Sonke sizwile ngabo, futhi akekho kithi ofuna ukuba munye - kodwa ukuthi yini ngempela kuyinto ubuhlobo benzondo?
Yebo, kuhle kakhulu njengoba kuzwakala. Imizwa yakho ngomunye nomunye yeqa phakathi kothando ne… inzondo, ngokungamangazi.
Izinto zizoba zinhle ngomzuzu owodwa futhi uphezu komhlaba, nonke nithandwa, nijabule kakhulu, futhi nihlangene.
Ngomzuzu olandelayo, awukwazi ukuma ubasondele kubo, konke okwenziwa yilowo nalowo kini kuqhubekisela omunye odongeni, futhi nisongela ngokuhlukana, noma niqeda izinto ngobuqotho. O, bese nibuyelana futhi umjikelezo uqala futhi.
Into - ayikho indawo ephakathi yangempela. Awunakho nje ukucasuka noma ukungavumelani kwansuku zonke. Esikhundleni salokho, uzulazula usuka kokunye ngokweqile uye kolunye.
Kungazwakala kusobala impela, kepha abantu abaningi empeleni ababoni ukuthi basebudlelwaneni bokuzonda uthando isikhathi eside.
kungani ngizizwa ngiyisimungulu
Ngakho-ke, sihlanganise izimpawu eziyi-10 ukuthi ukunye, kanye nokuholwa okuthile kokumele ukwenze ngokulandelayo.
1. Awusoze waqiniseka ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngazo.
Uma ubudlelwano bakho bukushiya uzizwa udidekile uma ucabanga ngakho empeleni, kunokuthile okwenzekayo okudingeka ukubheke.
Esinye sezici ezichazayo zobudlelwano benzondo yothando ukuthi awusoze waqiniseka ngempela ukuthi kwenzekani noma ukuthi umi kuphi.
Lokhu kuvame ukuthi kungenxa yokuthi akukaze kube khona ukuvumelana noma ukuzinza. Awunalo izinga lesisekelo ongabhekisela kulo, futhi asikaze sibe khona isikhathi esanele sezinto ezikhona nje kuhle , ngakho-ke awusoze waqiniseka ukuthi umi kuphi.
Awukhulumi ngakho nabo, ngakho-ke awunasiqiniseko sokuthi nabo banemizwa efanayo - umane nje unamathele kwiluphu elixakile nelingagculisi, kepha ukuphakama kukwenza ucabange ukuthi kufanele, ngakho-ke ukunamathela phuma.
Ubudlelwano obufana nalobu buphazamisa izingqondo zethu, ngakho-ke akumangazi ukuthi awuqiniseki ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngomlingani wakho.
2. Ungomunye walabo abashadile 'on / off' - futhi ulindele umjikelezo njalo.
Kufana noRoss noRachel, kodwa kuncane kothando. Wena nomlingani wakho ningadabula imizwa yangempela yozondo lothando, ngokuthi niphezu komzuzu owodwa bese nifuna lutho ukwenza ngokulandelayo.
Uma izinto zishisa futhi zibanda, kunethuba elihle lokuthi ukubo obunye balobu budlelwano. Uma uhlala ulinde 'inzondo' ngesikhathi sesigaba 'sothando, uwena nakanjani kobunye balobu budlelwano.
Ungahle ube muhle uma nindawonye - anikwazi ukuthola okwanele omunye komunye, niba nobumnandi obuningi ndawonye, niyizithandani ezithandekayo-kodwa-ezigulisa kancane ezitholwa yiwo wonke umuntu okuncane kakhulu!
Uma ningekho ndawonye, nokho, niyethuka. Nikhuthazana, nisakaza amahemuhemu, ninobulwane komunye nomunye…
Futhi-ke - senibuyelene futhi!
Ingxenye embi kakhulu yakho konke lokhu ukuthi wena yazi kuzokwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi nisabuyela emuva kokunye - nobabili!
Uma ungakwazi ngisho nokujabulela ukuphakama ngoba ulinde nje ukuthi izinto zishaye zikushise eduze kwakho - unobudlelwano obunenzondo yothando, futhi udinga ukwenza okuthile ngakho.
3. Ukuxhumeka kwakho ikakhulukazi kungokomzimba.
Ubudlelwano obuningi bususelwa ekuxhumaneni okuningi - ukukhanga ngokomzimba nokuhambisana kuhle, kunjalo, kepha ubudlelwano obunempilo nabo bakhelwe ekuxhumaneni, ekucabangeni, ekuxhumaneni ngokomzwelo, njll.
Uma wena nomlingani wakho ningenayo ngempela eminye yemigudu eyengeziwe futhi nihlangana kahle kakhulu ‘ngokomzimba’ kodwa nixabana futhi nilwa kakhulu, mhlawumbe nisebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando.
Ungahle ungabi nabangane bobabili noma izintshisekelo, futhi awenzi lutho olutheni ngesikhathi sasemini, noma usangulukile, kodwa uyahambisana kakhulu embhedeni.
Kuhle lokho, kepha akuholeli njalo ezinqumweni ezinempilo kakhulu!
Ungathola ukuthi awukwazi ukubamela ngempela uma uhleli noma uzipholela nje nabo. Bangase bakuthathe kabi, noma babe nemibono ephikisana ne-polar kuwe kuyo yonke into ngokoqobo.
Kepha ubulili buhle, ngakho-ke unamathela kuwo.
Uma lokho kuzwakala kujwayelekile, kungaba uphawu lokuthi usesebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando.
4. Abangani bakho ababathandi.
Abangane bazi kangcono kakhulu esikhathini esiningi, ikakhulukazi uma kukhulunywa ngobani obathandayo. Uma benza imibono ngomuntu othandana naye, noma bezama ukusikisela ukuthi kufanele uyiqede, abakuthandi ngempela ukuthi uthandana nobani.
Bangase bazame ukukuthola ukuthi uchithe isikhathi esincane nomlingani wakho, noma babuze imibuzo ebuzwayo noma eholayo yokuthi kungani ukhona ngempela nabo nokuthi ngabe ubona noma cha kukhona 'ikusasa elibucayi.'
Le yindlela yabo yokukwazisa ukuthi ababujabuleli ubudlelwano bakho - futhi lokho kungenxa yokuthi bangabona ukuthi kuyashisa futhi kuyabanda! Bafuna okungcono kakhulu kuwe, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi babonile ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho abukho lokho…
5. Nobabili benu abakwazi ukukhuluma.
Imibhangqwana eminingi inezinkinga zokuxhumana, impela. Kepha okwakho kwehlukile.
Ebudlelwaneni bakho, kukhona iqanda ukuxhumana - akukubi nje kuphela, akukho.
Ungahle ubone ukuthi awukhulumi ngempela ngezihloko ezibucayi noma ezibalulekile, noma awulokothi uxabane.
Ukuphikisana kungahle kungazwakali kukuhle, kepha empeleni kukhombisa ukuthi nobabili ningethembeka ngendlela enizizwa ngayo. Uma nobabili nivumelana ngokoqobo ngayo yonke into, noma ningenzi lutho futhi anikhethi ngaso sonke isikhathi, oyedwa noma nobabili ninamanga.
Ngokulingana, ungahle uphikisane sonke isikhathi. Lokhu okunye ukweqisa futhi kukhombisa ukuthi awuhambisani kahle kakhulu.
Uma uhlala nomuntu ongeke ume isigamu sesikhathi, futhi ungakwenzi khuluma kuze kube uhhafu wesikhathi, kuzwakala sengathi usebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando.
6. Impilo yakho yangasese neyangasese yehluke kakhulu.
Ngabe nike nikubone ukushintsha ngokushesha lapho nobabili nibuya ekhaya ngemuva kwephathi noma isidlo nabangane?
Uma niphuma ndawonye, niyizithandani zamaphupho - kufana nokuthi nenza umbukiso wokuthi nibabili kangakanani. Niyathandana futhi niyisilima, niyathandwa, niyazibophezela komunye nomunye futhi nifuna wonke umuntu akwazi…
Ngemuva kwalokho ufika ekhaya futhi nihlala nindawonye - izinto zizwakala zishubile noma zingahambi kahle, mhlawumbe ziyeke isandla sakho ziqonde futhi zingenzi omunye umzamo wokukukhombisa uthando noma ukunakwa.
Uma ubudlelwano bakho buzizwa buhluke ngokuphelele uma usesidlangalaleni uma uqhathanisa nesikhathi nisodwa ngasese, nisendaweni engajwayelekile.
ake othile azi ukuthi uyabathanda
7. Uthanda ukuthi bavele bayiqede.
Sonke besikhona! Izinto azizinhle, futhi uqala cishe unethemba lokuthi bavele bakukhiphe nobabili osizini lwakho bese beqeda ngakho.
Awufuni ukuba umuntu ohlukane nabo, futhi awufuni uthando umqondo wokuba wedwa… kepha futhi ufuna izaba noma ukweqa endleleni udoti ohlangana ngayo nomlingani wakho.
Uma lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile, sizongena kweminye imininingwane engezansi ukuthi yini okufanele siyenze yenza uma usubonile ukuthi ukulo hlobo lobudlelwano.
8. Ucabanga ngabanye abantu.
Ungahle ube seqophelweni lobudlelwano bakho lapho uqala khona ukubona ukuthi ulahlekelwa yini. Mhlawumbe ufuna okuthile okuzizwa kuzinzile noma kuvikelekile ngokwengeziwe, noma ufisa ngempela umlingani olinganiselayo.
Kunoma ikuphi, uqala ukuqaphela okushodayo ebudlelwaneni bakho - futhi uzithola uheha ngokwengeziwe umcabango womunye umuntu can gcwalisa lezi zidingo.
Ungahle wazi othile ocacile othobekile futhi ohamba kalula. Mhlawumbe usuqalile ukuhlakulela uhlobo oluthile lwemizwa noma 'ukucindezela ngokomzwelo' kubo. Lokho wukuthi, awubathandi ngqo, kepha uyawuthanda umqondo wokuba nabo ngoba kuzoba lula futhi kube nempilo.
Lokhu kuhle kakhulu. Sibheke, ngokuqaphela nangokuqonda, kubantu abangasinika esikufunayo.
Isikhathi esiningi, sizobe sicabanga ngomuntu ojwayelekile umbono wokuthi yini esingaba nayo, ngokungafani nomuntu ongokoqobo onezimfanelo esizifunayo.
Uma uqala ukucabanga noma ukuphupha ngokuba nomuntu wangempela owaziyo (lowo akusiyena umlingani wakho!), Lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi usebudlelwaneni bokuzonda uthando.
Izinto azilungile, futhi ubheka kwenye indawo, okufakazela nje lokho.
9. Nenza nobabili.
Khumbula ukuthi abukho ubuhlobo buyindlela eyodwa, futhi lokhu akuhlukile.
Kubalulekile ukuthi ube nokuzazi futhi uqonde ukuthi udlala yiphi indima ebudlelwaneni bakho, kepha kufanelekile ukucubungula nezenzo zabo.
Uma umlingani wakho ebonakala edlula ezigabeni ezifanayo nezakho, uyazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi usebudlelwaneni benzondo yothando - nokuthi imizwa iyahambisana.
Ungaqaphela ukuthi bakugxeka njengoba nje ubenza uzwe ukuthi bakhala ngawe yabo abangane ungabona ukuthi nabo banezinsuku lapho bevele bakucasukele ngaphandle kwesizathu sangempela.
Uma nobabili nizwa le mizwa efanayo, kuyisibonakaliso esicacile sokuthi ubudlelwano benu bugcwele yonke indawo!
10. Uyazi nje…
Uma uthembekile ngokuphelele kuwe - uyazi. Ubungeke ubheke le ndatshana noma ufunde le kude ukube ubungazi, ezingeni elithile, ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obunenzondo yothando.
Ungahle wazi isikhashana kepha ubuphika (okuyinto enhle, ulapha manje, okubalulekile!) Noma abantu kungenzeka ukuthi bebephawula kamuva nje okwenze wakubuza ukuthi kwenzekani ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ungahle ube naloyo muzwa owesabekayo wokwesaba esiswini sakho, noma ungavele uphelelwe amandla owafaka ekuzondeni umlingani wakho.
Uma usesigabeni ‘sothando’, ungahle uzizwe unecala ngazo zonke izinto ezinyantisayo osuke uzisho ngazo. Bese izinto zishintsha futhi futhi ubuyele ekufundeni ngazo.
Usuyazi vele ukuthi uyakwenza lokhu, ngakho-ke uyazi uhlobo lobudlelwano okulo. Wenze kahle ngokwenza umzamo wokwenza ushintsho - yingakho ufunda lokhu namuhla, futhi leso yisinyathelo esikhulu!
Ungayenza kanjani ukuthi isebenze.
Lapho kukhona izindlela zokwenza ubudlelwano bakho busebenze, kepha nobabili kuzodingeka nenze umzamo kukho ukuze kwenzeke lokho.
Nawa amathiphu ambalwa abalulekile okwenza ubudlelwano bakho benzondo obunempilo buqine futhi bujabule kakhudlwana.
Ukuxhumana kubalulekile - njengokuqiniswa okuhle.
Ubudlelwano benzondo yothando bumayelana nokweqisa, okuvame ukuthi ngoba ukuxhumana kwangempela, okuvulelekile nokwethembeka akuveli nje.
Uma ungakhulumi omunye nomunye ngendlela ozizwa ngayo, yini engakusebenzeli, yini ekwenza ucasuke, ungalindela kanjani ukuthi izinto zisebenze?
Gxila ekwethembekeni nomlingani wakho ngezinto ezikukhathazayo - kanye nezinto othanda ukuba nazo.
Bazise uma ukuziphatha kwabo kukucasula! Ababona abafundi bezingqondo, ngemuva kwakho konke - futhi, uma ungakaze ubatshele ukuthi awukuthandi lapho beshiya izicathulo zabo ekamelweni (noma yini enye eyenza igazi lakho libile!), Cishe bayakucabanga kulungile, ngakho-ke kungani bezodinga ukushintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo?
Lapho uthembeke ngokwengeziwe kubo, bazokhululeka ngokwengeziwe lapho bethembekile kuwe. Ukuxhumana okuthembekile ngezindlela ezimbili? Siyayithanda!
Esikhundleni 'sokuphikelela' ekuxhumaneni kwakho, faka ukuqinisa okuhle. Lokho kusho ukuthi, esikhundleni sokumane ubatshele ukuthi uthini ungenzi thanda, yenza iphuzu lokubatshela ukuthi uthini yenza njenge.
Ngakho-ke, ngolunye usuku kungaba ukwethembeka ngezicathulo, ngakusasa kungaba ukuthi “Ngiyathanda ukuthi usenzele isidlo sakusihlwa, ngiyabonga kakhulu, ngiyabonga.”
Lokhu kubenza bazizwe bethokoziswa esikhundleni sokuhlaselwa, futhi maningi amathuba okuthi baphendule kahle futhi baphinde ukuziphatha.
Ukuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside kubalulekile.
Khumbula ukuthi akukho okuguqukayo ngobusuku obubodwa. Uma uke waba sebudlelwaneni benzondo yothando isikhashana, kungenzeka ukuthi nobabili nijwayele imijikelezo noma ukuvuka nokwehla nokwehla.
Awukwazi ukulindela ukuthi izinto zizilinganise ngokuzumayo, futhi kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuba nezimbalwa zalezo eziphakeme naphansi njengoba nobabili ningena ebudlelwaneni benu obusha obulinganiselayo.
Futhi, ukuxhumana ngobuqotho ngalokhu kuzosiza ngempela - 'Ngiyazi ukuthi besixabene kakhulu izolo, kodwa ngiyakuthanda kakhulu ukuthi sizama ukwenza lo msebenzi.'
Yazi ukuthi udlulela nini.
Vele, akubona bonke ubudlelwano benzondo yothando obuzobenza bube sesigabeni sothando lonke. Lokhu kuyadabukisa, kodwa kunempilo kakhulu ukwamukela ukuthi kungahle kungalungi impela phakathi kwenu nobabili.
kusayina indoda engisebenza naye idlala ngothando
Noma ubathanda kangakanani, noma ubakhanga ngokomzimba, ungahle ungabi ngabalingani abakhulu ekuhambeni kwesikhathi.
Esikhathini esithile, kufanele nazi ukubaluleka kwenu futhi nibone imiphumela ubuhlobo benu obunayo kini - nobabili.
Kwesinye isikhathi, omunye wenu udinga ukuluma inhlamvu bese ephakamisa ukuthi nihlukane… kube kuhle. Kunzima, ikakhulukazi lapho ingxenye yakho uzobe ulindele ukuthi ibuyele 'othandweni' (ngoba ukujwayele kakhulu ukuba kulowo mjikelezo), kepha yenzelwa okungcono kakhulu.
Qiniseka ukuthi unale ngxoxo lapho izinto zilungile phakathi kwenu, ngaphandle kwalokho nobabili ningayichitha ithi ‘ah kahle, sikwenza lokhu njalo lapho silwa, sizobuya sindawonye kusasa, njengokujwayelekile.’
Ukuba ebudlelwaneni benzondo yothando kungacindezela ngokumangazayo futhi kukuphazamise. Uma ufuna ukuwenza usebenze, kukhona izinto ongazama ukuzenza ukuze usindise.
Kwesinye isikhathi, noma kunjalo, udinga ukwazi ukuthi uhamba nini - ukubeka phambili inhlalakahle yakho, futhi wazi ukubaluleka kwakho.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi wenzeni ngobuhlobo bakho benzondo? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
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- Kungani Abanye Abashadikazi Babambekile Emjikelezweni Wokuhlukana Futhi Babuyelane
- I-Push-Pull Relationship Cycle Nokuthi Ungayibalekela Kanjani Le Dynamic
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- Ingabe Ukuphikisana Nempilo Kubudlelwano? (+ Ingabe Abashadikazi Balwa Kangaki?)
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