Ubudlelwano benzelwe ukujabula ingxenye enkulu, akunjalo? Kufanele zinikele enjabulweni yakho.
umtshela kanjani umuntu ukuthi uyamthanda
Kepha njengamanje, okwakho akunjalo.
Ubudlelwano bakho obabunenjabulo noma umshado ubukeka uyisithunzi sobuntu obukade unabo futhi uyazibuza ukuthi ngabe kufanelekile yini ukuthengiselana.
Noma kunjalo, naphezu kwakho konke, uyazi ukuthi usamthanda umlingani wakho.
Yizinye izinto ezibalulekile zobudlelwano bakho ezingagculisi ngokujulile, ezikushiya uzizwa udabukile, ungenathemba, unenzondo, futhi unesizungu, ngezinga elithile.
Kungaba khona noma yiziphi izizathu eziningi zokuziphatha ezikwenza ungajabuli kangako.
Isibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi, okuholela ekulahlekelweni kokuzihlonipha nokudangala, okuye kwaba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Noma mhlawumbe ubudlelwano bakho bube yisikhathi esisodwa sokuxabana nokuphikisana ngokungezwani kwemibono emincane eye yanciphisa injabulo kuyo yonke into eniyenza ndawonye.
Noma mhlawumbe uhlangothi lobudlelwano bakho luye lwancipha lwaba yinto engenamsebenzi, noma lube yisenzo nje, esingenalo uthando lwangempela.
Ungacabanga ukuthi uwedwa ekubhekaneni nenkinga yakho yamanje, kodwa iqiniso ukuthi kuyindlela egqoke kahle. Imibhangqwana eminingi ibikade ukhona manje - abanye kungenzeka babuqedile ubudlelwano babo, kepha abanye baguqula izinto baphinde bachuma futhi, ndawonye.
Nazi ezinye izeluleko zokuthi ungazenza kanjani ezamuva kunalezo zangaphambili ebudlelwaneni bakho.
1. Musa ukuqhathanisa ubuhlobo bakho nabanye.
Ukunganeliseki kwakho kungenzeka kukhuliswe ngokuqhathaniswa okungenakugwemeka okwenzayo nemibhangqwana ejabule ngenjabulo kumbuthano wakho wabangane, esikrinini, nakwabezokuxhumana.
Izwi kulokho: Yima Njengamanje! Ukuqhathanisa, njengoba besho, isela lenjabulo futhi kuholela kuphela osizini nasekungenelisekeni okukhulu.
Eqinisweni, lobo budlelwane bezinganekwane bumbalwa kakhulu futhi buqhelelene kakhulu, nabanye abantu benza konke okusemandleni abo emazingeni ehlukene empumelelo.
Lokho abakhetha ukukukhombisa umhlaba wangaphandle kungenzeka kwehluke kakhulu eqinisweni labo lansuku zonke.
Ungase udlale umdlalo ofanayo ngokwakho, wenze sengathi umhlaba wangaphandle ukuthi konke kuthandeka ngokuphelele ebudlelwaneni bakho noma emshadweni wakho lapho empeleni ungeneme neze.
2. Hlola isimo samanje sobudlelwano bakho.
Kungabonakala sengathi isinqumo sakho besizoba lula kakhulu ukube uthando beluhwamukile. Ubupakisha izikhwama zakho uhambe.
Kepha inqobo nje uma umuzwa usekhona, ubhekene nenkinga.
Kuzoba nemibuzo eminingi engqondweni yakho:
- Kwenzekani othandweni nasekuhloniphaneni ubudlelwano bakho bokuqala obabusekelwe kubo?
- Uhlala isikhathi esingakanani nalesi simo uma sikwenza ungajabuli kangako?
- Ungakwazi ukuthethelela ukuhlala uhleli nokufunda ukuhlala nesimo esikhona manje?
- Yini ongayenza ukuvuselela ubuhlobo obuseduze obukade unabo?
Yinye into eqinisekile: awudingi ukuhlala nomlingani wakho ngoba usamthanda.
Njengoba ubudlelwano bakho bukukhathaza, udinga ukugxila emthonjeni wenhlungu yokukusiza ukuphendula umbuzo obalulekile futhi ongashintsha impilo: kufanele ngihlale noma ngihambe?
Ngokusobala, ngaphambi kokuthi uqhubekele phambili, kuningi ukungakhululeki kokukhethwa kobuhlobo bakho okufanele benziwe, kuhlaziywa ukuthi kungani nokuthi uzithole kanjani lapho ukhona manje uma uqhathanisa nalapho ungathanda ukuba khona.
Akunandaba ukuthi kungabonakala kungathembisi kanjani manje, uma uthatha isinqumo sokuthi ufuna ukuhlala, kunjalo kuyinto kungenzeka ukuthi ufunde ukulungisa ubuhlobo obonakele, ukuvuselela uthando phakathi kwenu, futhi nibe yizithandani ezivumelanayo futhi.
3. Phinda uvule ingxoxo.
Ungalenzi iphutha, impumelelo yanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo incike kuma-C amathathu: ukuxhumana, ukuxhumana, ukuxhumana.
Kulungile, i-C eyodwa kuphela, kepha ibaluleke kangako okufanele uyiphinde.
Ukwenza noma ikuphi ukuhamba phambili, umsebenzi wakho wokuqala kuzoba ukubuyisela iziteshi zokuxhumana okungenzeka ukuthi zancipha zaze zaconsa, yize kungenzeka ukuthi awuzange ukubone kwenzeka.
Yize kungenzeka ukuthi awukuboni lapho umi khona manje, umuntu ongcono kakhulu ukukhuluma ngezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho naye empeleni omunye umuntu okulobo budlelwano.
Ukuthatha isikhathi esithile, kude nokugaya kwansuku zonke, kungaba yindawo enhle yokuqala.
Impelasonto yothando uhamba nayo, ukuhamba ngokukhululeka epaki, noma ukubuyisela ubusuku besikhathi okungenzeka ukuthi buwele eceleni kwendlela, kungakunika ithuba lokuvula kabusha ingxoxo yangempela phakathi kwenu ngendlela engabangi futhi enothando.
Chaza ukuthi kungani ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha zikwenza ungajabuli kangaka bese uzama ukuthola ukuqonda komlingani wakho. Ngokuphindaphindiwe, lalela ngokucophelela uhlangothi lwabo lwendaba.
Ungalindeli i-epiphany yasebusuku, kepha, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izinguquko ekuvunyelwene ngazo ekuziphatheni kufanele zisize ukugqamisa amathemba ebudlelwaneni bakho.
4. Zilungiselele ukuyekethisa.
Uma sengishilo ukuthi kwakukhona ama-3s kuphela, empeleni kukhona eyodwa ebaluleke kakhulu engu-'C 'eyisihluthulelo sempumelelo yabo bonke ubambiswano: Ukuyekethisa!
Ukuhlangana isigamu sendlela kuhlala kuzofinyeleleka kakhulu futhi kube nokusimama kunokuphikelela ekuguqulweni okuphelele noma ekuvuseleleni kabusha.
Vele uqiniseke ukuthi nobabili nenza isabelo senu esifanele sokuyekethisa - ngeke kube nguwe noma nabo abanikela kancane ngenkathi omunye esazitholela indlela yakhe ngaso sonke isikhathi.
5. Yazi ukuthi udweshu lungakhiqiza.
Lapho ukungajabuli kudlanga ebudlelwaneni, ukuxhumana ngomlomo okunengqondo kungaphela.
Izimpikiswano ezingaguquguquki zingaholela ekuphathweni ngokuthula okwesabekayo, ngoba lokho kungabonakala kuyindlela engcono kunokuphikisana ngamazwi.
Womabili la maqembu agcina enyathela amagobongo amaqanda, aqhuqhana ngokushayana ngenxa yokwesaba ukudala izingxabano eziningi.
Lokho konke kuzwakala kukubi kakhulu, kepha iqiniso ukuthi izimpikiswano zingaba zinhle futhi zikhiqize kakhulu uma ziphethwe kahle.
Ukungqubuzana okuyiZero akuvamile ukulingana nobudlelwano obunempilo noma umshado. Esikhundleni salokho, ukuqonda okujulile komunye nomunye kanye namakhono wokuxhumana aphezulu adalwe ukungavumelani okuqinile kepha okunenhlonipho kunika bobabili amaqembu amathuluzi okusebenza nokuxazulula noma yikuphi ukungqubuzana.
Njengoba uphikisana, ungathuthukisa ukuqonda okusondele kakhudlwana kokuthandwa umlingani wakho, izifuba zezilwane zabo, izibazi ezingokomzwelo, njll, okusiza ukwakha ukuxhumana okuqinile phakathi kwakho.
Vele, uma ulwa ngenxa yayo kuphela, usebenzisa ukuhlazeka noma esola amaqhinga okuhlasela umlingani wakho, lokho-ke lokho akwakhi.
Izinto zingaba zimbi kakhulu uma uqhubeka nokukhetha izinkundla ezifanayo ezindala kaninginingi.
Ngakho-ke lokho kusibuyisa ekubalulekeni kwabangane bethu bakudala Ukuxhumana kanye nokuvumelana, okunikeza indlela engcono kakhulu yokuthuthela ekuxazululeni ukungajabuli kwakho nokwakha ubudlelwano obuzinzile.
Iphuzu elilodwa elibaluleke kakhulu ngezimpikiswano: ngenkathi ukungavumelani kungokwemvelo futhi kungaba kuhle, izimpikiswano ezihlukumeza ngokomzwelo noma zomzimba azemukeleki neze. Kulokhu, akukho okunye ongakwenza ngaphandle kokushiya ubudlelwano futhi ufune usizo lochwepheshe uma kunesidingo.
6. Bheka ingxenye oyidlalayo enkingeni.
Abantu abaningi abafuna ukwelulekwa ngobudlelwano bayaqiniseka ukuthi ngabalingani babo abayinkinga. Emehlweni abo, kuyicala eliqondile labamnyama uma kuqhathaniswa nomhlophe.
Akulula neze ukwamukela ukuthi singaba yimbangela yanoma iyiphi inkinga. Ukusola abanye ngezinkinga zethu kungaba yindlela elula yokuphuma, kube lula kakhulu ukwedlula ukwamukela ingxenye yethu yomthwalo wemfanelo.
Ukugxila ezindleleni eziningi umlingani wakho okwenza ukuthi ungajabuli kuyinto eyodwa. Ukucabanga, esikhundleni salokho, mayelana nokuthi kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi ube necala lokwembulwa kobudlelwano bakho kuzovumela ushintsho lwombono, okungenza ukuthi ukwazi ukubona ukuthi ukubola kuqale kuphi.
Mhlawumbe akuyena umlingani wakho okwenza ungajabuli, kodwa ukukhungatheka kwakho mayelana nomsebenzi ongagcwalisi noma ezinye izinkinga zangaphandle.
Bamba ujule kancane, uthembeke kuwe futhi kungenzeka uthole imininingwane ethile ewusizo.
Khumbula ukuthi noma yibuphi ubudlelwano buqukethe abantu ababili abanamaphutha ababheka impilo ngezindlela ezimbili ezihlukene, bathwelwe ubunzima ngokuhlangenwe nakho kokuphila okuhlukile, ama-quirks, imikhuba, kanye namandla.
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Akumangalisi neze ukuthi ukwehluka kwemibono nokukhungatheka kuvela endleleni.
Ukuthuthukisa ukuqonda kwakho ukuthi unikela kanjani ezingxabanweni, nokulungisa indlela oziphethe ngayo, kungasiza kakhulu ekwakheni kabusha ukuhloniphana, ukuxhuma nokwazisa.
7. Ungazinaki izidingo zakho.
Lapho ubudlelwano budala ukungajabuli, kuyalinga kakhulu ukungcwaba ikhanda lakho ngokuqinile esihlabathini, njengensumpa eyisaga.
Inkinga ngale ndlela ukuthi ukuzigaxa kokuzidabukela ngokuvamile kubangela ukungajabuli okukhulu.
Uma lokhu kuchaza indlela oziphatha ngayo njengamanje, kudingeka ukuzinakekela okunamandla.
Lapho uqala ukuzizwa ungcono ngawe, uzoba sesimweni esinamandla sokubhekana nezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Qiniseka ukuthi uchitha isikhathi wenza izinto ezikulethela injabulo, kungaba ukuhamba ehlathini, ukuhlangana nomndeni, noma ukuzihlalela nabangani.
Bheka indlela odla ngayo futhi uhlole ukuthi udla kahle yini, ngoba kukhona ukuxhumana okuqinile kunalokho abaningi bethu abakubonayo phakathi kokudla okunempilo kanye nenhlalakahle ejwayelekile. Ukufuna induduzo kubhavu ngemuva kwebhavu likaBen & Jerry akuyona indlela yokuhamba!
Ukuzivocavoca umzimba kuxhumeke ngokungenakuhlukaniswa nempilo enhle yengqondo, ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi nawe uthola okwanele kwalokho.
Lokhu kugudluka kokugcizelela, ukuzibeka wena maphakathi nendawo kunokugxila ekuphumeni kobudlelwano bakho obunezinkinga, ekugcineni kuzokunika amandla athe xaxa okuthola okungahambanga kahle nokuthi kungani, nokuqala ukukulungisa.
8. Gxila ebunganeni bakho.
Ukuzinika isikhathi sokucabanga ngezinto ezenze umlingani wakho wakhanga kuwe yindawo enhle yokuqala.
Yiziphi izinto ezimnandi enazenza ndawonye? Yini elethe injabulo yenu nobabili? Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi umazi ngempela umlingani wakho nanamuhla njengoba wawenza emuva lapho?
Singabelana ngezindonga ezine ezifanayo, kodwa ingabe siyakunaka ngempela ukuthandwa nokungathandwa komunye nomunye futhi ingabe siyazi ngempela ukuthi yini eyenza omunye umkhaza?
Ukuhlola ukuthi wazi kangakanani ngomunye nomunye kungaba yindlela emnandi yokuzibandakanya, futhi ngaleyo ndlela uxhumane ngokujulile nomlingani wakho.
Lolu hambo lokutholana ngokubambisana lungaba nenhliziyo elula futhi lungabangi besebenzisa enye yamasethi amaningi wamakhadi asheshayo noma izinhlelo zokusebenza ezenzelwe imibhangqwana.
9. Ungenzi ukucabanga.
Kulula kakhulu ukucabanga ukuthi oshade naye noma umlingani wakho uyazi ukuthi awujabule kangakanani.
Kusobala, akunjalo? Kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi angazi lapho ubulokhu unikeza zonke izimpawu?
Kepha ubatshele ngamazwi amaningi kangaka?
Akunandaba ukuthi nihlale isikhathi eside kangakanani ndawonye, futhi nikholelwa kanjani ukuthi izindlela zenu zokucabanga bezilokhu zikhona, akunakwenzeka ukuthi bazi yonke imicabango yenu yangaphakathi.
Noma ngabe banezinsolo zabo, ngokunokwenzeka bazokhetha ukungayinaki intuition yabo ngoba abafuni ukukholelwa ukuthi kukhona okunye ngaphandle kokujabula ngokujabula. Kubuhlungu kakhulu ukuthi bakholelwe ngenye indlela.
Ngakho-ke kuwumsebenzi wakho ukusetha izinto ngombala omnyama nomhlophe, kepha ngaso sonke isikhathi ngomoya ophansi futhi ngaphandle kokumangalela.
Uma wenza lokhu, banikeze ithuba lokungabaza, futhi ubanciphise kancane njengoba bethola iqiniso lemizwa yakho yangempela.
Ukuchaza izinto ngale ndlela, nokunakekela ukulalela umbono womlingani wakho, nakho, kuzosiza ekwakheni kabusha amabhuloho angokomzwelo.
10. Yiba khona ebudlelwaneni.
Lapho ungajabule ebudlelwaneni bakho noma emshadweni wakho, kulula kakhulu ukuhoxa kulesosimo ngengqondo. Ungaba khona ngokwenyama kepha ingqondo yakho imatasa kwenye indawo.
Esikhundleni sokulalela empeleni lapho umlingani wakho ezama ukukutshela ngokukhuphuka naphansi kosuku lwabo lokusebenza, ungahle ubhekane nefoni yakho ehlakaniphile, uvuselele isimo sakho, noma ucabange ukuthi uzophekelani ukudla kwakusihlwa.
Zama ukwenza umzamo wokunikeza umlingani wakho ukunaka kwakho okuhlukanisiwe futhi ulalele ngempela lokho abakushoyo.
Uma bephakamisa ukuthi niyoshaywa umoya, niyodla ndawonye, noma nibuke i-movie okungeyona uhlobo lwentandokazi yakho, ungavele ubalahle. Kancane kancane, lokhu kwenqatshwa okuphindaphindwayo kubeka uqhekeko olukhulu phakathi kwakho.
Ukwabelana ngemisebenzi nomlingani wakho kungakusiza ukuthi uphinde uthole umdlandla wokubambisana ngezinto enizijabulele ndawonye esikhathini esedlule.
11. Zama ukuba nengxoxo ezuzisayo nsuku zonke.
Lapho nobabili nibhajwe emsebenzini omatasatasa ongapheli, imisebenzi yasekhaya, izimali zasendlini, ukunakekelwa kwengane, nezinye izinto ezenziwayo, into yokugcina okungenzeka ufuna ukukhuluma ngayo yisimo sobudlelwano bakho nesimo sakho seqiniso.
Ukwenza umzamo oqondile wokubuzana nsuku zonke, noma imizuzu emifushane eyi-10, kuzokunikeza nobabili ithuba lokukhuluma ngemizwa yenu nanganoma yiziphi izingcindezi enibhekene nazo.
Lokhu kwehliswa okuhlangene kuzonisiza nobabili ukuba nibe nokuqonda okwengeziwe.
Veza ukubonga ngezinto ezenziwe umlingani wakho. Qinisekisa ukugcina izinto zansuku zonke zingaphandle kwengxoxo. Gxila kuphela ekutheni nizizwa kanjani nobabili futhi nikhuluma ngezinto eningathanda ukuqala (noma ukuyeka) ukuzenza njengabantu abashadile.
12. Funa usizo lwangaphandle.
Ukuzama ukulungisa ubuhlobo bakho obungajabulisi wedwa ngeke kube umsebenzi olula.
Ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho ngomelaphi ongahluleli kungakusiza ukuthi ubone isikhundla sakho kusuka komunye umbono nangokucaca okukhulu.
Bazokwazi ukuhlinzeka ngombono othembekile, onenhloso yokuziphatha kwakho kanye nobalingani bakho nobudlelwano bakho jikelele.
Ukusebenzisa amanye amasu avezwe ngenhla, nokwabelana ngezinkinga zakho nodokotela wezobudlelwano kungakusiza ukuthi uphinde uthole ukulingana empilweni yakho futhi mhlawumbe uphinde uthole injabulo oyifunayo ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Sincoma insizakalo eku-inthanethi kusuka ku-Relationship Hero ukusiza ukubuyisela ubudlelwano bakho esimweni. Ungaba nezikhathi kusuka kwenduduzo yekhaya lakho bese uthola izeluleko ezithile nokuzivocavoca okudingayo ukuze ubuyise injabulo ebudlelwaneni bakho. ukuxoxa nothile noma ukuhlela iseshini yesikhathi esizayo.
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Ukuthi ufunde kuze kufike ekugcineni kwalesi siqephu kusikisela ukuthi awukaze ubushiye phansi ubudlelwano bakho, futhi uzimisele ukwamukela inselelo yokwenza izinguquko ezidingekayo ukuze ubulondoloze, futhi uze ubuthuthukise, uye phambili .
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma singekho lesi seluleko esisebenza nawe futhi ungazizwa unamandla, noma intando eyenele, yokuletha ushintsho ebudlelwaneni bakho ukukwenza ujabule ngokweqiniso, mhlawumbe awunakho ukuzikhethela ngaphandle ukuhamba.
Ababhali bezinganekwane nabalingisi bemidlalo yeshashalazi bebengathanda ukuthi uthando lunqobe konke, kepha empeleni, ubudlelwane obulinganiselayo, nobenelisa buthatha okungaphezulu kothando ukubenza busebenze.
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