Ngokwethembeka konke, bambalwa kakhulu abantu abakujabulelayo ukuvuma ukona.
Akukho ukugijimela kwe-dopamine okuhambisana nokuxolisa.
Akukho ukuzijula okujulile, okungokomzwelo lapho ngithi “bengingalungile.”
Futhi nakanjani asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi lowo oxolayo uzosabela kahle.
Khona-ke, akumangalisi ukuthi abantu abaningi kangaka bayokwenqaba ngokuqinile ukuxolisa noma ukuvuma ukuthi babenephutha.
Nazi izizathu ezi-8 zokuthi kungani abantu benqena ukuthi ngiyaxolisa.
uhlala kuphi tana mongeau
1. Bayesaba Ukubukwa Njengababuthakathaka
Kokunye okudinga isibindi ukufeza njengokuvuma okungalungile noma ukuxolisa, imiphakathi yasentshonalanga ichitha isikhathi esiningi ifaka ubuthakathaka besenzo.
'Yima phansi, ungabuyeli emuva, ungabi yi-punk' ngezinye zezinkulumo ezinobuthi ongase uzizwe.
Kodwa-ke, ukuxolisa akufani nokuzithoba komunye, noma ukuzwa isidingo esedlula zonke, njalo sokuvikela ithenda lomuntu ngokungenabubele.
Ukuvuma ukuthi wonile othile kudinga ukuba nozwela nokuzihlonipha ngokwanele wena nabanye abasempilweni yakho ukuvuma ukuthi ubethemba ukuthi ungubani.
Ukuzethemba okunjalo akufanele kuthathwe njengobuthakathaka.
2. Bayesaba Ukuziphindiselela
Abanye abantu bahlala ngaphakathi kwebhola lehlo neso lapho noma yikuphi ukungalungi abavuma ukuthi - bazizwa - nakanjani kuzobuye kubhekwe kubo.
Ngakho-ke into yokugcina abafuna ukuyenza ukuthi bazivulele inketho ebuhlungu kangaka.
Laba ngabantu abangenayo impela wafunda ukuthembela kwabanye .
Enye indlela yokubhekana nazo ukusetha imingcele eqinile nxazonke imingcele yakho, okungukuthi, ungazivumeli zisondele kakhulu ezintweni eziyinhloko ezibalulekile kuwe ukuthi zizokwazi ukukucasula.
Umuntu angathemba ukuthi singakwazi ukwenza lolu hlobo lomuntu lufunde ukuthembela, kepha ngaphandle kokuthi sibe nendlela yokuthambisa ibhubesi lisebenzisa amahlumela, uhambo lwabo lokuthembela, ukwethembeka, nokuba sengozini kuzoba yinto ende, enzima.
kufanele ngiyeke amaphupho ami
3. Bayesaba Ukulahlekelwa Othile
Kunomqondo osontekile lapho ucabanga, 'Ngikulimazile, kepha ukulungisa izinto kuzoqhubeka kukuzwise ubuhlungu uze uhambe.'
Olunye uvalo olunameva kakhulu ngemuva kokungafuni ukuxolisa noma ukuvuma ukona kungumqondo okhubazekile wokulahlekelwa othile noma okuthile ngenxa yalokho.
Lokhu kwesaba kuhlupha abantu abadinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo, futhi kungabhekanwa nakho ngokuvuleka nokuthembeka ngangokunokwenzeka.
Hola ngesibonelo. Uma bebona ukuthi asikasuki ezimpilweni zabo emaphutheni ethu, bangavuma kalula awabo.
4. Bayesaba Ukungapheleli
Umuntu uyazibuza ukuthi impilo ebingaba nzima kanjani uma wonke umuntu ongashadile evuka njalo ekuseni bese ethatha isikhashana azitshele athi, 'Ngingumuntu.'
Sonke siyawenza amaphutha. Sonke senza izinqumo ezingezinhle. Sonke senza izinto esingahle sizenze emuva.
Ukukwazi ukukubona lokho futhi sisebenze ukulungisa amaphutha ethu kudinga umusa nozwela.
Labo abanomuzwa wokuthi akumele babhekwe njengabantu “abaphelele” bafihla ukwesaba futhi ukungazethembi ezingenzi lutho ngaphandle kokusebenzela ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwazo nabanye.
Ukwamukelwa kukhulu kakhulu kulaba bantu. Basize ngokubazisa ukuthi bayathandwa. Bakhumbuze ngobumnene ukuthi amaphutha awanakugwemeka, nokuthi lokho kuqondile ukuqamba amanga kwabanye njengomuntu njengomoya ophefumulayo.
Uma bazi ukuthi ngeke ubathethise ngephutha lezindlela zabo, bangavuma ngokwengeziwe ukuvuma ukuthi babenephutha.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukubalekela Izinkinga Zakho Futhi Ubhekane Nazo Ngokuxazulula Ngesibindi
- Izindlela Ezi-9 Zokubhekana Nokukhashelwa Nokuphulukiswa Okuvela Kubuhlungu
- Izindlela Zokuziphatha Ezi-9 Ezingahle Zixoshe Abangane Bakho
- Ungakuyeka Kanjani Okwedlule Uyeke Ukuvula Amanxeba Amadala
- Izizathu eziyi-8 Abanye Abantu Benqaba Ukukhula Bebe Abantu Abadala Abavuthiwe
- Kungani Abanye Abantu Bekhohlakele Kangaka, Bengenanhlonipho, Futhi Bengahloniphi Abanye?
5. Bajabulela Isiphithiphithi
Kukhona labo, ngenxa yezizathu zabo ezisontekile, abakujabulelayo ukwengamela usizi.
Ukugodla nokwenza okungalungile kubondle. AbakwaNarcissists bakwenza ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ama-Masochists nawo.
Manje-ke, singabhekana kanjani nomuntu ohlose ukudala izimo ezidinga ukuxolisa kwakhe?
Okulula: umuntu akenzi.
Njengalabo abangafundanga ukwethemba abanye, kuwukuhlakanipha ukugcina imingcele kulaba bantu.
Ngabe ujohn cena unezingane
Ngokusebenzayo ngoba bazobheka imifantu nemifantu kuzo zonke izindonga bese beshibilika ngokushesha ukuze isigaxa esikhulu sedrama abahlose ukuyethula sizokubamba ungazelele.
Uma amakhosi anjalo ezinxushunxushu engakukhohlisa ukuthi uxolise ngakho yabo ukwenza okungalungile, basuthi ngomuzwa wokuthi bathole inkokhelo yabo engokomzwelo yosuku.
6. Bayaziwa
Umuntu angabanjwa egqoke ibhulukwe phansi, afakwe isandla embizeni yekhukhi, abambe inkohliso eshidi ebunzini lakhe, nomazisi ongumbombayi abamemezele njengoPapa Clemente - futhi ngandlela-thile akwazi ukuba yinyamazane eyisaga emalambini uma kuziwa ekubizelweni emaphutheni abo .
Yini okufanele uyenze nomuntu ongakhohlwa? Isayensi kusamele ikuthole lokho.
Kuyavunywa, kunabaningi abahlalisana nabantu noma abahlala endaweni ebanzi, ngakho-ke balahlekelwa yikhono lokuthola izinkomba zomphakathi ezibonakala kalula eningini lesintu, kepha ukunganaki kungangena kujule kakhulu kunalokho.
Ingozi yokungakhohlwa ukuthi kungaba yindlela yokufunda, evikela futhi iqoqe umfundi, ikwenze kube nzima njengedayimane ukugqekeza.
Bazoxolisa uma ngabe umuzwa wecala ithola ukushukunyiswa okwanele ngaphandle, kepha ungalindeli ukuthi lokhu kuzofika ngokushesha noma ngaphandle kokukukhombisa.
7. Banenkani
Ukuba nenkani kuyinhlanganisela yakho konke ukushiyeka kwangaphambilini.
Abantu abanenkani bayazazi izikhundla zabo, bayazi ukuthi banecala, bayazi ngobuhlungu babanye, futhi bayazi ukuthi ukuxolisa okulula noma ukuvuma ukona kungathatha isimo kusuka kushushu kuze kubekezeleleke.
KODWA, bayazivikela ekwenzeni lokho ngokomthetho, noma ngabe yisiphi leso simiso.
Indlela engcono yokwenza umuntu onenkani ukuthi axolise ngokungabavumeli benze lokho abakuthandayo. Shayela i-bluff yabo. Qiniseka ngesidingo sokuxazululwa.
Lapho bebona ukuthi izimiso zabo zokuzivikela azisho lutho, ngokujwayelekile - yize bekhononda - bazoza.
8. Abafuni Ukuhamba Kuqala
Izinkinga ukuthi sonke sinaye lowo muntu empilweni yethu osithukuthelisile, futhi thina, bona, nawo wonke amaqembu besazi ukuthi ukuxolisa kolunye uhlobo kuyadingeka.
uchungechunge lokusinda kwe-wwe ngoNovemba 22
Abaningi bethu bazoba ngabokuqala ukunikela ngamahloni lelo gatsha lomnqumo, kukhululeka okukhulu kubo bonke abathintekayo.
Kepha kukhona labo abenqabayo ukuqala inqubo yokwelashwa.
Abanye bazokwenqaba ngisho nethuba lokuxolisa ngemuva elinye iqembu linakho.
Ungabhekana kanjani nabantu abanjalo ngaphandle kokuthukuthela noma ukunqamula ubuhlobo ngokuphelele?
Baqondise ngokushukumisa okuncane.
Ukubuza ukuthi 'ngabe ubuzosho okuthile?' ngesikhathi esipholile, umzuzu ongenabungozi uyindlela enhle yokubenza bakhubeke baqonde isimo, ngoba ukuxolisa kuhlala kusengqondweni yabo, akuze kwenzeke.
Enye indlela enhle yokubhekana nalolu hlobo ukubhekana nenhloko yokuxolisa / yokwamukela engaziwa.
“Sidinga ukukhuluma,” noma ukwehluka kwako, kubazise ukuthi usho ibhizinisi. Kugxila ezingqondweni zabo futhi kuvimbele okunye ukubambezeleka noma iziphazamiso.
