Ngakho-ke, awukashadi, futhi usuqala ukuzibuza ukuthi ngabe yiso kuphela isandla osuke waphathwa ngaso empilweni.
Indlela izinto ezihamba ngayo, ucabanga ukuthi kumele ngabe kubhalwe ndawana thize ukuthi awukaze wenzelwe ukuthola umaqondana.
Ingabe umiselwe ukuhlala ungashadile? Akunakugwenywa yini ukuthi uzoba wedwa?
Akekho “ohloselwe” ukuba yedwa futhi angahlali engashadile impilo yakhe yonke. Akekho umuntu omiselwe ngaphambili ukuthi angalutholi uthando.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abanye abantu bahlala bengashadile kukho konke ukuphila kwabo.
Abanye abantu bakhetha ukungashadi, kanti abanye abakaze bathole ukuthi umuntu ofanele ukudela inkululeko yakhe eyigugu.
Futhi abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi bazama konke okusemandleni abo ukuthola umuntu ofanele, futhi abaqondi ukuthi kungani izinto zingaze ziphumelele.
Abanye abantu banezinto ezimayo endleleni yabo uma kuziwa ekwakheni ubudlelwano obunempilo, obuhlala isikhathi eside, kodwa kube nzima ukuqonda ukuthi yiziphi lezo zinkinga.
Ngakho-ke, kule ndatshana, sizobheka ukuthi yini engakuvimbela ekutholeni uthando bese sibheka ukuthi kungani impilo eyodwa ingaba impilo enhle, enelisekile.
Izizathu ezi-6 zokuthi kungani ungakuthola kunzima ukuthola umuntu ofanele:
Abantu abakuzungezile babonakala bakuthola kulula kakhulu ukushelela ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside, kepha ukuthola kunzima kakhulu. Futhi awazi ukuthi kungani lokho kunjalo.
Mhlawumbe ubudlelwane bakho abubonakali buhlala isikhathi eside, noma uqhubeka uzithola ubudlelwano obungenampilo obulimaza kuphela.
Lokho akusho ukuthi umiselwe ukuhlala wedwa ingunaphakade.
Kungase kube nezizathu ezithile zokuthi kungani ulwela ukuthola ubudlelwano obufuna kangaka.
Kungaba umsebenzi onzima ukunqoba, kepha ngokugxila kubo, ungazimangaza ukuthi lukhulu kangakanani ushintsho olwenza empilweni yakho yothando.
Nazi ezinye ezinkulu kakhulu:
1. Unezinkinga zokuzibophezela noma zokulahla.
Enye yezinto ejwayelekile ukuma endleleni yabantu abakha ubudlelwano obuqinile, obuhlala njalo uma banezinkinga ngokuzibophezela noma ngokulahla, noma ngabe bayazazi noma cha.
Uma ulwa nokuzibophezela, khona-ke uzohlala uthola izaba zokuqeda ubuhlobo, noma ngabe uthembisa kangakanani.
Ngemuva kwesikhathi se-honeymoon lapho izinto ziqala ukuba zimbi kakhulu, ngokuzumayo uzokwesaba ngokuphelele futhi uthole indlela yokubaleka.
Uma ngabe ukulahlwa kuyinkinga yakho, ungahle ucindezele abantu ngoba unalokho kunokuba ubavumele bakulimaze, noma ubambelele futhi ungathembi ukuthi abantu ozibandakanya nabo kwezothando nje abakwazi ukubhekana nakho.
Funda kabanzi:
Izimpawu eziyi-10 Othile Unenkinga Yokuzibophezela (+ Ungazinqoba Kanjani)
indlela yokwethemba amadoda ngemuva kokulimala
Izimpawu ezingama-20 Othile Unezinkinga Zokulahlwa (+ Ungazinqoba Kanjani)
2. Ujwayele ukuphinda amaphethini obudlelwano obungenampilo.
Inkinga yakho kungenzeka ukuthi awusitholi isifundo sakho.
Uma unokuhlangenwe nakho okubi ebudlelwaneni, khona-ke kungaba okunengqondo ukucabanga ukuthi uzoqikelela ukuthi ubheke izimpawu ezifanayo eziyisixwayiso ngokuzayo futhi ungenzi amaphutha afanayo kabili.
Kepha uma ubonakala uphinda amaphutha afanayo kaninginingi, kuzodingeka ukuthi ubhekisise isikhathi eside ukuthi kungani lokho nokuthi ungayikhahlela kanjani le mikhuba emibi yobudlelwano.
Funda kabanzi: Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukuphindaphinda Amaphethini Obudlelwano Obungenampilo
3. Uyeka kalula lapho izinto ziba nzima.
Ubudlelwano abusoze buqonde ngqo, kepha abantu abaningi babonakala bekuphika lokho.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi ubudlelwano obulungele wena buzoba bushelelezi ngomkhumbi kuze kube phakade naphakade, lapho-ke uzodumazeka.
Inkinga yakho kungenzeka ukuthi ujwayele ukushiya umkhumbi ngokushesha lapho izinto seziyindida ukude kunokunamathela ekusebenzeni ngezinto, ziphume ziqine ngakolunye uhlangothi.
Kumele ukwamukele ukuthi uthando alukho lula futhi nobudlelwano obuhle kakhulu bunama-patches amatshe.
Kuphela uma ungasho ngobuqotho ukuthi uzimisele ukunamathela ezikhathini ezinzima lapho uzokwazi khona ukwakha ubuhlobo obuhlala njalo, obunothando.
Funda kabanzi: Kungani Ubudlelwano Kufanele Bube nzima Kangaka?
4.Uzibona ungalufanele uthando.
Uma wonke umuntu ebonakala sengathi ubhanqiwe futhi awukashadi, lapho-ke inkinga ingahle ihlangane nokuzethemba kwakho.
Mhlawumbe inkinga ukuthi awucabangi nje ukuthi uyakufanelekela ukuthandwa yindoda noma owesifazane olungile, ngakho-ke ugcina ududulela abantu kude noma uzilimaza noma nini lapho uhlangana nomuntu othembisayo.
Funda kabanzi: Izizathu ezinhlanu ezingezona izizathu zokuthi kungani ucabanga ukuthi awufanelwe uthando
5. Unamathemba angenakwenzeka.
Nginomngane okwathi, lapho sisebancane, saba nokulindela okukhulu emhlabeni.
Wayeqiniseka ukuthi uzoshada futhi abe nezingane ezincane, futhi ngoba yilokho ayekufuna, akazange anike noma iyiphi indoda angayiboni njengempahla yomshado eseduze ithuba. Futhi lokho bekukuhle kakhulu uma ucabanga ukuthi besikuma-20s ethu okuqala.
Kwasho ukuthi, yize ayefuna ukuthola uthando, wacindezela imithwalo yamadoda amangalisayo, futhi wayengashadile isikhathi eside futhi eba muncu ngakho.
Ngemuva kweminyaka eminingi yalokho futhi esejabhile impela, waba nenhlanhla yokuhlangana nowesilisa owayephila ngokuvumelana nezindinganiso zakhe futhi owayelungele lolo hlobo lokuzibophezela ngqo, futhi manje usemshadweni ojabulayo.
Noma kunjalo, iphuzu ukuthi, waba nenhlanhla enkulu yokuthola umuntu owenza ngokuvumelana nalokho ayekulindele ekugcineni, kepha wahlupheka kakhulu okwamanje ngoba akekho owesilisa owayengenza lelo banga, yize ayelangazelela ukuthola umuntu ozomhlanganyela impilo nge.
Futhi abantu abaningi abayitholi leyo nhlanhla. Ufuna ubudlelwano nomuntu wangempela, ngemuva kwakho konke. Futhi abantu bangempela bagcwele amaphutha nokuphikisana.
ungabona kanjani ukuthi umuntu wesifazane uyakuthanda
Akekho umuntu ophelele futhi kuseduze ngokwanele ukuthola umuntu ozothikha ibhokisi ngalinye kuhlu lwakho lokuthi ufunani kumlingani ophelele.
Ngakho-ke, ngenkathi kukuhle ukuba nezindinganiso ezinempilo futhi ungazithengisi ufushane noma wamukele okungaphansi kokufanelekile, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi ubudlelwano obulungele wena kungenzeka bungabi yibo ubuhlobo obufanele onabo ekhanda lakho.
Funda kabanzi: Ukulindela Okungenangqondo Okufanele Kugwenywe Ebudlelwaneni
6. Usuyisigqila se-honeymoon.
Uyawazi lowo muzwa lapho usanda kuhlangana nomuntu? Umdumo wokuba ulungile ekuqaleni kobudlelwano? Lapho ama-hormone ekwenza uziphathe ngokuphelele ngaphandle kwesimilo, njengendoda noma owesifazane onemimoya? Leso yisikhathi sokuxokozela kodwa futhi yisikhathi esijabulisayo.
Abanye abantu bayakuzonda ukungaqiniseki kwalesi sigaba sobudlelwano, kepha abanye abantu bayasithanda. Futhi abakwazi ukubhekana nesimo lapho isasasa liqala ukufiphala ukuze lithathelwe indawo okuthile okuzolile, okungenantshisekelo, nokungabizi kakhulu.
Ngakho-ke, uma ulwela ukwakha okunamathiselwe okuhlala njalo, lokhu kungaba yinkinga yakho.
Uma uhlala unovalo lapho ukuthothuka kothando kuqala kuphela bese unquma ukuthi lolu shintsho emizweni lusho ukuthi akulungile kuwe kunokukwamukela njengokujwayelekile, kungaba lapho wenza iphutha khona.
Khumbula ukuthi, yize isigaba sokuqala singaba yinhloko futhi sikugcine ezinzwaneni zakho, isigaba lapho usumazi ngempela omunye umuntu futhi uvikelekile othandweni lomunye nomunye singcono kakhulu.
Zama ukuthatha ikhefu.
Uma ubulokhu ufuna uthando isikhathi eside futhi bekungasebenzi, kungakuhle uthathe isikhathi esithile uphume.
Uma uzoba nobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo, okokuqala kudingeka ufunde ungajabula kanjani wedwa . Unganeliseka kanjani enkampanini yakho futhi uzithande lokho oyikho. Kuyinto ehlekisayo ngoba iyiqiniso.
Isikhathi esithile sokuphuma othandweni singakusiza ukugxila kokunye, sikufundise ukuthi ungazimela kanjani, futhi sikuyeke ucindezele kakhulu kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano bothando ongabakha ngokuzayo, nakuwe uqobo.
Kungakusiza ukuthi ujabule ngomqondo wokuphola futhi uma usulungile, kepha okwamanje, kungasiza ekuqiniseni obunye ubudlelwano bakho futhi kufinyelele ibhalansi engcono nxazonke.
Impilo engashadile ingaba impilo ephelele, ejabulisayo.
Ngokuphikisana nalokho umphakathi ozama ukusitshela kona, ukukhetha ukuhlala ungashadile akuyona indlela yokuphila evumeleke kancane. Futhi akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukuhola impilo ejabulisayo, egcwalisekile, egcwele inkumbulo.
Ungahola impilo ekhukhumele egcwele ama-adventures amahle, ngobudlelwano obugcwalisayo nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukile.
Ukukhetha ukungashadi akukwenzi ube ngumuntu omncane, yize kunesiko elidumile (futhi mhlawumbe nezihlobo zakho ezicasulayo emibuthanweni yomndeni) elingazama ukukwenza ukholwe.
Ungahle uphuthelwe izinto ezithile, kepha uzoba nokuhlangenwe nakho abantu abakhetha ukubhangqa abangasoze bakwenza.
Kepha uma ukhetha ukungashadi, noma nje ungalokothi uthole umuntu ofuna ukuhlanganyela naye impilo yakho, kufanele uqiniseke ukuthi uzamukela ngokugcwele zonke izinzuzo zempilo eyodwa futhi uzizungeze ngenethiwekhi yokusekela eqinile.
Qiniseka ukuthi uthela lonke uthando lwakho ebuhlotsheni bakho obuhle nomndeni nabangane bese ukhetha umsebenzi ozokufeza futhi ukududule.
Futhi yenza iphuzu lokuba yingxenye ebalulekile yomphakathi okuzungezile - isonto, izinhlangano zosizo, izinhlangano zomphakathi kanye namaphrojekthi. Lokhu kuzogcwalisa impilo yakho ngencazelo futhi kunikeze namathuba amaningi wobungane nobungane.
Ungalokothi uyeke ukufunda nokufuna ukwazi ngomhlaba okuzungezile.
Lisebenzise ngokugcwele iqiniso lokuthi akudingeki uphendule noma ngubani noma wenze ukuyekethisa kunoma ngubani, futhi uphile impilo yakho ngokuphelele ngokwemibandela yakho, ngaphandle kokuphikisa.
Phila nomaphi lapho ujabule khona kakhulu, yenza izinto ozithandayo, futhi ungavumeli noma ubani ahlehle.
Uthola ithuba elilodwa kuphela empilweni, ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi ukhetha indlela ekujabulisa, noma ngabe ukhetha ukuhamba nomunye umuntu noma cha.
Ufuna ukuba ngcono ekuqomeni futhi ufunde ukuthi ungakuguqula kanjani lokho kube ubuhlobo besikhathi eside? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
Ungahle uthande:
- Izizathu Ezi-13 Zokuba Nethemba Uma Ukhathazekile Awusoze Wathola Uthando
- Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukufuna Ubudlelwano: Amathiphu angu-8 Uma Ululangazelela Uthando
- Uma ungakaze ube ebudlelwaneni noma nithandane, khumbula lezi zinto eziyi-7
- Yeka Ukwesatshiswa Ukuqomisana: Amathiphu Aphezulu ayi-10 Wokudlula Ukukhathazeka Kokuthandana
