Ukuhlangana ebudlelwaneni kungaba yinto enhle, kepha akuveli ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokwemvelo ngokuphelele. Imibhangqwana kwesinye isikhathi idinga ukusebenzela ukuyihlakulela.
Abantu bavame ukudideka ngomqondo wobungani kumongo wobudlelwano. Abazi ukuthi kusho ukuthini ngempela, kubukeka kanjani, noma kwenziwa kanjani ngokwakha.
Futhi abanye abantu bayangabaza ngakho. Bacabanga ukuthi abantu abakwazisayo ukuba nobudlelwano bakuyekile ukuthandana. Ukuthi bancamela ukuzitholela umlingani “olungile” kunokuzibeka engcupheni yokuba bodwa.
Ngilapha ukuze ngichaze ukuthi ubungani buyini, bungabaluleka kangakanani, indima obudlalayo ebudlelwaneni, nokuthi ungabuhlakulela kanjani.
Buyini ubudlelwano ebudlelwaneni?
Ubungani bumayelana nokuba nenkampani enhle yomuntu okhethe ukwabelana naye ngempilo yakho.
Imibhangqwana engabangane abahle ingabangane abakhulu. Abathandani nje kuphela bayathandana ngokweqiniso futhi. Futhi bayakujabulela kakhulu ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.
Benza isikhathi sokuba nomunye, futhi ngokuvamile babelana ngamanani afanayo, imibono ejwayelekile mayelana nokuhle nokubi.
Bangaba nezinhloso ezifanayo empilweni futhi bazimisele ukuxhasana ukwenza lezo zinhloso zigcwaliseke.
Bayiqembu kuzo zonke izici zokuphila, kusukela emisebenzini yasendlini, ekukhuliseni izingane, ukuvumela izinwele zabo phansi nokuba nesikhathi esimnandi.
Bayakwazi ukwethembeka ngokweqiniso komunye nomunye, bakhombise ubuqiniso babo nokuba sengozini. Banomusa, banobubele futhi bayashintshashintsha.
Ungabakha kanjani ubungani nomlingani wakho.
1. Yenza ukulalela kube yinto eza kuqala kuwe.
Izimpikiswano azikulungele ukwakha ubungani.
Uma ukwenza kuqala kwakho ukulalela okushiwo omunye nomunye kunokuzama ukuthola iphuzu lakho ngaso sonke isikhathi, maningi amathuba okuthi nibe nezingxoxo ezakhayo kunokuba nezimpikiswano ezonakalisayo.
2. Zimisele ukwamukela lapho wenze iphutha.
Akekho ohlale eqinisile. Uzowenza amaphutha futhi uzokwenza izinto zingahambi kahle.
Ingxenye yobungani obuyimpumelelo ukubona lokho nokufunda ukuthi ungazithatha kanjani izinto ezishiwo umlingani wakho njengokugxeka okwakhayo kunokuhlasela komuntu.
3. Thola izintshisekelo nemisebenzi ehlanganyelwe.
Isikhathi esiningi, ubudlelwano obuyimpumelelo bumayelana nokwabelana ngomsebenzi wasendlini neminye imithwalo yemfanelo. Kepha lokho akufanele kube ukuphela kwento owabelana ngayo.
Udinga ukukhetha ukuthi usebenzise isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye. Kanye nokuhlela ubusuku bosuku, bheka imisebenzi eningayijabulela nobabili ndawonye.
Ukuphuma nokuhamba nokusebenza kuqinisekisiwe ukuthi kusiza ekuqiniseni izibopho zombhangqwana.
4. Xoxa ngokuthembekile ngezidingo zakho, izidingo namaphupho akho.
Ukwethembeka kuyisihluthulelo sobungane. Awusoze wakuthola okufunayo nokudingayo ebudlelwaneni bakho uma ungekho qotho ngokuphelele futhi uvulelekile kubo ngalokho okubeka phambili.
Ungesabi ukuzala umphefumulo wakho futhi wabelane ngalokho okubonayo njengezimfihlo zakho ezijulile ezimnyama kakhulu. Ukuthembana komunye nomunye kuzosiza ekuqiniseni isibopho phakathi kwenu.
5. Babonise ukuthi babalulekile kuwe.
Qiniseka ukuthi umlingani wakho uyazi ukuthi ubudlelwano babo bubaluleke kangakanani kuwe, nokuthi awubathathi kalula.
Kanye nokuthinta okuhle kaninginingi, thola izindlela ezincane zokubakhombisa lokhu nsuku zonke. Amagama aphelele futhi mahle, kepha izenzo zakho zizobakhombisa ukuthi bangakwethemba.
6. Qaphela ukuthembela.
Kukhona umugqa omuhle kodwa obaluleke kakhulu phakathi kokuba umngane nothile nokuba uthembele kuye.
Nobabili kufanele nikwazi ukuthembana, kepha futhi kufanele nikwazi ukusebenza ngaphandle kwabo. Uma uncike kakhulu kumlingani wakho, khona-ke ubuhlobo bungabi yimpilo.
7. Hlonipha indawo yabo.
Sitholile ukuthi udinga ukugwema ukuncika, futhi ingxenye enkulu yalokho ihlonipha ukuthi nobabili ninezimpilo ezingaphandle kobudlelwano benu.
Esinye isici sokwakha ubungani ukuqinisekisa ukuthi nobabili nigcina izintshisekelo nobungane benu.
Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nihlonipha isikhala somunye nomunye futhi aniphambanisi isidingo sabo sokuchitha isikhathi nabanye abantu njengesibonakaliso ebudlelwaneni bakho.
ungasho kanjani ukuthi uyamthanda
8. Vulelani izimali.
Masibe neqiniso, izinto ezibonakalayo zempilo ziyingxenye enkulu yanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo. Uma nakha impilo ndawonye, lapho-ke kufanele nithembeke komunye nomunye ngezimali.
Xoxa ngezindaba zezezimali bese ukhuluma ngezinhloso zakho. Qiniseka ukuthi usekhasini elifanayo.
Ukuba sobala kwezezimali phakathi kwenu kuzokunikeza ukuthula kwengqondo futhi kukuqinisekise ukuthi ungathembela kumuntu okhethe ukwabelana ngempilo yakho naye.
Imibuzo imibhangqwana evame ukubuza ngobungani.
Nazi ezinye izimpendulo zemibuzo embalwa abantu abanayo kakhulu ngendima yobungani ebudlelwaneni.
Q: Ubudlelwano buhluke kanjani ebunganeni?
KUYA: Inkinga eyodwa abantu abaningi abanayo nomqondo wobungani ebudlelwaneni bothando ukuthi abakwazi ukubona ukuthi umugqa uphakathi kobungani nobungani.
Futhi uma bengaboni umehluko phakathi kwalaba bobabili, balwela ukuqonda indima yobungani ebudlelwaneni bezothando.
izinto ukuze uma unesithukuthezi
Ubungane bungaba nomvuzo omangazayo, futhi ubudlelwano bakho nabangani bakho ngethemba bungaba obunye bobudlelwano obubaluleke kakhulu nobunethonya empilweni yakho.
Kepha ubudlelwano bungesinye isigaba. Lokho akusho ukuthi kujulile noma kubaluleke ngaphezu kobungane, kepha kusho ukuzibophezela okwengeziwe nokwethembana komunye nomunye.
Umlingani ngumlingani wakho ebugebengwini nasempilweni. Ukubambisana kumayelana nokuhlangana nokwenza amasu empilo ndawonye, ukubhekelelana uma kuthathwa izinqumo, ukusekelana, nokuzidela ukuze kuzuze omunye nomunye.
Nabangane, nivame ukuthi nonke nihambe izindlela ezihlukene, ngenkathi nihlale nikhona ukuze nisekelane. Kepha nomlingani, ukhetha ukwenza indlela ndawonye.
Q: Ngabe ubudlelwano nezothando ziyahambisana, noma ungaba nakho kokubili?
KUYA: Ungaba nakho kokubili.
Ezothando nezocansi izinto ezimangalisayo, nengxenye ebalulekile yobudlelwano. Kodwa azanele ngokwazo.
Kufanele zihambisane nobungani uma ubudlelwano buzosebenza esikhathini eside esizayo.
Lokho kungenxa yokuthi amakhemikhali ezocansi ngeke akudlulise lapho izinto ziba nzima nakanjani. Bonke ubudlelwano buzodlula ezikhathini ezinzima, futhi lapho benza, ezothando azisona isisekelo esiqinile ngokwanele ukukusiza ukuthi udlule kubo.
Udinga ukuzilungiselela ukuxhasa ngokweqiniso umlingani wakho futhi uzimisele ukuzidela ukuze kuzuze ubuhlobo bakho.
Njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka, kungukuthi usayithokozela yini ingxoxo yabo, usuku nosuku, ungabathemba, futhi ube nezinhloso ezifanayo empilweni ezizokwenza umehluko, hhayi ukuthi ubathola beheha yini ngokocansi.
Q: Ingabe ubudlelwano banele ukuba nobudlelwano besikhathi eside obunempilo?
KUYA: Lona akuwona umbuzo engingakuphendula wona. Yinto umuntu ngamunye okufanele ayithole yedwa.
Kepha yebo, ngombono nangokwenza, ubungane bungaphezu kokwanele kobudlelwano besikhathi eside ukusebenza futhi bube lusizo kubo bobabili abalingani.
Ezothando ziyajabulisa, ziyajabulisa futhi zingenza impilo icwebezele. Kodwa iqiniso ukuthi emibhangqwaneni eminingi, ayihlali unomphela. Ukushesha kokuqala kothando lomdlandla wothando kuyaphela, kepha kuthathelwa indawo uhlobo oluhlukile lothando.
Uthando olususelwa ekuhloniphaneni nasekuxhasaneni, izintshisekelo ezabiwe, umlando owabiwe, kanye nesifiso sangempela sokuchitha isikhathi nomlingani wakho futhi ubenze bajabule.
Lokho kungaphezu kokwanele kwesisekelo sobudlelwano obunempilo.
Q: Ziyini izinzuzo zokwakha ubungane?
KUYA: Umuzwa oqinile wobungani nomlingani wakho ungenza umehluko empilweni yakho ndawonye. Kusho ukuthi unomuntu owabelana naye konke, noma kukuhle noma kubi.
Umuntu wokugubha impumelelo yakho futhi akusekele lapho izinto zingahambi kahle. Umuntu okwaziyo, futhi owaziyo, ngaphakathi nangaphandle, futhi ongakhuluma naye nganoma yini.
Ukwakha ubudlelwano nomlingani kusho ukuthi ngamunye uyazi ukuthi unedwala lokunamathela lapho izinto ziba nzima. Futhi, ngokwazi ukuthi unakho lokho kusekelwa okuqinile ngemuva kwakho, nobabili nizozethemba ukuphuma lapho futhi nakhe impilo yamaphupho enu.
Q: Ingabe kunzima ukwakha ubungane?
KUYA: Uthando lwezithandani, olunothando lungeza ngokwemvelo kunobungani.
Uthando yinto ongawela kuyo ngokushesha futhi kalula, kepha ubudlelwano akuyona into eqala ngokushesha.
Kuthatha isikhathi ukwazana ngempela nokwakha ukwethembana.
Kepha ngokubekezela nokuzibophezela okuningi, ungazithola usesebudlelwaneni obukhipha okuhle kini nobabili futhi obuzobhekana nesikhathi.
Ngabe awunasiqiniseko sokuthi buyini ubungani noma ukuthi ungabakha kanjani nomlingani wakho? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
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