Abanye abantu banolaka kakhulu.
Futhi kungokwemvelo ukubuza ukuthi kungani.
Lapho uthola impendulo ebi evela kothile osesimweni esithile, ingakuthinta ngempela…
… Ikakhulukazi lapho ukusabela okunjalo kungafanele ngokuphelele futhi kungafanele.
Impela, akuyona into entsha. Isimo somuntu asikaze sibe yindawo enhle lapho wonke umuntu enomusa ongashabalali, ecabangayo, futhi ehloniphayo.
Bekulokhu kukhona futhi kuzohlala kukhona abantu abakhohlakele, abahlambalazayo nabangahloniphi.
Kepha Ama-60% amaMelika cabanga ukuthi ukuziphatha budlabha kuyanda.
Futhi mhlawumbe kuyisimo esifanayo nakwamanye amazwe amaningi.
Kodwa kungani? Kungani abanye abantu bagcina ngale ndlela?
umyeni wami uhlala ebonakala engicasukela
Izimbangela Ezimbili Zobuhlazo
Yize ukukhungatheka nengcindezi yempilo yanamuhla ngokusobala kuyisici, kunamathonya nezimo eziningi ezenza abantu babe luhlaza, bangahloniphi futhi bangacabangeli.
Ake sithathe indlela ehlaziya kakhulu futhi sicabangele ukuthi ngabe kungaba khona okungaphezu nje kokukhululeka kwethu okungu-21stindlela yokuphila yekhulu leminyaka ngemuva kokukhula kobuhlanya.
Yiziphi ezinye izimbangela ezingaba khona?
1. Ukuzinyeza
Ukubhekwa ngokucophelela kwabantu abaningi abanolaka kuzoveza ukuthi abazethembi kakhulu, banokuzethemba okuphansi kanye nokuntula ukuqonda ngokuziphatha komuntu.
Njengoba umlobi wamanoveli waseBrazil uPaul Coelho ephawula ngesankahlu: “Indlela abantu abaphatha ngayo abanye ibonisa ngokuqondile indlela abazizwa ngayo ngabo.”
Uma umuntu ezithathela yena ngombono ongemuhle nobucayi njalo, leso simo sengqondo nakanjani siyothinta indlela ababheka ngayo abanye.
Abantu abanokuzethemba okuphansi bavame ukufihla ukuphepha kwabo ngokuguqula imisipha yabo yomlomo, ukuba luhlaza futhi babe nesibindi, ngomzamo wokuzizwa beqinile.
2. Izinkinga Zakho
Akekho kithi ovikelekile ekuzizweleni ukucindezeleka okuhlobene nobudlelwano bethu obuseduze, umsebenzi wethu, noma ezinye izinto eziningi.
Akunandaba ukuthi sicabanga ukuthi siphatha kahle kanjani ubucayi bomuntu siqu, kunezikhathi lapho ukukhungatheka kwethu nentukuthelo yethu kusenza siqhume ngamazwi ezimweni esivamise ukuhamba ngomkhumbi simomotheka.
Kulokhu, kufanele kukhunjulwe ukuthi YITHI esiyibo abahlambalazayo noma abanonya.
Lapho siphansi kwengcindezi enjalo, kulula ukwenza ngaphambi kokucabanga nokwenza noma ukusho izinto ezingenanhlonipho nezimbi kakhulu.
indlela yokubhekana nabangane abaqamba amanga
Leso yisizathu esihle sokunciphisa abanye kancane uma uzizwa uphatheke kabi ngokuziphatha kwabo okungenanhlonipho. Ngeke nje wazi ukuthi yimiphi imicimbi yamanje edlala ezimpilweni zabanye nganoma yisiphi isikhathi.
3. Ukuziphatha Okufundiwe
Azikho izinhlelo ezimbili zenani emindenini nasekukhuleni okufanayo. Uma ukhuliswe endaweni yasekhaya lapho amagama anokhahlo ayejwayelekile futhi kwakungeyona into engavamile ukuthi izinto ziphonswe ngomsindo, ngokusobala ubungakubona lokho njengokuziphatha okwamukelekayo.
Futhi-ke, kungenzeka futhi kube kubi kakhulu kunalokho. Ukuhlala onqenqemeni sekungene ngaphakathi kulaba bantu futhi, ngenxa yalokho, baphendula ngokufanele lapho bethukutheliswe abanye.
Laba bantu abazi lutho kangcono, hhayi ukuvezwa enye indlela yokubhekana nengcindezi.
4. Ukuphazamiseka Komuntu
Okuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo okungahambi kahle nokuthukuthele kwengane njengalokho okuchazwe ngenhla kungaholela ekukhuleni kokuphazamiseka kobuntu uqobo futhi ekugcineni kube nokuziphatha okubonakala njengokukhohlakele, ukudelela noma ukungahloniphi.
Akumangalisi neze lapho imingcele eyamukelekayo emphakathini yokuxhumana kwabantu ingazange ibe lukhuni phakathi neminyaka ethandekayo.
Labo abanezimo ezinjengeBorderline Personality Disorder neNarcissistic Personality Disorder bavame ukubonakala bedelela noma bengacabangeli ngenxa ye- ukungabi naluzwela nokuthambekela kokungayinaki imizwa yabanye.
5. Ukwehluka Kwamasiko
Ezweni lethu elinamasiko amaningi, elihlala lincipha, lapho sihlala sihlangana nabantu abavela kwamanye amazwe ababuswa izindinganiso ezihluke ngokuphelele nezindlela zokuziphatha, lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho esingakucabanga.
Okucatshangwa ukuthi kuyindelelo nokuziphatha okungamukeleki kwesinye isiko kungahle kukhuthazwe kwesinye.
Abantu baseJalimane, ngokwesibonelo, abanalo uvalo lokukhuluma okucabangayo, kanti abaseBrithani bazoshaya bazungeze ihlathi ngokungapheli kunokuba basho abakucabangayo.
KumaBrithani-ke, umuntu okhuluma eqonde kahle waseJalimane akananhlonipho futhi uyathuka, kanti amaJalimane azokhungatheka ngenxa yendlela yaseBrithani.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Ungazimela Kanjani Futhi Ungabi Idokodo
- Izimpawu eziyi-10 zeTelltale Zomuntu Obuhlungu (Nokuthi Ungamphatha Kanjani)
- Okwenza Abanye Abantu Bangaze Baxolise Noma Bavume Ukuthi Abalungile
- Umuzwa Welungelo: 5 Izimpawu Ezicacile Othile Anazo
- I-Psychology Of Projection: Imizwa eyi-8 Sidlulisela Kwabanye
6. 'Ubunzima Bengqondo' Obubangelwa Ukugcwala Kwezobuchwepheshe
Ngaphandle kokungabaza, ukukhuphuka okusheshayo kwedatha yedijithali nobuchwepheshe kuholele ekukhuleni okucacile kwejubane lempilo.
Juggling omakhalekhukhwini , ukugcizelela no-oh-so-hard-to-ignore izimfuno zokuxhumana nabantu, nokuqhuma kolwazi kwi-intanethi kushiya abantu behlaselwa yizidingo eziqhubekayo ekunakekelweni kwabo ezazingekho eminyakeni eyi-15 edlule.
Lo msebenzi ongapheli, nesidingo saso esiphuthumayo sokwenza okuthile ngokushesha, kungadala 'ukucindezeleka kwengqondo' (hhayi ukuxilongwa komtholampilo kwangempela!), okuholela ekukhathazekeni nasekucindezelekeni, bese kuthi ekuthuthukiseni nasekuziphatheni okunolaka.
Abantu balayishe ngokweqile futhi basindwa futhi ukuhlonipha kuye kwanikelwa e-altare lobuchwepheshe.
7. Ukungakhuli ngokomzwelo nobuhlakani obuphansi bomzwelo
Abanye abantu, noma ngasiphi isizathu, kungenzeka ukuthi abakakhuli ngokomqondo. Mhlawumbe abasoze.
Kunjalo engahlakaniphile ngokomzwelo . Lapho benza ngendlela elimaza abanye, benza kanjalo, ngokwengxenye, ngoba abanakho ukuqaphela ukubheka umthelela wezenzo zabo.
Njengoba bengakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kubalimaza, abasiboni isizathu sokungazenzi. Abanakho ukuhlolwa kwengqondo endaweni okubavimba ukuthi benze ngalezi zindlela.
Amathiphu Wokubhekana Nokuziphatha Okubi
Uma futhi ubhekene nomuntu osebenza ngendlela embi noma engenanhlonipho, yini okufanele uyenze?
1. Zama Ukwakha Isihlungi Esingenanhlonipho
Zikhumbuze ukuthi kungahle kube nokuningi okungaphezu kokuba luhlaza nje okusobala futhi kuhlunge impendulo yakho engokwemvelo.
Noma ngabe isizathu ngesomzwelo, senhlalo, sengqondo, noma isiko, kuzoba khona okucasulayo noma okutheni ngokuziphatha okutholayo kuyalimaza noma akwamukeleki.
Noma ngabe yiziphi izinkinga ezibangela lokhu kuziphatha - noma yikuphi kulokhu okungenhla noma inqwaba yabanye - awunakulawula ngezimo ezibangela isenzo. Kepha uyakwazi ukulawula indlela ophendula ngayo.
ezimbili. Ungathathi Izinto Ngokwakho
Kulula kakhulu ukucasulwa ukuphawula okungenanhlonipho, ikakhulukazi uma kungokomuntu siqu.
Uzonikela ngamazwi abo alimazayo, kepha, uma ukhetha ukubaphatha njengenkinga yabo, hhayi eyakho. Khumbula ukuthi unenketho ngendlela osabela ngayo futhi uphendula okufana nokungajwayelekile akuyona impendulo engcono kakhulu.
okufanele ngikwenzele usuku lokuzalwa lwesoka lami
3. Thola Isizathu
Zinike isikhathi sokuthola ukuthi yini ebangele ukuba luhlaza. Mhlawumbe sekukodwa futhi bane-‘nye yalezo zinsuku ’noma badudulwa isikhathi ukuthi imikhuba ikhishwe ku-equation.
Impela kungenzeka ukuthi abaze babone ukuthi babedelele. Ngeke wazi uze ubuze futhi impendulo ingakumangaza!
4. Hamba
Zama ukunqanda impendulo yakho engokwemvelo futhi uyeke ukuziphindisela. Amaphutha amabili awenzi ilungelo, futhi ngeke kusize noma ngubani uma uzivumela ukuthi uphendule ngendlela efanayo.
Ukuzisusa esimweni esiyinselele kuyindlela ephumelela kunazo zonke yokugwema ukuba semugqeni wokudubula ngokuziphatha okukhohlisayo kumuntu ofanayo.
Noma ngabe basakhuluma nawe, vele uhambe!
Akukho okulahlekelayo uma ungumuntu ongamazi, ngoba ngeke uphinde uhlangane nabo.
Uma bengumngani noma osebenza nabo, maduze bazothola umyalezo wokuthi ukuba luhlaza kuwe akusizi ngalutho futhi akukho okukuzuzayo (futhi mhlawumbe lokho kuzobenza babe nobuhle ngokuzayo).
Kunoma yikuphi, ugcina indawo ephakeme yokuziphatha.
5. Nikeza Ukucabanga Ngokwehluka Kwamasiko
Ungacabangi ukuthi umuntu osanda kukucasula ngokuziphatha kwabo okukhohlakele noma okuthukayo wabelana ngezinkambiso zakho zamasiko.
Uma ubona ukuthi benza nje lokho okuza ngokwemvelo kubo, noma ngabe kukuvusa kangakanani, uzothola kulula ukubekezelela ukuziphatha.
Khumbula ukuthi ngokungazi ungahle ube necala lokucasula abantu abavela kwamanye amasiko ngokwenza ngendlela ocabanga ukuthi ijwayelekile.
6. Lwela Ukuba Luhlaza Ngomusa
Noma kuvame ukuphikisana, enye yezindlela ezinhle zokuqeda ubudlwangudlwangu ukuthi hlala uwusizo futhi unobungane. Lokhu kunikeza omunye umuntu ithuba lokuthi ehlise umoya futhi alungise indlela aziphathe ngayo.
7. Musa Ukuqhubekisela phambili Ukuvutha Kwenhlamba
Ungavumeli izenzo ezingacabangeli noma ezihlambalazayo noma amazwi abanye konakalise usuku lwakho futhi akubangele ukuthi uqhubeke nomjikelezo njengoba ukhiphela abanye.
Zama ukudonsa umoya kakhulu, khumbula ukuthi izinkinga zalowo muntu akusizo isibopho sakho, futhi ubhekane nosuku emomotheka. Mhlawumbe ungakwazi, ngendlela encane, ukuhlehlisa umjikelezo bese usabalalisa injabulo ethile esikhundleni salokho!
Ukhungathekiswa Izimo
Iqiniso elijabulisayo ngabantu ukuthi iningi ngabantu abahloniphekile abathi ngezikhathi ezithile bakhungathekiswe yizimo kangangoba bavele bakhulume ngamazwi bakhiphe ukukhathazeka kwabo kumaqembu angenacala.
Ngokubonga akuvamile ukuthola umuntu okhohlakele ngenxa nje yakhe. Baphandle lapho, impela, kepha akuyona into ejwayelekile futhi nalabo bantu kungenzeka ukuthi bahlupheke noma basabhekene nokuhlukumezeka okuthile noma okunye.
ukuthi ungathandani kanjani
Ukubhekana nabantu abadelelayo nabanonya kudinga imithwalo yamabhakede yozwela nokubekezela. Lokhu kungazwakala njengomthwalo wokushintsha amanga kuwe hhayi komunye umuntu.
Kodwa-ke, cabanga ukuthi enye indlela ibingaba yini: phendula ngokudelela ubanikeze isizathu sangempela esikhathini esizayo sokuthi benze okufanayo nakuwe. Futhi-ke sesibuyele kulokho kuvutha kobudlova futhi ...
Yiba NOMUNTU WOMUNTU
Kukonke, kufanele ngivume ukuthi ngivela 'kwimikhuba eyenza indoda' (kanye nowesifazane, ngokwemvelo) isikole sokucabanga. Ungakubeka phansi lokho eminyakeni yami nokukhuliswa kwami futhi ngeke ube nephutha!
Ngiyakholelwa ngokweqiniso, nokho, ukuthi isintu singaqhubeka siphila ngokujabula emhlabeni wethu ogcwele kakhulu uma iningi labantu liphathana ngomusa, ngenhlonipho, nangokuzwelana.
Umkhondo usegameni: UMNTU womuntu .
Ngakho-ke, yize kuzohlala kunabantu abanonya, abangenanhlonipho, nabangahloniphi, iseluleko sami ngukuthi sigcine indawo ephakeme yokuziphatha futhi singaqhubeki nomjikelezo wokungabi nanhlonipho ngokuvumela ukuziphatha kwabo okuthukayo kuthinte indlela osebenzelana ngayo nabanye.
