Ukuqonda Izigaba Zosizi Futhi Ungakudabukisa Kanjani Ukulahlekelwa Kwakho

Okuqukethwe

• Isigaba 1: Isingeniso Sosizi
• • 1.1: Izinhlobo Ezihlukene Zosizi
• Isigaba 2: Amamodeli Wosizi
• • 2.1: Izigaba Ezinhlanu Zosizi nguDkt Elisabeth Kübler-Ross noDavid Kessler
  • 2.2: Imisebenzi Emine Yokulila eyenziwe nguDkt. J. William Worden
  • 2.3: Izigaba ezine zosizi zikaDkt John Bowlby noDkt Colin Murray Parkes
  • 2.4: Izinqubo Zokubuyiswa ZikaRando eziyisithupha nguDkt Therese Rando
  • 2.5: Imodeli Yokucubungula Okubili kaMargaret Stoebe noHenk Schut
  • 2.6: Model of Loss / Adaptation nguMardi Horowitz, MD
• Isigaba 3: Izeluleko Zokuzinakekela Zokudabuka
• Isigaba 4: Izinganekwane Ezivamile Mayelana Nosizi
• Isigaba 5: Ekuvalweni…

Inothi lomhleli: lo mhlahlandlela akuyona incwadi yemiyalo yosizi. Lokhu akuyona 'Ukudabuka Ngezidumbu,' futhi akuyona indlela yesinyathelo ngesinyathelo okufanele uyilandele.

Yize ikhuluma ngamamodeli ahlukahlukene achaza izigaba zosizi umuntu angahle abhekane nazo, lezi zinikezwa ukukusiza ubone ukuthi uzizwa kanjani futhi uqonde ukuthi kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuzizwa ngale ndlela.

Ungahle uqonde okunye kwalokhu okubhalwe ngezansi, noma kungenzeka. Kulungile nganoma iyiphi indlela.

Sebenzisa lo mhlahlandlela njengesiqalo lapho ungahlola khona imicabango yakho, imizwa yakho, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kosizi.

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Usizi luwumuzwa wemvelo onamandla, uvame ukusinda, abantu abahlangabezana nawo ngesikhathi sokulahlekelwa okukhulu.

Kungabangelwa ukushona kothandekayo, ushintsho olukhulu ezimweni zokuphila komuntu, ukuxilongwa kwezokwelapha okunzima noma okungapheli, noma okunye ukulahlekelwa okungazelelwe noma okukhulu.

Umuntu angazithola ezwa ukudabuka okukhulu noma ukuba ndikindiki ngokuphelele lapho ezama ukuqhubeka nempilo yakhe yansuku zonke, kepha ahluleke ngenxa yesisindo semizwa abhekene nayo.

Usizi lwehlukile ngoba kokubili lujule kakhulu ngenkathi luyisipiliyoni somhlaba wonke. Wonke umuntu uyakuthola ngezinga elithile, yize umfutho nesilinganiso kungahluka ngokuya ngokuthi yini edale usizi nesimo somzwelo sosizi.

Kubaluleke ngendlela emangalisayo ukuthi ungazami ukufaka imizwa yakho noma othandekayo wakho ebhokisini elincane elicocekile ukuzama ukwenza kube lula ukuliqonda. Abantu nemizwa yabo iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu lokho, futhi uzophumelela kuphela ekuhlukaniseni nasekuthukutheleni labo abasosizini.

Umhlahlandlela olandelayo wenzelwe ukukunikeza ukubuka konke ngezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zosizi, okwenzekile kanye nezimpawu eziseduze nosizi, amamodeli wokudabuka, amanye amathiphu namasu okubhekana nakho, kanye nokwenza iphutha lezinkolelo ezivamile zosizi.

Ake siqale ngezinhlobo ezahlukene zosizi umuntu angabhekana nazo.

Usizi lungabonakala ngezindlela ezihlukile kuye ngomuntu. Kungathinta umuntu ngokomzimba, ngokwenhlalo, ngokuziphatha, noma ngokuqonda ngokushintsha isimilo namandla abo okusebenza.

Usizi olujwayelekile - Usizi olujwayelekile akufanele lubhekwe njengoluncane nganoma iyiphi indlela. Yigama nje elikhethwe ukukhombisa uhlobo losizi umuntu abengalindela ukuthi umuntu adlule kulo uma ebhekene nokulahlekelwa.

Umuntu obhekene nosizi olujwayelekile uzocubungula imizwa yakhe futhi aqonde ekwamukeleni ukulahleka, ngamandla amakhulu, ngenkathi esakwazi ukugcina impilo yakhe.

Alukho usizi okufanele lubhekwe njengolungabalulekile noma oluncane kunolunye. Ubuhlungu bokulahlekelwa bungokoqobo futhi buphawulekile.

Usizi olulindelwe - Umuntu angahle abhekane nosizi olulindelwe lapho ehlangabezana nokuxilongwa okulimazayo kwakhe noma kothandekayo.

Ukudideka nokuba necala kuvame ukuhambisana nosizi olulindelekile ngoba umuntu usaphila.

Luhlobo lokulilela amacebo abekade ebekiwe noma abelindelekile nemizwa ezungeze ukulahleka kwalowo mkhondo wesikhathi eside nenhlalakahle yomuntu.

Lolu uhlobo losizi oluhlotshaniswa nezinto ezifana nokuxilongwa kokugula okungapheli.

Usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi - Usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi lwaziwa nangokuthi usizi olubuhlungu noma olude.

Umuntu angahle abhekane nosizi oluyinkimbinkimbi uma esesimweni esingeziwe sosizi esonakalisa amandla abo okuziphatha impilo yakhe njalo.

Bangabonisa izindlela zokuziphatha ezibonakala zingahlobene nemizwa, njengokuzizwa unecala elijulile, ukuzilimaza, imicabango yokuzibulala noma enobudlova, izinguquko ezinqala zendlela yokuphila, noma ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa.

Lokhu kungavela kumuntu ogwema usizi lwakhe futhi bengazivumeli ukuba bezwe imizwa ukuthi badinga ukuzwa ukuze balulame.

Usizi olungasetshenzisiwe - Usizi olungavunyelwe amalungelo ludida kakhulu futhi lungahle luqondane nokulahlekelwa ngumuntu noma okuthile abantu abangase bangakuhlanganisi njalo nosizi, njengomngane ongathandani naye, osebenza naye, owayekade eshade naye, noma izilwane ezifuywayo.

Kungafaka futhi uhlobo lokwehla okuhambisana nokugula okungalapheki othandekayo, njengokukhubazeka noma ukuwohloka komqondo.

Lolu hlobo losizi ludalwa ukuthi abanye abantu abalubeki ukubaluleka okufanele kosizi lomuntu, babatshele ukuthi akukubi kangako noma kufanele baluncele nje babhekane nalo.

Usizi olungapheli - Umuntu obhekene nosizi olungapheli angabonisa izimpawu ezihlotshaniswa nokudangala okukhulu, njengokuzizwa okuqhubekayo kokuphelelwa yithemba, ukuba ndikindiki nokudabuka.

Umuntu okhathazekile angagwema ngokuqinile izimo ezibakhumbuza ngokulahleka kwabo, angakholelwa ukuthi ukulahleka kwenzeke, noma abe nezisekelo eziyisisekelo zohlelo lwabo lwezinkolelo olubuzwa ngenxa yokulahleka.

Usizi olungapheli lungaphenduka ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa, ukuzilimaza, imicabango yokuzibulala, kanye nokudangala komtholampilo uma kushiywe kungalungiswa.

Usizi olwandayo - Usizi oluqongelelwayo lungenzeka uma umuntu ehlaselwa izinhlekelele eziningi esikhathini esifushane lapho bengenaso isikhathi esifanele sokudabukisa ngokufanele ukulahlekelwa ngakunye.

Usizi olufihliwe - Usizi lungabonakala ngezindlela ezi-atypical, njengezimpawu zomzimba noma ngaphandle kokuziphatha kwabalingiswa. Lokhu kwaziwa njengosizi olufihliwe. Umuntu ososizini kaningi akazi ukuthi izinguquko zihlobene nosizi lwakhe.

Usizi oluhlanekezelwe - Umuntu okhalayo angazizwa enecala elibi noma intukuthelo ehlobene nokulahlekelwa okuholela ekushintsheni kokuziphatha, ubutha, ukuzilimaza nokuziphatha okuyingozi , ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, noma ukuzilimaza.

Usizi olweqile - Lolu hlobo losizi luqinisa lokho okungathathwa njengezimpendulo ezijwayelekile zosizi. Ingakhula ngamandla njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka.

Umuntu angakhombisa ukuzilimaza, ukuthambekela kokuzibulala, enye indlela yokuziphatha eyingozi, ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, amaphupho amabi, nokwesaba okweqile. Lolu hlobo losizi olukhulisiwe lungadala nokuthi kuvele izifo zengqondo ezifihliwe.

Usizi oluvimbelwe - Abantu abaningi abazizwa bekhululekile ukukhombisa usizi lwabo, ngakho-ke bayaluthula bazithulele.

Lokhu, kukodwa nje, akuyona into embi inqobo nje uma besazinika isikhathi sokudabuka ngendlela yabo.

Kuba yinto embi lapho umuntu engazivumeli nhlobo ukuba lusizi, okungenza usizi lwabo lube lubi kakhulu futhi kube nzima ukubhekana nalo njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka.

Usizi oluhlangene - Usizi oluhlangene lolo lweqembu, njengokuthi lapho inhlekelele ihlasela umphakathi noma kufe umuntu othile.

Usizi olufinyeziwe - Umuntu ohlangabezana nokulahlekelwa angathola okuthile okugcwalisa isikhala esasishiywe yilokho kulahlekelwa, okwenza ukuthi abhekane nosizi olufushanisiwe.

Lokhu kungenzeka futhi lapho umuntu esebona ukwehla okuncane kothandekayo, azi ukuthi ukuphela kuyeza, futhi wabhekana nosizi olulindelekile. Usizi abazohlangabezana nalo ngemuva kokudlula kothandekayo lusizi olufingqiwe.

Usizi olungekho - Usizi olungekhoyo lwenzeka lapho othile engavumi ukulahlekelwa futhi engakhombisi zimpawu zosizi. Lokhu kungenzeka ngenxa yokwethuka noma ukuphika okujulile.

Ukulahlekelwa kwesibili - Ukulahleka kwesibili kungadala usizi kulowo osindile. Ukulahleka kwesibili yizinto ezilahleka ngokungaqondile ngenxa yenhlekelele.

Ukushona komuntu oshade naye kungasho ukulahlekelwa yimali, ukulahlekelwa yikhaya lakhe, ukulahlekelwa ubunikazi bakhe, nokulahlekelwa yinoma iziphi izinhlelo abashadayo ababenazo ngekusasa. Lokhu kulahlekelwa okungeziwe kaningi kudinga ukuthi kukhalelwe futhi.

Eminyakeni edlule, usizi luye lwafundwa ngabantu abaningi abazama ukuqonda konke okwenzekayo.

Lezo zifundo zinikeze umhlaba izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zosizi ezizama ukusebenza njengesiqondisi esijwayelekile semizwa nezinqubo ezihlobene.

Zonke izinhlobo zosizi zinenkinga efanayo eyisisekelo - ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuchaza ngokuncane ulwazi lomuntu ngokuhlukaniswa ngokwamakilinikhi nangamagama.

Wonke umuntu uhlangabezana nosizi ngokuhlukile. Wonke umuntu unemibono eyehlukene kulokho abona ukuthi usizi luyikho noma cha. Abanye abantu babheka okuhlangenwe nakho okungalungile ngobunzima obukhulu noma obuncane kunabanye.

Ngakho-ke, amamodeli angabhekwa njenge- umthetho jikelele wesithupha futhi akukho okunye.

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Lo mhlahlandlela uzofingqa kafushane amamodeli ahlukene ayisithupha osizi, konke okunobuhle namaphutha abo. Khumbula: ayikho imodeli eqondile esebenza kuwo wonke umuntu noma isimo.

Futhi, olunye ucwaningo nentuthuko ezifundweni ezihlobene nosizi nokushonelwa kubambe ukuthi abantu abaningi abalutholi usizi ngendlela ethinta kabi amandla abo okuqhuba impilo yabo, ngakho-ke ayikho imodeli ebafanele ngoba abadluli kunoma iziphi izigaba ngokubonakalayo indlela.

Imodeli kaKübler-Ross ayizange isebenze ekuqaleni kosizi ngokulahlekelwa. UDkt. Kübler-Ross wakha imodeli yokwenza umqondo wenqubo engokomzwelo yomuntu owamukela ukuthi bayafa, njengoba umsebenzi wakhe omningi wawubandakanya abagulela ukufa, futhi wethulwa kanjalo encwadini yakhe yango-1969, Ekufeni nasekufeni .

Kwaze kwaba ngemuva kwesikhathi eside lapho avuma khona ukuthi imodeli yakhe nayo ingasebenza ekutheni abantu babhekana kanjani nosizi nosizi.

Imodeli ithole ukubambeka okujwayelekile futhi ekugcineni yaba yindawo yokusebenza kwengqondo ye-pop.

Imodeli kaKübler-Ross ibeka ukuthi umuntu obhekene nosizi uzodlula ezigabeni ezinhlanu, kungabi ngokulandelana okuthile - ukuphika, intukuthelo, ukuxoxisana, ukudangala, ukwamukelwa.

Ukuphika

Ukwenqaba ngokuvamile kubhekwa njengesigaba sokuqala kwezinhlanu zosizi. Kungathatha isimo sokwethuka nokungavumi ukwamukelwa nganoma iluphi usizi okungenzeka ukuthi sibhekene nalo. Umuntu angazizwa endikindiki, sengathi angakwazi ukuqhubeka, noma angafuni ukuqhubeka.

Kucatshangwa ukuthi ukwenqaba kusiza ukucisha ukuhlaselwa kokuqala kobuhlungu okuhambisana nokulahlekelwa, ukuze ingqondo yamukele ukulahlekelwa futhi isebenze ngemizwa ehambisanayo ngejubane layo.

Intukuthelo

Intukuthelo inikeza ihange elibalulekile nokwakheka esikhathini esiyisiphithiphithi.

Umthelela wokuqala wokulahlekelwa ungashiya umuntu ezizwe engenanjongo futhi engenasisekelo. Umuntu ososizini angathola ukuthi intukuthelo yakhe iqondiswe kunoma iyiphi inombolo yezindlela ezihlukile, futhi lokho kulungile.

Imvamisa kuyingxenye nje yenqubo yokwamukela ukulahlekelwa okungalindelekile. Kubalulekile ukuzivumela ngizwe ulaka lwabo , ngoba ekugcineni izodlulela kokunye ukucubungula imizwa.

Ukuxoxisana

Umuntu angazithola esexoxisana ngokuzama ukwenza umqondo ngokulahlekelwa kwakhe, ukuzama ukugcina impilo yakhe njengoba bekwazi phambilini.

Lokhu kungahle kube ngesimo sokuzama ukuxoxisana ngamandla aphezulu uma umuntu enokuthambekela okungokomoya (“Nkulunkulu, ngicela ugcine ingane yami futhi ngizo…”) noma nami uqobo (“Ngizokwenza konke ukuze ngibe unkosikazi ongcono uma umlingani wakho uzovele adlule kulokhu. ”)

Ukuxoxisana kuyimpendulo engokwemvelo yomuntu osebenzela ukuvumelana ne ushintsho empilweni yabo .

Ukucindezeleka

Ukudabuka okujule njengokucindezeleka kungazwakala ngokulahlekelwa. Lokhu kudabuka akuyona inkomba yokugula kwengqondo, kodwa kungenye impendulo engokwemvelo ekulahlekelweni okukhulu.

Umuntu angahoxa, ngizizwe nginesizungu futhi ngikhishwe inyumbazane , futhi uzibuze ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini iphuzu lokuqhubeka.

Lolu hlobo lokudangala akuyona into ezolungiswa noma ilungiswe, yize impendulo kungaba ukuzama ukuyilungisa.

Ukuzivumela ukuthi ezwe ukudabuka kwabo, ukucindezeleka okujulile, kuzobavumela baqhubeke nohambo lwabo ekwamukelweni.

Ukwamukela

Ukwamukelwa kuvame ukudideka nokuzizwa ulungile ngokulahlekelwa. Iningi labantu alizizwa lilungile ngokulahlekelwa okukhulu.

Ukwamukelwa kukhulu lapho sifunda ukuthi sisebenze futhi siqhubekele phambili, noma ngabe kukhona imbobo eshiyekile empilweni yethu.

Kusivumela ukuthi sithathe izingcezu ezisele futhi sizithwale siye nazo esikhathini esizayo, siqhubekele endaweni lapho siqala khona ukuba nokuhle okuningi kunoku izinsuku ezimbi futhi.

Akusho ukuthi sikubuyisela esikulahlekile, kepha ukuthi siyazivumela ukuthi sakhe ukuxhumana okusha futhi siqhubeke nokuzwa impilo.

Ngenxa yokwamukelwa okuvamile kohlobo lukaKübler-Ross, abanye baye baphonsa amamodeli afanayo aguqula umsebenzi wokuqala kaDkt Kübler-Ross. Okudume kakhulu kulezi yiZigaba Eziyisikhombisa Zosizi, lapho umuntu ongaziwa engeze izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezengeziwe (ezivame ukuhluka kuye ngokuthi ubheke kumuphi umthombo).

Akubonakali ukuthi le modeli eguquliwe yavela kunoma yimuphi umuntu noma isikhungo esivunyelwe.

Umkhawulo wemodeli kaKübler-Ross ukuthi ubeka emuva lokho umuntu ososizini okungenzeka abhekane nakho, kepha akabheki ukuthi lowo muntu angabhekana kanjani nobuhlungu futhi aqhubeke nohambo lwabo lokuphulukisa.

UDkt. J. William Worden uphakamise ukuthi kunemisebenzi emine yokulila umuntu okufanele ayenze ukuze afinyelele ezingeni lokulingana nosizi lwakhe.

Le misebenzi emine ayihambelani, hhayi ukuthi ibophezeleke kunoma yimuphi umugqa wesikhathi, futhi ihambisana nokuzimela kuye ngezimo. Le misebenzi ngokuvamile isebenza ekufeni kothandekayo.

Umsebenzi Wokuqala - Yamukela iqiniso lokulahleka.

U-Worden wayekholelwa ukuthi ukwamukela iqiniso lokulahleka kuyisisekelo sakho konke ukuphulukiswa okuzayo.

Umuntu olwela ukwamukela iqiniso lokulahleka angahlanganyela emisebenzini eqinisekisa ukuthi ukulahleka kwenzeke ngempela.

Njengesibonelo, uma othandekayo eshonile, ukubuka isidumbu noma ukusiza ukuhlela umngcwabo kungasiza lowo muntu amukele ukuthi ukulahlekelwa kwenzeke.

Umsebenzi Wesibili - Cubungula usizi nobuhlungu bakho.

Ziningi izindlela ezingenamkhawulo ezikhona zokuthi umuntu akwazi ukucubungula usizi nobuhlungu bakhe.

Ayikho impendulo engalungile yangempela inqobo nje uma izenzo zomuntu zimsiza ukuthi azicubungule, futhi angasetshenziswa njengokubalekela iqiniso lakhe elisha.

Abanye abantu badinga nje khulumisanani , abanye badinga ukwelashwa okugxile kakhudlwana, abanye bangasebenzisa izenzo nemisebenzi ukusiza ukuzulazula nokubhekana nakho - njengokusebenza ngokuzithandela neqembu elihlobene nokuhlukumezeka kwabo.

Umsebenzi Wesithathu - Lungisa umhlaba ngaphandle kothandekayo kuwo.

Ukushona kothandekayo kuzoletha ushintsho empilweni yomuntu. Ukwamukela lezo zinguquko nokuphokophela phambili kungasiza lowo okhonze ukuthi amukele ukulahlekelwa.

Lokho kungasho ukwenza izinto ezinjengokushintsha kwezimo zokuhlala, ukubuyela emsebenzini, nokwenza izinhlelo ezintsha zesikhathi esizayo ngaphandle kothandekayo wabo.

Ukungabikho koshonile kungathinta umuntu ngezindlela eziningi, ezingalindelekile. Ngokushesha lapho beqala khona ukwenza lezo zinguquko, kuzoba lula ngabo ukuqala indlela yabo yokuphila entsha.

Umsebenzi Wesine - Ukuthola indlela yokugcina ukuxhumana nomuntu oshone ngenkathi uqala impilo yakho.

Isigaba sesine sibandakanya osindile ekutholeni indlela yokugcina ukuxhumana okuthile kothandekayo wakhe oshonile, ngenkathi ekwazi ukuqhubekela phambili nokuziphatha impilo yakhe.

Akukhona ngokukhohlwa noma ukudedelwa kothandekayo ongasekho, ukungabi nayo nje lokho ubuhlungu phambili naphakathi nendawo, ukuphatha impilo nenhlalakahle yalowo osindile

U-Worden ukugcizelele kakhulu ukuthi asikho isikhathi esibekiwe sokuthi umuntu asebenze ngale misebenzi emine. Abanye abantu bangazulazula ngokushesha, abanye kungathatha izinyanga noma iminyaka ukudlula kuzo.

Abantu babhekana nokulahleka ngezindlela eziningi ezihlukene namandla, ngakho-ke inketho engcono kakhulu ukuthi Iba nesineke lapho osindile ehamba indlela yabo.

Ukuqagela imodeli yezigaba ezinhlanu zaseKübler-Ross, imodeli yeziGaba ezine kaB Bowlby noParkes yayikhuthazwe kakhulu futhi yathathwa emsebenzini wokuphayona weB Bowlby kumfundiso yokunamathisela nezingane.

bukela ungaphefumuli mahhala

Intshisekelo kaDkt Bowlby yayisentsheni eyayinezinkinga nokuthi yiziphi izimo zomndeni ezakha ukukhula okunempilo nokungenampilo ezinganeni.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uthathe umsebenzi wakhe wokunamathisela kwi-imeyili futhi wawusebenzisa osizini nasekushonelweni, ethi usizi lwalungumphumela wemvelo wokwephulwa kokunamathiselwe kothando.

I-Bowlby ibizonikela kakhulu ngethiyori kanye nezigaba ezintathu, kuyilapho amaParke ekugcineni ezogudla konke okunye.

Isigaba Sokuqala - Ukushaqeka nokuba ndikindiki.

Kulesi sigaba, labo abasosizini banomuzwa wokuthi ukulahlekelwa akuyona into yangempela, nokuthi ukulahlekelwa akunakwenzeka ukwamukela. Umuntu angahlangabezana nezimpawu zomzimba okungenzeka noma ezingahlobene nosizi lwakhe.

Umuntu ososizini ongasebenzi kulesi sigaba uzohlangabezana nezimpawu ezifana nokudana okubavimbela ukuthi bathuthuke ngezigaba.

Isigaba Sesibili - Ukulangazelela nokusesha.

Lesi yisigaba lapho ososizini azi khona ngokulahlekelwa othandekayo wakhe futhi azobe efuna izindlela zokuvala leso sikhala. Kungenzeka ukuthi baqala ukubona ukuthi ikusasa labo lizobukeka lihluke kakhulu.

Umuntu udinga ukuqhubekela phambili kulesi sigaba ukuvumela indawo yokuthi kungenzeka ikusasa elisha nelihlukile likhule ngaphandle kobuhlungu bokulahlekelwa obulawula ngokuphelele ubukhona babo.

Isigaba Sesithathu - Ukuphelelwa yithemba nokungahleleki kahle.

Esigabeni sesithathu, abasosizini bakwamukele ukuthi impilo yabo isishintshile, nokuthi ikusasa abebelicabanga phambilini ngeke libe khona.

Umuntu angahle abhekane nentukuthelo, ukungabi nathemba, ukuphelelwa yithemba, ukukhathazeka, kanye nemibuzo njengoba behlola lokhu kuzaliseka.

Impilo ingazizwa sengathi ayisoze yathuthuka, ibe yinhle, noma izuze ngaphandle kothandekayo wabo oshonile. Le mizwa ingaqhubeka uma ingatholi indlela yokuhamba kulesi sigaba.

Isigaba sesine - Ukuhlela kabusha nokululama.

Ukukholwa empilweni nasenjabulweni kuqala ukubuya esigabeni sesine. Ukudabuka kungasungula amaphethini amasha empilweni, ebudlelwaneni obusha, ukuxhumana okusha, bese kuqala ukwakha kabusha.

Bangase babone ukuthi impilo isengaba neqiniso futhi ibe yinhle, ngisho noma belahlekelwe.

Isisindo somthwalo siba lula futhi yize ubuhlungu bungaze bunyamalale ngokuphelele, buyeka ukulawula imicabango nemizwa yomuntu.

Ama-theorist amaningi osizi, kuhlanganise noDkt. Kübler-Ross, athonywe kakhulu yindatshana ka-Bowlby yango-1961, Izinqubo zokulila , eyavela kuyi-International Journal of Psychoanalysis.

Ukuqonda izinqubo eziyisithupha zokululama zikaDkt. Rando, umuntu kufanele ajwayele ukuhlukaniswa okuthile kumatemu, izigaba zakhe ezintathu zokulila, nezinqubo eziyisithupha zokusebenzisa lezo zigaba.

UDkt. Rando uhlukanisa usizi nokulila. Usizi ukusabela okungazenzeli okungokomzwelo lapho uhlangabezana nokulahlekelwa. Ukulila kuyinqubo ejwayelekile, esebenzayo yokuxazulula usizi lomuntu kuze kufike ezingeni lokwamukelwa nendawo yokuhlala.

Wakukholwa lokho ukugwema, ukungqubuzana, nokuhlala yizigaba ezintathu zokulila umuntu okumele asebenze ngazo.

Izinqubo eziyisithupha zikaRando zokuLila zingena kulezo zigaba ezintathu futhi zivumela ososizini ukuthi afinyelele lapho eya khona ohambweni lwabo lokuphulukiswa, okusho ukuthi, lapho usizi lomuntu lungasenamandla futhi bengaqhuba impilo yabo ngendlela ezuzisayo, enenjongo.

Inqubo 1 - Ukuqaphela ukulahleka (Ukugwema)

Abasosizini kufanele baqale bavume futhi baqonde ukushona kothandekayo wabo.

Inqubo 2 - Ukuphendula ngokwahlukana (Ukubhekana)

Umuntu ososizini kufanele abe nemizwa ehambisana nokulahlekelwa, kufaka phakathi ukukhomba, ukuzwa, ukwamukela, kanye ukuveza leyo mizwa ngendlela enengqondo ngalabo abasosizini. Le nqubo ifaka phakathi nokusabela kunoma yikuphi ukulahlekelwa kwesibili okuhlobene nokulahlekelwa okuyinhloko.

Inqubo 3 - Khumbula futhi uphinde uthole amava (Ukubhekana)

Le nqubo ivumela abasosizini ukuthi babuyekeze futhi bangakhumbuli umufi kuphela, kepha basebenze nganoma yimiphi imizwa okungenzeka ibilokhu ihlala phakathi kwabo ngaphambi kokufa.

Inqubo 4 - Ukuyeka okunamathiselwe okudala (Ukubhekana)

Abadabukile kuzodingeka badedele okunamathiselwe kwabo empilweni abebeyihlelile nomufi abesekhona. Lokhu akusho ukuthi bayakhohlwa noma bashiye umufi, kodwa nje ukuthi badedele manje nekusasa abebekucabanga ngalo muntu.

Inqubo 5 - Ukulungisa (Indawo yokuhlala)

Inqubo yokulungiswa kabusha ivumela abasosizini ukuthi baqale ukuqhubekela phambili empilweni yabo entsha, kufaka phakathi endala ngokwakha ubudlelwane obuhlukile nomuntu oshonile, okubavumela ukuthi bathathe imibono emisha yomhlaba futhi bathole ubunikazi babo obusha.

Inqubo 6 - Ukutshala kabusha (Indawo yokuhlala)

Inqubo yokutshala kabusha ukuvusa usizi kungena empilweni yabo entsha, kutshalwa imali ebudlelwaneni nasemigomweni emisha.

UDkt Rando wayekholelwa ukuthi ukuqedela lezi zinqubo eziyisithupha ngokuqhubeka kwezinyanga noma zeminyaka kuzovumela abasosizini ukuthi baqhubekele phambili empilweni yabo.

Wakholelwa ngqo ukuthi kubalulekile ukuthi lowo ososizini aqonde ukuthi yini edale ukulahleka kwakhe ukuze bakwamukele. Lokho kungaba nzima kakhulu ngokufa okungenzeka kungenangqondo, njengokudlula ngokweqile noma ukuzibulala .

ingabe i-hulk hogan isaphila

I-Dual Process Model Yosizi incane ngokuthola indlela yokuzulazula, nokuningi ngokuqonda ukuthi umuntu uluthola kanjani futhi alucubungule kanjani usizi maqondana nokufa kothandekayo.

Imodeli ithi umuntu ososizini uzogibela phakathi kwezimpendulo ezigxile ekulahlekelweni nezimpendulo ezigxile ekubuyiselweni njengoba zisebenza ngenqubo yokwelashwa.

Izimpendulo eziqondiswe ekulahlekelweni yilokho abantu abacabanga ngakho lapho becabanga ngosizi. Kungabandakanya ukudabuka, ukukhala, ukungabi nalutho, ukucabanga ngothandekayo wakhe, kanye nesifiso sokuhoxa emhlabeni.

Izimpendulo eziqondiswe ekubuyiselweni kufaka phakathi ukuqala ukugcwalisa izikhala ezashiywa othandekayo oshonile. Lokho kungafaka izinto njengokufunda ukuphatha izimali, ukwenza imisebenzi ebalulekile nezindima lowo othandekayo azisebenzele ebudlelwaneni, ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha, nokuzwa izinto ezintsha.

Isici esibalulekile salesi simodeli ukuthi sibeka okulindelwe kokuvumela lowo okhalazayo ukuthi azulazule kule nqubo.

Yebo, kuzoba nezimpendulo ezijulile, ezigxile ekulahlekelweni lapho abangakuthola kunzima khona ukusebenza empilweni yabo yansuku zonke.

Kodwa-ke, bangathatha induduzo ngokwazi ukuthi kuyingxenye yenqubo, ukuthi kungumjikelezo, futhi ekugcineni bazobuyela emuva ekuphenduleni okugxile ekubuyiselweni.

Umuntu ososizini uzolandela umjikelezo emuva naphambili njengoba edabukile aze afike endaweni yokuphulukiswa.

I-Model of Loss / Adaptation kaMardi Horowitz, MD yadalelwa ukuchaza kangcono imizwa, amaphethini, kanye nenqubo yezigaba ezahlukahlukene zosizi.

Yize itholwa ngokuhlukile ngabantu, le modeli ingasiza ukusebenza njengesiqondisi jikelele salokho umuntu ososizini angabhekana nakho.

Isikhalo

Ukulahlekelwa othandekayo kungavusa ukukhala kokuqala komzwelo kophilayo. Ukukhala kungaba ngaphandle noma ngaphakathi.

Ukukhala kwangaphandle imvamisa kuyinkulumo engalawuleki njengokumemeza okubuhlungu, ukuwa noma ukukhala.

Abantu kungenzeka bazizwa imizwa ehambisana nokukhala kwangaphandle, kepha ibavimbele ukuthi bangakhungatheki ngabo. Lokhu kwanda kwemizwa yokuqala kungokwesikhashana futhi ngokuvamile akuhlali isikhathi eside.

Ukuphika Nokungena

Ngemuva kokukhala, umuntu uzohluka phakathi kokuphika nokungena.

Ngokomongo wale modeli, ukwenqaba kubandakanya imisebenzi evumela umuntu ukuthi angabhekani nokulahlekelwa akutholile. Lokho kungaba yizinto ezinjengokuziphonsa emsebenzini wabo noma ukuthatha umthwalo omningi kangangokuba abanaso isikhathi sokucabanga ngokulahleka kwabo.

Ingxenye yokungenelela kulapho umuntu ezwa imizwa ehlobene nokulahlekelwa ngamandla kakhulu kangangokuthi bamane nje bangayinaki. Umuntu ososizini kungenzeka ngizizwe nginecala lapho bengazizwa ngamandla okulahleka, kodwa lokho kulungile futhi kuyingxenye yenqubo yonke.

Umjikelezo phakathi kokuphika nokungena unikeza ingqondo yomuntu amandla okuphumula nokusetha kabusha njengoba izula ubuhlungu.

Ukusebenza Ngayo

Isikhathi esiningi esidlulayo, isikhathi eside sokuhamba ngebhayisikili phakathi kokuphika nokungena ngaphakathi.

Umuntu uchitha isikhathi esincane ecabanga ngokulahleka, imizwa ephathelene nokulahleka iqala ukukhuphuka futhi ibambe phansi, futhi yehle kakhulu.

Umuntu uzobe ecabanga futhi acubungule imizwa yakhe ezungeze ukulahlekelwa kwakhe, bese eqala ukusebenzela ukuthola izindlela ezintsha zokuqhubekela phambili nokuqhuba impilo yakhe ngaphandle kothandekayo wakhe.

Bangase baqale ukuphinde bahlanganyele empilweni, njengokufuna ubungani obusha nobudlelwano, ukwenza izinto zokuzilibazisa ezintsha, noma ukufuna imisebenzi egculisayo yokwenza.

Ukuqedela

Kungathatha izinyanga noma iminyaka, kepha ekugcineni umuntu uzofinyelela enkathini yokuqedwa, ngokuthi manje asebenze ngokulahlekelwa kwakhe.

Lokho akusho ukuthi sebedlulile ekulahlekelweni noma bakushiye ngemuva ngokuphelele, kusho ukuthi lowo muntu manje usengasebenza futhi ahlanganyele empilweni yakhe ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa okulawula isimo sabo somzwelo.

Umuntu usengaba nosizi oluhlobene nezingxenye ezibalulekile zobudlelwano, njengezikhumbuzo, izinsuku zokuzalwa, indawo yokuphumula, noma indawo yokudlela oyithandayo. Usizi ababhekana nalo esigabeni sokuphothula ngokuvamile luyoba lincane futhi lube lwesikhashana.

Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):

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• 9 Imithetho Okufanele Uyilandele Lapho Umuntu Omthandayo Eshonelwe
• Esikhundleni sokuthi “Siyaxolisa Ngokulahlekelwa Kwakho,” Veza Izinduduzo Zakho Ngale Misho

Kulula ukungena esikhathini sokudangala kanye nokweneliseka lapho usindwa wusizi.

Umuntu kufanele alwele ukugcina imikhuba emihle nenempilo ngangokunokwenzeka, noma ngabe ingqondo yabo ingahle idlule endaweni enzima. Ngokwenza njalo, umuntu anganciphisa izinselelo zangaphandle ngenkathi elilela ukulahlekelwa kwakhe.

1. Yiba nomusa futhi ubekezele kuwe.

Isisekelo sokululama nokubhekana nakho ukubekezela. Inqubo yokudabuka ngeke isheshe.

Ngokuya ngobukhulu bosizi, kungathatha iminyaka ukuthi ubuhlungu buphele kuze kufike ezingeni lapho kungabusi khona impilo yomuntu noma imicabango yakhe. Ukudabuka kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi.

2. Gcina imikhuba yokuzinakekela enempilo.

Gwema ukuwela ekuziphatheni okungahambi kahle ngokomzwelo. Kulula ukuphendukela ekudleni okungokomzwelo, ukulala ngokweqile, noma ukungena ezintweni eziluthayo nokulutha njengendlela yokubhekana nakho.

Yazi lezi zingibe futhi ulwele ukugcina impilo enempilo ngokudla ukudla okunempilo, uphuze amanzi amaningi, futhi unamathele esimisweni sokulala.

Ukuhlolwa njalo nodokotela wakho nakho kuwumqondo omuhle, ngoba ingcindezi inganciphisa amasosha omzimba angakushiya usengozini yokugula.

3. Yamukela noma uqhubeke emisebenzini yokuzivocavoca umzimba.

Ukuvivinya umzimba njalo kunikela ngezinzuzo eziningi zokungagcini nje ngokugcina umuntu ephilile emzimbeni, kodwa futhi kunomthelela ekunciphiseni ukudabuka noma ukucindezeleka .

Ngisho nokuhamba okumbalwa ngeviki kungathuthukisa kakhulu impilo yomzimba nengqondo. Qiniseka ukuthi uthintana nodokotela wakho ngaphambi kokuqala noma ukwenza izinguquko ezinqala enkambisweni yokuzivocavoca umzimba.

4. Xhuma nabanye abantu.

Umphakathi uyithuluzi elinamandla elivumela abantu abavela ezinhlakeni ezahlukahlukene zempilo abadlula kokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo ukuxhuma.

Ungafunda izindlela nemibono ebalulekile yokubhekana nabanye abantu abahambe izindlela ezifanayo ngenkathi bobabili benikeza futhi bethola ukwesekwa kubantu abaziqondayo.

Amaqembu osizo omphakathi wendawo noma ukwelashwa kungaba ngamathuluzi abalulekile kunqubo yokwelashwa.

Inganekwane - Usizi lomuntu lungangena kalula kumodeli ebikezelayo.

Iqiniso ngukuthi usizi luyinto yomuntu uqobo eyohluka kumuntu nomuntu. Abanye abantu bazobhekana nosizi olujulile, abanye ngeke.

Izinhlobo ezethulwe kulo mhlahlandlela zisebenza njengeziqondiso ezijwayelekile kakhulu zalokho ongakulindela. Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo abasebenzisa lezi zinhlobo zamamodeli bafundisiwe futhi baqeqeshelwe ukuqonda ukuthi asikho isisindo esilula, esisodwa esilinganisa sonke isixazululo sokuzula isimo somuntu.

Inganekwane - Ukululama okusebenzayo osizini kusho ukushiya ukulahlekelwa noma ukulahlekelwa othandekayo ngemuva.

Inhloso yokudabuka nokulila akukhona ukushiya ukulahlekelwa noma othandekayo ngemuva, kodwa ukuza endaweni enomoya lapho isisindo sobuhlungu singakhubazi noma sibuse imicabango yomuntu.

Kuzohlala kukhona izinhlungu maqondana nokulahlekelwa okukhulu. Umehluko ukuthi osindile uyakwazi ukuzulazula ebuhlungu, aqhubeke nokuphila impilo yakhe, futhi aqhubekele phambili kokuhlangenwe nakho okusha nobudlelwano.

Inganekwane - Ukubuyiselwa kosizi kufanele kwenzeke kungakapheli isikhathi esithile.

Akukho mkhawulo wesikhathi ekululameni kosizi. Kungathatha umuntu oyedwa amasonto, kungathatha omunye umuntu iminyaka.

Isikhathi sokululama kosizi sincike ezintweni eziningi ezahlukahlukene ezingenakwenzeka ukuzibala nganoma iyiphi indlela efanelekile. Umuntu kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi agweme ukubeka inkathi yosizi kosizi lanoma ngubani, kufaka phakathi olwabo.

Inganekwane - Usizi alufanele ukuzizwa. Umuntu kufanele avele ayimunce abhekane nayo.

Le yinganekwane ecekela phansi kabi engangena ezindabeni ezinzima kakhulu njengokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, ukulutheka, kanye nokudangala komtholampilo.

Umbono wokuthi noma ngubani kufanele amunce usizi lwakhe futhi abhekane nalo wumbono wezenhlalo onomthelela omubi enhlalakahleni yomuntu engqondweni, emandleni okulwa, nasekuphulukiseni ekulahlekelweni kwakhe.

Ukuzama ukubaleka nokufihla usizi kuhlala kuphelela kabi. Ihlala ibamba, kungekudala noma kamuva, kwesinye isikhathi iminyaka phansi komgwaqo. Wonke umuntu udinga ukwazi ukuthi kulungile ukuzwa usizi, ukuthi kuyimpendulo engokwemvelo engokomzwelo ekulahlekelweni.

Inganekwane - Kunenqubo noma uhlelo losizi oluzosebenza kahle kakhulu ekusizeni umuntu alile.

Inqubo yokutakula yehlukile kuwo wonke umuntu. Asikho isisombululo esilingana nosayizi owodwa. Abeluleki abadabukisayo nabelaphi ngokuvamile basebenza njengemihlahlandlela yokusiza osindile ukuthi ahambise imizwa yabo, abeke okulindelwe, futhi aqhubekele phambili nokunyakaza. Lokho kungabukeka kwehlukile kumuntu nomuntu.

okufanele ukwenze lapho unesithukuthezi futhi uwedwa

Udosi olubukhali lokulahleka luzozwakala kuwo wonke umuntu ongashadile ngesikhathi esithile. Abantu bazoshaywa wusizi ngenxa yokuxokozela nokuqhubeka kwempilo.

Usizi lungavela ekulahlekelweni ngumsebenzi, ukufa kwesithandwa noma isilwane esifuywayo, ushintsho olukhulu ekhonweni lomuntu lokuqhuba impilo yakhe, njengesifo esingelapheki noma ingozi, noma ukuphela kobudlelwano.

Konke esingakwenza ukubhekana nosizi lwethu ngamandla amakhulu nangokuzimisela ngangokunokwenzeka. Ngezinye izikhathi, lokho ngeke kuzwakale njengokuningi. Kunezikhathi lapho isisindo sisinda kakhulu size sizizwe sengathi asikwazi ukuqhubekela phambili.

Kulungile.

Akudingeki ukuthi uqhubeke ngokuqhubekela phambili, kepha ungayibalekeli noma. Kwesinye isikhathi umuntu udinga nje ukuphumula.

Ukubekezela yingxenye ebaluleke kunazo zonke yokudabuka noma ukuba khona nokuba nozwelo kothandekayo ososizini. Akumele sizibekezelele thina kuphela, kodwa nokuthi osindile athole indlela yakhe ngesikhathi esinzima kakhulu. Sonke singasebenzisa ukubekezela okuthe xaxa ezimpilweni zethu.

Kufika iphuzu lapho kunengqondo ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Uma ubuhlungu bokulahlekelwa bukhulu futhi buthakathaka, umeluleki wosizi noma umeluleki oqinisekisiwe wezempilo yengqondo angasiza osindile ukuthi ahambe ngendlela yakhe ukuze alulame.

Unganqikazi ukufuna usizo, noma ukhuthaze othandekayo wakho ukuthi afune usizo lochwepheshe, uma othile enenkinga yokubhekana nokulahlekelwa.