Ingabe uyasola phakathi kwabantu abanobuhle ngokweqile?
Ingabe uyaqiniseka ukuthi kunokuningi okuhlangabezana nalokho okubonwayo?
Ungahle ube neqiniso…
Kusukela ebuncaneni bethu, iningi lethu ligcwala umyalezo wokuthi sidinga ukuba nobuntu kwabanye abantu. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kuyinto enhle, njengoba ikhuthaza izingane ukuthi zingabi nonya futhi zibe mnene, zibe nozwelo, futhi ziphane, kepha futhi kungazala umthwalo omningi wokuziphatha okungenampilo.
Kwesinye isikhathi ubuhle bungasuswa kakhulu, futhi uma bukhona, kunezizathu eziningi ezinhle zokukuxwaya:
1. Abantu Abagcizelela Ukuthi Bahle Ngokuvamile Bakhona
'Ngingumuntu omuhle ngempela!' = inkomba esheshayo yokuthi usuke ugijime ungabe usabheka emuva.
Ngokuyinhloko, abantu abavamile ukuba yilokho abathi bayikho, futhi labo abagcina ukuthi bayindlela ethile ngokuvamile bakhokha ngokweqile lokho abayikho.
Intokazi akumele imemezele ukuthi iyini ungamtshela nje ngokuziphatha kwayo. U-Same uya kumuntu omuhle izenzo zabo zizokhuluma kabanzi ngokuthi bangobani, ngakho-ke akudingeki ukuthi baziphinde ngawo wonke amathuba.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi umuntu omuhle ngokweqile wazi kahle ukuthi basebenza ngobuqili, kepha bazama ngamandla ukufakazela okunye. Umuntu onjalo onobuso obumomothekayo kwesinye isikhathi angavela abe ubhayela we-bunny ofihliwe.
Noma, bebengaba…
2. UMartyr Complex
Eyaziwa nangokuthi inkolo yomfel 'ukholo / isisulu, lesi yisifo esithinta abantu abaningi kunokuba ungabona, futhi siyibhomu lesikhathi esikhathazayo.
Abantu abanezakhiwo zabafel 'ukholo badela injabulo yabo, impilo yabo kanye nempilo yabo ukuze banakekele abanye, ngenkathi bezala intukuthelo nentukuthelo ngaphansi kobuso.
Bagcina i-façade yokuzidela nobugqila, bebeka izidingo zabanye abantu ngaphambi kwezabo, futhi bafuna ukugcwala ukwazisa nokudumisa ngokuziphatha kwabo.
Uma bengayitholi le miklomelo, bayathola nolaka bese uphendukela ekubeni necala-ukukhubekisa labo ababazungezile.
2016 wwe ukhokha ngokubukwa ngakunye
Abantu abane- “white knight” syndrome bavame ukudonswa abafel 'ukholo ngoba baba ne- ukuxhomekeka omunye komunye.
I-knight ibona ukuhlupheka komfel 'ukholo futhi izama ngamandla ukubasindisa kubo, kuyilapho umfel' ukholo ebambelela egobolondweni labo lokuzivikela lobugqila bokuhlukumezeka futhi eshaya emgodini ngokuzama ukubenza bashintshe izimo zabo.
Ekugcineni, kugcina sekuwubudlelwano obunobuthi kubo bobabili futhi kuzoya esihogweni kusenesikhathi, noma kuzodonswa esimweni eside, esinesihluku esilahliwe eduze okungenakwenzeka ukuthi bazikhiphe kuso.
3. Bangakwazi Ukulawula
Ukuba mnandi ngokweqile futhi kuyindlela yokukhohlisa ukuzama ukuthola okufunayo ngokukhombisa uthando olungadingekile.
Noma ngabe kuyintombazane efanelana nengqondo ekucindezelekeni abanye besifazane bayayifaka ukuze bancenge umnumzane odlulayo ukuba asize, noma ukufihla amanye amadoda athanda ukugqoka afaka ukuheha umlingani, ukuba 'muhle kakhulu' kungaba uphawu lwezisusa ezingezinhle.
Lokhu kuziphatha, noma kungeyona ifomu elibi, kungabonakala ngisho nasezinganeni. Kukangaki lapho ingane kufanele imomotheka kakhulu futhi igweme ukudlala phezulu emzamweni wokuxoxisana ngokwelashwa okuvela kumuntu omdala? Heck, abazali baze bakhuthaze le ndlela yokuziphatha ngokuxoxisana nezingane zabo futhi bazinikeze imivuzo ngokuba balungile.
Akumangalisi-ke ukuthi ezinye izingane zikhula zibe ngabantu abadala abacabanga ukuthi bangakuthola abakufunayo kubantu ngokubeka ukumamatheka kwabo okuhle. Zishintsha ngempumelelo ubuhle bazo bezinye izinzuzo kunokuba zihle ngenxa yazo.
4. Abazivumeli Ukuba Babe Ngabantu Abaphelele
Ubuhle obuhlala njalo buyi-façade, hhayi okuhle. Uyabona, into emayelana ne- ungumuntu ovuthiwe ngukuthi sonke siza nomuzwa omkhulu wemizwelo osukela emseni nasebubeleni kuya ekufuthekeni nasekuphelelweni yithemba.
Lapho umuntu emuhle ngaso sonke isikhathi, ungaqiniseka ukuthi unazo zonke izinhlobo zeminye imizwa ehamba ngaphansi komhlaba.
Kodwa-ke banesidingo sokuthi babhekwe njengabahle, futhi abanomusa, nabamnandi kangangokuthi abavumi ukuzwa imizwa abangayithatha njenge 'engemihle,' ingasaphathwa eyokuyiveza.
Lokho akunempilo nganoma yikuphi ukunweba komcabango.
Uma uzibandakanya nomuntu onjengalokhu, maningi amathuba okuthi kuzodingeka ubhekane nokuqhuma kwemizwelo ngesikhathi esithile esikhathini esizayo esibonakalayo. Yonke leyo mizwa ecindezelweyo yakha eminyakeni edlule, imvamisa ibangela izingqinamba ukukhathazeka nokudangala, noma okubi kakhulu.
Ngolunye usuku oluhle, konke lokho kuzokwakha kuze kufike ezingeni lapho bengasenakuqukatha khona, futhi bazogcina benokuphazamiseka kwemizwa noma isiqephu sokuphazamiseka kwengqondo, futhi lokho kungumcibisholo wesihogo kuwo wonke umuntu othintekayo ukugeza.
5. Noma, Bakudla Izidakamizwa
Ungakuchithi lokhu ngokuqondile: empeleni kunengqondo kakhulu. Uma umuntu omnandi we-uber omaziyo engaphatheki kabi, ekhungathekile, noma ethukuthele noma ngabe yiziphi izimo, kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuthi uyazelapha kuze kube seqophelweni le-catatonia.
Impela, bangaba semithini kadokotela yohlobo oluthile, kepha noma lezo zivumela abantu ukuthi bezwe ingcebo nobubanzi bemizwelo ezingeni elithile.
Labo abagxishwe unomphela ngokumomotheka kwe-beatific futhi abangaxakekile ngisho nasezimo ezimbi kakhulu bangahle bavuthelwe ebusweni babo. Amaphilisi ezinhlungu e-opioid angadala lo mphumela kubantu, kepha kanjalo nezinye izidakamizwa, nezomthetho nezingekho emthethweni ngokufanayo.
Kunoma ikuphi, ngesinye isimo lapho lokho kuthiwe ubuhle buyinto ephuma eceleni kuneqiniso, futhi kungagcina kulimaze bobabili abamomothekayo, nalabo abasemibuthanweni yabo esheshayo.
6. Banjalo Kuyacasula ngempela
Abantu abahle bayisicefe njengamazambane abhucuziwe namasangweji wesinkwa esimhlophe. Yebo, kulungile, umuntu omuhle angabekezeleleka isikhathi esifushane, kepha ubumnandi obungapheli be-saccharine bungacasula kakhulu. Ukulunywa okukodwa kwekhekhe likashokoledi kathathu kulungile, kepha lonke ucezu lwalo (ingasaphathwa eyengxenye yesango) luzokukhathaza.
Kuyathokoziswa lapho abantu bebahle kithi, kodwa futhi sidinga ukuphonswa inselelo. Sidinga abantu abazoklolodela futhi babe ama-bastard ahlambalazayo futhi babe nokufana kobuntu obedlula lokho kwe-custard ngokweqile enoshukela.
Thembeka: ungumuntu onjani ongakhetha ukuhlala naye ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku? Umuntu ongathatha naye ipipi ekuhlushweni mutual (good-natured)? Noma umuntu ozokukhuza ngokufunga ngoba akuyona into enhle ukuyenza?
Ughhhhh.
7.I-Niceness Ayithembekile
Umuntu omuhle ngokweqile ngokungangabazeki ungumqambimanga. Bona baqamba amanga kubo mayelana nokuthi bazizwa kanjani ngempela ngaphakathi, futhi baqamba amanga kwabanye abantu ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi abacasuli muntu, noma ngabe lokho kuyingozi.
Bakhathazeke kakhulu ngokucasula abanye noma ukubonwa njengabangenamusa kangangokuba bazothembeka ngokuphelele… futhi akekho noyedwa okufunayo lokho. Akunjalo Empeleni.
Nasi isibonelo: ingane (ake siyibize ngokuthi uBilly) isebenza kucezu lobuciko, bese iphendukela kuyise ukuze ifake. Ubaba umncoma ngokumncoma nokumkhuthaza ngokuthi kuhle kanjani, nokuthi uBilly umqhubela nini ukugxeka okwakhayo ngoba uzizwa sengathi idinga ukwenziwa ngcono, udaddy othandekayo uyamhleka usulu futhi emtshela ukuthi kuphelele.
UBilly wabe esephelelwa yithemba kuyise ngoba wazi kahle ukuthi udaddykins uqabula umhlane wakhe hhayi ukwethembeka naye… futhi lapho ukwethembana sekwephulwe kanjalo, kunzima impela ukuvuselela.
Kubudlelwano babantu abadala, ukukhetha okuhle kunokwethembeka kungaletha hhayi kuphela ukungathembani, kepha futhi nentukuthelo.
Ukungqubuzana akunakugwemeka empilweni, kepha ngokujwayelekile sifuna (futhi sidinge) ukukwazi ukwethemba abangane bethu abaseduze nabalingani bethu bezothando, ngakho-ke lapho sikwazi patently lokho siqanjelwa amanga ukuvikela imizwa yethu nje, lokho kungaqeda ukwethembana ezingeni eliyisisekelo. Phakade.
Noma ngabe yiziphi izizathu zalokho, iningi labantu ngokwemvelo liyazi ukuthi ubuhle obedlulele akuyona into engokwemvelo okufanele ibe nayo. Abantu abahle bakuyo yonke indawo, kepha kunesilinganiso esislayidayo lapho umuntu angahamba khona. Iya kude kakhulu ngasekupheleni okuhle futhi ibhalansi ilahlekile. Ngakho-ke qaphela noma ngubani obonakala emuhle ngokwedlulele ekuziphatheni kwabo okuvamile.
