Abantu basabela ezimweni ezicindezelayo nezethusayo ngezindlela ezahlukene, futhi kukhona nomehluko ophawuliwe phakathi kwezindlela zokuzivikela ezisetshenziswa abesilisa nabesifazane. Lokhu kungokwejwayelekile, yebo, isimilo singaba kuyo yonke imikhakha futhi ngokuqinisekile akugcini kwabobulili obufanayo, kepha kunezindlela ezithile ezisetshenziswa kakhulu ngabesifazane bezinhlobo.
Ukuphika
Impendulo yokwenqaba iholela kuningi 'cha, lokhu akwenzeki'. Uma isimo singakhululeki kakhulu noma sibuhlungu ukubhekana ubuso nobuso, khona-ke umuntu angavele enze sengathi cha, akwenzeki nhlobo. Bazophazamiseka ngezinye izinto, bagcine ukumamatheka kugxunyekwe ebusweni babo, begcizelela ukuthi konke KULUNGILE nje ngiyabonga kakhulu. Cha, cha, akukho ongakubona lapha, qhubeka.
Ezimweni zokuhlukumezeka ebuntwaneni, ukwenqatshwa kungasiza ohlukunyezwayo ukuba abhekane nakho ngokukhiya izinto kude kwenye indawo, sengathi azikaze zenzeke. Ezimweni lapho owesifazane angahle abhekane nokugula okungaguli, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukwenqaba kungahlala isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba ukugula kuqhubeke futhi uphoqeleka ukuba abhekane neqiniso… futhi lolo hlobo lweqiniso ngemuva kokuphikwa okunzima lungalimaza kakhulu.
Ukwenziwa Kokusabela
Lesi yisici esivame ukuthuthuka kulabo abahlangabezane nokuhlukunyezwa ebusheni babo esikhundleni sokuveza izinto ezifana nentukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka komunye umuntu, bazoba mnandi kakhulu futhi babe nomusa emzameni wokugwema ukungqubuzana. Kunjengokungathi uzobonisa isimilo esiphambene nalokho afuna ukukwenza. Ngoba uhlelwe kakhulu ukuthi aqede imizwa yakhe ebizwa ngokuthi 'engemihle', uzodlula ngokweqile nge-180-degree spin ephelele.
Kuvame kakhulu ekuhlulekeni kobudlelwano, lapho owesifazane onqanda izingxabano ezophuma endleleni yakhe yenza umlingani wakhe azizwe enakekelwa futhi ethandwa esikhundleni sokuveza intukuthelo yakhe noma ukukhungatheka. Akafuni ukwenza umlingani ahlanye noma acasuke ngoba wesaba ukusabela kwabo, ngakho-ke, engakwazi ukuveza ukulimala nokukhungatheka kwakhe, ukuhambisa kube “nokuhle” ngokomzwelo.
Abangcwabi baphonsa isintu esihogweni esitokisini se-reddit
Ingcindezelo
Ngokuyinhloko, lokhu kuhilela nje ukwenza sengathi isimo asenzekanga, ngokungazi sishaye izinkumbulo nemizwelo engxenyeni ethile engezansi yengqondo. Ngenye yezindlela eziyingozi kakhulu, ngoba, njengesilonda esinegciwane esishiywa singelashwa, ukunganaki kuzokhula kuqhakaze kuze kuqhume ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene… kepha umuntu ocindezela imizwa akuvamile ukwenza kanjalo ngamabomu ingqondo ikwenza lokhu nje umzamo wokuvikela ogulayo. Lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka njengomphumela wokuhlukumezeka, njengokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, noma ukubona udlame lomunye komunye.
Imizwelo ecindezelweyo ingabonakalisa ukukhathazeka noma ukwethuka, ukucindezeleka, ukwesaba ebusuku, noma ukuqhuma ezimeni ezingahlobene ngokuphelele. Okubi kunakho konke ukuthi, uma izingqinamba zicindezelwa futhi zingasetshenzwa ngokushesha, zingakhula futhi ziguquke zibe yinto ebi kakhulu, imininingwane idanyazwe futhi ihunyushwe kabi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, noma yakhelwe esimweni esibi kakhulu.
Ubuhlakani
Lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka lapho owesifazane kufanele abhekane nesimo esinzima ukuthi akasilungele ngempela ngokomzwelo, futhi ujwayelekile kulabo abanemfundo ephakeme noma abasemikhakheni eqinile yokusebenza. Esikhundleni sokwamukela nokubhekana nemizwa evela esimweni esishiwo, lo muntu uzohoxa ngokomzwelo futhi asondele ezintweni ngombono womuntu ongeyena umuntu.
Isibonelo, uma owesifazane kutholakala ukuthi unesifo esibi, kunokuba azivumele ukuthi azizwe futhi aveze ukukhathazeka nosizi oluhambisana nakho, angahle aphelelwe amandla ngokomzwelo futhi akhulume ngakho ngendlela elawulwa kakhulu, enengqondo. Uzogxila emaqinisweni futhi aziqhelelanise nanoma ikuphi ukusabela komuntu siqu. Angazicwilisa uma kwenzeka izifundo, acaphune amazinga okusinda, futhi aqhubeke abe nama-stoic kanye nemitholampilo… kuze kufike isikhathi lapho ehlehla khona.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Amaqhinga ama-5 wokubheka nokubhekana nokuziphatha okungahambisani nolaka
- I-Psychology Of Projection: Imizwa eyi-8 Sidlulisela Kwabanye
- Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukuthukuthela: Izigaba Ezi-7 Ezisuka Ekufuthekeni Ukuze Zikhishwe
- Izindlela Ezi-6 Zokuzibulala Akufanele Uphendule Ekugxekweni
- Ungayilawula Kanjani Imizwelo Yakho Ezimweni Ezidinga Ikhanda Elipholile
Ukuqagela
Lokhu kungenzeka lapho umuntu ezwa imizwa ethile azizwa enamahloni okuba nayo, ngakho-ke basola abanye ngokuthi banayo esikhundleni salokho. Kusukela ebuntwaneni, amantombazane agcwala umcabango wokuthi kufanele abe muhle ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngakho-ke imizwa enjengolaka, ukukhungatheka, nokunye okunjalo kubhekwa njengokubi futhi kungafanele kuthakazelelwe. Njengalokhu, abesifazane bavame ukuhambisa imizwa yabo ngezindlela ezihlukile izinkomba ukuze uzidedele.
Owesifazane angahle akhwele athonze umngani wakhe ngokuba engajulile futhi ukwahlulela , kanti empeleni nguyena okhombisa lezo zimfanelo kodwa engafuni ukuzivuma. Ukubiza omunye umuntu ngobudlabha, kabi, kubi, noma kusho okubi kuvamile futhi, futhi kukhuluma kakhulu ngezinkinga zokuzethemba zommangaleli.
Sivame ukugxeka abanye ngezici esingazithandi kithi. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kulula kakhulu ukubeka omunye umuntu phansi ngalokho esikubona njengokuthambekela kwakhe okungalungile kunokuvuma izindaba zethu.
Ungatshela ukuthi ngabe kukhona umuntu ovelela kuwe uma ekwazisa ukuthi ucabangani noma uzizwa kanjani kunokuba akubuze. Ukugcizelela ukuthi abanye abantu ababathandi nakho kujwayelekile kakhulu, kanti empeleni kuvamisile ukuthi kube icala lokuthi lowo okhalazayo kube nguye ongamthandi omunye.
Ukuhanjiswa
Owesifazane angesaba ukuveza ulaka nokukhungatheka kwakhe kumlingani wakhe, ngakho-ke uzokhipha noma azishaye izingane zakhe, ikakhulukazi uma umlingani wakhe ebusa kakhulu futhi emenza azizwe engenamandla. Uzokhiphela ukukhathazeka kwakhe kumuntu ongamsabisi. Lokhu futhi kujwayelekile kakhulu emsebenzini uma umsebenzi wesifazane ekhuzwa ngumuntu ophethe, uzojikela kaningi futhi athuke noma akhuze umuntu ongaphansi kwakhe. Kuyindlela yakhe yokubuyisa umuzwa wamandla omuntu lapho ezwa ukuthi okwakhe kuthathiwe.
Vele, lokhu kugcina kubangele ukuqhuma kwangaphandle njengalapho itshe liphonswa echibini. Labo besifazane abangaphansi kwabo bangabonisa nokuthambekela okungokomzwelo okushiye amakhaya abo, ngakho-ke ngemuva kokuqanjwa kabusha ngumphathi wabo, bangase bakuguqule bese bekhalela abanye nabo, noma bakhahlele izilwane zabo ezifuywayo, noma bamemeze abantu abangahleliwe abathatha isikhathi eside esitolo, njengokuthi ukushaqeka okubanzi okubanga imiphumela emibi ehlala njalo evela kumthombo okude.
Iyahlehlisa
Okwaziwa nangokuthi ukubuyiselwa emuva, ukuhlehlisa ngokuvamile kukhombisa isinxephezelo esidlangile esivelele sokona. Owesifazane angahlambalaza udadewabo ngokukhuluphala, abone umonakalo awenzile, bese echitha amahora ambalwa ebabaza ubuhle bezinwele zikadadewabo, nokuthi izinzipho zakhe zibukeka zizinhle kanjani, njll. Njengoba inqubo isho, empeleni umzamo ontengantengayo wokulungisa umonakalo ngokugcwalisa umuntu olimele ngokuzethemba.
Lokhu akuvamile ukusebenza, njengoba 'izwi elikhulunywayo lingenakubanjwa amahhashi anejubane'. Umonakalo usuwenzile, futhi ukuphonsa inqwaba yoju enxebeni ngeke kulivale.
Kunezindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nezimo ezingokomzwelo, kepha lezi zinqubo aziweli kuleso sigaba. Ngenhlanhla, isinyathelo sokuqala sokunqoba lezi zinhlobo zokuziphatha ukuzibona ukuthi ziyini. Kunzima ukukwenza thembeka futhi uzibhekele ngokwakho futhi uthembeke ngempela ngamasu owasebenzisayo, kepha ngokwenza njalo, kungathathwa izinyathelo zokulandela izindlela zokubhekana nempilo ngokuzayo.
Uma unenkinga yokuqhubekela phambili kusuka ezinkambisweni obe uncike kuzo iminyaka, ungabi nomuzwa wokuthi udinga amandla ngazo kuphela. Abeluleki, abelaphi, kanye nochwepheshe bezengqondo bakhona ngesizathu sokusiza abantu bakwazi ukubhekana nobunzima futhi babe ngabantu abaphilile, abanamandla. Ukuthola usizo lochwepheshe akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka, kepha kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile sokuba ngumuntu onempilo, ozethembayo, ophelele.
Ngabe zikhona ezinye izindlela ozivikela ngenhla ekuziphatheni kwakho? Ngabe kukhona abanye esilahlekile ohlwini? Shiya amazwana ngezansi ngemicabango yakho.
