Kunobufakazi obukhulayo obusikisela ukuthi enye yezimfihlo zobudlelwano obude futhi obujabulisayo ukuhleka ndawonye njalo.
Ungahle ucabange ukuthi lokhu kusobala, kodwa kuze kube muva nje lapho isayensi iphumele obala ngalombono. Ngaphambi kwaleso sikhathi kwakuwukuqagela kakhulu.
Manje, noma kunjalo, kungenzeka ukuxhumanisa ukuhleka okwabiwe kwangempela nemibhangqwana enesikhathi eside, ubudlelwano obunempilo . Ngakho-ke, uma uke wadinga isikhuthazo esithe xaxa sokuhleka nomlingani wakho, nakhu.
Isifundo esisodwa kutholakale ukuthi ukuhleka okwabiwe 'bekuhlotshaniswa kahle nokuhlolwa komhlaba wonke kwekhwalithi yobudlelwano' - ngamanye amagama, leyo mibhangqwana echitha isikhathi ihleka ndawonye kungenzeka ukuthi ijabulele ubudlelwano obuqinile nobuhle.
Umbhali ofundayo uLaura Kurtz, wase-University of North Carolina, utshele i-Independent :
Lokhu kusho ukuthi singasho ukuthi kukhona okuhlukile ngokuhleka okwabiwe kobudlelwano. Akwanele ukuhleka phambi komlingani wakho - yizikhathi lapho nobabili nihleka ndawonye ezibonakala zibala ngempela.
ungamgcina kanjani umfana enentshisekelo ngemuva kokulala naye
Esinye isifundo kuveze ukuthi ukukhumbula ngokuhleka okwabiwe nakho kube nomthelela omuhle ebudlelwaneni. Iphethe ngokuthi lapho imibhangqwana ikhumbula izikhathi lapho bebehleka ndawonye, izinzuzo bezinkulu kunezinye, izindlela ezijwayelekile, zokukhumbula.
Njengoba kushiwo ocwaningweni:
kukhona izinzuzo ezisheshayo nezesikhashana zokukhumbula ngokwabelana ngokuhleka kobudlelwano nenhlalakahle edlulela ngale kokudala isimo esihle.
Ngakho-ke ukukhuluma “ngaleso sikhathi lapho si…” nokwabelana ngokuhlekisa ngenkathi usenza kuyasiza ekuqiniseni isibopho esigcina abantu ababili bebumbene.
Kepha singahleka kanjani ngokwengeziwe njengombhangqwana?
Manje njengoba usuyazi ukubaluleka kokuhleka ebudlelwaneni, mhlawumbe uyazibuza ukuthi yini ongayenza ukukhulisa imvamisa yezikhathi zokuhlangana zokugigitheka.
Kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi akufanele uphoqe ukuhleka - isifundo sokuqala kwezi ezimbili esishiwo ngenhla sathola ukuthi ukuhleka phambi komlingani wakho akwanele nokuthi ukuhlekisa okungahambi kahle noma okukhohlisayo kungenzeka kulimaze ubudlelwano.
Kukhona, noma kunjalo, izinto ongazenza ukukhulisa amathuba wokuhleka okuzenzakalelayo, okwabiwe.
Okubaluleke kakhulu, mhlawumbe, ukungazithathi ngokweqile. Uma uphatha yonke impilo ngokungathi sína okulinganayo, uzosebenza ekhaya kakhulu njengoba wenza emsebenzini noma kwenye indawo yokuhlala. Vele ukuphendula okunesizotha nokugxile kungokwemvelo lapho okuthile kudinga ukwenziwa, kepha ngezikhathi zokuphumula, vumela nje ukuba ukhululeke, ufane nengane, futhi ube nokuhlekisa.
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Dansa ekhishini, hamba ezenzakalweni, ungcolise, dlala imidlalo (hhayi leyo midlalo!), Vumela nje wenze okuzwakala kulungile. Futhi, njengoba kunconyiwe ngenhla, khumbula lezo zikhathi zobumnandi enaninazo ndawonye, bheka izithombe uma unazo, futhi uphinde uvakashele izindawo lapho uhleko lwenzeke khona.
Dlalani, niphane amagama ezifuywayo angenangqondo, dala amahlaya angaphakathi owaziwa uwena kuphela, dansa (kufanele ukuphindwa ngoba kusebenza kahle), futhi nidlale ngokuhlekisana (kodwa kuphela uma nobabili nithokozela ukwenza okuhle).
Enye into eningayenza ukuhlala esikhathini samanje njengezithandani - ningahlali lapho ndawonye nibheke amafoni enu lapho benijabulelana khona. Vimbela izinkulumo zomsebenzi ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile kusihlwa futhi, futhi umelane nesilingo sokugcwalisa ukuthula ngomsindo ongadingi ukudlala komculo noma i-TV ekhala ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Lapho nikwazi ukuhlala manje ndawonye, kukhula nethuba lezikhathi zokuzijabulisa.
Ukuhleka kunezinzuzo eziningi zemvelo, futhi manje singangeza ukuthuthuka kobudlelwano kulolo hlu. Ukwabelana ngokumamatheka, ukugigitheka, noma ngisho ne-guffaw nomlingani wakho kunganqamula ukungezwani, kudale umuzwa wokusondelana, futhi thuthukisa ukuxhumana . Gcina engqondweni konke okuhle okwenzayo ngokuzayo lapho uqhuma ukuhleka okuzenzekelayo.
