Ukwesaba ukusondelana kuphazamisa ikhono elibalulekile lokwakha ubudlelwano obuseduze nobungane nabanye abantu.
Ukusondelana kuyisenzo sokwabelana ngokubekeka engcupheni nokuvala ubudlelwano ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo nomunye umuntu.
isayina umfana ukuthi akangene kuwe
Abantu abahlangabezana nalokhu kwesaba bavame ukonakalisa ubudlelwano babo noma bacindezele abantu kude ngaphambi kokuba basondele kakhulu.
Balangazelela ukusondelana, kepha banenkinga enzima ukuyithola nokuyigcina lapho lobo budlelwane buqala ukuthinta izinkathazo zabo.
Ukubhekana nokunqoba ukwesaba ukusondelana kuyinselele enzima, kepha efinyelelekayo ngokuzithuthukisa okugxile futhi ngokwelulekwa okuthile.
Kuyini Ukusondelana?
Ukuqonda kangcono ukuthi ukwesaba ukusondelana kubukeka kanjani, udinga ukuqonda ukuthi ukusondelana kungaba nzima kanjani.
Kunezinhlobo ezine zobudlelwano obuseduze.
1. Ubuhlakani
Ukubopha kwenziwa ngezingxoxo ezijulile, zomuntu siqu kanye nokushintshana ngemibono.
Ukwabelana ngeqiniso ngemibono yakho emsulwa, emsulwa nomunye umuntu kudinga isibindi nokuzimisela ukubhekana nokwahlulela kokubuka nezinkolelo zakho zomhlaba.
Lokho akuyona into esivame ukuyinika umuntu ongahleliwe. Imvamisa, lowo muntu umuntu osondelene naye, esifuna ukusondelana naye, noma ohlonipha ngokwanele ukuba naleyo ngxoxo.
2. Imizwelo
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo yilokho abantu abavame ukukucabanga lapho becabanga ngokusondelana.
Kuba nokuxhumana okusondele, okungokomzwelo nomunye umuntu lapho uvumela khona ukuba sengozini kubo.
Lokhu kufaka phakathi abantu abazizwa benokuxhumana okungokomoya nabanye abantu.
3. Okuhlangenwe nakho
Abantu bangazibophezela ngemisebenzi eyabiwe, izintshisekelo, noma okuhlangenwe nakho.
Lokhu kungafaka into efana neqembu lokusekelwa, lapho ababekhona kungabantu bonke abanokugula noma okwabiwe okwabiwe.
Kungaba nokuhlangenwe nakho okungathathi hlangothi, njengokuzizwa usondelene nabanye abantu kwiklabhu yokuzilibazisa lapho abantu babelana ngothando.
4. Ezocansi
Ezocansi ziyazichaza. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kungenye indlela ejwayelekile yokuthi abantu bacabange ngokusondelana.
Ngalokho-ke, ukusondelana nomunye umuntu noma abantu kungaba sengozini kubo, noma ngabe akukho esimweni sobudlelwano bomuntu ngokujulile.
Izinhlobo Ezihlukile Zokwesaba Ukusondelana
Izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokwesaba zehlela ekwesabeni ukulahleka.
kwenzekeni kujim ross
Ukwesaba ukulahlwa uvame ukubangelwa ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa abanye, ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani wabo.
Imvamisa kubangelwa ukulahlekelwa ngumuntu omdala obalulekile ebuntwaneni babo. Ukulahlwa ababhekana nakho besengumntwana kungaba ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo.
Ukulahlwa ngokomzimba kulapho isibalo sabazali singasekho ngokomzimba empilweni yengane.
Ukulahlwa ngokomzwelo kulapho umuntu omdala engakwazi noma engeke anikeze uhlobo lokuxhaswa ngokomzwelo ingane elikudingayo ekukhuleni kwayo. Lokho kungenzeka ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, noma ukugula kwengqondo.
Ukwesaba ukumbozwa ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa wedwa ebuhlotsheni .
Umuntu kungenzeka angaboni ukuthi uvunyelwe ukuba nemingcele noma acabange ukuthi badinga ukunikela ngezingxenye zabo ezinkulu, bashintshe impilo yabo kakhulu, noma bashintshe ukuthi bangobani ebudlelwaneni.
Azikho kulezi zinto eziyiqiniso ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Yebo, indlela oqhuba ngayo impilo iyashintsha, kodwa akudingeki ishintshe ngokuphelele.
Ukwesaba ukusondelana nakho kungabonakala kubantu abanesifo sokukhathazeka komphakathi noma i-phobia yomphakathi.
Abantu abahlangabezana nalezi zinkinga zenhlalo kunzima ukubhekana nokwahlulelwa nokuhlolwa, okwenza kube nzima ngabo ukwakha ubungani obujulile, ubudlelwano, noma ukuxhumana okusondele.
Ukwahlulela nokuhlola kuyizinto ezibalulekile zokwakha ubungani, ngoba leyo yindlela esikhetha ngayo ukuthi ngubani esifuna ukunikela ngesikhathi sethu nokunaka kwethu.
Abanye abantu bangakufihla ukwesaba kwabo ukusondelana ngemuva kokusebenzisa imithombo yezokuxhumana, lapho bangabonakala banamakhulu 'abangane' ngaphandle kokuxhumana okujulile noma komuntu nanoma ngubani.
Bangaba nabangane abaningi abangabhekiwe lapho kukhona okulindelwe okuphansi kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuzibophezela noma ukusebenza ngokomzwelo.
Izici Zengozi Yokuthuthukisa Ukwesaba Ukusondelana
Izici eziningi zobungozi zibuyela ebuntwaneni ngezibalo zabazali ezingathembekile eziholela ekunciphiseni nasezindabeni zokubopha njengomuntu omdala. Lezi zici zobungozi zingabandakanya:
- Unganaki. Kokubili ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo.
- Ukuhlukumeza. Ezocansi, ngokomzimba, ngamazwi, noma ngokomzwelo.
- Ukulahlekelwa ngumzali. Isehlukaniso, ukufa, noma ijele.
kungani amadoda ehoxa uma esondela kakhulu
- Ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa. Ukuphuza ngokweqile noma ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa.
- Ukugula. Ukugula lapho umzali engakwazi ukunikeza ukwesekwa okufanele komzali enganeni, noma ukuphoqelela ingane endimeni yokunakekela ezinye izingane.
- Imindeni efakiwe. Umndeni obunjiwe uhlobo lomndeni lapho imingcele ifiphele khona.
Imvamisa kwenzeka phakathi komzali nengane lapho umzali engabeki imingcele efanelekile.
Bangenza izinto ezinjengokuthi dote enganeni ethile ngokuhlukumeza okusele, ukuba ngumngane omkhulu wengane, ukufihla izimfihlo enganeni, nokubandakanyeka ngokweqile empumelelweni nasekwenzeni kwengane.
Imindeni efakiwe ivame ukubonakala inothando futhi iyasekela, kepha ijwayele ukuba nezinkinga ezinkulu ngokubeka imingcele, ukuphoqelelwa kwemingcele, ukuzimela nokusondelana.
- Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu. Okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukumezayo, ikakhulukazi ngezibalo zeziphathimandla, kungalolonga ikhono lomuntu lokuthembela nokuxhumana nabanye ngaphakathi nangaphandle komndeni.
- Okuhlangenwe nakho kobudlelwano obubi. Ubudlelwano umuntu anabo empilweni yakhe yonke bungakhuthaza futhi buqinise ukwesaba ukusondelana.
- Ukungezwani Komuntu Okugwema. Ukuphazamiseka Komuntu Okugwema Kuyaziwa nangokuthi ukusondelana kokukhathazeka futhi kusolakala ukuthi kungathinta endaweni ethile esifundeni se-1.5% - 2.5% yabantu .
Abantu abane-Disorder Personality Disorder bavame ukugwema izimo zenhlalo ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlazeka, ukwahlulelwa, kanye nokuzwela ngokweqile ekugxekweni. Bangaba namahloni, babe namahloni, futhi bazenyeze.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Okufanele Ukwenze Ngobudlelwano Obungenabo Ubudlelwano Nokuxhuma
- Izindlela Ezi-7 Zokukhombisa Ngokuphepha Ukuba Sengozini Kwezemizwa Ebudlelwaneni
- I-Push-Pull Relationship Cycle Nokuthi Ungayibalekela Kanjani Le Dynamic
- Izinyathelo Ezingu-17 Zokunciphiswa Futhi Unesidingo Ebudlelwaneni
Izimpawu Zokwesaba Ukusondelana
Ukwesaba ukusondelana kungabukeka kwehlukile kuye ngohlobo lobudlelwano.
Imvamisa, ukwesaba kungabonakala njengokuziphatha okuphambene nalokho umuntu azama ukukufeza.
Umuntu ofuna ukwakha ubudlelwano bothando angalimaza ngenhloso intuthuko yakhe yokwakha lobo budlelwano ngokuxhamazela ngezinto, ukunamathela kakhulu, ukungaphenduli imibhalo noma izingcingo, noma ukuhlola imizwa yomunye umuntu ebudlelwaneni.
umyeni wami uyoke ashiye omunye umfazi
Ukuziphatha kufaka:
1. Ukuqomisana kweSiriyeli
Umuntu onesaba ukusondelana angahle asebenze ezingeni eliphezulu lobudlelwano.
Bangase bajabulele ngisho nokwazi esinye isigaba lapho bobabili abalingani bengakakhombisi izingxenye ezijule kakhulu ukuthi bangobani.
Bayakugwema ukuxhumana ezingeni elisondelene nabantu abathandana nabo futhi bibhampa kusuka kumuntu nomuntu ngoba kuphakathi kwendawo yabo yokunethezeka. Bangaba nobudlelwano obuningi besikhashana, obungaphezulu.
Kungabonakala ngathi banefayela le- ukwesaba ukuzibophezela ebusweni, kepha empeleni wukwesaba ukusondelana okubavimbela ukuthi bazibophezele.
2. Ukubulala Ubudlelwano
Ukucekela phansi ubuhlobo kungaba ngezindlela eziningi. Kungaba yinoma yini kusuka ukuhalalisela ngezikhathi ezahlukahlukene zokugxeka ngokweqile nokulwa nomlingani wabo.
Umuntu angenza ngokuqhubekayo asolisayo futhi avame ukusola umlingani wakhe ngokwenza izinto angazenzanga.
Bangase futhi bazame ukuzenza babonakale bengathandeki ngokwenza ngobudlova noma ngesihluku ukuzama ukuphoqa omunye umuntu ukuba abashiye ukuze bakwazi ukuzikholisa ukuthi abathandeki futhi abafanelekile.
3. Ukuthintana ngokoqobo
Umuntu osaba ukusondelana angeke akugweme ukuthintana ngokomzimba, noma lokho kungenzeka.
Bangase futhi balwele ukuthintana kakhulu ngokomzimba, badinga ukuthintwa noma ngaphakathi kwesikhala somlingani wabo.
4. Ukufuna ukuphelela
Ukufuna ukuphelela kungaba yindlela yokukhokha ngokweqile kumuntu ozwa ukuthi akalufanele uthando, ukwesekwa nokuhlonishwa.
Bangasebenza ngokweqile noma bagcine ikhaya elimsulwa ukukhombisa ukuthi bayakufanelekela.
Inkinga ukuthi ukufuna ukuphelela kungena endleleni yokuphila. Futhi bambalwa kakhulu abantu abangaphila ngokuvumelana nezindinganiso ezilindelwe ngabalindele ukuphelela, ngakho-ke ngokungazi baxoshe abanye abantu.
5. Ubunzima bokuxhumana
Umuntu ozizwa engafaneleki angahle angakhulumi izidingo zakhe kumlingani wakhe, ngakho-ke izidingo zabo ziqala ukungagcwaliseki.
Azikhulumi ngezidingo zazo ngoba azifuni ukudala ukuphazamiseka futhi zingadala ukuthi umlingani wazo azishiye.
Lokho kubangela intukuthelo nengxabano ekhulayo ngoba izidingo zomlingani oyedwa azifezekiswa.
Umuntu osaba ukusondelana uyamcasula umlingani wakhe, azitshele ukuthi kufanele angalufanele uthando nokusekelwa uma umlingani wakhe engazami ukuhlangabezana nalezi zidingo, noma engamenzisanga umlingani wakhe izidingo ezinjalo.
Lokho kungaholela ekuhlukaneni uma kungabhekwana nakho.
Kuthiwani Uma Ozakwethu Enokwesaba Ukusondelana?
Gxila ekwakheni nasekondleni imigqa yokuxhumana nomlingani wakho.
Babuze ukuthi yini ezobenza bazizwe bethandwa futhi bephephile.
Buza ukuthi yini ezobasiza bazizwe bekhululekile ebudlelwaneni.
Futhi bakhuthaze ukuthi bafune usizo kochwepheshe.
Ukwesaba ukusondelana kaningi kuvela endaweni eluhlaza, entekenteke edinga ukuzulazulwa ngokucophelela.
Inqubo yokunqoba ukwesaba ukusondelana inzima futhi kungenzeka kube nezingqinamba. Ukubekezela nomusa kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokusekela othandekayo ngokululama kwabo.
Bazokwenza amaphutha futhi kwesinye isikhathi bangahamba isikhathi eside ngaphandle kokuthuthuka. Ingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yaleyo mpumelelo ukuthi bahlala bezama futhi bayisebenzele.
Ukunqoba Ukwesaba Ukusondelana
Ukuxilongwa nokwelashwa kokwesaba ukusondelana kuzoncika ekutheni kubi kangakanani nokuthi kungani uhlangabezana nalolo kwesaba.
kuphi lapho unesithukuthezi
Njengoba lokhu kwesaba kuvame ukuvela kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu nokubuhlungu,kungcono ukubonisana nodokotela oqinisekisiwe wezempilo yengqondo ngokuthi ungasebenza kanjani futhi unqobe ukwesaba.
Ukubhekana nokuthi kungani - imbangela yokwesaba kwakho ukusondelana - kubalulekile ekwelapheni nasekululameni enkingeni. Uma ungasilungisi isisekelo, khona-ke sonke isakhiwo osakha ngaphezulu ngeke sizwakale.
Ungaqhubeka nokuba nezinkinga ezingeziwe ngokusondelana ongacabanga ukuthi zingaxazululwa, kepha akunjalo, ngoba leso sisekelo asikaqinile okwamanje.
Ngakho-ke khuluma nomeluleki oqinisekisiwe wezempilo yengqondo ngakho uma ulwa nokusondelana. Zikulungele kangcono ukukusiza uthole umsuka wenkinga futhi uyilungise.
