Ngabe uthola ukuthi abantu bavame ukukhuluma ngabo, kuqala kunakho konke?
Noma mhlawumbe ucasule othile ungahlosile ngokwabelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu lapho bezama ukwabelana yabo indaba nawe?
Isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu uCharles Derber unikeze le ndlela yokuziphatha lokhu igama - i-narcissism yokuxoxa.
Yize ngokuvamile kungukuziphatha okucashile nokungazi lutho, i-narcissism yokuxoxa isifiso sokuthatha ingxoxo, ukukhuluma okuningi, nokuhambisa ukunakekelwa kwengxoxo ngokwakho.
UDerber ukholelwa ukuthi lokhu “kungukubonakaliswa okuyisisekelo kwengqondo ethola ukunakwa eMelika.”
ukucabanga ngomunye umuntu ngenkathi usebudlelwaneni
Ingxoxo ifana nomdlalo wokubamba. Umuntu ophethe ibhola uyiphonsa komunye bese beyiphonsa emuva.
Ingxoxo enhle ngokujwayelekile izosebenza ngendlela efanayo. Umuntu oyedwa uzonikela bese kuthi lowo abakhuluma naye abuye anikele. La maqembu womabili aphonsa ibhola lawo lokufanisa emuva naphambili.
Kepha abantu banentambo yokukhuluma ngabo noma ngabantu besithathu abengekho ngaphezu kwalowo abadlala naye[eyodwa].
Isizathu ukuthi lapho umuntu ezwa indaba, ingqondo yakhe iqala ukufuna okuhlangenwe nakho akwenzile okungasiza ekuqondiseni lokho akuzwayo.
Inkinga ukuthi okwethu okuhlangenwe nakho nokwenziwa kokuqukethwe kungenzeka kungahambelani nomunye umuntu noma okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo.
Sinezindawo ezahlukene ezingokomzwelo. Futhi ukusho into efana nokuthi, 'Ngiyakuqonda.' ukwenza ukugxuma nokucabanga okukhulu ngokuthi lowo muntu uzizwa kanjani futhi ububona kanjani ulwazi lwabo.
Kungathuka ngokusobala futhi kulimaze, kuya ngobukhulu bento okukhulunywa ngayo.
Ngokumangazayo, ukukhuluma ngawe kubangela izingxenye ezifanayo zobuchopho ezibhekele injabulo nokuvuza[okubili].
Ubuchopho buzwa uhlobo olufanayo lokuzwa okujabulisayo kusuka ekukhulumeni ngawe njengoba kwenzeka ekudleni ukudla noma ocansini.
Ngakho-ke kunengqondo ukuthi ngokwemvelo besizothambekela kulolu hlobo lokuziphatha, hhayi nje kuphela ngenjabulo kanye nomvuzo wengxenye yobuchopho bethu obudubulayo, kodwa nesifiso sokuba ngumuntu omuhle nosekelayo kubantu esibakhathalelayo.
ungayenza kanjani intombi yakho ibe nothando
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi i-narcissism yokuxoxa iyindlela yokuziphatha esingasebenza ngayo ukunqanda ngaphakathi kwethu. Ukushintsha isimilo, kufanele siqale sikwazi ukukukhomba.
Izibonelo ZeNarcissism Yokuxoxa Ekusebenzeni
I-narcissism yengxoxo imayelana nomuntu obuyisa ingxoxo ukuze anikeze lowo muntu elinye ithuba lokukhuluma ngaye.
Kepha lokho kubukeka kanjani?
Esinye sezibonelo ezilandelayo siqokomisa izindlela umuntu angalawula ngazo ingxoxo ngokuyibuyisela kubo, imizwa yabo, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo.
Isibonelo 1
Ubabekazi kaJohn wamkhulisa kusukela esemncane. Uyadlula emhlabeni. Ulwela ukusekelwa, utshela umngani wakhe u-Adam, “Hheyi, ngicindezelekile impela manje. Ubabekazi udlulile emhlabeni. ”
U-Adam, efuna ukusekela, ubheka ukuthola esivumelana ngakho noJohn ngokuxoxa ngokulahlekelwa okungokwakhe, “Ngiyakuqonda okushoyo. Ngesikhathi ubaba wami edlula emhlabeni, ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi yonke into emhlabeni wami ime… ”
Isibonelo 2
“Ngithole ukunyuselwa emsebenzini!” U-Amber ubabaza uJennifer. 'Ngizoba umphathi weprojekthi esikhundleni sokusebenza ngaphakathi kwephrojekthi!'
'Kuhle lokho!' UJennifer uyaphendula. “Ngifisa sengathi ngabe ngibe nenhlanhla enjalo emsebenzini wami. Umphathi wami akabekezeleleki futhi angibonakali ngenza noma yini efanele muva nje. Ngicabanga ukuthi kungadingeka ngiqale ukufuna umsebenzi omusha. ”
Isibonelo 3
“Manje wenzani ukuze uphile?” UJason ubuza uStacy.
'O, ngisebenza njengomthengisi lapho ngidayisa khona izimoto.'
“Ngempela? Izindawo zokuthengisa izimoto zinomthunzi. Ngizamile ukuthenga imoto kule ndawo futhi abakwenzile ukunginikeza ithuba lokugijimisa imigomo nezinkokhelo. Kwathi lapho ekugcineni sikwenza lokho, imoto yaba ulamula! ”
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
malini mrbeast worth
- Izibonelo Ezi-9 Zokuziphatha Okufuna Ukunakwa Kubantu Abadala
- Ungayigcina Kanjani Ingxoxo Iyaqhubeka Futhi Ugweme Ukuthula
- Izinhlobo Ezi-8 Zokulalela Ezisetshenziswa Abantu
- 8 Izithiyo Zokuxhumana Okuphumelelayo
- Izindlela Zokuziphatha Ezi-9 Ezingahle Zixoshe Abangane Bakho
- Izimpawu Ezi-9 Zokuhlakanipha Okuphakeme Komphakathi
Ungayinqanda Kanjani Ingxoxo Yezingxoxo ZeNarcissism Futhi Uyeke Ukukhuluma Ngawe
Uma sibheka izibonelo ezahlukahlukene, singabona lapho umuntu okhulunywa naye ebuyisela khona ingxoxo kubo, kunokuba anikeze umlingani wabo wengxoxo isikhala abasidingayo sokuqeda imicabango nemizwa yabo.
Esibonelweni 1, u-Adam uzama ukuba ngumngani omuhle ngokuthola esivumelana ngakho noJohn ngokulahlekelwa ngubabekazi wakhe.
Njengoba uJohn esendaweni enzima ngokomzwelo, angahumusha okwenziwe ngumngani wakhe njengokucwebezela ubuhlungu bakhe noma kube sengathi u-Adam akatholakali ukumuzwa.
U-Adam ngokuqinisekile angacabanga emuva kokulahlekelwa kwakhe ukuze acabange kangcono ubuhlungu bomngane wakhe, kodwa indlela engcono ukuthi asho into efana nokuthi, “Ngiyaxolisa ukuzwa ngokulahleka kwakho. Ngabe uyafuna ukukhuluma ngakho? ” Futhi vele ube khona ngomngani wakhe.
Esibonelweni 2, u-Amber ujabulile ngokukhushulwa kwakhe kanye noshintsho emsebenzini wakhe.
UJennifer, onenkinga enzima emsebenzini wakhe, engahlosile ubuyisela ingxoxo kuye ngokusebenzisa leli thuba ukukhipha ukukhathazeka kwakhe, ngaleyo ndlela kufiphaze injabulo nokufezeka kuka-Amber.
Inkinga esobala ngalokhu kuziphatha ukuthi uJennifer ngokungazi utshela u-Amber ukuthi akanandaba nenjabulo ka-Amber futhi ubheka izinkinga zakhe njengezibaluleke kakhulu.
Indlela engcono kungaba ukuthi uJennifer avume futhi abungaze ukufezeka komngani wakhe. Uma edinga ukuveza owakhe umsebenzi, kungaba ngcono ukuthi alinde isikhathi esihlukile ngokuphelele sokuwenza.
Esibonelweni 3, uJason ulalele uStacy kuphela ukuze athole ithuba elifanele lokukhuluma ngaye.
Impendulo yakhe ebizweni lakhe alikhethile linobugovu ngoba kumayelana naye nesipiliyoni sakhe esibi ngokuthenga imoto endaweni engabazisayo.
Indlela elula yokuthi uJason alungise indlela yakhe ukusetha amava akhe amabi eceleni bese egxila kokuhlangenwe nakho kukaStacy.
Ubengabuza kalula imibuzo evumayo ukumnika isikhala esengeziwe sokukhuluma ngomsebenzi wakhe. Imibuzo efana nale: 'Kungani uthathe isinqumo sokungena kulolo hlobo lomsebenzi?' 'Kunjani ukusebenza endaweni yokuthengisa izimoto?' 'Yini into oyithandayo ngomsebenzi wakho?'
yiziphi izimfanelo ozifunayo kumngane
Ukhiye wokunqanda i-narcissism yakho yokuxoxa ukwazi ukukhomba amaphethini akho nokuziphatha kwakho ezingxoxweni zakho.
Ingabe zikhona izikhathi lapho ucasule othile ngoba engazizwa sengathi ubemlalela? Noma ukuthi ubufihla ulwazi lwabo?
Wake washiya ingxoxo ungakhulumi ngempela ngomunye umuntu nganoma iyiphi imininingwane enhle?
Ngabe uvame ukulawula ingxoxo ngendaba ngemuva kwendaba mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho?
Kulungile ngokuphelele ukudweba kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho komongo nolwazi olungeziwe, kepha imvamisa umqondo omuhle ukugwema ukukhuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho ngokujulile.
Okuhlukile uma ukhuluma nomlingani wakho noma umngani omkhulu futhi nina nobabili nizinikela ngokuzithandela isikhathi sokulayisha izinkinga zabo - ngendlela elinganayo.
Ungabhekana Kanjani nabantu Abalawula Izingxoxo
Ukukhuluma ne-narcissist yokuxoxa kuyindaba ehluke ngokuphelele.
Ungazithola ungakwazi ukuthola igama ngokunqenqemeni njengoba bezama njalo ukubuyisela ingxoxo kubo!
Into ebaluleke kakhulu okufanele uyiqonde mayelana ne-narcissism yokuxoxa ukuthi abantu abaningi abaqapheli ukuthi bayakwenza.
Kungumphumela wemvelo wendlela esixoxa ngayo nokuthi umphakathi wethu usebenzisana kanjani nokunakwa.
Ingxoxo eqondile mayelana nokuziphatha imvamisa iyindlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nakho.
Uma umuntu eqhubeka ekusika noma ebuyisela ukugxila kuye, ziqinisekise futhi ubuze ukuthi ngabe bayabona yini ukuthi babuyisela ingxoxo kubo kunokuba babe nengxoxo efanayo.
Umuntu ongaboni ukuthi bayakwenza kepha uzama nje ukuba ngumngane omuhle ngethemba ukuthi uzosizwa leso sitatimende futhi enze ukulungisa ekuziphatheni kwabo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungathola ukuthi empeleni abanendaba noma abacabangi ukuthi lokhu okushoyo kubalulekile, futhi uzokwazi ukuthi ungazihluphi ngokwenza lezo zingxoxo nabo noma ulindele ukuthi bazinakekele.
kuthiwani uma ungenabo abangane
Awukwazi ukuphoqa umuntu ukuthi anakekele noma aguqule lokho okungafuni. Akunasizathu sokuchitha amandla angokomzwelo abalulekile ngokuzama ukuwashintsha.
Imithombo
eyodwa. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02912493
ezimbili. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-neuroscience-of-everybody-favorite-topic-them ones/
