Abantu bathuthukisa izingqinamba zokwethembana ngezizathu eziningi.
Kungase kuqale ebuntwaneni, lapho bakhulela khona ekhaya lapho babengathembi khona abazali babo noma ezinye iziphathimandla.
Kungenzeka lapho esekhulile, lapho lowo muntu eyisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya noma ezinye izimo ezihlukumezayo ezishiye isithombe esihlala njalo kuye.
Ukujola nomuntu onenkinga yokwethembana kuyinselele ngoba angaba nokuphendula okungalindelekile ngokomzwelo ezimweni ezinobungozi. Okungabonakali kuyinkinga kuwe kungaba yinkinga enkulu kubo ngoba kuthinta ukulimala kwabo kwangaphambilini.
Lokho-ke kubenza bathukuthele noma basole ngezenzo zakho ebudlelwaneni obukhona.
Kuzofanele ufunde ukuthi ungazulazula kanjani kulezi zimo uma ufuna lobu budlelwano buphumelele. Ake sibheke amanye amathiphu wokuthi ungaphumelela kanjani ukuphola nomuntu onenkinga yokwethemba.
1. Uzodinga ukubekezela.
Abantu abake balinyazwa esikhathini esedlule bayoba nesikhathi esinzima ukuvula nokuthembela esikhathini esizayo.
Luhlobo nje lwendlela olusebenzayo. Uthinta isitofu bese ushiswa uzoxwaya ngokuthinta leso sitofu futhi, akunjalo?
Okufanayo kunjalo nasebudlelwaneni bezothando. Sitshala kakhulu thina, isikhathi sethu, amandla ethu, nezimpilo zethu ebudlelwaneni obungalimaza ngokujulile lapho izinto zihamba kabi.
Futhi hhayi nje, 'O, awu, asisebenzanga.' Kungcono kakhulu kumongo wokusinda ekuhlukunyezweni, ukuthanda umuntu obasebenzisile, noma ukubhekana nokuwa kokukopela.
Uzodinga ukuba nesineke kulowo muntu ngoba kungenzeka asho futhi enze izinto ngokuzivikela okungenzeka ukuthi akulona lolo hlobo.
Bazodinga isikhathi sokubona ukuthi uzimisele ngobudlelwano futhi bazivumele ukuthi bavule kancane.
2. Uzodinga ukuqonda ukuthi awukwazi ukulungisa okwedlule.
Baningi kakhulu abantu emhlabeni abangaqapheli ukuthi uthando nobudlelwano empeleni abudlali njengama-movie…
Konke okudingayo uthando! Uthando lunqoba konke! Lolu thando lumsulwa impela ngokuqinisekile bazogqugquzelwa ukuthi babe ngcono!
ungazi kanjani ukuthi umuhle noma cha
Lokho akusikho ukuthi kusebenza kanjani. Uma kwenzeka, bekungeke kube nenqwaba yabantu abakhalela abathandekayo abalahlekile njengamanje.
Iqiniso lendaba ukuthi umuntu onezinkinga zokuthembana unezinkinga ngesizathu. Futhi uma bengabasindile bezinto ezithile ezimbi empilweni yabo, uthando ngeke lulungise umonakalo obangelwa yilezo zimo. Yilokho ukwelashwa nezinqubo ezahlukahlukene zokuzithuthukisa ezenzelwe zona.
Lokho akusho ukuthi balahlekelwe ubudlelwano obubi noma impilo engajabulisi. Lutho neze.
Ukuthi nje wonke umuntu obambe iqhaza ebudlelwaneni kudingeka aqonde ukuthi kuthatha okungaphezulu kothando lomunye umuntu ukulungisa lawo manxeba. Kuthatha umzamo womuntu siqu, mhlawumbe ngosizo lochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo.
3. Kuzodingeka ufunde ukungathathi izinto uqobo.
Kuzoba khona ukuqhuma nezimpikiswano ezingeke zenze mqondo kuwe. Ungasolwa kahle ngezinto ongazenzanga, ubuzwe ubuqotho bakho nobuqotho bakho, futhi ushiye ubambe ongezansi kokunye ukucabanga komqondo ozohlangabezana nakho.
Kufanele ufunde ukungazithathi lezi zinto uqobo. Umuntu onezinkinga zokuthembela othukuthele ngokuncane okubonakalayo akenzi ngobubi obubhekiswe kuwe. Baphendula ekuvuseleleni okungokomzwelo kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kwangaphambilini.
Ungakuhumushi njengokuhlasela komuntu ubuqotho bakho. Ngaphandle kwalokho, isimo sizokhula ngokushesha sibe yingxabano engayi ndawo.
Into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukucacisa isimo ngokubuza imibuzo, ubakhuthaze ukuthi bakhulume ngalokho abakuzwayo, futhi bachaze uhlangothi lwakho ngokucace ngangokunokwenzeka.
Uma bengumuntu ocabangelayo, ekugcineni bazokwazi ukubona iqiniso, noma ngabe bacwila olakeni lwabo okwamanje.
4. Khombisa ukwethembeka ngokulandela.
Indlela enhle yokukhombisa ukwethembeka ukulandela izenzo nezinqumo zakho.
Uma uthi uzoshaya ngo-5 ntambama, bese ufona ngo-5 ntambama. Uma uvuma ukuhlangabeza iziphuzo ngoMgqibelo, qiniseka ukuthi ulapho ukuhlangabezana neziphuzo ngoMgqibelo.
Phatha izwi lakho njengesibopho, ngoba kunjalo. Noma yini othi uzoyenza, yenze.
Leyo rekhodi lokwenza lokho othi uzokwenza futhi unamathele kuzitatimende zakho kuyinto ebonakalayo umuntu onenkinga yokwethenjwa angabambelela kuyo.
Ukwesaba noma ukukhathazeka kwabo kungabatshela ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle noma kuzohamba kabi. Noma kunjalo, bayazi ukuthi bangathembela kuwe ngoba ubonise njalo ukuthi uthembekile futhi uthembekile.
Vele, izinto ziyenzeka. Kwesinye isikhathi asinakho okunye esingakwenza ngaphandle kokuphula izinhlelo zethu ngoba kuqhamuke umsebenzi noma umzanyana wakhanselwa ngomzuzu wokugcina. Impilo iyenzeka.
Odinga ukukwenza nje ukuthatha ifoni, ubashayele, futhi ubazise ukuthi kwenzekani. Ungabashiyi belenga noma bezibuza ukuthi wenzani. Lokho kuzolulaza yonke imizamo yakho yokwakha ukwethembana.
kungani edonsa ngokuzuma nje
5. Balindele ukuthi badinge ukuqinisekiswa njalo ekuqaleni.
Akuyona into engavamile ngabantu abanezinkinga zokuthembana ukuthi badinga ukuqinisekiswa okuningi lapho beqala ukuzibandakanya ebudlelwaneni.
Babheke ukushelela phezu kokwesaba nokukhathazeka okusalokhu kubadonsela kokuhlangenwe nakho okwedlule okudale lokho kungakhululeki.
Ungamangali uma umuntu othandana naye ebheka leyo nduduzo kuwe.
Ngokuvamile, lolo hlobo lwento luzoncipha njengoba isikhathi esiningi sidlula futhi bekhululeka ebudlelwaneni. Ingase ivele ngezikhathi ezithile, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi ngeke ishubile njengoba injalo ekuqaleni.
Lolu hlobo lokuqinisekisa lungabonakala luhlukile kunalokho ongakulindela. Kungafika ngesimo sezingxoxo ezihlaziya ngokweqile, ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa ukuthola umongo lapho kungekho khona, noma ukubuza ngayo yonke imininingwane yosuku lwakho.
Futhi, uzodinga ukubekezela ukuze usebenze ngalezi zinto nomuntu.
6. Lindela ukuthi ubudlelwano bukhule kancane.
Izinkinga zeTrust azivele zivele nje. Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, imvamisa ingumphumela wezimo ezibuhlungu empilweni, njengokusinda ekuhlukunyezweni kwengane, ukuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya, noma ukungathembeki.
Umuntu onezinkinga zokuthembana unalezo zithiyo ukuze azigcine ekulimaleni ngaleyo ndlela futhi.
Lokho kungathatha uhlobo lokufuna okungajwayelekile, akukho zintambo ezinamathiselwe, ngisho nabangane abanezinhlobo zohlobo lobudlelwano nabanye.
Ngokuhlala ugxile ezicini ezingokomzimba zobudlelwano, akudingeki ukuthi bazenze babe sengozini ngokuzivulela amathuba okuzwa ubuhlungu obungaqhamuka nomlingani okhohlisayo.
Kodwa-ke, lapho lowo muntu ethatha isinqumo sokungena ebudlelwaneni bokuzibophezela, kungathatha isikhathi eside kunabantu abangenazo izingqinamba zokwethembana ukuthi bafuna ukweqa imingcele ethile.
Bangaba nesikhathi esinzima ukudalula izingxenye zabo ezijulile nezizwela kakhulu. Bangase bangakwazi ukukutshela ukuthi bayakuthanda kuze kube isikhathi eside kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Bangase baphinde bazibophezele ekuzibophezeleni kobudlelwano obukhulu nezinyathelo ezinkulu, njengokuhlangana nabazali, ukuhlala ndawonye, noma ukuhlela ngokujulile kakhulu ngekusasa.
Akusho ukuthi ngeke bazenze lezo zinto. Kungabathathela isikhathi esengeziwe ukufika lapho.
7. Yazi imingcele nemingcele yakho.
Kwesinye isikhathi abantu abanezinkinga zokuthembana bawela imigqa okungafanele yeqe ebudlelwaneni. Kukhona nje ezinye izinto ezingalungile ezingaphansi kokuthembela nokuningi ngokulawula.
Akupholile ukufuna ukufinyelela okugcwele kufoni yakho, ulandelele ukuthi ukuphi ngohlelo lokusebenza, funa i-rundown yokuthi ukuphi nokuthi ubuhlale nobani.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwesinye isikhathi ezinye zalezo zinto zinengqondo. Kuhle, ningabangane ne-ex yakho, kepha akulungile kancane ukuhlala ubusuku bonke endlini yabo nganoma yisiphi isizathu. Leso yisimo esihle okufanele usisolise.
Abanye abantu basebenzisa izingqinamba zabo zokwethembana njengesizathu sokusebenzisa ukulawula ophathina babo, okungenampilo noma okuhle. Kungenzeka kungabi yinto enobungozi, basabela nje ekwesabeni kwabo nasekukhathazekeni kwabo, kepha lokho akukwenzi kulunge.
Kungenzeka nje ukuthi abanasikhathi esanele noma benze umsebenzi owenele ukupholisa amanxeba abo ukuzama ukuba nobudlelwano obuseduze nanoma ngubani okwamanje. Kulungile futhi lokho.
Kuleso simo sesimo, uzofuna ukucaciseleka ngemingcele nemingcele yakho, ukuthi yini ozimisele ukuxolela hhayi.
Mhlawumbe babheka ifoni yakho ngomzuzu wobuthakathaka, bazizwa kabi ngakho, futhi bavuma ukuthi kwephule ubumfihlo bakho. Lokho kuxoleleka kakhulu kunokuchitha izinyanga ubuthongo bese uyakuthukuthelela uma unenkinga nakho.
Uma uzithola ukulesi simo, kungaba umqondo omuhle ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano. Lowo muntu wesithathu ongathathi hlangothi, onolwazi uzokwazi ukukusiza ukuthi usethe imingcele yakho futhi aqonde ukuthi uzwelana nezinkinga zomlingani wakho noma uma bekuhlukumeza. Kungaba ulayini omuhle impela, kwesinye isikhathi.
Ngosizo nezeluleko zalolu hlobo, sincoma insizakalo eku-inthanethi ye-Relationship Hero. Ungakhuluma ngasese nesazi sobudlelwano ukuze uphathe kangcono izingqinamba ezibucayi nezinkinga ezingavela ngokuthandana nomuntu onenkinga yokwethembana. ukuxoxa nothile noma ukuhlela iseshini yosuku oluthile.
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