Ukuxolisa kuyithuluzi elinamandla lapho isetshenziswe kahle.
ungithumelela imiyalezo nsuku zonke kepha akafoni
Inkinga ukuthi abantu bangawela kuphethini wokuxolisa ngokweqile, okudala umbono omubi womuntu othi, 'Ngiyaxolisa.'
Ukushintsha lowo mkhuba kungaba yithuluzi elinamandla siza ukwakha ukuzethemba , ukuzethemba, nokuqinisa ubudlelwano bethu nabanye abantu.
Kube nezifundo eziningana kukho konke ukuxolisa nokuxolisa ngokweqile okukhombise amaqiniso athokozisayo.
Abesifazane bavame ukuxolisa kaningi kunamadoda, hhayi ngoba amadoda ayangabaza ukuthi 'ngiyaxolisa,' kodwa ngoba amadoda awacabangi ukuthi enze okungalungile kaningi ukwedlula abesifazane.
Kuvela ukuthi abesifazane ngokuvamile banomkhawulo ophansi walokho abakubheka njengokuziphatha okuhlaselayo.
Lokho kuziphatha akubeki ezimweni zokuphila ezinganciphisa ukuphoqelelwa noma kudingeke ukuthi, 'Ngiyaxolisa.'
Abasinde ekuhlukunyezweni emakhaya, abasinde ekuhlukunyezweni kwezingane, abantu abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka, nabasinde ekuhlukumezekeni nabo bangaxolisa ngokweqile indlela yokubhekana nayo ukugwema ukulimala noma imizwa engakhululekile.
Ukuziphatha okunikeze lowo osindile ngenkathi besesimweni esibi kungaba nemiphumela emibi empilweni yabo yangasese neyomsebenzi ngaphandle kwalezo zimo.
Ngaleso sikhathi, kuba umkhuba ongafuneki okufanele ushintshwe ukuze baqhubeke belapha futhi bakhule.
Imibono Emibi Yabantu Abaxolisa Kakhulu
Ukuxolisa ngezinto ongenasibopho sazo, ukulawula phezu kwazo, noma izinto ezincane empilweni kudala imicabango emibi ezingqondweni zabanye.
1. Kubukela phansi ukuxolisa okuqotho okubalulekile.
Sonke siyawenza amaphutha empilweni. Ukuxolisa ngokushintsha kokuziphatha kungenye yezindlela eziqinisekile zokusiza ukulungisa amabhuloho alimele.
Umuntu onikeza ukuxolisa okungaphezulu kokukha phezulu ubukela phansi ukuxolisa kwabo okuqotho.
Umuntu okuxoliswa kuye angahle angacabangi ukuthi lowo onikeza ukuxolisa uyiqiniso ngoba bathi 'ngiyaxolisa' ngezinto eziningi ezingaphezulu.
Kulimaza isisindo segama lomuntu nokwethembeka kwabo.
2. Kuthinta ukuzethemba komuntu.
Isenzo sokuxolisa kaningi sinomthelela ongaqondile kokungazi komuntu.
Bahlale bezitshela ukuthi basendleleni noma bayazihlupha, ikakhulukazi uma benza izinto ezifana nokuxolisa okukhona.
3. Abanye abantu balahlekelwa yinhlonipho ngomuntu oxolisa.
Uma ngikhuluma iqiniso, kuyacasula ukulalela umuntu ehlala exolisa ngento engekho.
Kungenza ukusabela kokucasuka, ukunengeka, noma ukwedelela ngoba umuntu oxolayo uza njengentekenteke noma ebuthakathaka.
Abantu babheka ukuxolisa ngokweqile cishe njengoba bebheka ukuzethemba ngokweqile. Kuyacasula, akusikho okwangempela, futhi bangase bangazizwa sengathi bangamethemba umuntu ukuthi ungagunci futhi uthembeke.
4. Kungakhulisa umbono wokungakwazi ukusebenza.
Abantu ababheki ngokujulile kulabo ababazungezile. Umuntu oxolisa kakhulu angabonakala njengongafaneleki, ngoba kungani bezoxolisa kaningi uma bengahlali bedidizela izinto?
Lowo ngumbono ongaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu empilweni yomuntu siqu neyomsebenzi.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Ungaxolisa Kanjani Ngokuzithoba nangokufanele
- Ungakwamukela Kanjani Ukuxolisa Futhi Uphendule Kumuntu Oxolayo
- Ungathethelela Kanjani Umuntu: Amamodeli we-2 Asekelwe Kwisayensi Wokuthethelelwa
Amathiphu ama-4 Wokuyeka Ukuxolisa Kakhulu
Ukushintsha umkhuba wokuxolisa kakhulu kuza ekutheni kungani umuntu exolisa ngokweqile kwasekuqaleni.
Uma kuqhamuka endaweni yokukhathazeka okupholisayo noma ukulimala okungapholi kusuka kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, lowo muntu angadinga ukuvakashela uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo oqinisekisiwe ukuze asebenze ngezinkinga ezibangela lokho.
Ukushintsha nje isimilo esihambisana nokulimala ngeke kuphulukise ukulimala okukhona, okungadala ukuthi lawo maphethini aphinde abonakale emuva kwesikhathi.
Ukushintsha umkhuba kungadinga ukwelashwa ukubhekana nezinkinga eziwubangelayo.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, singasebenza kanjani ekushintsheni umkhuba?
1. Khumbula izikhathi lapho uthi, 'Ngiyaxolisa.'
Hlola ukuthi empeleni uxolisa nini. Zibuze, “Ngabe bekukhona isizathu sokuthi ngixolise? Ngabe yimi engibe nesandla kulokhu ebengixolisa ngakho? ”
Uhlome ngalolo lwazi, manje usungakwazi ukukhumbula izikhathi zesikhathi esizayo ezinjengalezo ezizofika nakanjani.
2. Athule futhi cabanga ngaphambi kokuba ukhulume .
Zama ukungaxolisi lapho uzithola usesikhathini lapho ubujwayele ukwenza khona.
Thula ucabange ukuthi yini le ozama ukuyidlulisa, ukuthi ngabe unesibopho noma cha, nokuthi inkinga ibaluleke kangakanani nokuthi udinga ukuxolisa noma cha.
Yima uzindle ngesimo nokuthi ngabe udale inkinga noma cha noma cha noma cha ukuthi uxolise.
3. Cabanga ngalokho empeleni ozama ukukuxhumana.
Amagama athi, 'ngiyaxolisa' imvamisa ayindawo yemicabango nemizwa eyinkimbinkimbi.
Cabanga ukuthi la magama amabili akhombisa ngokunembile yini ofuna ukukusho komunye umuntu.
Ngabe ikhona eminye imicabango noma imizwa empeleni ezama ukuza obala?
Uma kukhona, manje yisikhathi sokuveza leyo mizwa esikhundleni sokuxolisa.
Ukwenza kanjalo kuzosiza ekwakheni ukuzethemba kwakho, ukuzethemba, nokwakha inhlonipho nontanga yakho.
ungayeka kanjani ukulawulwa ebudlelwaneni
4. Phinda uze ube umkhuba.
Izinyathelo ezintathu ezincane!? Akunakuba lula kangako!
Uqinisile.
Akunjalo.
Ukushintsha umkhuba inqubo elula, kepha hhayi elula.
Kudinga ukuphazamisa umkhuba wangaphambilini bese ubeka lowo mkhuba ngokuziphatha okwehlukile, futhi ukwenze kaninginingi kuze kube kuba yinto ezenzekelayo.
Konke kumayelana nokuthi yiziphi izenzo ozenzayo futhi uzimisele ukuzibophezela ekuziqeqesheni kuze kube yilapho ziba yimvelo yesibili.
Kuyisibopho, ngoba kuthatha cishe izinyanga ezimbili ukuya yakha umkhuba omusha .
Ongakusho Kunokuthi 'Ngiyaxolisa'
Ukuthuthukisa ukucabanga kwakho lapho uthi 'ngiyaxolisa' kuyasiza, kepha ukukhetha ukuthi yimaphi amagama ozowafaka esikhundleni sawo, uma akhona, nakho kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuguqula umkhuba.
Yimaphi amagama owakhethayo azokwehlela kuzimo ozithola ukuso kanye nokufaneleka kwazo.
Ungaxolisi ngokukhona. Faka esikhundleni esithi 'ngiyaxolisa' ngezitatimende ezinjengokuxolisa, emva kwakho, qhubeka, ungivumele ngisuke endleleni yakho.
Noma vele usuke endleleni ngaphandle kokusho noma yini. Akuyona into ongayenza noma okufanele uxolise ngayo.
Sebenzisa ukubonga nezinye izindlela zokubonga njengendlela yokushintsha umbono wengxoxo.
Esikhundleni se, 'Ngiyaxolisa ukuthatha isikhathi sakho.' sebenzisa, “Ngiyabonga ngesikhathi sakho.”
Esikhundleni se, 'Ngiyaxolisa ngalelo phutha.' sebenzisa, “Ngiyabonga ukuthi uthole lelo phutha.”
Esikhundleni se, 'Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi ngishiyile.' sebenzisa, “Ngiyabonga ngokungibekezelela kwakho nokungilinda!”
Ukuxhamazela okuthi “Ngiyaxolisa” kuyinselele enkulu, ngoba awufuni ukuyifaka esikhundleni nganoma yini.
Kunabanye abantu abavele bakusho njengokuyindida futhi badinga nje ukusebenzela ukungakusho kaningi noma ngezikhathi ezingafanele.
Ungaxolisi ngezinto ezingezona isibopho sakho noma ongaxolisanga zona. Lowo mngcele ubalulekile osiza ukuhlukanisa abantu abahloniphayo nabangahloniphi.
Abantu abahloniphayo bazoqonda futhi bazimisele ukwamukela lowo mngcele, njengengxenye ebalulekile yempilo yakho engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo.
Imithombo
https://www.livescience.com/8698-study-reveals-women-apologize.html
https://www.jstor.org/stable/41062429?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/after-abuse/you-can-stop-apologizing-now
https://www.spring.org.uk/2009/09/how-long-to-form-a-habit.php
