Kukangaki isibabazo sokucasuka noma ngisho intukuthelo ngokwehluleka komlingani wakho ukubona umbono wakho weqa ezindebeni zakho ezikhungathekiswe kangaka?
Kaningi kunokuba ubungathanda ukuvuma, ngibheja.
Ukuvala lelo gebe lokuxhumana kubalulekile ukuze ubudlelwano bakho buphumelele futhi bukhule ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ungabi yilowo mbhangqwana osendleleni ehambisanayo, ngamunye ulima umsele wakhe wokuphila, kepha ngaphandle kokuxhumana okungokoqobo noma ukuqonda.
Kulula kakhulu ukulahla umbono wamanje lapho sizimisele ukwenza izinhlelo zekusasa. Leso sipho besingajabulisa kakhulu uma nobabili nibone iso neso lapha nalapha.
Masibhekane nakho, ubudlelwano bakho bungase bungapheli isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukubona lelo kusasa elihle elihlelwe uma ungazibheki izingqinamba ezibangelwe ukwehluleka kwakho ukuxhumana okwamanje.
Lapho imijikelezo yokuxhumana ingasavuleki, kungahlukanisa kakhulu futhi-ke-kulula ukuzizwa uwedwa, noma ngabe uhlala ekhaya nempilo nomunye umuntu.
Izindaba ezimnandi ukuthi kunezindlela zokuvala leso sikhala futhi zifaneleke kakhulu kuma-newbies wokuqhathanisa emdlalweni wobudlelwano njengoba zinjalo ngalabo abaye bagijimisana, okungcono noma okubi, emashumini eminyaka emshadweni.
Thatha Isinyathelo Emuva Futhi Cabanga
Uma uzimisele ngokulungisa lokho okubona njengokungalungi ngendlela osebenzisana ngayo noshade naye noma umlingani wakho (noma nabo), bese uthatha isinyathelo sokubuyela emuva uzinike isikhathi nendawo yokuzindla ngezindlela zokuqonda eyodwa enye engcono ingavuna izinzuzo ezingenakubalwa.
Imvelo embaxambili yanoma ibuphi ubudlelwano obusondelene isho ukuthi imvamisa kunezindlela ezimbili ezihluke kakhulu ezintweni ezithile.
Lezi zimo zengqondo nezinkolelo ngokwemvelo zithuthukiswa isikhathi sokuphila futhi zithonywe yikho konke kusuka kokuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana, ubudlelwano bomndeni, imfundo, ngisho nasemsebenzini.
Uma eyodwa noma zombili izinhlangothi ebudlelwaneni zingabanga nenhlanhla ngokwanele yokuba nabazali abaxhumana kahle futhi ukhombise ukuhloniphana , lapho-ke lokho kusenzima ukufeza isizukulwane esilandelayo.
Khumbula Ukuthi Konke Kwaqala Kanjani
Enye yezinto ezijabulisa kakhulu ngezinsuku zokuqala zobudlelwano yindlela oqoqa ngayo ngokushesha ulwazi ngomunye nomunye ngokukhuluma ngokungapheli, imvamisa kube ngamahora amancane asekuseni.
Ukuzama ukuthola ukuthi yini eyenza omunye umkhaza futhi afunde okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka ngendaba yabo yempilo kuyingxenye enkulu yokugijimisana kothando okusha. Wabelana ngolwazi mayelana nayo yonke into enhle kakhulu, kusuka kokuncane kakhulu kuya kokubi kakhulu.
wazi kanjani uma sekuphelile
Okusemqoka ukuthi bobabili abathintekayo benze umzamo wangempela wokucabangela imizwa yalowo abazoba yisithandwa sakhe noma omusha futhi baxhumane ngokuthembeka nangokuvulelekile.
Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi ukusondelana ngokomzimba kuyingxenye enkulu yalokhu. Yilokho okuvame ukusebenza njengomsele wokwabelana ngezimfihlo ezinsukwini ezikhuthazwa ngama-hormone zothando olusha. Inkulumo yomcamelo ingadalula kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngokuthola ukuthi yini ngempela engaphansi.
Ngokudabukisayo, lokho kusondelana kanye nomuzwa ojabulisayo wokuxhuma nokuqonda obeyingxenye enkulu yokuheha kwasekuqaleni kulahleka kalula phakathi kwezendlalelo ze-c ** p zokuthi izinqwaba zempilo zibudlelwano.
Uma singakwazi ukuxebula lezi zingqimba, singaba sethubeni lokuvuselela okungenani ukuhleba komoya walezo zinsuku ezimangalisayo zakuqala.
Kuthatha Ababili
Ungakhohlwa ukuthi kunephuzu elincane kule drayivu yokuxhumeka okusondele uma konke uhlangothi olulodwa .
Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho akatholi nje ukuthi ukhungatheke kanjani ngalokho okubona njengokuntuleka kokuxhumana. Kungenzeka noma abe nenjabulo engazi.
Ekugcineni, kubalulekile ukuthi uthole indlela yokuxoxa ngalokhu ngokuthembeka nangokungagunci, ukuze nobabili nenze izinguquko ezidingekayo.
Ukugxila kwalesi siqephu ukuguqula indlela oziphatha ngayo nokuveza izinyathelo ezimbalwa zezingane ziye ekuxhumaneni okusebenzayo.
Lezo zinguquko zingaqala ukuba nomthelela omuhle ekuziphatheni komlingani wakho zinganakile.
Izeluleko Eziphezulu Eziyi-10 Zokuxhumana Kwezithandani Eziphumelelayo
Ake sicabangele ukuthi ungazama kanjani ukuncibilikisa, noma okungenani unciphise, lokho kulimaza okungekho kokungezwani okuhlangene futhi uye phambili ngokuvumelana okukhulu.
Lezi zeluleko zizokusiza wena nabathandekayo bakho ukuthi nichithe isikhathi esiningi nicula kusuka ekhasini elilodwa lomculo nesikhathi esincane ukudansa kumabhithi ahlukahlukene.
Azikho zazo eziyisayensi yamarokhethi kanti ezinye zisobala ngokusobala. Noma kunjalo, kulula ukukhohlwa. Isikhumbuzo esincane sizokunikeza ukushayela nokuzimisela ukukusebenzisa.
Zizokusiza ukuvula ingqondo yakho ukuze uphinde uhlole ubudlelwano bakho futhi uvule (noma uvule kabusha) lezo ziteshi ezibalulekile zokuxhumana.
1. Chithani Isikhathi Ndawonye
Yize okuningi kwalesi sihloko kumayelana nokwenza ngcono ukuxhumana ngamazwi, konke lokho akubalulekile kangako uma ungenzi imizamo yokwabelana ngendawo efanayo.
Izinto eziningi enizenzayo njengombhangqwana zingabonakala zingabalulekile, kepha ungalokothi ukubukele phansi ukubaluleka kokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.
Ukufunda iphephandaba, ukubukela i-TV, ukupheka, ukulalela umculo, noma ukuwasha izingubo konke kungabonakala kungasho lutho futhi kungasho lutho, kodwa ukwabelana ngalezi zinto kubalulekile - mhlawumbe kakhulu - ukukhulisa impilo yobudlelwano bakho kunokukhuluma ngendlela ozizwa ngayo .
Ukwehluleka ukwabelana ngale misebenzi eyisisekelo kungaholela ekuqhekekeni kokuxhumana kanye nokushoda kokuqondana.
2. Ungesabi Ukuxhumana
Abanye abantu bayesaba ukukhuluma kahle nabalingani babo ngoba bacabanga ukuthi kuzokwenza isimo sishube kakhulu.
Bakhathazeka ngokuthi ngokuletha isikhalazo noma ngokungafihli lutho ngezinkinga zabo, bazibeka engcupheni yokuhlukanisa umlingani wabo noma ukudala ingxabano. Noma bamane abafuni ukulimaza omunye umuntu.
Nokho, iqiniso liwukuthi ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile nangobuqotho kuyisisekelo sobuhlobo obuhle futhi obuzinzile.
Okufanele ukwesabe ngempela ukungaqondani nokuvumela noma yiziphi izinkinga okungenzeka ukuthi wazilungisa. Ukungakhulumisani njalo kuzoba yingozi enkulu ebudlelwaneni kunokukhuluma ngokusuka enhliziyweni.
3. Yazisa
Kulula ukubukela phansi inani le- izwi noma amabili okubonga noma ukwazisa phakathi kwabalingani. Imvamisa nje sithatha kancane izinto ezincane eziningi ezenziwa omunye.
Imicabango emihle, ukushukuma komzimba, nezenzo kuhamba ibanga elide ekuboniseni ukuthi uyaqonda izingcindezi zangaphandle nezinkinga umlingani wakho abhekene nazo.
Ukwamukelwa okuncane okufana nalokhu, okuthatha ngokungathathi hlangothi umzamo, kunenani elingaziwa ngokuqinisekisa ubudlelwano.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Izindlela Ezi-8 Abesilisa Nabesifazane Abaxhumana Ngokwehlukile
- Indlela Yokukhomba Futhi Uqede Ukukhathazeka Kobudlelwano
- Izindlela Ezi-7 Zokukhombisa Ngokuphepha Ukuba Sengozini Kwezemizwa Ebudlelwaneni
- Okufanele Ukwenze Ngobudlelwano Obungenabo Ubudlelwano Nokuxhuma
- Uma Ufuna Ukubuyela Othandweni Nomlingani Wakho Wesikhathi Eside, Yenza Lezi Zinto
- Izindlela Ezi-4 Ukuntuleka Kozwela Kuzokonakalisa Ubudlelwano Bakho
4. Ncoma Uzakwenu
Ukuxhumana akukona konke mayelana nokuhayiza okungalungile ngezikhalazo zakho. Kubalulekile ngempela ukusebenzisa amagama akhayo ukuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi ubonise ukuthi unakekela kangakanani.
Inqobo nje uma zingezangempela futhi zisuka enhliziyweni, qiniseka ukuthi uwakha empeleni amagama okusho ukuthi uyithanda kangakanani ingubo noma ihembe lomlingani wakho, noma ukuthi isidlo sasebusuku abasiphekileyo simnandi kanjani.
Kulula kakhulu ukuthi le micabango emnandi idlule ekhanda lakho ngaphandle kokuthi uyiqambe. Kulula futhi ngokudabukisayo ukuyeka ukuqaphela lezi zinto ngokuphelele.
Ukukhokha ukuncoma kuthatha umzamo omncane futhi kulula ukukwenza uma sekuwumkhuba. Le misho emifushane futhi ebukeka incane ixhumana nomlingani wakho ukuthi uyamnaka futhi uyajabula ukuthi usempilweni yakho.
Ungazigodli ekutsheleni umlingani wakho ukuthi ubathanda futhi ubakhathalele ngokujule kangakanani. Ukucabanga ukuthi bayazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani akulungile. Ukuzwa amagama athi “ Ngiyakuthanda ”Ukuqinisekiswa njalo nokuqiniswa kwemizwa yakho.
5. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba
Ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni obunothando akugcini nje ngamagama, kunjalo, kepha nezenzo.
Futhi angisho ubulili - hhayi ukuthi ngibukela phansi inani le- akha uthando njengendlela yokudlulisa uthando lwakho nothando kumlingani wakho.
Uma ufuna ukuthuthukisa ukujula nokusebenza kokuxhumana kwakho nokuqonda kwakho, yizenzo ezincane ezingaguquguquki, ezifana nokubambana ngezandla, ukuqabulana nokubingelela, ukuphindaphinda izikhathi eziyishumi nambili usuku ngalunye, okuzoba nomphumela omkhulu kakhulu.
Ukuthinta kukhombisa ukuthi unakekela kangakanani ngaphandle kwesidingo samagama - kubaluleke kakhulu ngoba amagama angaqondakala kalula. Ungalokothi uthathe phansi amandla e-hug.
Uthando kanye uthando olukhonjiswayo futhi uzizwe kulezi zenzo ezibonakala zingasho lutho kukhulu kakhulu kunalokho ongacabanga.
Ekuxakekeni kwempilo yekhulu lama-21, futhi ziyizinto ezikhohlakala kalula phakathi kokuxhamazela.
6. Buza Ngosuku Lomlingani Wakho
Ngemuva kokubingelela kokubanga okubaluleke kakhulu, yenza umkhuba wokubuza ukuthi luhambe kanjani usuku lomlingani wakho.
izinkondlo ngempilo nokufa kothandekayo
Abanye abantu bavelela kakhulu kunabanye ngokwabelana ngemininingwane futhi lokhu kungahle kungabi yisikhathi esifanele salokho. Ukuveza nje intshisekelo, noma kunjalo, kuvula iziteshi zokuxhumana.
Kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona okusengqondweni yabo futhi izinto azihambanga kahle kangako. Bangazizwa bengafuni ukukhuluma ngakho ngaleso sikhathi. Kepha ukuveza kwakho intshisekelo kusho ukuthi bangabelana ngezinto ezibakhathazayo uma sebelungile futhi bazi ukuthi uzolalela.
7. Ungavumeli I-Social Media Trump Ukuxhumana Komphakathi
Singakanani isikhathi osichitha wena kanye nothandekayo wakho emakamelweni afanayo noma ahlukene ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile nangomdlandla ‘nabangane’ ezinkundleni zokuxhumana?
Thembeka.
Isikhathi esiningi kakhulu impendulo engenzeka.
Kuyindida ukuthi iningi lethu lichitha isikhathi sethu esiningi lihlanganyela ngaleyo ndlela, ngenkathi lihluleka ukuxhuma kunoma yini ngaphandle kwezinga eliphezulu nalabo abelana ngempilo yethu.
Yize ngicabanga ukuthi ungaphikisana nokuhlala egumbini elilodwa ngigqolozele amafoni akho ifaneleka ‘njengokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye’ (iphoyinti 1), kunokuthile okuhlukanisa ngokukhethekile ngakho.
Kungenzeka nindawonye ngomqondo ophathekayo, kodwa nigxile emisebenzini yabantu, abaziwayo nabangaziwa, abakude kakhulu.
Setha imikhawulo ethile esikhathini osichitha ku-Twittering nokunye okunjalo bese ushintshela ekugxileni ekuxhumaneni nomunye wakho obalulekile. Izokhokha izinzuzo, impela.
8. Vula Izindlebe Zakho
Kuyinto eyodwa ukuyizwa futhi kungenye into ukulalela ngempela. Enye yezincomo ezinkulu ongazikhokhela umlingani wakho ukuthi ulalele empeleni abakushoyo. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma wenza umzamo wokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana phakathi kwakho.
Uma uchaza inkinga onayo ngento okungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho uyishilo noma uyenzile, qiniseka ukuthi ulalela ngempela impendulo yabo.
Kulula kakhulu ukuqagela okwesibili impendulo bese ulungele okulandelayo kwinqwaba yemibuzo yakho kanye nezikhuzo. Qiniseka ukuthi umnika ithuba lokukhuluma futhi ulalele ngokucophelela lapho bephendula.
Ungathuthukisa amakhono akho okulalela ngokusebenzisa inqubo ebizwa ngokuthi 'ukulalela okusebenzayo.'
Dlulisela ukuqonda kwakho kumlingani wakho ngokumomotheka nangegama elifanele noma ibinzana, elilula njengokuthi “Ngiyakuqonda” (inqobo nje uma wenza kanjalo).
Ukulalela okusebenzayo kuvumela ukuphazamiseka uma udinga ukucacisa noma ungavumelani, kepha njalo cela imvume ngaphambi kokwenza njalo. Isho okuthile okufana nokuthi: “Uxolo, ngicela ukubuza umbuzo?” Qiniseka, noma kunjalo, lowo mbuzo uhlobene nalokho abakutshela khona.
Vele, kungenzeka ukuthi awuvumelani nephuzu labo lilonke, kodwa uma kunjalo, linda baze baqede ukukhuluma ngaphambi kokuveza umbono wakho.
Uma udinga ukucaciselwa okwengeziwe, ngakho-ke kuhle ukubuza imibuzo eminingi ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi uyaqonda ngempela umbono wabo.
Ngokusebenzisa le ndlela, ungathola ukuthi nguwe onephela elingalungile lenduku noma ukuthi wayengazi ngemizwa yakho noma yini.
Kutholakala ngokulalela kuphela “ngenkuthalo” lapho uzothola khona.
9. Ungadlali Umdlalo Osolwa
Ungathola ukuthi uwela ogibeni oluvamile lokusebenzisa amabinzana asolayo anjengokuthi “Uhlala njalo…,” “Awusoze…,” “Ungenza…,” nokuthi “Awuzange u…”
Le misho ikhomba ukusolwa futhi ingenza umlingani wakho azizwe sengathi uyahlaselwa. Bese bangena kumodi yokuzivikela futhi izinto zingaqaqa kusuka lapho.
ungahlukana kanjani nomuntu
Zama indlela ehlukile esikhundleni sokusebenzisa izitatimende 'Mina' esikhundleni sezitatimende 'wena'. Okuthile okufana nokuthi “Ngizizwa ngicasukile lapho…,” kuthambisa ithoni futhi kususe isici sokusola kunoma yiliphi iphuzu olenzayo.
10. Gwema Ukufukamela Intukuthelo / Ukungaqondi
Yikhokho elidala, kepha noma kunjalo lifanele lapha:
Ungalokothi uvumele ilanga lishone ngengxabano.
Uma kungenzeka, thola noma yikuphi ukukhungatheka noma ama-angst onawo ngokuziphatha komlingani wakho, noma ngokuthile abakushilo, kuphumele obala ngaphambi kokulala.
Inketho elula kakhulu ukuthi uhlale uthule, kepha kuzohlala kunzima njalo ukubuyela esihlokweni kusasa futhi imizwa yakho emibi kungenzeka ukuthi isikhule ngaleso sikhathi.
Inkinga ebingabhebhetheka kalula ngobusuku bangaphambilini iba yinto enkulu futhi enkulu futhi iyindlela eyingozi kakhulu ukubala ngayo.
