Kungani kunzima kangaka ukuzibeka kuqala?
Wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani, ohlelweni olukhulu lwezinto, sihlala sizithola sifile ekugcineni? Senza isikhathi sabanye, sithi yebo ekuzibophezeleni okungapheli, noma sivumelana nezinto esingafuni ukuzenza ekufuneni kwethu ukuba ‘umuntu omuhle.’
Sifuna abanye bacabange ukuthi ‘silungile,’ ngakho-ke nathi singaqala ukuzazisa njengathi ‘silungile’. Kungani singazazisi thina kusukela ekuqaleni? Kungani singaweli entanjeni kuqala ?
‘Umuntu omuhle.’ Kusho ukuthini lokho? Imvamisa sithatha isihlalo sangemuva ngenxa yamahloni nokwesaba ukuthathwa njengobugovu. Siyeka ukuthi 'cha' ezintweni esingazithandi, asizikhulumi futhi sihlala sicwile ngentukuthelo, sivumele abanye ukuthi basikhulumele, noma bakhulumele thina. Sinecala lokwenza izinto esingenakukwazi ukuzenza, noma esingafuni ukuzenza ngezizathu eziningi, ukugcina nje ukubukeka.
Inkinga ukuthi, kulokhu kufunwa ‘kokuhle,’ senza izinto ezingezinhle kithi.
Le ndatshana izobheka ezinye zezizathu ezikholisayo zokuthi kungani kumele uzibeke wena kuqala, kepha ake siqale kwasekuqaleni…
Kwenzeke Kanjani Lokhu?
Sibekelwe isimo kusukela ebuncaneni bokubeka abanye kuqala. Manje lokhu akuyona into embi kuyingxenye yokunikela nokuphila. Kumele sazi kusenesikhathi ukuthi kunabanye abantu abazulazula impilo kanye nathi, nokuthi ukubaphatha ngenhlonipho efanayo esifuna ukuphathwa ngayo kuzokwenza uhambo lwethu lube mnandi kakhulu.
Endaweni ethile emgqeni lokhu kuyathandeka, futhi kwabaningi bethu, sigcina size ekugcineni ekugcineni cishe konke, konke egameni lokuthi 'silungile.'
Cabanga emuva lapho useyingane, kukangaki utshelwa ukuthi 'ube muhle,' 'uqabule umalume wakho,' noma 'ugone umakhelwane'? Kukangaki uphoqeleka ukuthi ubekezelele abantu abaningi abangabekezeleleki kanye nokuziphatha konke egameni lokuba umuntu omuhle? UNkulunkulu akuvumeli ukuthi ungafuni ukuzihlanganisa nabantu ngoba ubungazwani nakho, noma ungafuni ukuphoqelelwa ukuba uqabule futhi ugone bonke ubuhlobo bomndeni okude noma umuntu omdala okungahleliwe ukuze ungabizwa ngokuthi uyingane embi futhi abazali bakho bangonga ubuso.
Ngesinye isikhathi, lezi zimilo zokubuyisana zagxila. Kakhulu kangako, manje, ngicela ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zethu noma kusungulwa imingcele akunakwenzeka kwabanye abantu abadala. Njengoba ukhula, wawujwayela lokhu okulindelwe okushaya phambili izidingo zakho nezifiso zakho uze uzinikezele eqinisweni lokuthi ‘kunje nje.’
Isikhathi sokulunga ngokuthi cha. Isikhathi sokulunga ngokuba nesikhala sakho, ungaphazanyiswa, ukuze uvuseleleke futhi ukhululeke ezimfunweni zabanye abantu. Kubalulekile ukuba ngikhululekile ecaleni ngokufuna ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho.
Ukusungula kabusha Imingcele
Usheshe uye ebudaleni. Sichitha amahora amaningi, kanye namadola, kusofa womeluleki sizibuza ukuthi kungani sinokuzethemba okuphansi, kungani sisebenza ngokweqile, nokuthi kungani ubudlelwano bethu buqhubeka buhluleka.
Ukuzibeka wena kuqala kuyisinyathelo esihle sokubuyisa okunye kokulawula owafundiswa ukukupha yonke leyo minyaka edlule. Siphambanise ubugovu nokuzinakekela. Sizimisele ukukholelwa ukuthi ukwenqaba kuzoba nemiphumela emibi emphakathini, kepha iqiniso elibi kakhulu ukuthi: 'imiphumela emibi' ingaphakathi, hhayi yangaphandle.
Ngakho-ke yiziphi izinzuzo zokuzibeka kuqala? Kuzokwenzekani uma ungafundi lezo zifundo zobuntwana eziphoqelelwe futhi ucabange ngezidingo zakho nezifiso zakho kube kanye?
i-alice yase-Wondland yayisangene lapha
Umzimba Nomqondo Wakho Uzokubonga Ngayo
Lapho uqala ukubeka izidingo zakho kuqala, uzobona ukuthuthuka okukhulu empilweni yakho engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Uma uvuma izidingo zakho, ngisho nezisisekelo kakhulu, ezinjengokuthi, 'Cha, ngiyaxolisa, angikwazi ukuphuma namhlanje kusihlwa, ngikhathele futhi ngidinga ukuphumula.', Noma ezomzwelo, 'Cha, mina angifuni ukuphuma, ngidinga isikhathi kimi. ”, kuyanika amandla, futhi kunempilo.
Khumbula: awulimalanga muntu ngokwenqaba isimemo ngenkathi kungenzeka badumazeke ekuqaleni, bazosinda.
Lokho okwenzile, noma kunjalo, ukubuyisela emuva ukulawula ... futhi lowo muzwa ukhulula ngendlela emangalisayo. Uzozizwa ungcono ngokuzimela. Ngokomzimba, udale isikhala sokuzivuselela nokunakekela umzimba wakho ngokuthola isikhathi sokuphumula esidingeka kakhulu, nangokwengqondo, ngokwazisa omunye umuntu ukuthi akudingeki kube nesizathu esenziwe, elula, 'Cha, Angifuni nje ukuphuma. ” kwanele.
Kulungile ukuthi cha ngaphandle kwesizathu esithile kunokuthile ongafuni ukukwenza. Lapho ungahlali ngaphansi kwejoka lesibopho senhlalo, ingqondo nomzimba wakho kuzokubonga.
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Ukuqhubeka Nentukuthelo
Akukho lutho olubi njengokuthi yebo, lapho usho ukuthi cha. Siyesaba imiphumela yokusolwa komphakathi kakhulu kunokwesaba ukukhokhisa imizimba yethu ngokomzimba, noma ukuzicindezela ngokwengqondo ukwenza abanye bazizwe bengcono nokugcina ibheji lethu 'lomfana omuhle'.
Uma uvuma ukwenza into ongafuni ukuyenza, ugcina usuyenza ngentukuthelo. Awuzivezi ngokugcwele ngoba umatasa kakhulu ucabanga ngezinto obukade uzijabulela, noma ezidinga ukwenziwa, kepha zifakwe kusishisi sangemuva ukuze ubeke izidingo zomunye umuntu kuqala.
Nawe futhi, ungahlosile, uba ngumnyango osondela emnyango. Uvula umnyango “wokusizakala ngami” ngoba uthumela umyalezo wokuthi “yebo” yiphutha lakho nokuthi uhlala njalo.
Khumbula: Awudingi ukwenza izaba ezibanzi zokuthi kungani ungafuni ukwenza okuthile. Akukho okwanele…
Lapho udadewenu ekuphoqelela ukuthi unakekele izingane mahhala isikhathi sekhulu, bese uphendula ngokuthi, 'Cha, angifuni ukubuka uSuzie kulobubusuku, ngidinga isikhathi kimi.'
Lapho abantu emsebenzini bekucindezela ukuba unikele isipho somshado sakamuva, isipho sokuvalelisa, ishawa baby, noma isikhwama esithi “ingane yami ithengisa ushokoledi wesisa”, vele uthi, “Cha, nginazo izinhlangano zosizo engivele nginikela ngazo.” noma 'Ngiyaxolisa, ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi uSally uyathandeka, kodwa angimazi ngakho-ke ngeke ngibe khona / nginikele.'
Lapho uvolontiya esikoleni sokuthengiselwa ukubhaka futhi kulo nyaka, ukhathele futhi awusafuni ukuqhubeka, kepha ucindezelwa abanye abazali noma kulindeleke ukuthi ngenxa yokuya esikhathini esedlule, okulula ngiyazi ukuthi ngisize eminyakeni emithathu edlule, kepha kulo nyaka angizukubhaka / ukuya / ukusiza. Nginezinye izinhlelo. ” kuzokwanela.
Azikho kulezi zimo ezisongela impilo eziphuthumayo futhi zingalawulwa ngaphandle kokukuphoqa. ‘Ezinye izinhlelo’ zakho azidingi enye incazelo. Leyo yingxenye yokusungula imingcele. Iqiniso lokuthi ukhombisile ukuthi awukwazi noma awufuni, liyisiginali eyanele. Abantu abangayihloniphi imingcele yakho, noma abanomuzwa wokuthi bakweletwa incazelo ngabantu ongabadingi empilweni yakho.
Zilungiselele: lapho uhlala uthi yebo, bese uqala ukuthi cha bese ubeka izidingo zakho nezinto ozifunayo kuqala, abantu bazokwenqaba. Bazocasuka, baze bathukuthele, ngoba bajwayele ukuzwa u- 'yebo' ongathandabuzi kuwe. Uma, ngemuva kokuba wenqabile, bengasasihloniphi isinqumo sakho, ungahle udinge ukubuhlola kabusha lobo budlelwano.
Ubudlelwano Bakho Buzokhula
Awukwazi ukuthanda umuntu ngokugcwele uma ungazithandi noma ungazinakekeli. Ungalindela kanjani izidingo zomunye umuntu kanye nezinto azifunayo ngenkathi ungenawo umbono ocacile owakho?
Konke kuqala ngawe: ukuze ube namandla okuhlanganyela ebudlelwaneni obunempilo nothile, udinga ukwazi ukugomela izidingo zakho, futhi ubanikeze isikhala sokuqinisekisa ezabo ngokuphepha. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ukupha nokuthatha lapho abantu ababili bengavuma abakudingayo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukujeziswa, noma ukuthi omunye umuntu uzobashiya ngokubakhulumela.
Lokhu akugcini nje ngobudlelwano bezothando lokhu kusebenza kuwo wonke umuntu ohlangana naye. Lowo ‘muntu omuhle’ obengeke ubulokhu umjaha impilo yakho yonke? Lowo muntu uphakathi lapho, futhi ubelokhu ekhona. Into ehlekisayo ukuthi, ukuzinakekela wena kuqala kukwenza umuntu ongcono ngoba kulapho kuphela lapho ungaba khona ngokugcwele, lapho ufuna ukuba khona, nabantu ofuna ukuba nabo, futhi ngenxa yalokho, uzibandakanya ngokweqiniso nokusemqoka empilweni .
Njengoba isisho sihamba, 'Awukwazi ukuthela ngenkomishi engenalutho.'
