evinjelwe, qiniseka ukuthi awugqizi kakhulu kwabanye abantu noma izinto, noma kunjalo, ngoba lokho kungakhombisa ukunganakwa.

Bese uqala kabusha ukuxhumana kwamehlo ngemuva kwemizuzwana embalwa.

Ibhalansi efanelekile ukukhomba ukuthintana kwamehlo cishe u-50% wesikhathi lapho ukhuluma no-70% wesikhathi lapho ulalele.

Mhlawumbe kubonakala kungajwayelekile ukukunciphisa kube ifomula, kepha kuyindlela elula yokukhumbula ukuthi kungakanani oxhumana naye kwamehlo ngaphandle kokukwenza ngokweqile.

8. Bheka Ukuthi Ulimi Lomzimba Wakho Luthini

Ingxoxo emnandi akuyona yonke eyokukhuluma! Kunokuxhumana okuningi okungenamlomo okuqhubekayo kunoma yikuphi ukuxhumana kwabantu kanye nolimi oluhle lomzimba kuyisihluthulelo sokushintshana ngokukhululeka, nokunethezeka.

Uma uhlala noma ume uqinile, isibonelo, lokho kungenza omunye umuntu azizwe engakhululekile.

Zama ukuncika kancane esihlalweni sakho, futhi ungakhohlwa ukwengeza ukumamatheka ngobumnene (hhayi ukugcwala okugcwele, noma - ngaphandle kwalapho kufanelekile!).

Uma umile, khona-ke ukuncika ngokunganaki emugqeni noma odongeni kunomphumela ofanayo.

O, futhi ungakhohlwa ukugcina lawo mahlombe phansi - akukho lutho olubonisa ukungezwani ngokucacile njengokuthi amahlombe akho abe sezindlebeni zakho!

9. Ukuhleka Okuncane Kuhamba Indlela Ende

Akungabazeki ukuthi amahlaya amancane asiza noma iyiphi ingxoxo ngokuhamba, hhayi ngoba iyasiza ukwakha ubudlelwano obuhle futhi yakhe umuzwa wobudlelwano.

Akuwona wonke umuntu osomahlaya omkhulu kunabo bonke, ngakho-ke ungaphoqeleli.

Akudingeki ukuthi upelepele ingxoxo yakho ngama-liners ahlakaniphile noma usho amahlaya. Ukuphawula okucike kahle noma okwehlisayo kungaphakamisa ukuhleka futhi.

10. Ukuthula Kungaba Yigolide Empeleni

KULUNGILE, ngakho-ke ngiqale lesi siqephu ngokukhuluma ngezikhathi ezixakile lapho ukuthula okungahambi kahle kugcina ingxoxo bese kuyibulala itshe lifile.

Eqinisweni, noma kunjalo, akufanele wesabe ukuthuliswa ngezikhathi ezithile.

Ukuthula kuyingxenye ebalulekile yobuciko bokuxoxa. Ukwazi ukuthi kufanele ukhulume nini nokuthi ungakhulumi nini kuyikhono eliyisisekelo elidinga ukufundwa ngokunembile.

Kukhona umhlaba owehlukile phakathi kokuthula okungahambi kahle kanye nokuphumuza isikhashana kwemizuzwana engxoxweni.

Okokugcina kuyinto ejwayelekile, ngakho-ke ungethuki uma kwenzeka. Ungazizwa ukuthi udinga ukukhipha okuthile - noma yini! - ngokuphelelwa yithemba ukuvala isikhala.

Kungakunika ithuba lokuqoqa imicabango yakho. Ingakhombisa futhi ukuthi isihloko sifinyelele esiphethweni saso semvelo noma sesiphenduke isikhuni esinamandla kakhulu senduduzo futhi sivumela ushintsho lwento.

11. Icala elingahlosiwe

Kulula kakhulu ukusho okuthile okubangela ukucasuka okujulile phakathi nengxoxo, noma ngabe bekungahlosiwe ngaleyo ndlela.

Ukusho okuthile okungafanelekile noma okungazweli kukhipha ingxoxo ebhalansi futhi kudale ukungakhululeki okunzima ukubuyela kukho.

Indlela enhle kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubhekana nayo, uyiqambe igama, futhi uqhubekele phambili.

Ungazami ukwenza sengathi akukaze kwenzeke. Leyo yindlela eqinisekile yokujulisa ukulimala nokuletha ingxoxo esiphethweni esingajabulisi nesingakafiki isikhathi.

12. Hambisana Nezindaba Zamanje

Uma wenza umzamo wokuhlala uphezulu kokwenzekayo kuzwelonke nakwamanye amazwe, kusukela ekuhlebeni kosaziwayo kuye ekukhathazekeni ngokushintsha kwesimo sezulu, uzohlala unomphetho ocebile wezihloko zokugcina ingxoxo iqhubeka.

Izwi leseluleko nokho: uma ukunye nabantu ongabazi, ngaso sonke isikhathi kuwukuhlakanipha ukuzihlukanisa nezombusazwe ezizimele nezindaba zenkolo ngezizathu ezisobala impela.

Inothi Lokugcina Elilodwa

Ungalokhu ushaye ihhashi elifile!

Kunezikhathi lapho imizamo yakho emihle izophela ize ngoba elinye iqembu alinantshisekelo noma alizimisele ukuhlanganyela engxoxweni.

Lokhu kungaba ngenxa yezizathu eziningi, iningi noma zonke ezingaphezu kwamandla akho.

Ungakuthathi lokhu uqobo .

Vele uzame ukuvale ingxoxo ngokushesha okukhulu ngaphandle kokudelela. Kubeke phansi ukuzwa bese uqhubeka!

Kufingqa izinto phezulu

Ungazami ukufaka ngaphezulu kwalezi ziphakamiso ngasikhathi sinye noma kungenzeka uzizwe ukhungathekile futhi ukhathazekile okuzomisa ingxoxo khona manjalo.

Kungani ungazami eyodwa nje? Uma uzizwa ukuthi uyakwazi - futhi ngethemba ukuthi sekuqalile ukwenza izingxoxo zihambe ngokushelelayo - uzozethemba ngokwengeziwe ngokusebenzisa amanye amasu ukuya phambili.

Eminye yalezi ziphakamiso ezingenhla ingathatha umkhuba omncane futhi ucabange kusengaphambili, kepha imivuzo ozoyithola ekuthuthukiseni amakhono akho njengomuntu okhulumayo izowufanele umzamo.

Kuzoba nezinzuzo empilweni yakho yobungcweti neyenhlalo futhi (uma ungashadile futhi ugcina ubheke umlingani wempilo ephelele) nempilo yakho yothando, futhi!

Igama lokugcina liya kumbongi waseBrithani uDavid Whyte:

“Ingxoxo yangempela ihlala iqukethe isimemo. Umema omunye umuntu ukuthi aziveze kuwe, akutshele ukuthi bangobani noma ukuthi bafunani. ”