Ungakanani ukulawula onakho ngempilo yakho, futhi kulawulwa kangakanani ngamanye amandla?
Umbuzo othakazelisayo ongenayo impendulo eqondile. Ngenkathi imibono ikhona maqondana nokuzikhethela kwethu nenkululeko yokuzikhethela (noma ukuntuleka kwayo), impikiswano ayikalungiswa.
Okubaluleke kakhulu kumongo wale ndatshana uwabheka kanjani amandla akho okulawula imiphumela yempilo yakho. Kuvela ukuthi, lo mbono ophethwe ngamunye uthinta indlela esicabanga ngayo futhi esiziphatha ngayo ngaphezu kwalokho esingakucabanga.
Igama elithi izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo lisebenzisa ukuchaza lo mbono ngelakho indawo yokulawula . Igama elithi 'locus' lisho isikhundla noma indawo, futhi maqondana nokulawulwa, lingachazwa njengelangaphakathi noma langaphandle.
Indawo yangaphakathi yokulawula isho ukuthi ubeka amandla - nomthwalo wemfanelo - ngokuqinile ezandleni zakho. Indawo yangaphandle yokulawula iphambene, ngamandla kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo wamandla angaphandle.
Nazi izibonelo ezimbalwa ukukusiza uqonde:
Isibonelo 1:UBrian uwina ukunyuselwa emsebenzini.
Uma uBrian enendawo yangaphakathi yokulawula, kungenzeka ukuthi uveza lo mphumela ekusebenzeni kwakhe kanzima, ukusebenza kahle, nobuntu obuthandayo.
Uma uBrian enendawo engaphandle yokulawula, kungenzeka abeke lo mphumela enhlanhleni, isikhathi esihle, nokuntuleka kwabanye abantu.
Isibonelo 2:USusan uhluleka ukuhlolwa kwakhe kokushayela.
Uma uSusan enendawo yokuphatha yangaphakathi, kungenzeka ukuthi athi lo mphumela ubangelwa ukungakwazi kwakhe ukusebenza kahle, izinzwa zakhe, nesikhathi sakhe esivivinywayo.
Uma uSusan enendawo engaphandle yokulawula, kungenzeka abeke lo mphumela esimweni sezulu esibi, abanye abashayeli abanganaki emgwaqweni ngaleso sikhathi, kanye nomhloli onosuku olubi.
Ngakho-ke Yikuphi Okungcono?
Akunampendulo eyodwa kulo mbuzo. Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi indawo yakho yokulawula ayikho noma kwangaphakathi noma ngaphandle iwela ebangeni phakathi kwalokhu okubili.
Ungahle uncike kakhulu kusikhundla sangaphakathi, kodwa lokhu akukuvimbeli ekukholweni ezinye izinto ezingaphandle kolawulo lwakho. Ngokufanayo, ungahlala phambili ngasekupheleni kwesikali, kepha usengakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi izinto ezithile kungumthwalo wakho kanjani.
Ngaphezu, bobabili banobuhle nobubi babo…
Umuntu one- kwangaphakathi Indawo yokulawula ingaqhutshwa kakhulu futhi ikhuthazwe ukusebenza kanzima futhi izuze impumelelo ngoba bakholelwa ukuthi banamandla okuthinta ushintsho oluhle ezimpilweni zabo.
Banamathuba amaningi okuthi basebenze kuzo zonke izingxenye zempilo, kufaka phakathi ubudlelwano, lapho, ngokwesibonelo, kungaba yibo abenza isenzo sokuqala sokubuyisana lapho kwenzeke ukungaboni ngaso linye.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abangahle futhi basheshe bazisole lapho izinto zingahlelanga. Bangazigxeka ngokweqile futhi bazishaye ngokwehluleka kwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma amathuba okuthuthuka noma wokuzuza engazivezi, bangadumala futhi bakholelwe ukuthi bachitha amandla abo.
Umuntu one- kwangaphandle Indawo yokulawula ingabhekana kangcono nokwehluleka (okungenani esikhathini esiseduze) ngoba bangakwazi ukudlulisa isibopho kwezinye izinto futhi baphambukise ukugxekwa kokusebenza kwabo. Futhi lapho kwenzeka okuthile okubi, bangashesha ukukwamukela bese beqhubeka ngoba abakholwa ukuthi bebengaba nomthelela emphumeleni: kwenzeke uku bona, hhayi ngoba wabo.
yimifudlana ye-garth kanye ne-trisha yearwood isashadile
Lapho besebenza eqenjini, bangahle babe nethuba lokuncoma umsebenzi owenziwe kahle njengoba belazisa ithonya labadlali bangaphandle kakhulu kunababo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuthambekela kwabo ku- sola izinto ezingaphandle kungaphazamisa nobudlelwano babo (ukusebenza, ukuthandana, noma okunye) ngoba bazobeka umthwalo wemfanelo kunoma ngubani omunye ngaphandle kwabo. Izinkinga, emqondweni wazo, zizodalwa yi- okunye umuntu, futhi akunakwenzeka ukuthi bandise igatsha lomnqumo ngoba bezwa ukuthi yibo aboniwe.
Labo abathembele kakhulu ekugcineni kwangaphandle kungenzeka ukuthi banikele ngokushesha emsebenzini futhi bazizwe bengakwazi ukululama ezimweni ezingamukeleki ezibahlelelayo. Bazizwa banqunyelwe ukudalelwa kunokuba bakwazi ukuthuthukisa izimo zabo.
Ayikho indlela elungile nengalungile, kepha ucwaningo kulo mkhakha kuze kube manje lukhombisa ukuthi labo abanendawo engaphezulu yokulawula bathambekele ekucindezelekeni, babhekane kangcono nengcindezi, futhi baneliseke ngokwengeziwe emisebenzini yabo.
Ukuthola Ukulinganisela Kwakho
Ngokwezinga elithile, indawo yakho yokulawula yinto ongayilungisa ngokuya ngesimo. Kuthatha umzamo oqinile ukubusa ekuphenduleni kwakho kwemvelo, kepha uma ukwazi ukucabanga okunengqondo ngezimo zakho, ungazibona ngokucacile futhi uthole ukuthi yiliphi ithonya, uma likhona, unayo kwadingeka noma kungenzeka kwadingeka.
Ukukhomba nokwamukela izimbangela zezehlakalo kuyinjongo yokuqala yokulinganisela indawo yakho yokulawula. Esikhundleni sokulalela imicabango yakho yokuqala, yima isikhashana bese ucabanga ngeqiniso langempela. Ingabe isazela sakho sikhombisa uchungechunge lwezehlakalo uqobo? Noma uhlanekezela izinto ukuze zilingane nendaba ozixoxela yona?
Le nqubo ingazizwa ingeyona eyemvelo. Uyazibuza - kanye namathumbu akho - ngokuphonsela inselelo iziphetho osufinyelele kuzo. Kufanele ususe isihlungi sokubona bese uphonsa iso lakho phezu kwesithombe sangempela esiphambi kwakho. Kuthatha ukuzijayeza nokubekezela ukuze ukwazi ukwenza lokhu ngempumelelo.
Into eyodwa engasiza uku zibonise ububele. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kulabo ngokwemvelo abanendawo yangaphakathi yokulawula labo abazibeka icala nganoma yini nakho konke okungahambi kahle.
Ngokumangazayo, abantu abanjalo abahlali beshesha kangaka ukuthethisa abanye ngezinto abacabanga ukuthi bayehluleka. Indlela abaziphatha ngayo ayikhombisi ukuthi babaphatha kanjani abanye, futhi bangaba nomusa, banakekele futhi babe nozwelo njenganoma ngubani omunye umuntu.
Icebo labantu abanjalo-ke, ukucabanga ukuthi bakhuluma bodwa njengomuntu ohlukile futhi benze futhi bakhulume ngokufanele. Esikhundleni sokugxeka ngokweqile nokuvumela imicabango elimazayo thatha izintambo, uzwele ezidingweni zakho nasekuqondeni noma yini obungayibuka njengephutha noma iphutha.
Lokho akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukufunda ezimeni lapho ukulawula kwakusezandleni zakho kakhulu. Kwesinye isikhathi ukwehluleka kuzoba phansi kuwe, kepha esikhundleni sokubona lokhu njengokubi, zitshele ukuthi, 'Yebo, ngiyaphutha, kodwa ngizofunda kulokhu bese ngiba namandla ngakho.'
Ezimweni lapho indawo engaphandle yokulawula idala imicabango nokuziphatha okwehlulayo, into eyodwa ongazama ukuyenza funa into encane kunazo zonke ongayenza ukushintsha izimo zakho.
Futhi, lokhu kufanele kube inqubo yokwazi ebekela inselelo ingqondo yakho yokufunda. Kufanele uthule imicabango yokuthi ungumgibeli ongenakuzisiza, futhi uzikhumbuze ukuthi uyakwazi kangakanani ukulawula impilo yakho. Lokhu ukwenza nge umfutho wokwakha, ukuqala ngento encane kangangoba icishe ibe yinto encane.
Mhlawumbe wendlala umbhede, unisele izitshalo, funda isiqinisekiso esihle , yenza umphathi wakho inkomishi yekhofi, noma usule ibhokisi lakho lemilayezo engenayo elingafundiwe. Akunandaba ukuthi kungabonakala kungabalulekile kangakanani, kumane nje kubalulekile ukuthi wenze okuthile. Bese wenza enye into, bese wenza enye, bese uqhubeka nokwenza lezi zinto ezincane uze uthole ukuthi empeleni wenze okuningi impela. Lokhu kusebenza njengesikhumbuzo sokuthi wena yenza lawula izingxenye ezithile zempilo yakho, uma ukhetha ukuyisebenzisa.
Elinye iqhinga elisemqoka lokulinganisa indawo yangaphandle yokulawula egudle kokungafanele yilo sebenza, hhayi ukwenziwa . Yenza izinto eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka okubandakanya ukuthi uzikhethele - noma ngabe uqala kancane futhi uqhubekele ezintweni ezinomphumela owengeziwe.
uyini umehluko phakathi kokwenza uthando nokwenza ucansi
Okunye ukucatshangelwa okubalulekile okufanele ukwenze yindaba ozitshela yona lapho kwenzeka izinto ezinhle empilweni yakho. Ngenkathi ugcina iso lakho ligxile kokungokoqobo, kufanele zituse ngethonya onalo ngaphezu kwanoma yimiphi imiphumela emihle. Yebo, kungahle kube nento ethile yenhlanhla ethintekayo, kepha zimbalwa izinto ezake zehlele enhlanhleni enhle noma embi.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho umphumela ungaphansi kokufiselekayo, thembeka ngendima oyidlalile. Ngaphandle kokuphambukela emdlalweni wokusola, zenzele izehlakalo lapho okungenzeka ngabe unephutha khona, kunokuba uthathe umthwalo ubekwe kwenye indawo.
Kungakhathaza ukwamukela ukungapheleli kwakho - ikakhulukazi kwabanye abantu - kepha ukwenza kanjalo kungaqinisa ubudlelwano futhi kuthuthukise izimo zakho. Nikwa amandla ngokuthatha ubunikazi bezenzo zakho.
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I-Stability Factor Yokulawula
Esinye isici esibalulekile sendawo yakho yokulawula ukuthi ngabe ubona okuthile njengokuhlala unomphela (noma okuhlala isikhathi eside) noma okuguqukayo. Noma, ukuze kunembe kakhudlwana: kuzinzile noma kungazinzile.
Ungahle, ngokwesibonelo, ubheke ubude bakho obukhule ngokugcwele njengomuntu ozinzile. Ukulinganisa okhalweni lwakho, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuyinto engashintsha ngakho-ke kubhekwa njengokungahlali kahle.
Ungakanani umzamo owufaka entweni ongazinzile. Ubunzima bemisebenzi ethile buzinzile (umjaho waseNew York ulingana namamayela angama-26 unyaka nonyaka, yize izimo zezulu zingenza zingazinzi kakhulu).
Amalungelo akho njengesakhamuzi sezwe lakho angabonakala njengokuzinza noma ukungazinzile kuye ngokuthi uhlalaphi.
Isimo sezulu asizinzi, kepha ukuguquguquka kwezinkathi, kuya ngokuthi uhlala kuphi, inqubo ezinzile (yize ukuguquka kwesimo sezulu kunomthelela kulokhu).
Indlela into ezinze ngayo ingaba nomthelela ekutheni ukholelwa ukuthi ingaphakathi noma ngaphandle kwendawo yakho yokulawula. Ngenkathi ezinye izinto zizinzile / zingazinzile, kungaba njalo futhi ukubona kwakho okuthile kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu. Ungahle uthathe isinqumo sokuthi okuthile noma okunye kuzinzile ngakho-ke akuyona into onamandla okuyilawula. Omunye umuntu angabona isimo esifanayo ngokuhlukile futhi akholelwe ukuthi bangashintsha izinto.
Isibonelo, ungabona ukubamba umkhuhlane ebusika njengokungenakugwenywa. Kwenzeka minyaka yonke futhi kuba nomphumela ozinzile ngoba uchayeka kuwo ezokuthutha zomphakathi futhi amasosha akho omzimba alungile. Omunye umuntu angabona amasosha omzimba njengongazinzile, futhi ngaleyo ndlela abe nethonya ngokuzivocavoca umzimba nangokudla okunempilo. Bangabona futhi ukuhamba kwabo beyosebenza njengokuthile abangakushintsha ngokuhamba ngebhayisikili, ngokushayela, noma ngokuhamba ngezinyawo njengendlela ehlukile yokuhamba.
Njengoba uzobona, umqondo wokuzinza uxhumana ngokusondelene kakhulu ne…
Ukulawulwa
Ezinye izinto zingaphezu kwamandla ethu. Ilanga liyaphuma futhi liyashona, umnotho uyadlondlobala namabhasi, izimboni ziyaphuma futhi zinyamalale, siyakhula. Njengomuntu ngamunye, asinalo ithonya elincane kulezi zinto.
Ukuphakama kwakho akuyona into ongayilawula, kepha ukhalo lwakho. Ubude be-marathon abukho ezandleni zakho, kodwa ukuthi uziqeqesha kanzima kanjani. Amalungelo akho njengesakhamuzi angahle noma angabi yinto ongayithonya ngqo, kodwa isimo sakho sengqondo ngakubo sinjalo.
Ngokuqondene nesimo sezulu nezinkathi… ake sithi une-seasonal affective disorder (SAD) futhi ulwa nobusika lapho uhlala khona. Awukwazi ukulawula ukuqala kobusika noma ukunciphisa izinsuku. Kepha ungalawula lapho uhlala khona. Ungakhetha ukuthuthela ezweni elisenkabazwe lapho ukufudumala kuhlala khona unyaka wonke. Noma ungachitha uhhafu wonyaka enyakatho nenkabazwe nengxenye eningizimu (isixazululo esibi kakhulu, mhlawumbe, kodwa hhayi esingenakwenzeka).
Ungakuthatha njengokuguga njengento yemvelo yokuphila okufanele yamukelwe - ukuthi ayilawuleki. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, unganquma ukuthi ukuguga yinto oshiwo abanye maqondana nokudla, ukuvivinya umzimba, noma ukuhlinzwa kwezimonyo - ukuthi kuyalawuleka (ngezinga elithile).
Ngakho-ke ukulawula, njengokuzinza, akufani kumuntu ngamunye. Umbono wakho ungahluka kuleyo ephethwe abangani bakho, osebenza nabo, noma amalungu omndeni.
Kungani Kufanele Nginakekele?
Impendulo esheshayo: ngabe indawo okulawula kuyo ingaphakathi ngaphakathi noma ngaphandle yenza umehluko obonakalayo wokuthi ubheka kanjani impilo nemiphumela ohlangabezana nayo.
Impendulo ende: ngokuqonda ukuthi ungashintshela nini futhi kuphi endaweni yangaphakathi noma yangaphandle yokulawula, ungathola izinzuzo zakho zombili. Ungakhuthazeka futhi uzimisele esikhundleni sokwehlulwa. Ungakwazi thatha umthwalo walezo zinto ongazithonya futhi wamukele lezo ongeke ukwazi. Ungazikhombisa umusa lapho wehluleka, ngenkathi ufunda izifundo ukuzama ukugwema ukwenza amaphutha afanayo kabili.
Imiqondo emikhulu okufanele uyikhumbule yilena ibhalansi futhi ubuqiniso. Kufanele uguquguquke ngokwengqondo ukuze uthathe indlela efanele kwisimo ngasinye ohlangabezana naso. Futhi kufanele uphume ngaphandle kwekhanda lakho futhi ubhekane neqiniso lalezi zimo, futhi.
Ukulindela okujwayelekile kwendawo yangaphakathi yokulawula kuhle, kepha uma kungenasisekelo empeleni, ubeka engcupheni leyo micabango yokuzigxeka ehambisana nanoma ikuphi ukwehluleka. Kungaba nempilo enhle ukwamukela ukuthi ezinye izinto zingakulawule kwakho, kepha kungaba ngokungenampilo ngokufanayo ukukholelwa ukuthi awunalo ithonya empilweni yakho.
Ngaphambi kokubuyela emibonweni yangaphakathi noma yangaphandle, udinga ukuzibuza ukuthi siyini isimo. Ungacabangi ukuthi umuzwa wakho uhlale ulungile ezinye izinto empeleni zingaphandle kolawulo lwakho, kepha izinto eziningi azikho. Cabanga ngakho, uhlole izinketho zakho, bese unquma ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini noma cha ongakwenza ukuthonya umphumela. Bese uyakwenza, noma wamukele okuzoba khona.
