Ngabe ujwayelene 'nokushaywa kweminyaka eyisikhombisa'?
Ngokusobala ihlobene nefilimu elingisa uMarilyn Monroe, lapho ubudlelwano balezi zithandani bunqamuka ngemuva kweminyaka eyisikhombisa.
Ezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi kuthatha cishe lesi sikhathi eside ukuba ubudlelwano bonakaliswe kusukela enjabulweni yangemva komshado kuya ekucasukeni nasekuphonseni izicathulo.
Kepha, empeleni, kuya ngabantu ababandakanyekayo, namandla abo.
Abanye abantu bangahlala ndawonye ngenjabulo ehambisanayo amashumi eminyaka, kuyilapho abanye beqala ukwehlisana ubuso ngobuso ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa.
Ubudlelwano buthatha umsebenzi, ukuzinikela, nokunakekela ukuze kuphumelele, kepha abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi uma imizwa yabo yokuqala iqala ukuphola futhi lokho kusho ukuthi ubudlelwano sebuphelile.
Lokhu akunjalo ngempela.
Abantu bahlala beshintsha, bekhula, bethuthuka… futhi ngenxa yalokho, ubudlelwano kufanele buguquke buguquke kanye nabo.
Uma ukhathazekile ongase ube nakho ukuwa ngothando nomyeni wakho, unkosikazi, noma umlingani wesikhathi eside, nazi izeluleko ezithile kuwe.
I-Wax Yobudlelwano Futhi Iyadamba, i-Ebb Nokugeleza
UJoni Mitchell wake washo okuthile kwinhlolokhono ezwakala iyiqiniso impela uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano besikhathi eside.
Ufunde isicaphuna kumagazini i-Esquire esithi: “Uma ufuna ukuphindaphinda okungapheli, bona abantu abaningi abehlukene. Uma ufuna ukuhluka okungenamkhawulo, hlala nokukodwa. ”
Lokhu kunengqondo lapho ucabanga ngakho ngempela.
Lapho abantu bethandana, bafaka i-façade yabo engcono kakhulu, ebukekayo kakhulu.
Banezindaba ezimangazayo abangazixoxa, izindlela ezincane ezithandekayo nezinyakazayo eziheha futhi zihehe into abayithandayo ...
… Kepha ngemuva kwakho konke okwedlule, futhi abantu bakha isibopho esisondelene, lawo maqhinga awasasebenzi.
Esikhundleni salokho, kuye kwasungulwa ubudlelwano obusondelene kakhulu: lapho okuvezwa khona izici zabantu ezingokoqobo, ezisengozini, futhi bathembeke ngokwengeziwe ngendlela abazizwa ngayo, kunokuzama ukwenza umbukiso omuhle ukugcina omunye enentshisekelo.
Asihambisani ngaso sonke isikhathi nabalingani bethu, ikakhulukazi lapho ngamunye angahle abhekane nezinkinga zakhe siqu noma izinkinga.
Ezinye zingathinta lowo muntu, kanti ezinye zingathinta ubudlelwano, njengezinkinga zezezimali noma ukugula okungathi sína.
Imizwelo iyancipha futhi igeleze, futhi ayi 'vuliwe' ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Uma omunye umlingani elwa nobunzima obungokomzwelo, kungenzeka bangabi nentshisekelo kwezocansi isikhathi esithile, okungenza omunye azizwe enganakiwe noma enqatshelwe ngokuphelele.
Yilapho ukuxhumana okusobala futhi okuvulelekile kusebenza khona…
Khuluma Ngayo
Le yinto ephindwe kaningi kule sayithi (nezinye eziningi), kepha iyaphinda futhi iyaphinda: ukuxhumana kuyisici esibaluleke kakhulu kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo .
Kaningi kunalokho, ubunzima obuningi bungancishiswa - noma bugwenywe ngqo - uma abantu bevele bakhulume bodwa, ngokusobala nangokuthembeka, ngokwenzekayo kubo.
Bazizwa kanjani, bakuphi ebudlelwaneni nasezimpilweni zabo, emsebenzini wabo, ezingeni labo eliphelele lokweneliseka, njll.
Abaningi bayakugwema ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zabo nabalingani babo ngoba besaba ukuthi bazoncipha emehlweni womunye umuntu, ikakhulukazi uma belwa nobunzima obungokomzwelo noma bengqondo.
Uma kwenzeka izinguquko ezinkulu, kepha zombili izinhlangothi zifuna ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni, ukuxoxisana kabusha okuthile kudinga ukwenzeka.
Cabanga ngakho njengokuhlola futhi uvuselele inkontileka: izimo nabantu bayashintsha, futhi nemingcele yobudlelwano ingadinga ukushintsha nayo.
Thatha ukuziphendukela kwemvelo komuntu siqu, izinguquko zomsebenzi, ama-epiphanies, kanye nokuncamelayo, bese uhlala phansi uxoxisane ngokuthi yini ezokwazi ukubasiza bobabili.
Lokhu kungabhekana nayo yonke into kusuka kuzinto zomuntu siqu kuye emithwalweni yemfanelo yokunakekela izingane / abadala, noma kungahlanganisa nokuthuthela endaweni ehlukile ndawonye.
uyazi ukuthi ngiyamthanda
Okusemqoka ukusungula kabusha ama-bond, nokuqinisekisana ukuthi nikhona komunye nomunye, noma ngabe izinto zinzima.
Ukukhuluma ngayo yonke le nto kungaba nzima, futhi kuyamangaza, ikakhulukazi uma uwuhlobo lokugcina imizwa yakho kuwe, kepha kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uvule futhi ukhulume nomlingani wakho ngezinto ezidinga ukulungiswa ngempela.
Uma unamahloni okuxoxa ngazo ubuso nobuso, bhala izincwadi. Noma ama-imeyili.
Noma yini edingekayo ukuvula inkhulumomphendvulwano nokulungisa izingqinamba okungenzeka ukuthi bezikhula isikhathi eside.
Khumbula ukuthi kungani uwe ukuze lo muntu aqale ngaye
Ngemuva kokuba ube nothile isikhathi eside impela, imikhuba emincane nemikhakha yabo owake wayithola ithandeka kungazelelwe kube… okucasulayo ngokungakholeki.
Ngesikhathi isigaba se-honeymoon , ama-hormone ethu nokuphakama kwemizwelo kuvimbela zonke izinhlobo zokucasulwa, kepha ngemuva kwesikhashana, umsindo wazo wokugoqa i-granola ngesikhathi sasekuseni ungakushiya ufuna ukuwafaka nge-toaster.
Yonke inkulumo ethi 'ukujwayela izala ukwedelelwa' izwakala iyiqiniso.
Into ukuthi, kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho kungenzeka ukuthi uzizwa ngendlela efanayo ngawe.
Khumbula lokho okuncane ngokuxhumana phambilini? Yebo, lokho. Lapho singakhulumi ngezinto ezisikhathazayo, ngisho nezinto ezibonakala zingabalulekile, ukucasuka kuyakha.
Futhi kuyakha.
Kuze kube ekugcineni usondela ekukhipheni lokho ofuna ukukwenza Hlukanisa ngoba bayishaye ikhofi labo kakhulu kakhulu kaningi kakhulu.
Lesi yisikhathi sokukhumbula ukuthi kungani ubathandile kwasekuqaleni.
Bheka emuva kokubhalwe ngesandla izincwadi zothando , ama-imeyili, imilayezo, imibhalo, njll. kusukela lapho nihlangana okokuqala, futhi khumbulani ukuthokozela okuncane enibe nakho njengoba nazi lo muntu.
Yini le ekwenze wawa kubo? Kwakungukumamatheka kwabo? Ukuhleka kwabo? Umusa wabo?
Ngabe ushaywe wumoya ngokwazi kwabo isihloko esithile?
Ngabe benze into ethandeka ngendlela engakholeki ukuthi bavele bakususe ezinyaweni zakho?
Lezi izinkumbulo ezishelela emifantwini lapho sigcinwa siphapheme ngokuhoshozela kozakwethu, noma lapho sisonga izingubo zabo zangaphansi ngenkathi besebenzelana nezingane ezimemezayo.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
izinto zokudala ongazenzela intombi yakho
- Ukuwa Othandweni: Izigaba Eziwu-10 Ozohamba Ngazo
- Uma Ufuna Ubudlelwano Obujabulisayo Futhi Obugcwalisayo, Setha Lezi Zinjongo Ezi-9
- Ingabe Uthando Lweqiniso Luyinketho Noma Umuzwa?
- Izizathu eziyi-13 zokuthi kungani ngikuthanda izingcezu
- Izinto Eziyi-10 Okufanele Uzenzele Isikhala Ebudlelwaneni
- Nesithukuthezi Ebudlelwaneni Bakho? Zibuze Lemibuzo Eyisithupha Kungani
Kwazise Okuhle
Impela, kungahle kube nezinto eziningana ngomlingani wakho ezikucasulayo kwesinye isikhathi, kepha kuthiwani ngazo zonke izinto ezimangalisayo abazenzayo?
Thatha iphephabhuku lakho (noma iphepha elilahliwe, okuthile ongabhala kukho) bese wenza uhlu lwazo zonke izinto ozithandayo ngalo muntu.
Ngabe bakwenzela itiye noma ikhofi lakho ngendlela oyithanda ngayo ekuseni ungacelwanga ukuthi wenze njalo?
Ngabe banomkhuba wokulanda lezimanga ezithakazelisayo lapho bephuma bayothenga?
Ingabe baba umzali ngenkuthalo, ngozwela olumnene nokunakekela okuqotho?
Banjani nabangane bakho bezilwane?
Njengoba wenza lokhu, ungathola ithani lezinto obuzithatha kalula, bese ubona izinto ezinhle ngokumangazayo ngomuntu okhethe ukuchitha impilo yakho naye.
Manje njengoba usenze uhlu oluhle kakhulu lwazo zonke izinto ezinhle ozithandayo ngomlingani wakho, bazise ukuthi yini oyithandayo ngazo.
Akubona bonke ohlangothini olulodwa, ngoba lokho kungenzeka kubenze bangakhululeki ngempela, kepha lapho isikhathi silungile sokwenza kanjalo.
Njengalapho bekunika ikhofi lakho lasekuseni: bamba isandla sakho noma ubange, ubazise ukuthi usazisa kangakanani leso senzo esincane, nokuthi awusoze wasithatha kalula.
Bese uzibuka zikhanya.
Dedela Okulindelwe Nentukuthelo
Noma nini lapho abantu ababili behlangana, kuzobakhona uhlobo lokungqubuzana kanye ngesikhathi.
Kungaba nezinto ezincane ezibangela ukucasuka isikhathi eside - njengokuhluleka okungapheli ukukhetha amasokisi abo angcolile phansi - noma kungahle kube nezinkinga ezibucayi, njengokuthandana, noma ukushiywa kwesikhashana ngenxa yezinkinga zomuntu siqu.
Futhi, kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngalezi zinto, futhi ugxile ekuxolelweni.
Ukwenza iphutha kungumuntu, futhi sonke sinecala lokulimaza, ukudumaza, nokucasula abanye ngoba besigxile ebubini bethu esikhundleni sokubheka ukuthi izenzo zethu zizobathinta kanjani.
Kuhlelo olukhulu lwezinto, ukuyeka ukulimala nentukuthelo kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obuzwana.
Baningi bethu abanokulindelwa kokuthi ozakwethu kufanele “babe” kanjani, ukuthi ubuhlobo “kufanele” bubukeke kanjani… kepha iqiniso libukeke nini ngempela okulindelwe thina ?
Abantu bayashintsha futhi bakhule kakhulu ukuze babe ngabantu abahluke ngokuphelele kusuka osukwini olulodwa kuye kolandelayo.
Umuntu onaye manje akasafani nakuye ngesikhathi nihlangana, futhi sibonga amazulu ngalokho, uma kungenjalo ngabe bamile.
Ngokufanayo, ukubambisana kwakho kungenzeka kudlule kuzinguquko eziningi ngenkathi nindawonye.
Ungadinga ukuchaza kabusha imingcele yobudlelwano ukuze uqhubekele phambili ngendlela eyenza wonke umuntu azizwe anelisekile.
Ubudlelwano bomuntu oyedwa bungenza kube nesithembu, noma okuphambene nalokho. Izinguquko zeHormonal (kungaba ezemvelo noma ngokushintshwa kobulili) zingathinta ukusondelana phakathi kobudlelwano , ngakho-ke leyo yindawo edinga ukuxoxisana nayo.
Uma ungenakho okulindelwe, awukwazi ukudumazeka.
Vele uqhubeke nokuxhumana ngezidingo zomunye nomunye, futhi nisekelane ohambweni lomphefumulo womuntu ngamunye ngokusemandleni akho, futhi ungahle umangale ngokujabula ngokuthi ubuhlobo bakho bungaba bukhulu kangakanani.
Setha Imigomo Ehlanganyelwayo Ukulwela Ukubambisana
Esinye isikhalazo esikhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi yesikhathi eside inakho ukuthi ayisebenzi ndawonye ekufezeni inhloso efanayo.
Abanye basebenza kanzima ukuthenga indlu, noma ukukhulisa izingane, kodwa lokho akusikho ukuthi inkomishi yetiye yawo wonke umuntu.
Kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, ukusebenzela into enhle, nokuhlala nje kusofa ndawonye, nibuke iTV futhi ningakhulumi noma nihlanganyele omunye nomunye.
Thola indlela yokuzibandakanya kabusha negoli noma iphrojekthi nobabili eniyithandayo.
Yini enifana ngayo nobabili?
Yini umgomo noma iphrojekthi eningachitha isikhathi ndawonye?
Ngabe nina nobabili nihlale niphupha ngokuhlakulela ingadi emangalisayo? Ingabe ama-cosplayers anentshiseko? Uyakuthanda ukuhamba?
Hlalani phansi nikhulume ngezinye zezinto enithanda ukuzenza nobabili, bese nithola okuthile okumele nilwele ukukwenza.
Qiniseka ukuthi kumnandi, kunokuba ube yiphrojekthi ezokudalela ukungezwani nokukhungatheka okuningi, bese unquma izinyathelo ezidingekayo ukuze ikwenze kube ngokoqobo.
kubiza malini ukuvuza kwegreg
Ukuba nephrojekthi efana nale kuzonivumela ukuthi nobabili niphinde nihlanganyele futhi. Uzoba namandla amasha okuphendukela kuyo, futhi nakanjani uzogudlulela okunye kwalokhu kukhanya ebuhlotsheni bakho bomuntu siqu.
Noma yikuphi ukubambisana okuhlala isikhathi eside kungangena enkingeni, nabalingani abagcina bezizwa njengezelamani noma abantu abahlala nabo ngezikhathi ezithile. Kwesinye isikhathi isikhathi eside.
Ekugcineni, ukhiye empeleni ukugcina engqondweni ukuthi umlingani wakho ungumuntu omangalisayo, futhi uyakujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi nabo ngesizathu.
Lo ngumuntu okwaziyo ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Bame ngawe ezikhathini ezinzima, bahlanganyela enjabulweni yakho kanye nasosizini lwakho, futhi bakwamukela unjalo.
Uma nobabili nenza umzamo wokubonisana, futhi nizame ukubonana njengabantu abahlukile, abantu abahle, kungenzeka ungakhumbuli nje ukuthi kungani wathandana ekuqaleni: ungathola izinto ezintsha ezikwenza ungene thanda futhi.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ubuyela kanjani othandweni nomlingani wakho? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
Leli khasi liqukethe izixhumanisi ezihambisanayo. Ngithola ikhomishini encane uma ukhetha ukuthenga noma yini ngemuva kokuchofoza kuzo.
