Uma uthandana nomuntu ohoxa kaninginingi, noma avele ngomona ngoba ungahle ube nentshisekelo komunye umuntu, noma ngokuhlekisa washo kaningi ukuthi balinde wena ukuthi ubashiyele omunye umuntu 'ongcono,' bese kungenzeka ubhekene nomuntu onezinkinga ezinkulu zokulahla.
Lezi zinkinga zivame ukubangelwa ebuntwaneni, kungaba ukwaliwa ngumzali noma umnakekeli, noma ngisho nokulahlekelwa ngumuntu osondelene nabo ngokugula noma ukulimala.
Abanye abantu baba nezinkinga zokulahlwa ngemuva ukukhashelwa noma kuthathelwe umoya ngumlingani abamkhathalele ngokujulile, futhi okuhlangenwe nakho okufana nalokhu kungadala amanxeba amahle ajulile angathatha isikhathi eside ukuphola.
Lokho akusho ukuthi umuntu onalezi zinkinga akalufanele uthando: kumane kusho ukuthi kuthatha ukunakekelwa okwengeziwe ukugqobhoza isihlangu sabo sokuzivikela futhi ubakhombise ukuthi ubakhathalele ngokweqiniso, futhi uhlela ukunamathela ezimpilweni zabo.
Uma uthandana nomuntu onenkinga yokulahlwa, kufanelekile ukugcina lezi zinto eziyi-8 engqondweni.
1. Yiba nesineke kubo, futhi ukhulume nabo.
Lo ngumuntu izindonga zakhe ezizohlazisa iBastille. Abazethembi kalula, futhi unogada wabo uzokhuphuka esinqeni sokuqala sokuthi bangalimala. Zilungiselele lokhu ukuze kungakubambeli gqubu noma kukucasule uma kwenzeka.
Imvamisa bavala ukuhleba okuncane kokungaqiniseki ebudlelwaneni, ikakhulukazi uma becabanga ukuthi kunezinto ezenzekayo abangazazi, ngakho-ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlakulela ukuxhumana okuvulelekile.
Noma ngabe ukuxhumana kuxakile noma kunzima, kuzohamba ibanga elide ukubenza babone ukuthi bangakwethemba ngempela, futhi lokho kudinga isikhathi nomzamo.
2. Yazi ukuthi akukhulunywa ngawe.
Uma kunjalo ukuhoxiswa noma umona ngokweqile , ngicela uqonde ukuthi awenzanga lutho ukubangela lokhu kuziphatha: kungenzeka babone uhlobo oluthile lokufana phakathi kwesimo samanje nokuthile abake bakuthola eminyakeni eyedlule, futhi basabela kwimizwelo ebuswa yilokho, kunalokho kunalokho okwenzekayo manje.
Bangadideka futhi baziphathe kabi impela, bakushiye uhleli lapho ubambe ongezansi, uzibuze ukuthi yini okungenzeka ukuthi uyenzile ukuze uthole ukusabela okunjalo, kanti empeleni yibo kuphela abakhumbula ukuthi kwakunjani ukulimala ngokweqile nokwenza konke amandla abo okugwema ukulimaza okungako futhi.
Futhi, uma ukwazi, ngicela ubabekezelele. Bakhuthaze ukuthi bakhulume nawe ngalokho abakuzwayo uma sebethule. Ngemuva kokuthi behlaselwe ukwethuka nokuqhuma okungenzeka, kungenzeka bazizwe benamahloni kakhulu ngokuziphatha kwabo. Uma usebenza ngokubambisana, zingakhula kusukela kokuhlangenwe nakho, futhi ukwesekwa kwakho nokuqinisekiswa kwakho kungavimba leyo nto yento ukuthi yenzeke kaningi futhi.
indlela yokwenza abantu bazizwe bekhethekile
3. Thembeka njalo ngemizwa yakho.
Uyacelwa ukuthi ungabi nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele uhambe phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda noma ugwinye imizwa yakho ngomzamo wokugwema ukuzibeka eceleni. Zingabonakala zintekenteke futhi zithambile ngezikhathi ezithile, kodwa lokho kungenxa yokuthi bacabanga yonke into ngokweqile futhi bahlala beqaphile njalo, bezama ukufunda 'phakathi kwemigqa' ukubona ukuthi uzobalimaza noma ubashiye ngqo.
Uma lokhu kuziphatha kukucasula noma kukukhungathekisa, khuluma nabo ngakho esikhundleni sokukufaka ebhodleleni futhi uhlale uthule, noma uzama ukubakholisa ukuthi akukho okungahambi kahle. Ngokwenza lokho, bazoba abangazethembi nakakhulu ngoba bazozwa ukuthi ubafihlela izinto, nokuthi uphakathi komnyango, uhamba.
Unganqikazi ukuxhumana ngokweqile, ngokujulile. Laba bantu bangathanda ukuthi ubatshele ngezinto ezincane eziqhubekayo empilweni yakho ngakho-ke bazizwa sengathi bayingxenye ebalulekile yalokho. Lapho ungenza okuningi ukuze ubaqinisekise ukuthi babalulekile, kuba ngcono. Bayakudinga lokho, futhi lapho bezizwa bephephile futhi bevikelekile ebudlelwaneni, bazokwazi ukukuvulela futhi babe nguzakwenu omdingayo naye.
4. Zilungiselele ukuzibonakalisa.
Obunye ubunzima obukhulu bokuthanda umuntu ngezinkinga zokulahlwa ukuthi eziningi zazo zilinyazwe kaninginingi ngohlobo olufanayo lwabantu, kaninginingi. Bayolindela ukuthi ubalimaze ngendlela efanayo, futhi bazobamba iqhaza ukuze isicathulo siwe, ngomqondo ongokomfanekiso.
Cabanga ngalesi simo: Cabanga ngenja enakekelwa ngumnikazi oyihlukumezayo.
Umnikazi uziphatha ngomusa enjeni isikhashana, bese eyikhahlela, ayizwise ubuhlungu… kodwa abuye abe nomusa futhi isikhashana. Kuze kube baphinde bayikhahlela, futhi iphethini iyaziphinda. Inja bese itholwa ngomunye umnakekeli… onomusa enjeni isikhashana, baze bathathe isinqumo sokuyikhahlela nayo.
Ngemuva kwemizuliswano embalwa nabantu abambalwa abehlukene, leyo nja izobe isifundile isifundo sokuthi noma yimuphi umusa omncane uzolandelwa ukukhahlela okubuhlungu. Kungathatha isikhathi esiningi, umzamo, ukubekezela, nokuqinisekiswa ukuqinisekisa leyo nja ukuthi kulokhu, kuzohluka. Kungase kungalokothi kuthembele ngokuphelele ukuthi ukukhahlela ngeke kufike, ukuthi ngeke kulimale futhi, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kungakhululeka ngokwanele ukuthi kunakekelwe futhi kuthandwe kakhulu kunakuqala.
Okufanayo kuya kumuntu onenkinga yokulahlwa. Kunzima kakhulu ukuthola ukwethenjwa kwalowo olinyazwe kabi abanye, kepha uma ungagqekeza ukuzivikela kwabo ubakhombise ukuthi awufani nalabo ababalimaza phambilini, uzombuka lo muntu uthando luqhakaza esimweni esimangalisayo abelokhu benamandla okuba.
5. Ungavumeli ukuzikhulumela kwabo okungekuhle.
Uma bebeka phansi, bekhuluma ngendlela abayiziphukuphuku ngayo ngokuzizwa ngendlela abazizwa ngayo, noma ngokuxolisa ukuthi 'baphuke' kangakanani, zama ukungabaniki amandla ngokubatshela nje ukuthi cha, banephutha. Lokho kuzomane kungasebenzi indlela abazizwa ngayo, futhi bazogcina bekhuluma izinto ezifanayo ngokuzayo lapho behlukana kancane.
Esikhundleni salokho, zama indlela lapho ulalele khona ngenkuthalo, kepha uzama ukubenza babone isimo ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene.
6. Qonda ukuthi abaziphathi ngale ndlela ngamabomu.
Akunjalo. Ngempela, empeleni abekho.
Akukho okunye abangakuthanda ngaphandle kokuwela ezandleni zakho nabo ukuthembela okuphelele ngeqiniso lokuthi uyilokho obonakala uyikho futhi bangajabula ngokuphelele futhi baphephe ebudlelwaneni nawe, kepha amava abo uqobo abafundise ngenye indlela, kaninginingi.
7. Bakhumbuze ukuthi kungani ubathanda.
Esikhundleni sengubo nje “ Ngiyakuthanda , ”Batshele ngqo ukuthi uyini obakhathalelayo futhi obazisayo ngabo. Akungabazeki ukuthi batshelwe abanye ukuthi bayathandwa, futhi lawo magama abonakala engenamqondo futhi engenamqondo lapho begcina belimala… kepha ukugxila ezintweni ezibonakalayo kakhulu oziqaphelile ngabo kubenza babone ukuthi uyanaka kubani: kulokho abakwenzayo.
Izibonelo ezimbalwa kungaba yizinto ezinjengalezi:
- Ngiyayithanda ngempela indlela onomusa ngayo ezilwaneni.
- Ngiyawazisa umzamo owenzayo wokungenzela ___, ngoba uyazi ukuthi ngiyayithanda.
- Unomomotheka omuhle: kuyajabulisa ukukubona ucwebezela kakhulu lapho ujabulile.
- Incwadi ongincome ngayo ibiphelele. Unemibono eqinile ngokuqondene nalokho engikuthandayo, futhi ngiyakwazisa lokho.
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Ukubonwa nokuzwakala kubaluleke ngokungakholeki, futhi nokwaziwa kwemizamo yabo kungenza umehluko kubo. Lokhu kuvame ukuba nomusa kakhulu, kunika abantu abathanda ngokujulile futhi basizakala ngakho-ke ukwaziswa abakwenzayo kukhulu kakhulu ngokubakhombisa ukuthi uyabakhathalela.
8. Basize, kodwa ungazami ukuzilungisa.
Uma uphola nothile onenkinga yokulahla, ungazizwa unesibopho sokuthi ngandlela thile 'welaphe' ukuthi 'abalungise' ngobuhlungu nokulimala kwabo.
Yize ungezwa ngale ndlela ngenxa yomusa kanye nesifiso sokubabona bephila impilo enenjabulo enkulu, khumbula ukuthi lena impilo yabo, hhayi eyakho.
Njengalokhu, awukwazi ukubeka isisindo sokuphulukiswa kwabo emahlombe akho, ngoba akuyona eyakho ukuthi uyithwale.
Kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kokusiza umuntu nokumlungisa. Iqhaza lakho ukusiza nokubhekana nohambo lwabo lokuphulukisa ngenkathi ubanikeza inkululeko yokuhamba ngejubane labo, ukubuyela emuva kwesinye isikhathi, ukuzama izinto ezihlukile, ukwehluleka, ukuvuka bazame futhi.
Awukwazi ukususa izindaba zabo zokulahlwa - ungabambelela kuzo bese ulandela ezinye izeluleko ezikule ndatshana ukuze unikeze isiqinisekiso.
Ukuthanda umuntu ngalezi zinkinga kungakhathaza kwesinye isikhathi, kepha uma usumsizile ekuxazululeni ukwesaba kwabo, ngokungangabazeki uzoba nomlingani onothando kakhulu, onikelayo ongacabanga ngaye, ngoba nje ubakhombisile ukuthi uyamkhathalela nokuthi uzobakhathalela hlala.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi wenzeni ngokwesaba ukushiywa umlingani wakho?Awudingi ukuthola konke ngokwakho ngezihloko ezinjengalezi. Ungathola ukuqondiswa okudingayo kumeluleki wezobudlelwano oqeqeshiwe. Bazokwazi ukukusiza ukuthi ubhekane nezinselelo ongahle ube nabo lobo budlelwano.Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe ovela ku-Relationship Hero okwazi ukukuhamba kuyo yonke into bese uphendula noma imiphi imibuzo ongaba nayo. Kalula.
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- Ukujola Nomuntu Onexhala: Izinto Ezi-4 Ofanele Uzenze (Futhi 4 HHAYI OKWENZIWE)
- Izimpawu ze-11 Zengqondo Ezizondayo
