Udinga Bangaki Abangane Empilweni Yakho?

Yimiphi I-Movie Okufanele Uyibone?
 

Bangaki abangane beqiniso umuntu ojwayelekile anabo empilweni yakhe yonke?



Bangaki obadingayo ngasikhathi esithile ukuze ujabule?

Ayikho impendulo eqondile kuleyo mibuzo.



Mhlawumbe uzwile ukuthi ngu-150 (leyo yinombolo kaDunbar esizoxoxa ngayo maduzane), noma elinye inani…

… Kepha lokhu akuyona impendulo egculisayo.

Iqiniso ukuthi: inani labangane OBADINGAYO njengamanje futhi kuyo yonke impilo yakho inani labangani enanele ngabo.

Yini ‘eyanele’ kuwe ingaba mbalwa kakhulu noma ibe ningi kakhulu komunye umuntu.

Futhi lelo nani 'elanele' kungenzeka liguquke kuye ngokuthi ukulesiphi isigaba sempilo okuso.

Uma ukhathazekile ngokuthi awunabo abangane abaningi njengoba kufanele, zibuze ukuthi ngabe lokhu ukukhathazeka kwangempela okususelwa kukho isizungu noma ngoba ukholwa - noma utsheliwe - ukuthi udinga okuningi.

Abantu bangaphila izimpilo ezijabulisayo nezinokuthula ngombuthano omncane kakhulu wangaphakathi.

Futhi abantu bangaphila impilo engajabulisi naphezu kwendilinga enkulu kakhulu.

Ngakho-ke ake sijule ngokujulile ukuthola ukuthi bangaki abangane abayinombolo ekufanele.

Inombolo kaDunbar

Ngemuva kokufunda ngosayizi wobuchopho bomuntu ngeminyaka yama-1990s, isazi semvelaphi yabantu uDkt Robin Dunbar uphethe ngokuthi kunomkhawulo enanini labantu esingakwazi ukugcina ubudlelwano obuhle nomphakathi.

Leyo nombolo ingu-148, noma ivame ukuhlanganiswa ibe ngu-150 ukuze kube lula.

Igama eliyisihluthulelo lapha lithi okunengqondo.

Ungawazi amagama nobuso babantu abaningi kakhulu kunalokhu, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzoba nokuxhumana kwangempela nabaningi babo.

Kepha uDunbar useqhubekile nokuhlola ukuthi ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kunamthelela muni endleleni esingahlukanisa ngayo lokho kuxhumana okungu-150.

Usikisela ukuthi kungenzeka ungabi nabantu abedlula aba-5 kusendlalelo sakho esibucayi - indawo yakho yangaphakathi yobungani.

Ngokuya ngokuthi ukuphi empilweni yakho, lolu ungqimba kungenzeka lwenziwe ngabazali, izingane zakini, uzakwethu, noma abangani abakhulu.

Ungahle ube nokuxhumana okwengeziwe okusondele kwabangu-10 obabona njalo nokuthi obathandayo. Lokhu kungaba abangane abahle noma amalungu omndeni.

Isendlalelo esilandelayo sinabantu abengeziwe abangama-35 ojwayele ukuxhumana nabo futhi ongacabanga ukumemela umcimbi okhethekile njengosuku lwakho lokuzalwa.

Bese kuba khona abantu abayi-100 obazi kahle, kepha ongase ungaboni kakhulu.

UDunbar nozakwabo baphenye ukunemba kwalezi zinombolo besebenzisa izindlela ezahlukahlukene futhi kubukeka beqoqekile ngokwesilinganiso.

izinkondlo ngabathandekayo asebadlula emhlabeni

Kepha nansi umkhawulo kuNombolo kaDunbar: ilunge kangakanani inombolo emaphakathi lapho umuntu onjengawe ebuza ukuthi udinga abangane abangaki?

Ngakho-ke ingabe kukhona ukubaluleka kulezi zingqimba?

Yebo.

Okubaluleke ngempela yilezo zingqimba ezimbili zokuqala: i-sanctum yakho yangaphakathi nabangane bakho osondelene nabo.

Laba bantu abayi-15 yibo abazokunikeza ngengcebo engokomzwelo oyidingayo ngempela empilweni.

Ngokwezindlela ezahlukahlukene nasezimeni ezahlukahlukene, laba bantu bazokulethela umuzwa omkhulu wokuxhuma namandla amakhulu enjabulo.

Laba ngabantu oyobheka kubo ukuze uthole ukusekelwa nenduduzo lapho uyidinga.

Yibo labo abasho okuthile kuwe.

Kepha njengoba sesizohlola, le nombolo ingahle ibe ngaphezu kwalokho abanye abantu abakudingayo futhi ibe mbalwa kunalokho abanye abangathanda.

Izici Zobuntu Bakho

Abanye abantu bathanda ukuthula nokuthula.

Ezinye zikhula kahle phakathi kokuxokozela nokuphithizela.

Abanye abantu banelisekile ukuhlala nje ube.

Abanye badinga ukwenza okuthile njalo.

Abanye abantu bathanda ngasikhathi sinye nalabo abasondelene nabo.

Abanye bakhetha ukuhlanganisa wonke umuntu embuthanweni owodwa omkhulu.

Yize kungukuncishiswa ngokweqile, singabahlukanisa laba bantu njengoba izethulo futhi extroverts.

Futhi inani lokuxhuma lezi zinhlobo ezimbili zobuntu ezidinga ku-Dunbar Layers ngayinye kungenzeka lihluke.

Ama-introverts angajabula ngokuphelele ngomuntu oyedwa noma ababili endaweni yabo ephezulu, ebaluleke kakhulu.

Ama-extroverts angahle athande amahlanu noma ayisithupha.

Futhi kuzendlalelo ezithile ezilandelayo, izethulo zinganeliseka ngabangane abambalwa kunalokho okushiwo nguDunbar, kuyilapho ama-extroverts angaze alule leyo mikhawulo.

Engxenyeni ebanzi, lapho iDunbar ibona khona abantu abangaba yikhulu ngokwesilinganiso, kungahle kuncike kakhulu kulokho ukuzilibazisa noma izinkanuko umuntu anazo.

Isingeniso sakho se-stereotypical singahle sithande ukuchitha isikhathi saso sifunda noma senza ingadi, ngokwesibonelo, ngenkathi ama-extroverts angaba yingxenye yeqembu lezemidlalo eliletha ngokuzenzakalela lonke uxhumano.

Ngokufanayo, ukukhetha umsebenzi kwezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zobuntu kungathonya ukuthi imibuthano yabo iba mikhulu kangakanani.

I-extrovert ingabheka isikhundla phakathi kweqembu elikhulu, mhlawumbe ekuthengiseni noma ekumaketheni lapho bechitha khona isikhathi esiningi bexhumana nozakwabo kanye namakhasimende.

Ama-introverts angakhetha ukusebenza njengonkontileka ozimele, azi amaklayenti abo, yebo, kepha ahlanganyele nabantu abambalwa ngokujwayelekile.

Ukuthi uyisingenisi yini noma uyisazi esingeyona ukuphela kwesici sobuntu esingase sidlale maqondana nokuthi imibuthano yakho yezenhlalo ifinyelela kububanzi obungakanani.

Umqondo ovulekile , charisma, uzwela, ukwethembeka… lezi ngezinye zezici ezimbalwa ezizothinta ukuthi bangaki abantu obaheha empilweni yakho.

Ngisho indlela okhuluma ngayo ngawe kanye nekhono lakho loku qhubeka nengxoxo izobamba iqhaza ekutheni bangaki abantu abagcina engxenyeni ngayinye yezindlela ezahlukahlukene zokusondelana ngokomzwelo.

Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):

Ukuphi Empilweni Yakho?

Bangaki abangane obadingayo noma obafunayo empilweni yakho abazoshintsha kuye ngokuthi ukulesiphi isigaba sempilo okuso.

Izingane ezincane zinomama, ubaba, mhlawumbe nabafowabo noma odadewabo embuthanweni wabo wangaphakathi.

Ngenkathi benemibuthano eminye yemindeni yabo ebanzi nezinye izingane enkulisa, lezi zincane futhi nezinga lokusondelana ngokomzwelo lingaphansi kunabantu abadala.

Njengoba izingane zikhula, umbuthano wazo wangaphakathi ungahle ufake umngani omkhulu, kuyilapho ezinye izingqimba zanda njengoba zihlangana nabantu abaningi esikoleni nangezinto zokuzilibazisa.

Isendlalelo sabo sesibili sabantu abayishumi singashintsha njalo futhi babeka inani elikhulu kakhulu kulaba bantu kunangesikhathi besebancane.

Ukuba mdala osemncane mhlawumbe lapho sinemibuthano yezenhlalo enkulu kunazo zonke empilweni yethu (okungenani, ngamagama anengqondo).

Abangane besikole esidala noma basekolishi kungenzeka ukuthi babe yingxenye ebalulekile yempilo, kuyilapho osebenza nabo bejoyina iphathi njengoba ungena emsebenzini.

Lapho-ke inqubo ehamba kancane yokuthena umphakathi iqala.

Njengoba isikhathi sakho samahhala sincipha, ukuxhumana okuthile okukhona sekuba buthaka futhi labo bantu bangahle basuke ku-Dunbar Layer eyodwa baye kwesiphansi.

Mhlawumbe ugxile kakhulu emsebenzini.

Mhlawumbe uhlala ku ubuhlobo obuzinikele ngisho nokuqala umndeni.

Anginabo abangane abaseduze

Ungaphinde uthole ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho nabazali bakho obabuthaka ngesikhathi sobusha nasebusheni.

Uyaqhela ngaphandle kwabangane, abantu bayasuka, impilo iyenzeka.

Imvamisa, ngesikhathi ofinyelela eminyakeni yakho yokuhlangana maphakathi, inani labantu abasezindlini zakho eziphansi ze-Dunbar lingancipha.

Unabangane abaseduze abambalwa, bambalwa abangane abahle, kanye nabantu obajwayele abambalwa.

Futhi ngesikhathi ufinyelela ebudaleni bakho, kunethuba eliqinile lokuthi ngabe ususukile kubangane abaningi eminyakeni edlule.

Futhi nokho, yize isibalo sethu sabangane sincipha njengoba sikhula, abantu abadala bajabule kakhulu kunabalingani babo abasebasha.

Njengoba le nkulumo ye-TED iyachaza:

Njengoba sikhula […] Sitshala imali ezingxenyeni zokuphila ezibaluleke kakhulu ngokomzwelo, futhi impilo iba ngcono, ngakho-ke sijabula kakhulu usuku nosuku.

Ngenkathi le nkulumo ye-TED ingasho ngokuqondile, isiphetho esisodwa ongasithola ukuthi njengoba sikhula, sitshala imali eningi ebuhlotsheni obubalulekile kithi.

Kakade, yini engaba ebaluleke kakhulu ngokomzwelo kunabantu esibathandayo nesibakhathalelayo?

Lokhu kusibuyisela kulezo zingqimba ezimbili ezibucayi zikaDunbar.

Lawa maqembu abantu, okungabantu ababaluleke kakhulu ezimpilweni zethu lapho siseyizingane, aphinde akhule ngokubaluleka.

Isifundo sethu sonke ukuthi kufanele sinake kakhulu inani elincane lobudlelwano obusondele kunenani elikhulu lobudlelwano obungajwayelekile.

Ukuqhubekeka Okuqhubekayo Kubangani

Njengoba sesivele sikukhombisile, abantu uqobo engxenyeni ngayinye yobungane bakho bangashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ngisho nokwakheka kwe-sanctum yakho yangaphakathi kungashintsha, ikakhulukazi njengoba sikhula futhi silahlekelwe izizukulwane ezafika ngaphambi kwethu.

Futhi ngokuya phansi udabula izingqimba, kulapho ushintsho luningi ongalubona.

Lokhu kubuya ukuthi ukuzigaba zini zokuphila okuso nokuthi yiziphi izimo zakho eziqondile.

Mhlawumbe ususa ibanga elide kude nabangane bakho bamanje. Lokhu nakanjani kwenza buthakathaka ukuxhumana okuthile ngenkathi kukuphoqa ukuthi wenze okusha.

Laba bangani abasha bangaqala ngoqweqwe olungezansi lokusondelana ngokomzwelo futhi bakhuphuke njengoba bekhula ngokubaluleka empilweni yakho.

Noma mhlawumbe unezingane futhi wakhe ukuxhumana okusha nabanye omama nobaba.

Ngenxa yesibopho owabelane ngaso onaso phezu kwezingane zakho kanye nesikhathi eningasichitha ndawonye, ​​laba bantu ngokushesha bangaba ngabantu abasemqoka empilweni yakho.

Umsebenzi omusha usho abangane abasha bomsebenzi, futhi kaningi, ukushintshwa kwalabo abasuka kumqashi wakho wangaphambilini kusuka ezingeni eliphakeme kuya kwezingaphansi.

Ngakho-ke, uyabona, kunokuguquguquka okuqhubekayo kwezidingo zakho zobungani.

Umphumela Wezokuxhumana Komphakathi

Izwe ledijithali liguqule indlela esiqala ngayo ukuchaza umngani.

Kusuka ku-Twitter kuye ku-Facebook kuya ku-Instagram nakunoma yini ezayo, manje sesiqoqa “abangane” noma “abalandeli” abasha ngezinga lezimboni.

Lokhu kudala izinkinga ezimbili maqondana nokuthi bangaki abangane esicabanga ukuthi kufanele sibe nabo:

1. Siyabona ukuthi bangaki abangane abanye abantu abanabo. Uma sinabangane abambalwa, kungasenza sizizwe singathandwa.

2. Sibheka ukuthi bangaki abangane esinabo nokuthi bangaki kulabo bantu esichitha noma yisiphi isikhathi esibalulekile nabo futhi siyakhathazeka ukuthi abanye abantu bayabamukela ubungane bethu emhlabeni wedijithali, kepha abafuni ukuba ngabangane bethu emhlabeni wangempela .

Imithombo yezokuxhumana ikhohlisa izingqondo zethu ukuthi ikholelwe ukuthi sisondele kulaba bantu kunalokho esiyikho ngempela.

Sibona izibuyekezo zabo nezithombe futhi lokhu kusinika iwindi ezimpilweni zabo.

Sicabanga ukuthi siyabazi.

Kepha asikwenzi. Akunjalo Empeleni.

Abantu abaningi esixhumene nabo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana bangamagama nje nobuso kithi.

Kungenzeka ukuthi bebengakaze babe ngaphezu kwalokho, kunjalo. Kepha kungenzeka ukuthi bake bahlala kwesinye sezingqimba ezibaluleke kakhulu zobungane bethu.

Okufanele sikukhumbule ukuthi sithola iningi lenhlalakahle yethu engokomzwelo phakathi kweqembu elincane phezulu kwephiramidi lethu labangane.

Futhi ukuthi iningi labangane bethu ababonakalayo bakude kakhulu ngokusondelana okungokomzwelo, kangangokuthi akunakubhekwa njengabangane nhlobo.

Ngakho-ke akumele sivumele ukugxila kwethu kuzule kude kakhulu futhi sikholwe ukuthi laba bantu banganikeza uhlobo lokuxhumana kwabantu esikulangazelelayo.

Ukubuyela Ekusondeleni Ngokomzwelo

Kule ndatshana, siphikise ukuthi iNombolo kaDunbar ngokwesilinganiso ayinalo inani elincane kumuntu ngamunye.

Lapho esivumelene khona noDunbar kunombono wokuthi abantu ezimpilweni zethu banezigaba ezahlukene zokubaluleka.

Lezi zingqimba zonke zisuselwe ekusondeleni okungokomzwelo: sixhuma kangakanani ukuzwa kothile osezingeni lomzwelo.

Futhi lokhu kusibuyisela esitatimendeni sethu sokuqala mayelana nokuthi inani elifanele labangane liyinombolo ozizwa unelisekile ngayo.

Udinga abangane abaningi njengoba kudingeka ukuze ufeze izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo.

Kwabanye, lokhu kusho idlanzana labantu ababalulekile nokuhlakazeka kwabangane abahle.

Abanye bangathola ukuthi badinga abangane abaningi kakhulu ukubanikeza izidingo zabo ezahlukahlukene ezingokomzwelo.

Ingxenye yayo izokwehlela ekutheni uzizwa usondele kangakanani kunoma yimuphi umuntu onikezwe.

Uma wena nomlingani wakho ningabangane abakhulu, ungathululela isifuba kubo kubo futhi bakunikeze ngothando oluningi ozizwa uludinga, ungahle ususe abanye abantu usuke ezingxenyeni zakho eziphezulu uye kwezingezansi.

Yingakho abanye abantu ‘belahleka’ uma bethandana. Bathola izidingo eziningi ezingokomzwelo ezihlangatshezwa ngumlingani wabo kangangokuba baye bancike kakhulu kubangani noma emindenini yabo ukuhlangabezana nalezo zidingo ezifanayo.

Kepha uma, ngaphandle kokubathanda kakhulu, wena nomlingani wakho anisondelene ngokomzwelo ngendlela ongathanda ngayo, ungahle ufune okunye ukuxhumana ukuze unikeze leso sidingo.

Ngakho-ke, ukushayela iphuzu ekhaya okokugcina…

Akekho ongakutshela ukuthi udinga abangane abangaki.

Akufanele uzizwe ubophezelekile ukwenza inani eliqondile labangane.

Kuphela kufanele ugxile ekwakheni inombolo elungile yokuxhuma emazingeni ehlukene okusondelana ngokomzwelo ukuze uzizwe wanelisekile futhi ugcwalisekile.

wwe 2017 ukhokhe ngokubukwa ngakunye

Izendlalelo zakho zingaqukatha abantu abangu-2, 6, 15, no-20.

Noma ingaqukatha abantu abangu-5, 12, 40, no-110.

Kokubili kuqinisile, futhi akulona iphutha, bamele abantu abahlukene.

Thola ukwakheka kwakho okuhlukile kwezendlalelo zobungani - nidinga abangane abangaki.

Yeka ukukhathazeka ngokugcwalisa i-quota ethile.