Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kuyindlela abantu abasondelene kakhulu nathi abangayisebenzisa ukusilimaza nokusikhohlisa, kungaba ngamabomu noma ngokungenhloso.
izinto ongazenza uma unesithukuthezi ekhaya
Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kulapho othile esebenzisa ubuthakathaka bethu, izimfihlo zethu, nobuthakathaka bethu ukuze athole lokho abakufunayo kithi.
Singaphathwa kabi ngokomphefumulo nguphathina wethu, abazali, izingane, izingane zakwethu, abangani, osebenza nabo, noma omunye umuntu esiseduze naye ngaphandle kokubona ukuthi kwenzekani…
… Noma, sengathi kuvame ukwenzeka, singafuni ukuvuma kithina ngokwenzekayo.
Kwesinye isikhathi, i-blackmailer ingahle ingazazi izindlela zabo zokuziphatha (noma ingazimisele ngokuvuma ukwenzelwa okubi njengenkambiso yomlingiswa) ngakho iyaphika kubo nakubo bonke abanye abantu.
Ngezinhloso zale ndatshana, sizogxila ebudlelwaneni bezothando, kepha ukuhlukumeza okungokomzwelo kwezinhlobo ezichazwe ngezansi kungasebenza kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano.
Lolu hlobo lwento lwenzeka kaningi ebudlelwaneni bomuntu siqu, kepha kungenzeka nakubudlelwano bobuchwepheshe.
Kubalulekile futhi ukukhumbula ukuthi kunamazinga ahlukene obukhali abandakanyekile lapha.
Sonke senza izinto zingahambi kahle, futhi iningi lethu lizosebenzisa izindlela ezilula kakhulu zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni bethu ngesikhathi esithile.
Lokho akusenzi sibe ngabakhohlisi abagcwele.
Singabantu nje, futhi sonke sinamaphutha ngemvelo yethu uqobo.
Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi izinhlobo ezahlukene zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ezikhona kanye nezimpawu ezenzekayo.
Lokhu kuzokuvumela ukuthi ubone lapho okuthile sekuhambe kakhulu futhi kwaba yinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ingcindezi Yokukhanya Akuyona I-Blackmail Njalo
Ngaphambi kokuba siqhubekele phambili, kudingeka sazi ukuthi kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, ukupha nokuthatha kuyinto ejwayelekile futhi enempilo. Izidingo kwesinye isikhathi zenziwa ngawe.
Kubalulekile ukukwazi ukungavumelani kodwa bese ningena ekuvumelaneni ngokuhlanganyela, futhi kwesinye isikhathi kuyodingeka nenze izinto mhlawumbe eningakhethe ukuzenza.
Kepha ubenzela noma kanjani ukuze kuzuze ubuhlobo bakho kanye nomuntu omthandayo.
Ngemuva kwakho konke, uma kuhlala kuyindlela yakho noma umgwaqo omkhulu, khona-ke udinga ukucabangela iqiniso lokuthi umnyama omnyama ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bakho kungenzeka abe nguwe.
Kepha kukhona umugqa lapha. Ukunikezela kunoma yini efunwa umlingani wakho akufanele kube yinto ejwayelekile, ikakhulukazi uma kumayelana nezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kuwe.
Umkhohlisi weqiniso uhlala engazinaki izidingo nezidingo zomunye umuntu evuna ezakhe futhi engaboni amalungelo omunye umuntu njengabalulekile.
Bathanda ukuba nomlingani empilweni yabo abangamlawula futhi abanantshisekelo kunoma yikuphi ukuyekethisa okubandakanya ubudlelwano obunempilo.
Bangazama ukugcina lokho kulawula kozakwethu nganoma iyiphi yalezi zindlela ezilandelayo.
Amasu amathathu we-Blackmail Engokomzwelo
Udokotela wezifo zengqondo uDkt. Susan Forward waklama isichazamazwi i-FOG ukuze afingqe amasu asetshenziswa ngabakhohlisi - Ukwesaba, Isibopho, Necala.
Umkhohlisi angazisebenzisa zonke lezi zinhlobo ezintathu zamasu ngasikhathi sinye, noma ancike kuhlobo olulodwa noma ezimbili kuzo.
Umuntu angangena kokwesaba umlingani wakhe (mhlawumbe ngokuphela kobudlelwano), enze imizwa yakhe yesibopho (mhlawumbe ibakhumbuze ukuthi bangabondli emndenini), noma abenze bazizwe benecala (ngokubeka izinkinga zabo ngokuphelele kozakwabo umnyango).
Benza lokhu besebenzisa ulwazi abalutholile eminyakeni edlule mayelana nokuthi yini eyenza umlingani wabo abeke uphawu.
Ukwazi lawa masu kanye nezinhlobo ezine zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo okuzoxoxwa ngazo kamuva kungakusiza ukuthi ubone ukuziphatha okungenzeka ubungakuboni njengokukhohlisa.
Ake sihlolisise amasu amathathu, bese sihlola izinhlobo ezine ze-blackmail bese sibona ukuthi lezi zinhlaka zihlangana kanjani.
Uvalo
Ukwesaba ukusabela okwenzelwe ukusivikela, kubangele izimpendulo zomzimba ezisilungiselela 'ukulwa noma ukundiza' lapho sizithola sisesimweni esisongelayo.
Lezo zimo akudingeki ukuthi zibe yingozi emzimbeni.
Singazizwa sesaba ngokulahlekelwa yibo esibathandayo noma ukulimaza ukuza kubo.
Kwesinye isikhathi, kuba nje ukwesaba okungaziwa abadlala ngabadlali.
Kunezinhlobo zonke zokwesaba ezingasetshenziswa ukubamba abantu, njengokuthi ukwesaba ukulahlwa , ukwesaba ukucasula othile, ukwesaba ukubhekana ngeziqu zamehlo, ukwesaba izimo ezikhohlisayo, nokwesaba ukuphepha kwakho ngokomzimba.
Isibopho
Sivame ukuzizwa sibophezelekile kubantu abasizungezile ngoba, njengabantu, umuzwa oqinile womphakathi uyingxenye enkulu yalokho okwenze izinhlobo zethu zezilwane ziphumelele kakhulu.
Kukhona ukuphepha ngamanani, futhi sonke sifuna ukufakwa eqenjini. Ukuze samukelwe, besilokhu sinezibopho ezithile okufanele sizifeze.
Abenzi bokulawula bangasebenzisa amasu ahlukene ukusikhumbuza ngalezo zibopho, bacindezele izinkinobho ezisenza sizizwe sibophezelekile ukwenza abakufunayo.
Umzali angahle akhumbuze ingane ngokuzidela abenzele kona bese eyitshela ukuthi ayibongi.
Uzakwethu angafuna ukuthi bazokwenza noma yini abayicelile ukuthi uyenze uma izindima zihlehlisiwe.
Umkhohlisi angase asole umngane ngokuzicabangela yena yedwa.
Icala
Icala lixhunyaniswe kakhulu nesibopho.
Uma singenzi into esicabanga ukuthi sinesibopho sokwenza, sithambekele ekubeni necala, noma sizizwe sengathi sifanelwe ukujeziswa ngandlela thile.
Kulula kakhulu ukuqala icala kumuntu, ngazo zonke izinhlobo zezizathu.
Singaba njalo ngenziwa ukuba ngizizwe nginecala ngokuthile esikwenzile ukucasula othile, ngenxa yobugovu bethu, noma ngokungenzi ingxenye yethu yomsebenzi ebudlelwaneni.
Singaba necala lokukhubeka ekusebenzeni ngokweqile, ngokuchitha kakhulu, ngokuchitha isikhathi nabanye abantu, noma ngisho nokujabula nje noma ukuzijabulisa lapho omunye umuntu ephansi noma ebhekene nesikhathi esinzima.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- AbakwaLimi AbakwaNarcissist Basebenzisa Ukuphatha Nokuhlukumeza Abahlukunyeziwe
- Ama-Tactics Narcissists Asebenzisa Ukulwa Nezisulu Zabo (Okudingeka Ukwazi)
- Uma Ulawula Abazali, UNGALOKOTHI Ubekezelele Lezi Zinto Ezi-3 Ezivela Kubo
- Izinhlobo Ezi-8 Zokulawula Abantu Ongase Uhlangane Nabo Empilweni
- Imingcele eyi-12 Ofanele Ukuyibeka Ebudlelwaneni Bakho
- Kungani Ukwelashwa Okuthulile Kulingana Nokuhlukunyezwa Ngokomzwelo nokuthi Ungaphendula Kanjani
Izinhlobo Ezi-4 Zokuhlukunyezwa Ngokomzwelo
UDkt. Forward uphakamise izinhlobo ezine ezihlukene zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo abantu abazisebenzisayo ebudlelwaneni babo.
Umuntu angamukela eyodwa noma eziningi zalezi zindima ukuze akwenze wenze lokho akufunayo.
Umjezisi
Lolu hlobo lwe-blackmailer luyazi ukuthi lukujezisa kanjani, futhi alinqeni ukwenza izitatimende ezinesibindi ezikutshela ukuthi iyoba yini imiphumela uma uzokwenza (noma ungenzi) into ethile.
Isu abadlala ngalo kakhulu ukwesaba.
Isijeziso abasikhiphayo kungaba yinoma yini ekuvimbeleni uthando nokuqeda ubudlelwano, ukukukhawulela ekuboneni abanye abantu ababalulekile empilweni yakho, kuya ezinhlawulisweni zezezimali.
Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kungasuselwa nasongelweni lokujeziswa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba.
Ozijezisayo
Abanye abantu abakhohlisayo bangasebenzisa iqhinga lokuzijezisa (noma basongele ngokujezisa) ngokwabo, bazi ukuthi kuzokwenza ukuthi umlingani wabo ahlupheke.
Isikhali sabo esikhulu sokuhlasela unecala (noma ithemba lecala ongabhekana nalo uma umkhohlisi elandela izinsongo zabo), kodwa futhi bazama ukudala ukwesaba (ukuthi umuntu omkhathalelayo uzokulimaza).
Izibonelo zalokhu zingafaka ukusongela ukuzilimaza noma ukuzibulala uma ungabashiya noma uthi ukuziphatha kwakho kuzobenza bacindezeleke uma uphikelela kukho.
Ohluphekayo
Abahluphekayo babamba usizi lwabo phezu kwekhanda lomlingani wabo njengendlela yokubenza benze lokho abakufunayo.
Bangasho ukuthi ukugula kwabo noma isimo sabo sengqondo kuyiphutha lomunye umuntu, noma batshele umlingani wabo ukuthi uma bengenzi abakuthandayo bazohlupheka ngenxa yalokho.
Bathembele enhlanganisweni yokwesaba (ukuthi inhlala-kahle yabo izohlupheka), isibopho (abaphilile ngakho-ke kufanele ubasize), kanye necala (lokuthi ungazizwa kabi uma behlupheka) ukuze bathole abakuthandayo.
Kwesinye isikhathi balindela ukuthi umlingani wabo akwazi ukuthola ukuthi yini engahambi kahle kubo ngaphandle kokuthi atshelwe ukuthi… 'uma ubungithanda ngempela, ubuzokwazi.'
I-Tantalizer
Ngenkathi zonke ezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza okungokomzwelo ziyizindlela eziningi 'zokunamathela', lena indlela 'yesanqante'.
Lokhu kuthembisa uhlobo oluthile lomvuzo, noma ngabe ubonakala noma ungaphatheki. Yize umvuzo ungavamile ukuvela.
Ukwesaba (ukuphuthelwa umklomelo), isibopho (babuze kahle futhi banikela nangomvuzo), nokuzizwa unecala (uzozizwa kabi ngokwala cha) mhlawumbe konke kuzohileleka ngezinga elithile.
Bacela wena ukuthi wenze okuthile ukubuyisela okunye, kepha imvamisa akusiyo ukuhweba okulungile.
Ngenkathi abanye abakhohlisi bezoncika kwelinye lamasu amathathu bese bewela kwesinye salezi zigaba ezi-4 (leso abasithola sisebenza kahle kakhulu), abanye bazoshintsha phakathi kwabo, bacindezele zonke izinkinobho zakho baze bathole indlela yabo.
Izimpawu Ezengeziwe Ezi-6 Zokukhohliswa Okungokomzwelo
Uma usebudlelwaneni ne-blackmailer engokomzwelo e-serial, khona-ke ukufunda okungenhla kungasetha izinsimbi ezimbalwa ze-alamu.
Kepha nazi ezinye izimpawu ezimbalwa okufanele uzibheke uma ungangabaza ukuthi usebudlelwaneni nomkhohlisi, noma kufanele uhlangane nesinye ngokuzayo.
1. Uyazi ekujuleni kwenhliziyo.
Kuningi ongazama ukukwenza qamba amanga kuwe noma ukuthola kunzima ukuvuma izinsolo zakho kubangani bakho noma emndenini, uyazi ekujuleni lapho umuntu onaye edlala ngemizwa yakho ukuthola lokho abakufunayo.
Lalela leyo mizwa ephikelelayo yokuncinza emgodini wesisu sakho futhi awukwazi ukuya kude kakhulu.
2. Bathanda ukuziqhayisa.
Abantu abakhohlisayo bavame ukukhuluma ngokungagudluki ngokuthi bamangalisa kangakanani… ngoba bayakukholelwa ngempela!
Uma othile ebonakala entula isizotha esifanele, leso uphawu oluyisixwayiso olukhulu.
3. Bathanda umsindo wezwi labo uqobo.
Abagcini nje ngokuziqhayisa, kodwa bakhuluma kakhulu, balawula izingxoxo, njengoba bezama ukulawula umlingani wabo.
Abayona isilaleli esihle nhlobo.
ungasho kanjani ukuthi uyathandana
4. Azizinhle ekuthatheni izeluleko / ukugxekwa.
Ngaphakathi ekujuleni kwabo abazethembi ngokwabo, noma ngabe badla ngokungazethembi futhi besengozini.
Bajwayele ukubona noma isiphi iseluleko abanikezwa sona njengokuthuka ubuhlakani babo kunalokho okuyikho.
Futhi inkosi ikusize uma uzama ukubagxeka, noma ngabe ukholwa ukuthi impendulo eyakhayo.
5. Bagxeka imibono yabanye futhi badlalela phansi impumelelo yabo.
Abafuni ukuthi abanye abantu babukeke bengcono kunabo, ngakho-ke benza umsebenzi wabo ukudicilela phansi izinto ezishiwo abanye abantu.
Futhi abakwazi ukubekezelela ukubona abanye abantu bephumelela futhi bechuma lapho bengekho, ikakhulukazi umlingani, futhi balwela ukufihla umona wabo.
Ngokuyisisekelo, kumayelana nabo.
6. Zishisa zishise futhi zibande.
Konke ku-hunky dory ngenkathi bethola indlela yabo, kepha uma kubukeka sengathi imimoya iyashintsha noma babhekana nokuphikiswa okuvela kumlingani wabo, bangahamba kusuka ku-zero baye ku-mad ngemizuzwana eyisicaba.
Bajabula kuphela lapho bekwazi ukuphatha izinto ngendlela abafuna ngayo, futhi bazisebenzisa ukushintsha kwemizwelo eguquguqukayo njengendlela yokugcina umlingani wabo ezinzwaneni zabo.
Ukukhanya okuncane kokuhlukumeza okungokomzwelo ngeshwa, kuya ngezifundo ebuhlotsheni obuningi bobudlelwano.
Kodwa uma uthole ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha sekuyiphethini engaguquguquki engemihle ethatha umthwalo kuwe ungahle ube sebudlelwaneni bokuhlukumeza.
Noma ngabe ikuphi, ukuqonda izingxenye zayo ezi-3 eziyisisekelo - ukwesaba, isibopho, ukuba necala - nezinhlobo ezi-4 zobugebengu ongabhekana nazo kungakusiza ukusisingatha kangcono isimo.
Ngabe awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ungakuphatha kanjani ukukhohliswa ngokomzwelo okuvela kumlingani wakho? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
Leli khasi liqukethe izixhumanisi ezihambisanayo. Ngithola ikhomishini encane uma ukhetha ukuthenga noma yini ngemuva kokuchofoza kuzo.
