Akunandaba ukuthi umlingani wakho umkhulu kangakanani, noma uqhubeka kangakanani, obunye ubudlelwano abuphumeleli nje.
Lokho kwesinye isikhathi kwehlela ezindabeni ezisemqoka, njengamanani ahlukile noma okuhlangenwe nakho okwedlule, kepha kwesinye isikhathi kungahle kube nomugqa omncane kakhulu phakathi kobudlelwano obunempilo obusebenzayo, kanye nobungajabuli obumiselwe ukuphela.
Kunezinyathelo ezithile eziqondile ongazithatha ukwenza ubuhlobo bakho busebenze - lezi yizinto wena nomlingani wakho eningazenza, ngakho-ke xoxa nabo futhi uzibophezele enqubeni leyo.
1. Khulumisana ngokwethembeka. Xolisa njalo.
Ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile nangobuqotho kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Lokhu yikho okwenza umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano obusebenzayo nobudlelwano obungeneme obugcina buholele ekuhlukaneni.
Funda ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomunye. Yibani nengxoxo yokuthi yini esebenza kangcono kini nobabili. Kungazizwa kuxakile noma kungasile, kepha kuzokhokha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Qonda ukuthi ukuxhumana akusikho ukukhuluma nje kuphela e omunye nomunye kumayelana nokukhuluma nge ngabanye. Kunomehluko omkhulu.
Owokuqala akuyona ingxoxo ngempela - kungabantu ababili kuphela abethula imicabango yabo komunye. Ingxoxo eyiqiniso ingukushintshana ngemicabango, imibuzo, nemizwa edinga zombili izindlebe ezivulekile nezingqondo ezivulekile kanye nomlomo ovaliwe ngezikhathi ezithile!
Ukulalela - ukulalela okuqotho - kuyadingeka ukuze nobabili nizizwe nizwakala. Lokhu kubandakanya ukufaka imicabango yakho kolunye uhlangothi ngenkathi enye ikhuluma. Ungavumeli umqondo wakho ukuthi uhlale lapho uhlela ukuthi uzophendula kanjani ngenkathi umlingani wakho ezama ukuziveza, ngoba lokhu kuzokuvimba ukuthi ulalele ngempela abakushoyo.
Vala noma iziphi iziphazamiso ezinjengezingcingo, amathelevishini, noma umculo onomsindo. Gxila kulokho omunye nomunye akushoyo futhi uzothola ukuthi uzizwa ungcono kakhulu ngemuva kwalokho.
Uma kukhulunywa ngezingxoxo ezibucayi, ungahle uthande ukuxoxa ngesihloko ngokushesha lapho sivela ukuze usisuse endleleni. Umlingani wakho angancamela ukushiya izingxoxo izinsuku ezimbalwa ukuze nobabili nibe nesikhathi sokucubungula nokuqoqa imicabango yenu. Akukho okulungile noma okungalungile, ngakho-ke kufanele uthole indawo ephakathi esebenza kini nobabili,
Kunezinto eziningi kakhulu eningazifunda ngesitayela sokuxhumana somunye nomunye ezizokusiza ukuthi nisebenze kangcono ngokubambisana njengabantu abashadile.
Ukuxhumana kukuvumela ukuthi nibe nokuqondana okujulile komunye nomunye, kanye nobudlelwano obunempilo ngokuphelele. Ikunikeza nethuba lokuzibophezela ngaphezulu kwezinga lomzwelo futhi.
Ukufunda ukuxolisa nakho kubaluleke kakhulu maqondana nokuba nobudlelwano obunempilo. Ukuthatha ubunikazi bamaphutha akho, ukuqonda nokuzwelana nokuthi umenze kanjani umuntu wazizwa kanjani, futhi ukuzithuthukisa ngokwako kubalulekile!
Khombisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uyabazisa futhi ubahloniphe ngokwanele ukuvuma ukuthi wenze iphutha. Futhi, okubaluleke ngokufanayo, zibophezele ukubakhombisa ukuthi ngeke kuphinde kwenzeke.
Lokhu kusebenza ngazo zombili izindlela - futhi udinga ukwamukela ukuxolisa kwesinye isikhathi. Ungahle ungadluli kokwenzekile, kepha kufanele unikeze umlingani wakho isikweletu ngokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo futhi ufunge ukuthi uzoshintsha abe ngcono.
2. Gcina umuzwa wakho uqobo.
Abantu abaningi, ikakhulukazi labo abasanda kuphola, kubonakala sengathi bacabanga ukuthi ukwenza ubuhlobo busebenze kusho ukuphonsa konke kubo. Sonke isikhathi sakho namandla okuba nomunye 24/7, futhi empeleni ukuba umbhangqwana.
Lokhu akusebenzi nje…
Kubalulekile ukugcina impilo ngaphandle kobuhlobo bakho uma ufuna lobo budlelwano buphumelele. Kungazwakala kubuyela emuva kwabanye abantu, kepha sethembe kulokhu.
Uma uhlala ugxile ebudlelwaneni bakho, uzothola amaphutha kubo ngoba uhlala uhlaziya. Eqinisweni, cishe uzoba njalo dala amaphutha.
ungayeka kanjani ukuba nenkani ebudlelwaneni
Uma ungenzi lutho ngaphandle kokuthi umlingani wakho akwenze nawe, uzobacasukela kungekudala. Njalo lapho umngane ekumemela kwenye indawo wedwa, ngokwesibonelo, uzomzonda ngasese umlingani wakho ngeqiniso lokuthi awukwazi ukuya.
Uma uyeka ukuzilibazisa nezinto ozithandayo, uthembela ngokuphelele kumlingani wakho ukufeza zonke izidingo onazo. Kepha abasoze, bakwazi nhlobo ukwenza lokhu, futhi uzokhungatheka ngalokho, futhi ukhathazeke ngokuthi abakulungele ngoba uzizwa sengathi awuhambisani.
Lapho uqhubeka ngokwengeziwe empilweni yakho, lapho unganikeza kakhulu umlingani wakho. Futhi, kungazwakala kungajwayelekile, kepha kuyasebenza ngempela, futhi imvamisa yikhona okuhlukanisa ubudlelwano obunempilo nalobo obenzelwe ukuhlukana.
Ungabeki ingcindezi engaka kumlingani wakho, ungabheki kubo ukwanelisa zonke izici zobuntu bakho, futhi ungavali yonke into, nawo wonke umuntu, okunye empilweni yakho.
Esikhundleni salokho, hlala umatasa, wenze okuthandwa nguwe, futhi qhubeka nokuzimela . Ngaleyo ndlela, uzozwa sengathi isikhathi nomlingani wakho yisikhathi sekhwalithi, futhi nizojabulela ukuba nomunye nomunye kakhulu.
andre impi enkulu yasebukhosini 2019
3. Zisebenzele ngokwakho.
Ngokufana nephuzu langaphambilini, kuningi okungashiwo ngenqubekela phambili ezimele.
Lokho kusho ukuthi hhayi nje ukusebenzela ubudlelwano ukuze wenze ubuhlobo busebenze.
Uma ufuna ukuba ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, udinga ukuba ngabantu ababili abaphilile.
Lokho akusho ukuthi udinga ukuba nomzimba omi kahle, usesimweni esihle ngokwengqondo, futhi ungalokothi ube nengcindezi! Kusho nje ukuthi nobabili kudingeka nenze isikhathi sokugxila kini kanye nasekuzithuthukiseni.
Ungahle wazi kahle ngezinkinga zokuzibophezela onazo, ngokwesibonelo, ezingeke zibe ngcono ngokumane uthumele kothile. Esikhundleni salokho, ungaqhubeka nokuzisebenzela, ufune ukwelulekwa ukuze ubhekane nomnyombo walezo zinkinga, bese usebenzisa lezo zinguquko ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Kungenzeka kube nezinye izinto ofuna ukuzisebenzela ngaphandle kobudlelwano. Mhlawumbe unenkinga engathinta ngqo noma engathinti ngqo ubuhlobo bakho. Kunoma ikuphi, kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yakho ukuthi usebenzele ukuyinciphisa.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uzizwe unenkululeko yokwenza lokhu, nokuthi unokwesekwa okuvela kumlingani wakho ukuze akubone kahle. Ukuthi inhloso ayibuthinti ngqo ubudlelwano, akusho ukuthi ubudlelwano akufanele bube yingxenye yokufinyelela umgomo!
Ngokulinganayo, umlingani wakho angafuna ukugxila enjongweni yakhe siqu. Futhi, basekele, futhi ukwazise ukubaluleka kwabo kubo.
Ngokuzinika isikhathi sokuzisebenzela, niyakhombisana ukuthi niyakwazi ukubhekana nezenzo zenu.
Lokhu kukhombisa nokuthi uzimisele ukufaka umzamo odingekayo ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze. Nakulokhu futhi, yilokhu okuzokwenza ubudlelwano bakho bume isikhathi, kanye nanoma yiziphi ezinye izinselelo obhekana nazo.
Ubudlelwano obuqinile benziwa ngabantu abaqinile, ngakho-ke gxila ekufinyeleleni kuleso sigaba njengabantu abahlukene ukuze nibe namandla ndawonye.
4. Sungula futhi uhloniphe imingcele.
Uma ufuna ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo, kufanele kube nemingcele ethile.
Yenza isikhathi sokuxoxa ngalokhu nomlingani wakho kusenesikhathi, noma lapho usondela esigabeni esilandelayo, njenge behamba ndawonye .
Uma usanda kuphola, ungasetha imingcele ngokuzikhethela - lokho kungenzeka ukuthi akekho phakathi kwenu ojola nabanye abantu, noma ususa izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola kusuka kumafoni akho. Lo ngumngcele olula, futhi kuyindlela yakho yokuthi ufuna ukuzibophezela komunye nomunye ezingeni elithile.
Ungase futhi ufune ukuqinisekisa ukuthi nobabili nigcina izimpilo zenu ziqhubeka, njengoba sishilo. Lolu hlobo lomngcele lungazwakala ngathi, 'Ibhola ngoLwesibili libaluleke kakhulu kimi, futhi ngifuna ukuhlala ngizinikele kulokho.'
Lokhu kungumngcele ofanelekile ongasikisela, futhi kukhombisa nozakwenu ukuthi ukuthathela phezulu ukuzibophezela!
Kubenza bazi ukuthi nawe uyazihlonipha - bekungakhathaza kanjani uma othile engalahla ngokoqobo konke (kufaka phakathi into abekade ekwenza masonto onke kule minyaka eyishumi eyedlule) kuwe?
Kuyakhanga lapho othile ekhathalela okuthile okwanele ukuzibophezela kukho, ngakho-ke kufanele futhi ube nenhlonipho nokwazisa umlingani wakho uma beziphakamisela umngcele ofanayo.
Imingcele ongafuna ukuyisungula ngemuva kwesikhathi emugqeni kungaba ngendawo yomuntu siqu. Mhlawumbe uthanda ukuhambahamba ngesikhathi sokuxabana ukuze usule ikhanda lakho, kepha umlingani wakho uyakuzonda futhi ufuna ukususa ingxabano nje endleleni.
Umngcele lapha ungazwakala ngathi uthi, 'Kwesinye isikhathi, ngidinga isikhala esincane ukuze ngiphile ukuze ngikwazi ukuzibophezela ngokufanele ekuxazululeni le nkinga.'
Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi uyabuhlonipha ubudlelwano futhi ufuna ukubuphumelela. Kubenza bazi ukuthi lokhu ukwenzela bona, ngoba uyabakhathalela, nokuthi awubashiyi noma ugasele ngenxa yokuthi usuthi.
Khumbula ukuthi bazobona izenzo zakho ngokuhlukile kwesinye isikhathi, ngakho-ke kungasiza ukuchaza ukuthi kungani wenza lokhu okwenzayo. Le yindlela enhle yokubazisa ngalokho okudingayo, futhi ungabamema ukuthi bakwazise ukuthi yini bona ngidinga ukubuyiselwa.
Khumbula ukuthi bangafuna futhi ukusikisela imingcele - ungahle ungabathandi ekuqaleni, kepha kufanele ubenzele inhlonipho futhi balalele.
Isibonelo, umngcele wabo kungenzeka ukuthi awungeni ngocingo lwabo. Ungagxili eziphethweni bese ucabanga ukuthi kungenxa yokuthi bayakukhohlisa. Banikeze ithuba lokuthi bachaze ukuthi kungani lokhu kubalulekile kubo - mhlawumbe babene-ex eyayilawula kakhulu eyayididekile, futhi okufunayo yinkululeko nokuzethemba okuthile.
Ngokubanika ithuba lokuchaza ukubaluleka kwemingcele yabo, ubakhombisa ukuthi uyabakhathalela futhi uyabahlonipha. Nobabili niyavulelana omunye nomunye, okungaqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo nokuqhubeka.
Lapho ninokwethembeka ngokwengeziwe nobabili ngezidingo zenu, ukuyekethisa okungcono eningakwenza nobudlelwano bakho buzoba nempilo ephelele.
5. Sebenzela ukufeza izinhloso bese uhlela ikusasa.
Enye yezindlela ezinhle zokugcina ubudlelwano bunempilo futhi buzinzile ukuzibophezela ezinhlosweni ndawonye.
Iqiniso lokuthi nihlelela ikusasa ndawonye lizonisiza nobabili nizizwe niphephile ebudlelwaneni.
Ukuba nokuthile okuhlose ukuphoqa ukuthi nihlangane futhi nisebenze ngenkuthalo ukuthola izixazululo kunoma yiziphi izinselelo enibhekana nazo.
Uzozizwa unamandla futhi uzuze kangcono njengombhangqwana uma unokuthile ongakusebenzela, ngoba uzoba nezinto zokubeka uphawu kuhlu lwakho lwezinto okufanele zenziwe.
Setha izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zemigomo - njengokulondolozela indawo yokuhlala ndawonye, ukubhuka iholide, bobabili ukuzilolonga, njll. Ukuba nezinhloso ezahlukahlukene kuzokwenza kusebenze izici ezahlukahlukene zobudlelwano bakho, futhi kudale noma kuqinise ukubopha.
Isibonelo, ukongela indawo yokuhlala ndawonye kuzokhuthaza ukusondelana okungokomzwelo. Nizokwabelana ngokujabula kwesinyathelo esilandelayo ebudlelwaneni benu, futhi nobabili ningasebenzela kulokhu ndawonye.
Ukusebenzela umgomo ophathekayo kuzokucindezela ngezindlela ezahlukene, futhi nizobhekana nezinselelo ndawonye. Ukusebenza ndawonye kuhle ebudlelwaneni bakho, njengoba uthola ukuthokozisa okuhle osheshayo futhi ungagubha ukuwina endleleni. Isibonelo, ukushaya ukuzivoxavoxa kuninika nobabili ukuphakama okusheshayo (sibonga lawo ma-endorphin), uma kuqhathaniswa nokonga indlu, ongeke uzuze kangako izinyanga, uma kungenjalo unyaka noma emibili!
Hlanganisa imigomo yakho, zibophezele ekusebenzeni ndawonye, futhi nenze isikhathi sokugubha impumelelo yenu endleleni.
ungabhala kanjani amaqiniso ngawe
6. Yenza ukuyekethisa.
Ingxenye yanoma yibuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo, ukwenza ukuyekethisa key uma ufuna ukwakha okuthile okuhlala njalo.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho uhlala uthola indlela yakho, noma ukuthi omunye wenu kufanele enze ukuzidela okukhulu futhi abe lusizi.
Esikhundleni salokho, kusho ukuthi uzibophezela ekubeni nobudlelwano obuhle futhi wamukele ukuthi kufanele uhlangane phakathi kwesinye isikhathi.
Kuhle ukukhuluma ngohlobo lokuyekethisa nobabili eninomuzwa wokuthi lungazuzisa, njengoba nenze ngemingcele enifuna ukuyisebenzisa.
Kungahle kube nezinto ezithile okungeke kuxoxiswane ngazo kuwe, okudingeka ube phambili ngazo ekuqaleni ukuze lokhu kube okulungile. Uma wazi ukuthi awusoze waba nobudlelwano nomuntu wenye inkolelo noma inkolo ehlukile kuwe, noma ngeke neze ube nomuntu odla izidakamizwa, kufanele uthembeke ngalokhu ngokushesha okukhulu ukuze ugweme ukumosha isikhathi.
Ngezinye izinto okhululeke ngazo, kusabalulekile ukuveza indlela ozizwa ngayo. Uma ungathembekile kulokho okufunayo noma okulindele, awusoze wajabula - umlingani wakho akakwazi ukufunda umqondo wakho!
Zinike isikhathi sokuveza indlela ozizwa ngayo nokuthi kungani izinto ezithile zibaluleke kangaka kuwe, futhi uvulele ithuba lokuthi nazo zenze okufanayo.
Zilungiselele ukuthi babe nemibono ephikisayo kuwe, futhi ube nokuzola ngenkathi uthola indawo ephakathi nendawo. Lo akuwona umncintiswano we-'tit for tat ', kepha kufanelekile ukuthi, 'Ngiyekethisile kulokhu ngenxa yakho, futhi ngingakuthokozela ukuthi ucabange ukuyekethisa kulokhu ngenxa yami.'
Akufanele kube ngomuntu ‘okweleta’ omunye umuntu noma yini, noma mayelana nokukhubeka unecala ekuphikiseni izindinganiso zakho! Kufanele kube ngokuxhumana okuthembekile nezivumelwano ezivuthiwe.
Isizathu sokuthi lokhu kungukhiye wokwenza ubudlelwano busebenze yingoba kubeka konke etafuleni. Akunandawo yokudideka noma ukusolwa uma nobabili nazi ukuthi nimi kuphi ezintweni ezingaba yimpikiswano noma ezinamadwala.
7. Zinikele esikhathini sekhwalithi.
Abaningi bethu banikela ngobusuku bobusuku lapho sisebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Sichitha isikhathi esiningi nomlingani wethu noma kunjalo, futhi siphume kancane isikhathi sokuphola, ngakho… kungani uzihlupha?
Yebo, kugcina ukuthandana kuphila, okukodwa! Ngokuzibophezela ukuphola nobusuku noma ukubekela eceleni isikhathi sokuchitha nomunye nenza okuthile okujabulisayo noma kwezothando, nikhombisana ukuthi niyakhathala.
Utshale imali ebudlelwaneni futhi ufuna umlingani wakho azi ukuthi ubazisa kangakanani - futhi kuyathandeka ukwazi ukuthi nabo bayakwazisa!
Impilo ingaba muhle kakhulu, noma ngabe ukubuhlobo obushubile kunabo bonke. Kuzohlala kunemigqomo yokulahla, izitsha zokuwashwa, nezikweletu okufanele zilungiswe. Kulula kakhulu ukungena esimisweni futhi ngandlela thile ungene ezindinganisweni zokuthi ubani olalisa izingane, noma ukuthi kungani isidlo sakusihlwa singakulungele lapho ubuya emsebenzini.
Ngokugxila esikhathini sekhwalithi futhi usifaka kumakhalenda akho, uzibophezela ekujabuleleni isikhathi esithandanayo lapho ungeyena umama noma ubaba, isisebenzi noma umphathi, abantu ababili kuphela abathandanayo.
Ibuye inikeze ukuzinza nokuphepha kini nobabili. Uma uhlala umatasa kodwa umlingani wakho engekho, isibonelo (kungaba ngomsebenzi noma ngamaqembu wobungani njll.), Bangakhathazeka ukuthi awunaso isikhathi esanele sabo. Kungenzeka ukuthi bahleli ekhaya bazizwa benesizungu noma belahliwe ngenkathi usahamba ukubona iqembu labangane ekuseni, kanti elinye ntambama - noma okuphambene nalokho!
Kunoma ikuphi, uma nobabili niphila izindlela ezahlukene zokuphila, omunye wenu angakhathazeka ngokuthi ngeke kube nesikhathi esanele esihlukaniselwe ukujabulela ukuba izithandani.
ongakutshela abantu ngawe
Ngokuzinikela ngesikhathi esisezingeni ndawonye, nazisa omunye nomunye ukuthi nenza umzamo ngenkuthalo ngoba niyakhathala. Ukwazi ukuthi bona kuthanda ukukubona uzodla isidlo sakusihlwa kabili ngeviki, isibonelo, kuzokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe evikelekile - banokuthile ababheke phambili kukho, banokuthile okuhleliwe, futhi bazizwe sengathi uyabazisa futhi ubacabangele.
8. Ungesabi ukungavumelani.
‘Ubudlelwano obulungile’ esibubona ezinhlelweni ze-TV noma kumamuvi kubonakala sengathi bugxile kubantu ababili abahlangana kahle ngokumangazayo. Mhlawumbe kahle kakhulu…
Izithandani ziyaxabana! Futhi lokho kuvamile futhi unempilo . Okokuqala, ingaba yisicefe kanjani impilo uma nivumelana ngokoqobo ngayo yonke into? Ubungeke ube nezingxoxo ezinkulu, awusoze wabona ngempela ukuthi umlingani wakho unothando kangakanani lapho evikela into ayithandayo, futhi ubuyithola iyisicefe futhi ibikezela.
Ukugcina ubudlelwane bunempilo futhi busebenza, empeleni kubaluleke kakhulu ukuphikisana kwesinye isikhathi. Ukuba nokwehluka emibonweni kukhombisa ukuthi uthembekile ngendlela ozizwa ngayo, futhi lokho kubaluleke kakhulu enhlalakahleni yakho yengqondo nasekuqondeni kwabo wena nezifiso zakho.
Uma nobabili nivumelana ngaso sonke isikhathi, omunye wenu mhlawumbe uqamba amanga - futhi lokho kuyakhathaza ngezizathu eziningi.
Kungenzeka ukuthi baqamba amanga ngoba bamane balangazelela ukukujabulisa futhi bacabanga ukuthi ukufihla ukuthi bangobani ngempela, nokuhambisana nanoma yini oyishoyo, kuyindlela engcono yokwenza lokho.
Noma baqamba amanga ngoba nje abazizwa bekhululekile ukuveza indlela abazizwa ngayo ngokweqiniso, okungasho ukuthi bathule bathukuthele bacasukile futhi bacindezele intukuthelo.
Kunoma ikuphi, ukuba nempikiswano enempilo noma ukuthukuthela kwesinye isikhathi akuyona into embi! Eqinisweni, imvamisa umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano obunempilo obusebenzayo, nobudlelwano obungajabulisi obubheke ekwahlukaneni…
Vele uzame ukulwa okulungile , ngoba ukungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni kungaba yimpilo noma kungenampilo kuya ngokuthi bobabili abalingani bakubheka kanjani.
Khumbula ukuthi bonke ubudlelwano buya ezikhathini ezinzima, ngakho-ke ukwenza lezi zinto kungahle 'kungalungisi' lutho ngobusuku obubodwa. Ngokwenza uguquko lwesikhathi eside, noma kunjalo, utshala imali kumlingani wakho nasebudlelwaneni bakho, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi ubone ukuthuthuka kwangempela.
Ngokulinganayo, akubona bonke ubudlelwano obuzohlala unomphela, futhi lokho kulungile ukuvuma nokwamukela, noma ngabe kubuhlungu noma kusabisa kangakanani. Kwesinye isikhathi, nobabili ninganikela ngakho konke ebudlelwaneni futhi kuvele kungasebenzi. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi izinselelo zinkulu kakhulu ukuthi zinganqotshwa, noma ngenxa yokuthi isikhathi asilungile, omunye wenu unezinkinga zomuntu siqu okumele azisingathe eyedwa, noma ngoba nje bekungahloselwe ukuhlala isikhathi eside.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ubudlelwano bakho bungasebenza kanjani? Ngabe kunezinkinga ezithile ezidinga ukulungiswa? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
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