Udidekile kancane. Futhi kunjalo ngokufanelekile.
Umlingani wakho noma umuntu oke wathandana naye ukutshele ukuthi bayakuthanda, kodwa akunjalo Ngisemathandweni nawe.
ungabaleka kanjani uqale impilo entsha
Okwempilo yakho, awukwazi ukuthola ukuthi bazama ukukutshela ini.
Zisho ukuthini ngempela?
Uyini umehluko phakathi kokuthanda umuntu nokuthandana nothile, vele?
Futhi zingasukaphi izinto phakathi kwakho zisuke lapha? Yini okulandelayo ebudlelwaneni bakho? Ingabe ukuphela kwalokhu, noma ikhona indlela yokubuyela emuva?
Ake sithathe ukungena ngokujulile kulokho okungahle kusho wena nobudlelwano bakho nalo muntu.
Uyini umehluko phakathi kokuthanda umuntu nokuba sothandweni naye?
Njengabantu, sinamandla amangalisayo othando, kuzo zonke izinhlaka zegama.
Singabathanda abantu ngazo zonke izindlela, futhi uthando esiluzwayo ngomndeni nabangane lungaba namandla amakhulu, noma lube ngaphezu kwalokho, kunothando lwezithandani.
Kepha uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano bezothando, kukhona impela umugqa phakathi kokuthanda umuntu nokuba sothandweni naye, yize lowo mugqa kungaba nzima ukuwudweba.
Abantu bavame ukuzizwa sengathi abasathandani lapho belahlekelwa yisifiso sokuchitha isikhathi nomlingani wabo, futhi baphelelwe izinto abazokhuluma ngazo. Ukuzwa sengathi uthandana nothile kuvame ukuxhumaniswa kakhulu nocansi.
Uma othile ethi abathandani nomlingani wakhe kodwa usabathanda, lokho mhlawumbe kusho ukuthi inhlansi engabonakalakali iphelile.
Umuntu othile angazizwa ngale ndlela ngemuva kokudamba kokuqala kothando ngokungenakugwenywa futhi izinto ziqala ukuhlala futhi zibe zimbi kakhulu futhi zizibophezele kepha zingathandisi kangako.
Abantu abaningi balwela ngempela ukuzivumelanisa nokuzizwa bedumazekile ukuthi leso sikhathi esivusa amadlingozi, esikhuthaza ama-hormone sesiphelile.
Kodwa abanye abantu bangahle bathathe isinqumo sokuthi abasathandani kakhulu ezansi nomgwaqo, uma sebenobudlelwano obuzinikele, besikhathi eside.
Lokho akusho ukuthi abasabakhathaleli ngokujulile abalingani babo, kodwa ukuthi i-glue eyengeziwe ebopha ubudlelwano bezothando ndawonye ngokusondele kangaka ayifikanga.
Ngabe ngaso sonke isikhathi kusho ukuphela kobudlelwano?
Impendulo emfushane lapha inguyebo mhlawumbe, kepha hhayi impela.
Umongo ozungeze lokhu nezinhloso zakho zombili yilokho okubalulekile.
Uma bekutshelile ukuthi basakuthanda futhi bafuna ukuthi ubudlelwano busebenze, kodwa abasathandani futhi bafuna ukuthi lokho kuguquke, ngakho-ke akusikho ukuphela kwakho nobabili.
Unomsebenzi omkhulu onzima ngaphambi kwakho ukubuya kulokhu, kodwa lobu budlelwano bungasinda futhi buphumelele.
Abanye abantu, ngokusemthethweni ngokusemthethweni, banomuzwa wokuthi ukuthanda 'umuntu nje' kwanele kuyisisekelo sobudlelwano obuqinile.
Uma bekhethe ukuchitha impilo yabo nothile, khona-ke bangahle bangakhathazeki ngeqiniso lokuthi abasathandani nabo ngothando. Ngemuva kwakho konke, njengoba isikhathi sihamba, kungokwemvelo ukuthi uthando lwethu ngomuntu lushintshe, lukhule futhi lube mncane.
Kepha uma lokho kungenele kuwe futhi nobabili nisazimisele ebudlelwaneni, lapho-ke ngokuzikhandla okukhulu nezikhwama zokuqonda, ungaqala ukuvuselela izinto phakathi kwenu.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokhu kungaba yindlela yomlingani wakho yokuqeda izinto phakathi kwakho.
Kungenzeka ukuthi banqume ukuthi uthando abaluzwa ngawe manje alunamandla anele okusekela ubudlelwano bakho nokuthi lokhu kuguqulwa kwemizwa yabo kusho ukuthi kuphelile phakathi kwenu.
Lokhu mhlawumbe akusona isinqumo abafike kuso kalula. Uma besakukhathalela ngokujulile, kungenzeka ukuthi bebelokhu belwa nemizwa yabo isikhathi eside futhi ekugcineni bakwamukele ukuthi izinto sezishintshile.
Cishe kunzima kubo ukusho njengoba kwenzeka kuwe ukuthi uzwe, ngakho-ke zama ukukhumbula ukuthi, noma ngabe ulimele kangakanani lokhu kuzokubangela.
Ungawuthola kanjani umbhalo ongezansi ecaleni lakho?
Ezimweni ezinjengalezi, asikho isidingo sokuhlala ukhathazekile uzama ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa yalokho abakushilo kuwe.
Ungakhuluma ngakho nabangani bakho abakhulu konke okuthandayo futhi wenze konke iGoogling oyithandayo, kepha ngeke uthole impendulo ecacile.
Kufanele ubuze.
Uma umlingani wakho ekushiye uzizwa udidekile futhi ungaqiniseki ukuthi umi kuphi, kuzomele ubahlalise phansi ukuze ubambe enye inkulumo futhi usheshe ususe izinto.
Ungahle ungayitholi impendulo oyilindelayo, kodwa okungenani ngeke unamathele kulolu hlobo oluyinqaba lwe-limbo ebuhlungu.
Ungaya kanjani phambili?
Ukuthi ngabe umlingani wakho ufisa ukuzama ukuqala phansi ebudlelwaneni bakho , noma ngabe banqume ukuqeda izinto, nazi izeluleko zokukugcina uqhubekela phambili.
1. Hlola imizwa yakho.
Noma yini ocabanga ukuthi omunye umuntu angazama ukukutshela yona, isinyathelo sokuqala lapha ukuzama ukuhlola imizwa yakho.
Zama ukungavumeli abakushilo izinto zombala, kodwa thembeka ngokuphelele kuwe.
Uzizwa kanjani ngempela ngalo muntu?
Ungakwazi ukubeka isandla sakho enhliziyweni yakho futhi ufunge ukuthi usabathanda ngokuphelele?
indlela yokubhekana nokuba yisahluleki
Noma ingabe luhlobo oluthile lothando oluzizwayo manje?
Ngabe uzimisele ukufaka emsebenzini ukuthi lobu budlelwano buzodinga ukuchuma, noma ngabe uyazi ngaphakathi ekujuleni ukuthi abunakusasa?
Zinike isikhathi sokuhlola ngempela i-monologue yakho yangaphakathi bese uthola ukuthi iyini imizwa yakho.
Kungaleso sikhathi kuphela lapho ungabheka khona imizwa nezinhloso zabo bese unquma ukuthi ukuthutha kwakho okulandelayo kufanele kube yini.
2. Cabanga ngalokho okudinga ukuguquka, bese uzibophezela ekwenzeni lokho kwenzeke.
Uma bekubeke kwacaca ukuthi bona ungenzi ufuna lokhu kube ukuphela kobuhlobo, khona-ke nobabili ninomsebenzi omningi okufanele niwenze.
Lalela ukuthi bathini ngezinkinga ezinobudlelwano bakho nokuthi izinto zidinga ukushintsha kanjani. Uma uzimisele ngokwenza lo msebenzi, kuzodingeka ulalele ngaphandle kokuzazisa futhi wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuthi ungathathi izinto uqobo.
Cabanga ngezindawo lapho ubudlelwano bungahlangani khona eyakho idinga futhi uthembeke kubo ngalokho futhi.
Nobabili kudingeka nizinikele ekusebenzeni ebudlelwaneni benu nasekuxhumaneni futhi njengoba niqhubekela phambili. Ngeke kube lula, kepha kungahle kukufanele.
Ungahle uthole ukuthi udinga ukwesekwa ngobungcweti ukuze ubuyisele ubudlelwano bakho esimweni, futhi alikho neze ihlazo lokuya kokwelulekwa kwabashadikazi.
Kuyindlela yokukhomba wena nomlingani wakho ukuthi uzimisele ngempela ngokwenza lo msebenzi nokuba nombono wangaphandle kungenza umehluko.
3. Yamukela isimo.
Uma ubonile ukuthi lena yindlela yabo yokwehlukana nawe, ngiyaxolisa impela.
Ukuhlukana kuhlala kunzima ngendlela emangalisayo, ikakhulukazi uma ngabe ubungeke uhlukane ukube kuya ngawe.
Enye yezinto ezibalulekile esimweni esinjengalesi ukulenga ezintweni ezinhle kukho konke.
Yize kungaba buhlungu ukuhamba ngezindlela zakho ezihlukene, bambelela eqinisweni lokuthi lusekhona uthando oluningi phakathi kwakho.
Bayakuthanda futhi bakufunela okuhle, njengoba nje ubenzela. Anisalungelani nje kwezothando.
Ngakho-ke, ungavumeli lokhu kwehlukana kungcolise izinkumbulo zakho zesikhathi sakho sindawonye. Ukuthi kufinyelele esiphethweni, akusho ukuthi uchithe isikhathi sakho noma ukuthi ubudlelwano behlulekile kuqhuba nje inkambo.
Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele nibe abangane. Lapho othile esebenzisa lo mugqa ukuqeda ubudlelwano, bavame ukuba nesifiso sokungalahlekelwa omunye umuntu, futhi babambelele ethembeni lokushintsha ubudlelwano ngobungani.
Uma ulungile kulokho, kuhle, kepha ungazizwa unesibopho sokugcina ubungani nabo.
Uma ubusathandana nabo futhi sebehlukene nawe lapho-ke ukwakha ubungane kuzoba nzima, okungenani ekuqaleni, futhi ungahle uzizwe sengathi udinga ikhefu elihlanzekile.
Noma yini oyenzayo, vele ube nomusa kuwe, futhi wazi ukuthi ikusasa eligcwele zonke izinhlobo zothando likulindile.
Ngabe awunasiqiniseko sokuthi kusho ukuthini umlingani wakho uma bethi bayakuthanda kepha abathandani nawe? Xoxa ku-inthanethi kuchwepheshe wezobudlelwano ovela ku-Relationship Hero ongakusiza ukuthola izinto. Kalula.
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