Sisho ukuthini uma sithi sithanda umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela? Abantu abaningi cabanga bayazi kusho ukuthini uthando olungenamibandela , kodwa-ke lapho bebuzwa ukuthi bayichaze, bagcina bekunikeza impendulo engeyona into ngaphandle kothando olungenamibandela.
Abantu bavame ukuthi, 'Yilapho uthanda umuntu noma ngabe kunjani.'
ngikhathele ukuba omunye wesifazane
Cha. Lokho akulona uthando olungenamibandela, lokho ukufela ukholo okusondele ekuhlukunyezweni. Lokho ukulahlekelwa ukuzihlonipha. Yilokho isidingo . Yilokho ukukhathazeka ngokweqile okungenampilo . Azikho kulezi zinto ezakha uthando olungenamibandela.
Ngicabanga ukuthi yilapho iphutha lenziwa khona: abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi 'akunamibandela' kusho ukuthi noma yini iyahamba, nokuthi ubophezelekile kulowo muntu, ebubini nasebubini, noma ngabe bakuphatha kanjani, noma ukuthi babaphatha kanjani abanye.
Lokho kusho ukuthi ubathanda kakhulu, uzimisele ukushalazela amaphutha abo.
Akuzona lezo zinto.
Leyo yiHollywood, uhlobo lwothando olungenamibandela. Kusinika umbono osontekile futhi kuphazamisa imibono yethu yokuthi singathanda kanjani ngokungenamibandela. Impilo akuyona ihlaya lezothando, futhi izinkinga zethu ngeke zixazululwe kahle emizuzwini engu-90.
Ngakho-ke, uma iHollywood ikwenza iphutha, luyini uthando olungenamibandela ngaleso sikhathi?
Uthando olungenamibandela luthando olunikezwa mahhala ngaphandle kwesibopho noma okulindelwe. Uthando olunikezwa ngaphandle kokufuna, noma ulindele ukubuyiselwa okuthile.
Yilokho kuphela.
Ukuthanda ngokungenamibandela akuvumeli ukuthi uhlukunyezwe noma uphathwe kabi, noma ukhathazeke ngothile egameni ‘lothando.’ Lokho empeleni kuwubugovu. Kepha linda… ukungazideli kungaba kanjani nobugovu, ubuza ?!
umngcwabi no-kane vs umndeni we-wyatt
Okwamanje lapho ushiya ukuzimela kwakho, inhlalakahle yakho, kanye nobuyena, akusekho ngabo, ngothando ngaphandle kokulindela noma isibopho, kumayelana nawe. Kuba nguwe ozama ukusindisa umuntu, noma ngakolunye uhlangothi, uzijezisa ngokuhlala nomuntu okuhlukumeza.
'Ukonga umuntu' kuvame ukuqoqa uzwela nokunakwa kwabanye, kepha ngemuva kwesikhashana, uqala ukucasukela lowo muntu ozizwa ukweleta ngazo zonke izinto ezinhle ozenzile.
Futhi awukhululekile ekunamathiselweni kulezi zimo ngoba lokho kuzokukhulula ekuzibophezeleni nasekulindeleni nasezibophezelweni okuyizisekelo zalobu budlelwano obuyingozi.
Uzolahlekelwa amandla akho okubanga isandla esiphezulu futhi usebenzise icala njengesikhali. Lolu akulona uthando olungenamibandela lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi yomfel 'ukholo ekuzuzisayo ekugcineni (noma ngabe kunzima ngenkathi ukuyo) ngoba usebenzisa lowo muntu ukuzenza ubukeke umuhle, noma njengendlela yokuzishaya isifuba.
Phinda emva kwami: Ungazisusa esimweni esinobuthi bese uthanda umuntu ngokungenamibandela. Lokho ukuthanda ngempela umuntu ngaphandle kwemibandela futhi akanakunanyathiselwa. Luhlobo lothando olunempilo, nolumsulwa.
Sikulungele ukunikela futhi sithathe ingxenye ngayinye yezimpilo zethu. Sinezintambo ezinzima ukulindela abantu ukuthi benze okuthile ngokubuyisela, uma kungenjalo sizizwa sikhohlisiwe futhi sinomuzwa wokuthi 'simunye,' noma soniwe. Kusukela ebuncaneni bethu, sifundiswa ukuthi kumele sibuyise isenzo ngasinye ukuze singaziboni sibukeka kabi noma sinemikhuba emibi.
Sifundiswa futhi ukuthi akukho lutho empilweni oluzelwa mahhala. Konke kunenani, kufaka phakathi uthando. Akumangalisi-ke ukuthi, iningi labantu alazi ukuthi kubukeka kanjani ukuthanda ngokungenamibandela ngaphandle kokunamathiselwe.
uzomtshela kanjani ukuthi akasakuthandi
Uthando olungenamibandela ngaphandle kokunamathiselwe lubukeka kanjena:
1. Ukuthanda Ngokwethembeka
Ngikubona ngokugcwele. Ngikubona njengomuntu ophelele, okhona manje, ohlukile. Awuqedi kimi, sobabili siphelele futhi sihlangane ngenhlonipho nothando. Ngiyakubona okuhle kuwe, kodwa futhi ngibona amaphutha akho nemiphetho emibi ngamehlo avuleke kakhulu, futhi ngiyakwamukela ngaphandle kokwahlulela noma ukusolwa. Ngiyabona ukuthi, njengami, ungumuntu futhi nakanjani uzokwenza amaphutha, futhi Ngiyakwamukela lokho njengengxenye yokuthi ungubani .
Uthando olungenamibandela luthembekile. Akusho ukuthi wamukela konke abakwenzayo, noma abakwenzayo kuwe. Kusho ukuthi unezingxoxo ezingagunci futhi ezivulekile, futhi imingcele , ngenkathi uqhubeka ubathanda ngenxa yalokho abayikho. Uma ukuziphatha kwabo kukulimaza, ungazisusa bese uqhubeka ubathanda futhi ubasekele lapho usendaweni ephephile ukwenza njalo.
Uthando olungenamibandela alulona uthando olungenamingcele - uthando olungenamibandela luhlonipha futhi luhlonipha imingcele futhi luvumela umuntu ngamunye ukuba abe ngokuphelele.
Uma usebudlelwaneni, futhi izitatimende ezingenhla zikwenza uzizwe u-icky, noma ufuna ukuphuma egumbini umemeza, udinga ukuphinda ubuyekeze lobo budlelwano. Uma uhlala nomuntu kuphela ngoba bakwenzela u-X, Y, no-Z, awubathandi ngokungenamibandela futhi ukhululekile kokunamathiselwe.
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2. Ukuzithanda
Qaphela ukuthi akukho ndawo kuleyo ncazelo yothando olungenamibandela lapho ithi ukuhlala nomlingani okuhlukumezayo, noma ukwamukela ukuphathwa kabi nokwenza sengathi akwenzeki, ngoba umuntu othanda ngaphandle kwemibandela, naye uzithanda ngokungenamibandela.
ngubani u-ludacris oshadile
Azilahlekile, futhi azidingi omunye umuntu ukuthi 'aziqedele' (enye i-trope yaseHollywood ekopishwayo futhi inamathiselwe ebudlelwaneni bempilo yangempela nemiphumela eyinhlekelele).
Lapho usuphelile, ungamnika kanjani umuntu lokho ongakwazi ngisho ukuzinika yena? Abantu abathanda ngokungenamibandela bangena kubo bonke ubuhlobo ngokuqonda ukuthi basebenzelana nezidalwa ezingaphelele, njengabo, bese besuka lapho.
Bayazithanda yize kukhona izigaxa nokuqhuma, kanye nokuhlukumezeka kwabo, futhi bayazihlonipha. Njengoba bezithanda futhi bezihlonipha, banamandla okunikela ngothando ngaphandle kokulindela noma isibopho esivela kwabanye, ngoba abadingi umuntu ozobenza bazizwe bephelele.
3. Ukuba sengozini
Asibona abangenakunqotshwa, izidalwa ezinganekwane ezingenayo imizwa. Singabantu, futhi ingxenye yobuntu bethu iza nobungozi. Ukusondelana kwangempela nothando olungenamibandela lungatholakala kuphela ngokwethembeka nangokuba sengozini. Ukuthanda ngokungenamibandela futhi ngaphandle kokunamathiselwe kusivumela ukuthi sikhumule imaski umphakathi osiphoqa ukuba siyigqoke nsuku zonke.
Sifundiswa ukuthi kufanele sizethule ngokuhlukile futhi sizivumele kuphela ukuthi sibe ngokoqobo ngemuva kokuphepha kweminyango evaliwe. Lapho othile esithanda ngokungenamibandela, bayasikhulula ekugqokeni leso buso futhi basivumele ukuthi sibe yinguqulo yangempela yethu.
Uma uthanda ngokungenamibandela futhi ungenakho okunamathiselwe, uwena uqobo, ngokuphelele. Awunikeli ngenguqulo yakho ehlungiwe ukujabulisa noma ngubani. Uyabavumela bakubone njengoba unjalo, futhi vumela ukuthi babone ubuthakathaka bakho .
4. Ukwabelana Ngothando
Ukuthanda ngokungenamibandela futhi ngaphandle kokunamathiselwe nakho kusikhulula thina nabathandekayo bethu ekwesabeni ukuba sodwa. Sivunyelwe ukuba nesikhathi sethu, futhi sabelane nabanye ngesikhathi sethu namandla. Asizizwa sinesidingo sokulawula yonke into eyenziwa umuntu ukuze avikele ukungazethembi nokukhathazeka kwethu.
Ukwesaba akulona uthando. Ukwesaba kuphambene nothando. Lizenza uthando, kepha luyichitha ngomona, nangokuncane. 'Uma ungahlali ekhaya kusihlwa, futhi ubona abangane bakho, awungithandi ngempela,' ukukhohlisa, hhayi uthando. Ukulawula umuntu ukwehlisa imizwa yakho yokungafaneleki, noma isithukuthezi akulona uthando olungenamibandela, ngoba kudala icala, isibopho, futhi ekugcineni nentukuthelo.
Ukuthanda umuntu ngokungenamibandela futhi ungenakho okunamathiselwe kusho ukuthi uyabavumela ukuthi babe nempilo ngaphandle kweyakho, ukuveza ezinye izingxenye zabo, hhayi kuwe kuphela, kepha nakwabanye. Lapho sithanda ngokungenamibandela, sivikelekile othandweni lwabo ngathi, nasothandweni lwethu ngabo. Lezi zici ezine ziyizisekelo zothando ngendlela enempilo, eyakhayo nenengqondo.
