Akunakugwenywa ukuthi ngesikhathi esithile empilweni yakho, uzohlangana nomuntu ofuna ukulawula ukuziphatha kwakho ngandlela thile. Lokhu kungaba yisithandwa, oshade naye, umngani osondelene naye, noma umqashi noma osebenza naye ozama ukulawula amagama noma izenzo zakho ukuze athole lokho abakufunayo.
Izenzo zabo zingabonakala zingenacala ekuqaleni, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzobona iphethini lokuziphatha elingasukela ekucashile kuye kokubi, kepha izinhlobo zokulawula zonke ziyalimaza ngendlela yazo.
1. Isihlukanisi
Uma usebudlelwaneni noma ubungani nalolu hlobo lomuntu, kufanele ubenze babe ngabakho kuphela, noma kube khona isihogo sokukhokha. Badinga ukuba umhlaba wakho wonke, ngakho-ke bazosebenzela ukukuhlukanisa nabanye abantu kwimibuthano yakho yomphakathi ukuze bathole abakufunayo.
Bazodlala izici ezingezinhle zabanye abangane bakho, bakhulume ngokuthi umndeni wakho ukuphethe kabi kanjani nokuthi bazi wena kuphela, bakuqonde kanjani, futhi bangenza kanjani ujabule. Ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, wena ungabi nabangane kwesobunxele, umndeni wakho awukhulumi neze nawe, futhi omunye wakho obalulekile ukuphela komuntu okufanele uxhumane naye.
Njengoba nje babefuna.
2. Umbali Wokufunda Ngengqondo
Lo ngumuntu okholelwa ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ucabangani noma uzizwa ngasiphi isikhathi, futhi kukuwe ukuthi ubabonakalise ngenye indlela. Bazoqala imisho ngo- “Ucabanga ____” noma “Uyakholelwa ____,” bakusole ngokuba nemicabango ethile ngaphandle ebuza wena.
Ukuba nomona, izinhlobo zezimpahla , Bangadabula ama-akhawunti wakho wezokuxhumana futhi bakhe izindaba ezingqondweni zabo ngalokho abacabanga ukuthi bakuthola ekusebenzisaneni kwakho. Ngemuva kwalokho bazophenduka baguqule imicabango yabo ibe ngamacala… futhi okuwukuphela kwendlela ongabonisa ngayo ukuthi bayiphutha ngezenzo, njengokunqamula ubuhlobo nabangane abathile, noma ukungabe usaya endaweni othanda ukuya kuyo.
Ungase ucabange ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kukhombisa ukuthi bakuthanda kangakanani, kodwa empeleni nje ukuthi banokwesaba ukushiywa, futhi bazokwenza noma yini edingekayo ukuze bavikele futhi bagcine lokho abakubona “njengokwabo.”
Lokho kungaba njalo wena .
3. Okhohlisa
Lolu hlobo lomuntu ludla kulabo abanokuzethemba okuphansi, njengoba bazi ukuthi bangamsonga lowo muntu ngomunwe wabo ngokukhululeka okulula. Bayoheha omunye umuntu, bakhulise ukuzidela kwabo, babenze bazizwe bethandwa ngokuphelele… bese behoxisa ukunakwa nothando njengoba kudingeka ukuze balawule omunye ngendlela abona kufaneleke ngayo.
Umlingani wabo (noma umngane wabo) uzobe efisa ukunakwa lokho, bazozizwa benciphile ngenxa yokungabi bikho kwayo, futhi bazokwenza noma yini edingekayo ukuze bayithole - ngisho nokulimaza kwabo.
Bangase bagcine ezimweni ezibenza babe lusizi ngoba nje sebengumlutha wokuqiniswa okuhle abakutholile kozakwethu / umngane / omunye, ukuthola ukuzethemba kwabo kulokho kunakwa, futhi besaba ukuthi kubi kangakanani bazozwa uma behamba.
4. Umphenyi
Kungenzeka wake wahlangana nalo muntu phambilini, kungaba ebudlelwaneni noma emsebenzini. Lolu hlobo lugcina isikhundla salo sokuphatha (noma igunya) ngokukuphonsa imibuzo ngemibuzo eminingi lapho uzama ukuziqinisa.
Bangadonsela kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ukuphikisana nanoma iyiphi impikiswano eniyenzayo, bakucele ukuthi uvikele ukuma kwakho, bese behlasela noma yini oyishoyo bese behlisela phansi ipulatifomu yakho baze bakukhathale futhi bakuphoqe ukuthi uhlehle.
Ngamafuphi, baziphatha njengabaphenyi bamaGestapo, bakukhonkotha imibuzo, baklolodle izimpendulo zakho, bakudicilele phansi, futhi bakubeke ekuzivikeleni… uze ekugcineni uvume ukuthi yebo, baqinisile, futhi bayaxolisa ngokufuna ukusho noma yini.
Isifundo esifundile.
5. Abazidabukisayo, Abangenakuzisiza Isisulu
Uzozifaka ebuhlungwini nasosizini lwabo ukuze abanye babazwele futhi benze konke okusemandleni abo ukuthi ubuhlungu buphele. Kungenzeka ukuthi babe nobuntwana obuhlukumezayo noma umcimbi oguqula impilo owabalimaza, kepha bafunda ukuthi ukungabi nasizi nokuhlupheka = ukubumbana nokuxabana, futhi bakuthandile.
Babekuthanda kakhulu kangangokuba benqaba ukufunda nokukhula kusuka kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, futhi esikhundleni salokho bakhetha ukuzicwilisa ebuhlungwini babo. Ngokwenza njalo, bangagwema ukuziphendulela nganoma yiziphi izenzo ezingezinhle noma ezilimazayo kubo: bamane nje balinyazwe kangangokuba abakwazi ukukusiza, akunjalo?
Uma umuntu abamlimazile egcina ethukuthele noma ecasukile, lapho-ke babonwa njengo entula uzwela nozwela: ungamthukuthelela kanjani umuntu olimaza kakhulu, ngaso sonke isikhathi? Ungumuntu onjani owesabekayo?
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Ukuhamba Umugqa Omuhle Phakathi Kokuthonya Nokukhohlisa
- AbakwaLimi AbakwaNarcissist Basebenzisa Ukuphatha Nokuhlukumeza Abahlukunyeziwe
- AmaMaski ayisi-6 amaNarcissist angagqoka (nokuthi ungawabeka kanjani)
- Izimpawu Eziyisithupha Zakho Uyisisulu Sokuxhashazwa
- Ungabhekana Kanjani Ne-Control Freak Ekuphileni Kwakho
- Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukulawula Kubudlelwano
6. Umnyama
Lokhu kungenye yezinhlobo ezideleleke kakhulu zokulawula abantu, njengoba indlela yabo yokukhohlisa ingalimaza impilo yonke yomuntu. Isibonelo salolu hlobo kungaba ngumuntu ogcina izithombe ezisondelene nesithandwa sakhe azithumele zona, futhi ezisongele ngokuzenza zibe sesidlangalaleni ngaphandle kokuthi uzakwethu ahambisane nalokho akufunayo.
“Uma uzama ukwehlukana nami, ngizothumela izithombe zakho ezinqunu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana,” noma “uma ungenzi into engu-X engiyifunayo, ngizothumela izikhulu zesikrini sakho sayo yonke imibhalo esabekayo ongithumelele yona ngaye. ”
Kuyizenzo ezesabekayo, ezisolayo ezenzeka kaningi kakhulu kunalokho ongase ucabange. Kuhloselwe ukwethusa nokuhlazisa umuntu ukuba azithobe, umkhohlisi enamandla onke, ngoba isisulu sakhe sinovalo lokuthi empeleni bazofeza izethembiso zabo.
u-eric johnson jessica simpson umyeni
7. Umhambi Onecala Lokuthula
Ngokuphikisana ne-Interrogator, lolu hlobo lomuntu luzokumisa futhi likunikeze ukungathuli noma kunini lapho ungenzi khona abakufunayo. Bazosuka kuwe uma uzama ukukhuluma nabo, ngeke baphendule imibuzo yakho, noma uma bengahlali nawe, bazoyiziba izingcingo zakho, imibhalo, nama-imeyili akho. Bazokugcina ubambe ongezansi, uzibuze ukuthi kanti kwenzenjani ukuze bakubeke esimweni sokungazethembi.
Lolu uhlobo olwesabekayo lokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo, futhi kunciphisa umuntu ukuzizwa ungelutho nokungabonakali. Kuyinto ukululaza ubuntu , futhi unciphisa abanye benze izinto esikhundleni sabantu abafanelwe inhlonipho nenhlonipho eyisisekelo.
Isisulu salokhu kuziphatha kuzogcina ngokwenza noma yini nakho konke okusemandleni abo ukuze nje kwamukelwe yilowo ongabanaki, futhi uzodlulela ngalé ukugwema ukuhlangabezana nalolo hlobo lokuhlukumezeka futhi.
8. Umgadli Wenyama
Kulesi simo, umuntu olawulayo uzosebenzisa udlame lwasemzimbeni (noma usongo olubonakalayo lapho) ukuthola abakufunayo kwabanye. Uma bade kakhulu noma beqinile, bangahle bathwale abalingani babo noma abasebenzi ngendlela esongelayo, bafakazele ukuthi bangu- 'alpha' futhi kufanele balalelwe. Uma kungukuhlanganyela kwezothando, empeleni bangaphendukela ekuhlukumezeni ngokomzimba njengokuthatha izingalo noma izihlakala ngesikhathi sokuxoxa, noma ngisho nokushaya noma ukushaya isibhakela.
Lokhu akusibo ubudlelwano obungathuthuka ngaphandle kokwelashwa okubalulekile, futhi kaningi kunalokho, kungcono nje / kulula ukuzama ukuzikhipha esimweni esibi kangaka.
Kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi zonke lezi zindlela zokulawula zivela emthonjeni: ukuthi abantu abalimazayo bavame ukugcina belimaza abanye. Lokho akusona isaba salolu hlobo lokuziphatha, kodwa incazelo. Kuyasiza ukwazi ukubona ukuthi abantu bathatha izinyathelo besuka ezindaweni zobuhlungu nokulimala, kepha futhi badinga ukuphendula ngezenzo zabo. Ekugcineni, sonke sinesibopho sezimpilo zethu, futhi lokho kubandakanya ukufaka inhlalakahle yethu kuqala, nokusuka ebudlelwaneni obusilimazayo.
