Ubudlelwano buyinselele ezimeni ezihamba phambili.
Ubudlelwano bukuvezela zonke izinto ezinhle hhayi ezinhle kakhulu ngomlingani wakho.
Ukudangala kunezela inselelo ehluke ngokuphelele ebudlelwaneni, ngoba akekho noyedwa osifundisa ukuthi singaba kanjani ebudlelwaneni obunempilo nokugula kwengqondo.
ukubhalwa nini ngemuva kosuku lokuqala
Kunokukhubazeka okuningi futhi uqagele izinto njengoba uhamba ngoba izindlela ezahlukahlukene zisebenza kangcono kubantu abehlukene.
Ukudangala kuyabucindezela ubudlelwano ngendlela obuthinta ngayo ukusebenza komuntu nokubona kwakhe umhlaba.
Kubuhlungu futhi kunzima ukubuka umuntu omthandayo ehlupheka ngenxa yokungaphili.
Imibono yabo ngokwabo ingase yehle, bangazizwa bengenathemba, futhi sengathi abanandaba. Futhi kubonakala sengathi noma yini oyisho ngokuphambene ayinayo i-resonance engokomzwelo.
Indlela ukucindezeleka okuqeda ngayo imizwa nokukwazi komuntu ukuzizwa kwenza kubonakale sengathi umlingani akakwazi ukufaka isandla enhlalakahleni yethu.
Lokho akulona iqiniso. Ukuthi nje indlela esidinga ukukhombisa ngayo ububele kothandekayo ocindezelekile ihlukile kunendlela esibonisa ngayo ububele kulabo abangenakho ukugula kwengqondo.
Ukudana konakalisa ubuhlobo kalula uma ukunakekelwa kungathathwa yibo bobabili abalingani.
Kulula ukuthatha ukunganaki nokunqamula ukucindezeleka uqobo uma ungazi kangcono.
Ngakho-ke, ake sihlole ezinye zezindlela zokwenza ukuzulazula kubudlelwano nokudangala kube lula, okokuqala kumlingani ngaphandle kokudangala, bese kuba nguzakwethu.
Kozakwethu ngaphandle kokucindezeleka…
1. Yamukela ukuthi awukwazi ukulungisa ukucindezeleka komlingani wakho.
Ukudangala kuyisifo esikhohlisayo esingadinga ukwelashwa, ukwelashwa, nezinguquko zendlela yokuphila ukuze sithuthuke.
Akusona isimo lapho ungajabulisa khona umlingani wakho ngokubatshela izinto ezinhle noma ezinhle.
Ukudana komoya kungasonta i-monologue yangaphakathi futhi kuphazamise izinqubo zamakhemikhali ezivumela umuntu ukuthi ajabule futhi ezwe injabulo kulezi zinhlobo zezinto.
Ukuba khona kumlingani wakho ocindezelekile kuyindlela engcono kakhulu, yize kungaba yindlela ebuhlungu.
Cishe ubona izinto eziningi ezinhle ngomuntu omthandayo. Ukuba khona kulowo muntu lapho ukugula kwakhe kwengqondo kumenza azizwe noma abone izinto ezimbi ngaye kunzima, kepha kuyadingeka.
Awukwazi ukulungisa ukucindezeleka komlingani wakho. Ungaba khona futhi usekele kuphela.
2. Yiba nezimo ekushintsheni kwezinhlelo.
Ukuzivumelanisa nezimo kubalulekile ngoba umuntu ocindezelekile kungenzeka angakwazi ukulandela zonke izinhlelo abazenzayo.
Ezinye izinsuku zingcono kunezinye. Ngezinye izinsuku umlingani wakho uzosebenza kakhulu kunabanye.
Izinhlelo ezenziwe ngesonto eledlule kungenzeka zingafezeki kuleli sonto uma umlingani wakho engakwazi ukuvuka embhedeni ngoba banosuku lokungalulami kahle.
Ukudana kwesinye isikhathi kuzobaphuca amandla okusebenza ngendlela ejwayelekile.
Ukuqonda kanye nokuzivumelanisa nezimo kuzoba ibanga elide ekugcineni ukuvumelana ebudlelwaneni.
Yebo, akumnandi ukuba nezinhlelo ziphazamiseke kanjalo, kepha kuzokwenzeka kungekudala noma kamuva.
Khumbula: ezinye izinsuku zilula kakhulu kunezinye.
3. Khetha bese ukhetha izimpi zakho ngokucophelela.
Ukudana komoya kudala ukuthi umuntu acabange ngendlela emnyama nomhlophe.
Ithanda ukukhulisa imizwa engemihle, njengokuzethemba okuphansi nokuzithemba, futhi ibenze babaluleke kakhulu kunabo.
Ukuphawula okungenacala kungahunyushwa ngendlela engemihle edala ukungezwani. Ukugxekwa okuncane kungazizwa njengokulahlwa okulimazayo noma ukuhlaselwa komuntu siqu.
Lokho ongakubheka njengokuncane noma okungabaluleki kungathathwa ukudangala bese kuqhunyiswa kube yinto enkulu neqisayo, njengokucabanga ukuthi abasoze bajabula noma bakwazi ukuba nobudlelwano obuhle.
Ukudana komoya kungaphinde kukhulise imizwa yokungabi nalusizo nokuphelelwa yithemba, kuphuce amandla omuntu okuzizwa elawula ukugula kwabo kwengqondo noma impilo.
Izimpikiswano nokungavumelani kuzokwenzeka ebudlelwaneni. Kungcono ukugwema ukuba nazo lapho umuntu esendaweni emnyama ngoba ngeke bacabange ngendlela efanayo naleyo ababengacabanga ngayo ngenkathi belinganisela kangcono.
Lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele uzincishe izidingo zakho, kepha qonda ukuthi ingxoxo ebucayi ingadinga ukulinda usuku olungcono.
4. Zama ukungakuthathi mathupha.
Kuzoba nokunganaki kanye nemizwa elimele ukudlula kuyo. Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho othandiweyo wakho kungeyena uqobo ngenxa yendlela ukucindezeleka okufaka ngayo imibala emiqondweni yabo yomhlaba nemizwa.
Kuzolimaza ukubuka umuntu omthandayo futhi ocabanga kakhulu ngokuhlala kulolo hlobo lwesikhala.
Iqiniso ukuthi abantu abanokudangala abakwazi ukuphuma kukho noma bavele bashintshe indlela ukucindezeleka kwabo okubathinta ngayo. Ukwenza ngcono ngokugula kwengqondo kungaba inqubo ende, ebuhlungu.
Okungcono ukuthi unganciphisa izici ezimbi zokucindezeleka, kuzoba lula kakhulu ukugcina nokuzula ebudlelwaneni.
Lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele wamukele noma ukhuthaze ukuhlukunyezwa, vele uqonde ukuthi kungenzeka kube nobubi obungebona obulungile kumlingani wakho.
Indlela enhle yokwenza lokhu ukugxila ezicini ezinhle zobudlelwano bakho. Lokho kungasiza ekulweni nokunganaki okwamanje.
5. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela futhi unakekele impilo yakho yengqondo.
Ukulinganiswa kokunakekelwa ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile. Bobabili abalingani kufanele bakwazi ukuncika komunye nomunye lapho bedinga lokho kusekelwa okwengeziwe ukuze badlule kunoma yini impilo ebaphonsa kuyo.
Umuntu ocindezelekile angahle angakwazi ukunikeza lokho kusekelwa okungeziwe sonke isikhathi.
Ukuphila nokudangala kudinga amandla amakhulu emizwelo yokuhambisa imizwa emibi ngenkathi uhlangabezana nezidingo zempilo.
Bheka impilo yakho yengqondo ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi awudluli ngokweqile futhi uzishise.
Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho umlingani wakho engakwazi ukufaka umthwalo wabo ogcwele ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni, ngakho-ke kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuthi kube nezikhathi zokungalingani ekusebenzeni ngokomzwelo.
Kodwa-ke, lokho akufanele kube yinto yaphakade noma yesikhathi sonke. Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho udinga ukwenza isikhathi sokuvuselela amabhethri akho angokomzwelo.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Ungayichaza Kanjani Imizwa Yokucindezeleka Njengomuntu Ongakaze Abe Nayo
- Izinto Ezinhlanu Okufanele Uzenze Uma Umuntu Omthandayo Ezethembile (+ 6 Izimpawu Ozozifuna)
- Ukujola Nomuntu Onexhala: Izinto Ezi-4 Ofanele Uzenze (Futhi 4 HHAYI OKWENZIWE)
- Ungakunqoba Kanjani Ukuzizwa Ungelutho
- Ungalucela Kanjani Usizo Ngaphandle Kokuzizwa Uxakekile Noma Uwumthwalo
Kozakwethu onokudangala…
1. Khumbula ukuthi umlingani wakho akayena udokotela noma umelaphi.
Ukuba ngumuntu onesifo sengqondo ebuhlotsheni kunzima ngenxa yecala nehlazo elingaqhamuka nakho.
Ukudangala kungagcwalisa imicabango nemizwa yakho, kukwenze uzibone ungaphansi noma ungafanele uthando. Lokho akulona iqiniso nakancane.
Okuyiqiniso ukuthi umlingani wakho cishe uzosho noma enze okuthile okungazweli maqondana nokugula kwakho kwengqondo.
Ababona ochwepheshe. Abakwazi ukuhlinzeka ngohlobo lokuxhaswa nosizo udokotela noma umelaphi angakwazi.
Bangazifunda zonke izindatshana futhi bazifundise kahle ukuthi bangaba kanjani umlingani omuhle womuntu onesifo sengqondo…
… Nokho, zonke izindatshana emhlabeni azikwazi ukulungiselela umuntu umthwalo ongokomzwelo ovela ekubukeni ngokungenakuzisiza umuntu amthandayo ehlupheka.
Ukunikeza ubufakazi ngokuhlupheka kothandekayo ogula ngengqondo kuyinselele engokomzwelo. Futhi lapho kunzima ngokomzwelo kuza imizwa ephazamisayo, ekhungathekisayo engase ingahanjiswa ngendlela engcono kakhulu.
Kuzokhulunywa izinto futhi kuthathwe izinyathelo ezingalimaza okwamanje.
Umlingani wakho angaba yingxenye ebalulekile yenethiwekhi yakho yokwesekwa, kepha ayinakubuyiselwa esikhundleni sokwelashwa nomsebenzi oqhubeka nokwenza ngcono.
Ungalindeli ukuthi othandiweyo wakho enze kahle ekukusekeleni ezikhathini zakho ezimnyama kakhulu. Yinto edinga ukujwayeza nokuthula nalesi simo, abantu abaningi abangenayo.
2. Thuthukisa inethiwekhi enkulu yokwesekwa ngaphandle komlingani wakho.
Uzakwethu othandana naye uzoba umuntu oseqhulwini kunethiwekhi yakho yokusekela.
Ngeke kwenzeke ukuthi bangabi ngoba uma izinto zihamba kahle, ngokunokwenzeka uzochitha sonke isikhathi esiningi uzungeze lowo muntu.
Uma kushiwo lokho, azikwazi ukuba yizindlela zakho zodwa zokusekela ekubhekaneni nasekusebenzeni ukunqoba ukucindezeleka kwakho.
Kuyisamba nje esiningi kakhulu somsebenzi ongokomzwelo abantu abaningi abangahlonyisiwe ukubhekana nawo.
Bangase bafune, kodwa cishe ngeke bakwazi.
Ngemuva kwakho konke, wonke umuntu unemithwalo yakhe yomthwalo nomthwalo azobhekana nawo futhi.
Funa ukwakha inethiwekhi yakho yokusekela ngaphandle komlingani wakho othandana naye. Lokho kungaba abanye abangane abanenkinga yezempilo yengqondo, iqembu lokusekelwa, noma owelapha.
Kungasiza futhi ukuba neminye imisebenzi ehlelwe njalo ukuphuma ukuze wenze okuthile ngokomzimba nokusebenzayo.
Yize kungekona ukusekelwa okungokomzwelo ngendlela ejwayelekile, ukuzivocavoca umzimba nokuba nokuthile okulindele phambili kungasebenza njengezisekeli ezingeziwe ukusiza ukuziphakamisa lapho kudingeka.
3. Hlela ukuthi ukucindezeleka kuba kubi nini.
Indlela enhle yokuqeda umonakalo lapho ukucindezeleka kuba kubi ukuthi ube nohlelo kusengaphambili.
Uyazazi ezinye izinto umlingani wakho angakwenza ukukusiza ukuthi ubhekane nokungezwani okuphelele?
Ukuzivocavoca umzimba? Ukulala ngokwengeziwe? Imisebenzi?
Faka umlingani wakho kuhlelo lwakho ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze bakwazi ukukusiza ngalo ngendlela ezwakalayo kuwe.
Kwesinye isikhathi ukucindezeleka kungadala ukuthi umuntu axoshe abanye abantu ukuze bakwazi ukuba bodwa.
Ngezinye izikhathi kungaba ngenxa yokuthi ukucindezeleka kubenza bazizwe sengathi abathandeki noma abalufanele uthando nokusekelwa.
Isikhathi esisodwa singenza izimanga kumuntu odinga nje isikhathi sokuthula ukuze adlule kukho. Lokho kungafakwa kuhlelo lonke.
Ngakho-ke yenza isikhala nesikhathi sokwenza okuthile uwedwa isikhashana, uma wazi ukuthi kuzokusiza. Kuya kuphela ngokuthi uxhumana kanjani nabantu ngenkathi ungaphilile.
4. Gwema izingxoxo ezingokomzwelo nezinqumo ngenkathi ungaphilile kahle.
Ukucindezeleka okungapheli kuza ngamandla ahlukahlukene. Kwesinye isikhathi akukubi kangako. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba yindawo embi, engenamuntu.
Kubantu abaphilile ngokomzwelo, ukwazi ukuthi yiziphi izimpi okufanele zilwiwe futhi yingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu ekugcineni ubuhlobo obunempilo.
Kumuntu ocindezelekile, lokho kuba nzima kakhulu ngoba ukucindezeleka kunomthelela omubi emibonweni nasemizweni yakho.
Yingakho kuwumqondo omubi ukuzama ukuba nezingxoxo ezijulile ezingokomzwelo noma ukuthatha izinqumo ezibalulekile ngenkathi ungaphilile kahle.
Kunzima ukucabanga ngemibono nangemizwelo ebonakaliswa ukucindezeleka, okusho ukuthi cishe uzolwela ukubona lesi simo ngendlela engathathi hlangothi noma enhle.
Lokho kudala izingxabano ezingenasidingo nemizwa elimele engadingi ukuthi yenzeke uma ingahlehliswa kuze kube yisikhathi lapho uzizwa ungcono ngokomqondo.
Kodwa impilo ayihlali isilindele. Kwesinye isikhathi udinga ukwenza into, kungakhathalekile ukuthi uzizwa kanjani.
Kulezo zikhathi, uhlu lwe-Pros and Cons olususelwa eqinisweni lungakusiza uhlele amaqiniso emizweni yesimo.
Amaqiniso awanamizwa kubo. Ngakho-ke, benza imethrikhi engcono yokwenza izinqumo lapho izinto zingahambi kahle ngokomzwelo.
5. Nikela ngokuthi yikuphi ukusekelwa okungokomzwelo okwazi ukukwenza.
Ubudlelwano obuhle bumayelana nokulinganisela. Abantu ababandakanyekayo bangalinganisana, baphakamisane lapho bewa phansi, futhi basebenze ukugcina iqembu liphilile futhi liqinile.
Lokho kungaba yinto enzima ukuyenza uma nawe uphila nokudangala.
Ukudangala kuphuca umuntu amandla akhe angokomzwelo nangokomzimba kwesinye isikhathi. Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho uzizwa sengathi awukwazi ukunikeza ukwesekwa okudingwa umlingani wakho, futhi lokho kulungile. Yimvelo nje yesilo.
Okubalulekile ukuthi wenze umzamo wokunikela ukuthi yikuphi ukusekelwa okungokomzwelo okwaziyo lapho ukwazi.
Kungase kungabonakali njengokuningi, futhi kungahle kungabonakali kubaluleke kangako, kepha kukhombisa umlingani wakho ukuthi wenza okusemandleni akho.
Umzamo ubalwa kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, ngakho-ke zama ukubonakala ngangokunokwenzeka lapho umlingani wakho ekufuna, noma ngabe ungekho kahle kakhulu.
