Isiko elidumile lisenze sakholwa ukuthi uma abantu abasizungezile bengakhombisi izinga elilindelekile lozwela, kukhona okungahambi kahle ngabo.
Abanye babizwa njengama-narcissists, abanye bathi imiphakathi , kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngempela? Kuyavunywa, kunomthwalo wokuchitheka walezo zinhlobo laphaya, kepha ukungabi bikho kokuzwela kothile akuzona izizathu zokucabanga ukuthi bawela komunye walezo zigaba.
Uma sihlupheka futhi siphendukela kothile ukuze asisekele, esikulindele ukuthi uzosizwela futhi asiduduze. Lokho ukulangazelela okujulile komphefumulo esinakho lapho sivumela ukuba sengozini nabanye.
Ngakho-ke, lapho sikhombisa ukuthambekela kwethu okuthobekile futhi sivuma ukuthi sidinga ukwesekwa, nale esiyivulile ukuthi isifulathele, kuba buhlungu njengesihogo.
Singazizwa sishaqekile, ukukhaphela , neminye imizwa engemihle ngoba umngane wethu wenze ngokuyisisekelo okuphambene nalokho esikudinga kubo, futhi ukucabanga kwethu ukuthi bayabanda. Banonya. Ziyisociopathic noma ama-narcissists amabi futhi singakwazi ukuzizwa kahle, ngoba uma bekwenzile, bebezoqonda izidingo zethu kulowo mzuzu bese beguqa emuva ukusinikeza ukusekelwa kwabo.
Kungaba nezizathu eziningi ezahlukahlukene zokuthi kungani umuntu engakhombisi ukuzwelana noma uzwela ngendlela olindele ukuba bakwenze ngayo, ngesikhathi lapho ufuna benze njalo, nezizathu ezibalwe ngezansi zimbalwa nje zazo.
Bakhungathekile, Futhi Abakwazi Ukukuthatha
Iningi lethu liyakugwema ukuchitha zonke izindaba zethu kumakhasi wethu wezokuxhumana, ngakho-ke asazi ukuthi omunye umuntu angabhekana nani nganoma yisiphi isikhathi.
2019 ihholo lodumo wwe
Abanye abantu bayakwazi ukugcina i-façade eqinile ngenkathi besebenza ngenani elimangalisayo le- ubuhlungu - kokubili ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo , kepha yize zibukeka zingama-stoic futhi zizinhle, empeleni zibambe kancane i-sh * t yazo ndawonye. Konke abakudingayo kukodwa inhlamvu encane ukubenza bawele echibini lezinyembezi.
Njengesibonelo, omunye wabesifazane osebenza nabo (ake simubize ngoJenna) kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nokunye ukwelashwa okuhlulekile kokuzala, futhi manje ubhekene neqiniso elibi kakhulu lokuthi mancane amathuba okuthi azale ingane yakhe.
Akakaze axoxe ngalokhu nanoma ngubani emsebenzini ngoba ungumuntu oyimfihlo kakhulu, kodwa ukhungathekile ngokomzwelo futhi ulokhu ebambelele kumaskhi okhokhelwayo, we-perky awufakile.
Ngesikhathi sokudla kwasemini, esenkantini yehhovisi, omunye umuntu osebenza naye uletha isihloko ngomngani wakhe odabukile ngoba usanda kuphuphunyelwa yisisu, futhi uJenna uphuma ekamelweni ngaphandle kwezwi. Wonke umuntu uqala ukuhleba, ecasulwa yindlela aziphethe ngayo futhi ambize ngenhliziyo engenalusizi ngezinga lehhashi elifile, okwamanje uzivalele emotweni yakhe ukuze akwazi ukukhala ngesibindi ngasese.
yini engiyithandayo ngezibonelo
Kunzima ukungacabangi nokwahlulela abanye ngokuziphatha kwabo, kodwa ngoba asisoze sakwazi finyelela emqondweni womunye noma inhliziyo futhi bazi ngempela ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, imvamisa umqondo omuhle ukubanikeza inzuzo yokungabaza.
Futhi ngendlela efanayo ...
Bakhathele Ukukhathala Kobubele
Ubuwazi ukuthi namuhla, umuntu ojwayelekile uzovezwa izindaba nemininingwane eminingi kunalowo owayesesikhathini samaVictoria ngabe wafunda noma wezwa ngakho ngonyaka?
Akumangalisi ukuthi kungani abantu abaningi behlushwa ukukhathazeka nokwethuka lapho usuku nosuku, okuphakelayo kwabo kwezokuxhumana kugcwele zonke izinhlobo zokungabi nabulungisa, izindaba ezethusayo, nokuphelelwa yithemba.
Kwabanye abantu, ukuhlaselwa okuqhubekayo kwakho konke lokhu kungabangela ukuba bahlakulele ukukhathala kobubele. Kuyisici kwesinye isikhathi esiqala kubahlengikazi. Ngemuva kwenani elithile lokuchayeka isikhathi eside ezimeni noma kulwazi olilimaza ngokomzwelo, ingqondo ivele… uhlobo oluthile luvale isikhungo sozwelo njengendlela yokuzivikela.
Umuntu uya kwi-autopilot ekwazi ukusebenza nokwenza umsebenzi wabo ngobungcweti, kepha ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka ngokomzwelo. Imvamisa, kungaba yilokho, noma ukuwohloka okuphelele kwemizwa ngenxa yazo zonke izinto ezesabekayo, ezingokomzwelo ezilwa nazo.
umyeni wenqaba ukukhuluma ngezinkinga
Abantu abasebenza ezindaweni ezinengcindezi enkulu (njengabahlengikazi besigceme esihlukumezekile noma abezokwelapha emkhakheni wezindawo zempi) baphinde bacubungule imizwa emazingeni ahlukene, futhi babe nezinto ezibekwa phambili ezahlukahlukene uma kukhulunywa ngalokho abakucabangayo ukuthi kunzima.
Kunzima ukuzwelana nomuntu obhongayo futhi okhalayo ngeqakala lakhe eliminyene lapho kufanele unqume isitho somunye umuntu ngoba eshaywe yibhomu eliqhumile, uyazi?
Kumuntu osebenzelana nomgogodla, lokho kungaba yibuhlungu obedlula bonke abake babuthola futhi bafuna induduzo nokuqinisekiswa okuncane kumuntu abamkhathalelayo. Kumuthi wasensimini, ngumbuzo othi 'Angikwazi ngisho. Woza uzokhuluma nami lapho usopha igazi emehlweni akho. ”
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Izindlela Ezi-4 Ukungabi Nalo Uzwelo Kuzokonakalisa Ubudlelwano Bakho
- Uma Ufuna Uthando Oluhlala Njalo, Funa Umuntu Ozwa Uzwela Njengawe
- Umthambeka Obushelelezi Wokunganaki: Isexwayiso Kuwo Onke Ama-Empaths
Babhekene ne-Personal Trauma noma i-PTSD
Kwabanye abantu, ukungabi nozwela kungahle kubangelwe yisipiliyoni esibuhlungu esikhathini esedlule.
Abantu okwathi, njengezingane, babhekana nezimo lapho bahlukunyezwa khona, noma babhekana nesimo esinengcindezi enkulu, nesinokuhlukumezeka, kaningi kuye kwadingeka bayivale imizwa yabo yokusebenza ukuze baqhubeke.
Njengoba kunje, kukhona uhlobo lomphumela omncane lapho kukhulunywa ngemizwa yabo yabo indlela yokubhekana kwakuwukunciphisa ukusabela kwabo ezintweni ezingokomzwelo, ngakho-ke babonakala benomkhawulo ophakeme kakhulu wokubona ubuhlungu nokuhlupheka.
izinto ezimnandi okufanele uzenze lapho unesizungu ekhaya
Zingahle zibonakale zingamakhaza noma zingenazwelo, kepha lokho kuphendula (noma ukuntuleka kwako) kubangelwe isidingo sokuzivikela lapho bebhekene nezimo ezihlukumezayo esikhathini esedlule.
Lokhu kungenye yeqiniso lokuthi akuvamile ukuthi sazi abanye abantu njengoba sicabanga ukuthi siyakwenza, futhi kungathatha iminyaka abantu ukuthi basivulele ubucayi abake baphila kubo, uma bekhuluma ngakho kithi kube bonke.
Kulula kakhulu ukulahla omunye ngokubanda kwabo okubonakalayo, lapho kungenzeka ukuthi abanakho ukulawula okuningi kulokho kusabela nhlobo.
Banokungakwazi Ukuhlobana Nomunye
Kunesinye isizathu esiqinile sokuthi kungani abantu bengabonakala bengenalo uzwela, futhi lokho ukuthi abaningi bangaqonda kuphela futhi bazwelane nezinto abazizwele mathupha.
Njengesibonelo, umuntu ongakaze abhekane nobuthi bokudla angahle ahlekise ngalabo abaphethwe yibo, kuze kube yilapho sebenabo ngokwabo futhi bathotshiswa usizi nobuhlungu.
MANJE, uma sebezizwele mathupha, bayakwazi ukuzwelana nabanye abantu ababhekana nalokho: 'Ngiyakuzwa, ndoda ... ngibe nekhari engaconsi phansi futhi yangiphula isonto lonke.'
Lezi yizinhlobo zabantu okuthi, lapho bebhekene nezindaba noma izithombe zabantu abahlupheka emazweni akude, abakwazi ukuhlobana ngokweqiniso nalokho abhekene nakho futhi, ngenxa yalokho, abanamandla ukusabela ngokomzwelo esikhundleni salokho.
Izinto ezimbi zenzeka endaweni engazwakaliyo “kude, laphaya ndawo ndawo,” kepha okwenzekayo kususwe kude kakhulu lapha ukuthi kubukeka sengathi kungokweqile… kucishe kufane nokubuka ifilimu noma uhlelo lwe-TV olugcwele abalingisi hhayi abantu bangempela.
Lokhu 'okunye' okumele sikuqaphele kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi ukuthi umuntu uhlala kude kakhulu, akusho ukuthi akazizwa izinto ezifanayo nathi. Bafana nathi.
Njengombhalo ohlangothini, abantu abanobunzima bokuzwelana nabanye abakude akufani nalabo abangabheka izingane ezondlekile noma ababaleki abalambile futhi basho nje okuthile ukuze kuthiwe 'hhayi isizwe sami, hhayi inkinga yami.'
inini imali ye-wwe ebhange 2019
Lokho kungama-assholes.
