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Ngabe uvame ukulwa nemizwa yokuphelelwa yithemba nokungabi nanjongo? Ngabe uhlale ulwela ukuthola indawo yakho emhlabeni?
Ungahle uphathwe yi ukucindezeleka okukhona .
Lesi simo singakhungathekisa futhi sethuse ngempela ngasikhathi sinye. Njengoba uzama ukuvumelanisa imicabango yakho nezenzo zakho, nempilo yakho nencazelo yayo, ungahlangabezana nokubi ukukhathazeka , ukuzithemba, ukudideka, nokwethuka.
Lo mbhalo uzozama ukunikeza ukukhululeka kule mizwa. Okokuqala, izobheka izimpande zokucindezeleka okukhona, bese ibheka izimpawu ezivamile zabagulayo, bese ekugcineni ibheke ezinye izindlela ezingaba kude nalesi sifo esingokomoya.
Ingabe usukulungele ukuqala?
Ukuzalwa Kokucindezeleka Okukhona
Impilo yengane encane incane kakhulu. Uvaliwe ngempumelelo emhlabeni wangaphandle futhi ufunda okuningi kokwaziyo kulabo osondelene nabo kakhulu: abazali, izingane zakini, amalungu omndeni abanzi, nabangane bokuqala.
Imibono yakho yempilo, isimilo sakho, imibono yakho, kanye nokuqonda kwakho ukuthi yini eyakha ukuziphatha okwamukelekayo konke kulolongwa yilokho okubonayo phakathi kwaleli qembu elincane labantu.
Bese kuthi njengoba ukhula, ukuvezwa kwakho kumathonya angaphandle kukhule. Ikhono lakho lokukhulumisana liyathuthuka, uqala ukuqonda imibono eyinkimbinkimbi, futhi uxhumana namaqembu abantu abahlukahlukene.
isoka lami linokuzethemba okuphansi
Ngokungazelelwe, ukubuka kwakho umhlaba kuvame ukuphonselwa inselelo njengoba uhlangabezana nezinkolelo, amasiko, isimilo, nezindlela zokuphila ezihluke kakhulu kwezakho. Ungaqala ukungabaza okulungile nokungalungile. Noma kunalokho, ngubani oqinisile nokuthi ngubani ongalungile.
Lawa amahlumela okuqala aluhlaza okudangala okukhona futhi amahle kakhulu emhlabeni jikelele. Abantu abaningi kwesinye isikhathi empilweni yabo, bazodlula esikhathini lapho beqala khona ukubuza konke abakufundisiwe. Kwabanye, lokhu kuzodlula ngokushesha futhi ngaphandle kobuhlungu, kepha abanye bangahlala esimweni esinjalo isikhathi eside kakhulu.
Abanye, noma kunjalo, bangahle bangene bangene baphume kule ndawo ecatshangelwe kahle kaningi kukho konke ukuphila kwabo.
Ukudangala okukhona akudingeki ukuthi kulandele. Abantu abaningi bazindla nge imibuzo ejulile Impilo, injongo, nendawo yonke ngenjabulo impela abanye bayoze bathokozele inselelo yokucabanga ngezinto ezingaphenduleki.
Kodwa-ke kwabambalwa, lo mbuzo ungakhuphukela phansi ube yisimo sokudangala lapho yona kanye injongo yempilo yakho kufakwa kokungabaza.
Ukukhathazeka Kokugcina Kuka-Yalom
Encwadini yakhe ethi Existential Psychotherapy, udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Irvin Yalom wabonisa ukuthi kunezimbangela ezi-4 eziyinhloko zalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka. Lokhu 'ukukhathazeka okuyinhloko' njengoba akubeka, ngokombono wakhe, imiqondo eyisisekelo abagulayo abazohlangabezana nayo ngokungenakugwenywa.
Lezi yilezi: ukufa, inkululeko, ukuhlala wedwa, nokungabi namqondo.
Ukufa njengoba, njengoba ubungalindela, kuhlobene nokuphela okungenakugwenywa kwezimpilo zethu zomzimba nokuthi lokhu kuhlobene kanjani nokuphela kwezimo zethu zengqondo nezingokomoya. Sonke siyafa ngokwenyama, kepha ukungakwazi ukubona ngale kokufa kwemizimba yethu kungaba ngumthombo wosizi.
Ngenkathi abanye abantu benokholo empilweni yangemva kokufa yezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene, abanye belwa nesiphetho esisheshayo 'somuntu' olethwa ukufa. Uma sonke silindelwe ukufa, kusho ukuthini ukuphila?
Inkululeko kuyinto abantu abalwe izimpi kuyo yonke le minyaka, kepha-ke u-Yalom uthi ingqondo inobudlelwano obungebona kahle nalo mqondo. Inkululeko ivela ngokungabi bikho kohlaka esichayeke kulo kusukela ngosuku esizalwa ngalo. Ngenkathi singahlala ezweni eligcwele imithetho namasiko, asibophekile kuyo.
Inkululeko kungumsebenzi wokukhetha, ukwenza ngendlela ethile, ukwakha indlela esizenzele yona. Isimiso esesabekayo, awungeke uvume? Ngoba uma sikhululeke ngempela, lapho-ke kufanele sibhekane nethemba lokwenza izinqumo ezimbi, zokuhamba umgwaqo omncane kunalokho obekungenzeka, ukungafezi amandla ebesinikwe wona.
Ukuzihlukanisa ngomunye umqondo okhathazayo. Uyabona, njengezidalwa, sichazwa ngokuhlangana kwethu nabanye abantu, izinto, nezidalwa. Kodwa-ke noma ngabe sijwayelene kanjani nomzimba othile waphesheya, asisoze sazi ingqikithi yawo. Asisoze sathola ukuthi kuyini ukuba yilowo muntu, into, noma ifomu lokuphila.
Njengoba nje singenakukwazi ngokuphelele omunye, abakwazi ukusazi ngokugcwele. Ukwazi kwethu kuvaliwe kubo bonke abantu bangaphandle kungenxa yamehlo ethu kuphela. Isiphetho salomugqa wokucabanga ukuthi sisodwa ngokuphelele ebukhoneni bethu. Sibheka umhlaba ongabukwa, uzwakale, uthintwe, kepha akusithina futhi asisibo.
Ukungabi nanjongo kungumvuthwandaba wokufa, inkululeko, nokuhlukaniswa. Lapho ubhekene nesikhathi sethu sesikhashana, esingaqinisekile, futhi ukuba nesizungu , ezinye izingqondo ziwela endaweni emnyama engenathemba nokubaluleka.
Incazelo yempilo ilahlekile futhi umuntu ungena esimweni sokucindezeleka okukhona.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Izimpawu Ezi-6 Ususenkingeni Yesimo Esikhona
- Iqiniso Elibi Ngempilo Okungafuneki Umuntu Akutshele Lona
- Izinhlobo Ezi-4 Zabantu Abaningi Kakhulu Ukuhlushwa Inkinga Ekhona
- Ungayigwema Kanjani Inkathazo Ekhona Yesikhathi Senkinga Ngezikhathi Zokukhula Komuntu
- Izinkolelo ZamaBuddha Ezizoshiya Ukuqonda Kwakho Ngempilo Kukwenze Ujabule
- Izindlela Ezi-9 Zomphakathi Wanamuhla Zibangela Umshini Okhona
Kungani Abanye Hhayi Abanye?
Njengoba sazi ukuthi sonke sizobuza ukuthi singobani nokuthi simeleni ngesinye isikhathi ezimpilweni zethu, kungani ukwehlela phansi ekucindezelekeni okukhona kungukugwema? Kungani abanye abantu behlupheka kanti abanye abahlupheki?
Lona, ngokwemvelo, umbuzo ongabuzwa ngazo zonke izinhlobo zokudangala, kanti ngenkathi ingekho impendulo eyodwa, ecacile, kunemikhondo ethile.
Enye indlela engena kule ndawo emnyama nge usizi noma ukulahlekelwa okushaya ngokujulile enhliziyweni yomuntu. Izibonelo zemicimbi enjalo yilezi: ukudlula kothandekayo, inhlekelele enkulu (yemvelo noma eyenziwe ngabantu), isiqephu esihlukumezayo esikhathini esedlule somuntu, ukulimala kanzima kuye, ukuxilongwa kwempilo ebuthaka, noma ezinye iziyaluyalu ezingazelelwe.
Lokhu kungadala ukuphakama kwemibuzo nokukhathazeka okukhona okudala ukuthi kubekiwe. Ngokungazelelwe, iqiniso lakho seligudlukile futhi ukubuka kwakho impilo nezwe elikuzungezile kuyashintsha.
Ukholo yisizathu sesibili esingaba isizathu esenza abanye abantu babhekane nokudangala okukhona kanti abanye abanaso. Noma ngabe uyini umbono wakho ngayo, inkolo isebenza njengehange elikhulu ezimpilweni zalabo abakwenzayo. Inkolo inikeza izimpendulo (noma ngabe zilungile noma cha) emibuzweni eyisisekelo sonke esiyibuza ngempilo. Kungumthombo wokuthula nenduduzo indlu yesibani elwandle olumnyama nolunesiphepho.
Vele, akudingeki usebenzise inkolo ejwayelekile ukuze ube nokholo. Ungaba nokholo ezinkolelweni zakho, emibonweni yakho, enhliziyweni nasemphefumulweni wakho. Noma ngabe lunjani, ukholo lufana namasosha omzimba kamoya, avimbela izifo ezikhona ezisongela ingqondo.
Ukuntuleka kokholo - noma ngisho nokulahlekelwa ukholo lomuntu - kungakubeka engcupheni enkulu yale ndlela yokudangala. Futhi, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi akubona bonke labo abaphila ngaphandle kokholo abazohlupheka, futhi hhayi bonke labo abanokholo abangathinteki kulokhu kuhlupheka.
Okwesithathu, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKazimierz Dabrowski uqagele ukuthi ukuqala kokudangala okukhona kungenzeka kakhulu kumuntu obekade ngandlela thile uphiwe . Abantu abanjalo imvamisa bazoba ngabaphezulu kobuhlakani obuphakathi nendawo, ngoba ukubonisana ngencazelo yokuba khona kwakho kudinga umzamo wengqondo owenziwe isikhathi eside futhi ohlangene.
Abantu abadalile, ngokusho kukaDabrowski, nabo bathambekele ekubuzeni ubukhona babo ngandlela thile (kwesinye isikhathi njengengxenye yomsebenzi wabo) futhi kunezibonelo eziningi zabadwebi, ababhali nezimbongi abalwa nale ndlela yokudangala. Abacabangi abakhulu, ososayensi, izazi zefilosofi, kanye nabaholi nabo bangabaleli qembu 'eliphiwe' futhi kungenzeka ukuthi babhekane nezinkinga zokuphila nenjongo.
UDabrowski wabheka ukuthi abantu abanesiphiwo bazi kahle ubukhulu bempilo. Babona i-web engapheli yokuxhumana phakathi kwabantu, ithonya umuntu analo kokumzungezile, nezindlela eziphambukayo ezivela ezinqumweni esibhekene nazo. Bayakubona konke lokhu futhi yibo intuitively uyazi yamandla amakhulu azungezile. Zakha imibono ethandekayo yalokho okungaba yikho, okuphazanyiswa yiqiniso elibuhlungu lomhlaba okhona.
Kunjalo uzwela kakhulu ukungabi nabulungisa emphakathini kanye engenabulungiswa namathuba angalingani anikezwe amalungu namaqembu ahlukene. Bafisa ukuba yithonya elihle, lokulinganisa izikali osekuyisikhathi eside zithanda ezinye kunabanye. Okuqala njengesifiso esihle kungangena ngokushesha ekuphoxekeni nasekuphelelweni ithemba lapho bebona imikhawulo yethonya labo. Bangacabanga ukuthi izinto zingaba kanjani, kepha abakwazi ukwenza umthelela omuhle. Lokhu ekugcineni kungaholela ekubeni bangabaze ubukhona babo kanye nenhloso yempilo, uma ikhona.
Usizi, ukungabi nalukholo, nokuba nesiphiwo akuzona kuphela imvelaphi yokudangala okukhona, kepha yikhona okukhulu. Futhi njengoba kushiwo, akubona bonke abalingana nokukodwa kwalokhu kubumba abazowela esimweni sokucindezeleka bayizinkomba nje zengozi ephakeme.
Izimpawu Zokucindezeleka Okukhona
Inkinga ecindezelayo yohlobo olukhona ingabonakala ngokubheka ezinye zalezi zimpawu ezivamile:
- Inzalo (leyo enqamula ekuthatheni izinto) ekubuzeni imibuzo ejulile ngempilo, ukufa, indawo yonke, kanye nenjongo yakho konke.
- Ukuphelelwa yintshisekelo kukho konke okunye ngoba kubonakala kungasho lutho.
- Imizwa yokunqanyulwa, ukwehlukana, ukuhlala wedwa, kanye isizungu (unqamula ubuhlobo nabantu empilweni yakho futhi uzizwe sengathi awungeni ndawo ).
- Ukungabekezelelani kwesimo somphakathi.
- Ukukhubazeka okusebenzayo okubangelwa ukungabikho kwesisusa noma ugqozi (okusho ukuthi awukwazi ukuziletha ukwenza noma yini yento).
- Imizwa yokuphelelwa ngamandla noma ukungabi nalutho.
- Amazinga wamandla aphansi.
- Imicabango yokuzibulala.
Ukudangala okukhona, njengezinye izinhlobo eziningi, kungafika ngamazinga ahlukahlukene obukhali. Ukubona izimpawu kusenesikhathi kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokwelapha nokunqoba ukugula.
Ukubhekana Nokucindezeleka Okukhona
Ukuzikhulula: akukho kulokhu okulandelayo okufanele kuthathwe njengeseluleko somtholampilo noma sochwepheshe. Ukudana kwelashwa kangcono ngochwepheshe futhi amaphuzu angezansi enzelwe ukuncoma lokhu.
Khuluma nothile: noma ngabe uzizwa sengathi konke ukuxhumana komuntu siqu akusizi ngalutho, kufanelekile ukuzama ukwelashwa okukhulunywayo kohlobo oluthile. I-Logotherapy, uhlobo lwe-psychotherapy olwenziwe nguViktor Frankl, ingahle ifaneleke kakhulu ekucindezelekeni okukhona njengoba ikhuluma ngokufuna injongo ezimpilweni zethu.
Yamukela ukungaqiniseki: into eyodwa ehlupha abaningi abanesifo ubuningi nobukhulu bezinto ezingaziwa ezihilelekile. Akunanani ukucabanga noma ukusesha okuyoke kukulethele impendulo eqondile yemibuzo yokuthi kungani kufanele siphile kanjani nokuthi kanjani. Izimfihlakalo ezizungeze ukufa, indawo yonke , inkululeko yokuzikhethela, noma injongo iyohlala ifihliwe unomphela, futhi ukwamukela lokhu kungasusa umthwalo wokucabanga okungapheli komuntu.
Gxila kulokho ONGAKWENZA: maningi amathuba okuthi usufinyelele esiphethweni sokuthi ithonya lakho emhlabeni lilinganiselwe. Esikhundleni sokuvumela lokhu kukudicilele phansi, zama ukucabanga ngazo zonke izindlela eziningi ezincane ongazithinta nalabo abakuzungezile. Qonda ukuthi ngenkathi ukufinyelela kwakho kungakhawulelwa, amandla okuba nomthelela omuhle kulabo abangaphakathi kwawo akunjalo.
Usizi: uma uke walahlekelwa noma wabona inhlekelele, udinga vumela ukudabuka . Ungabi lusizi kuphela kwabanye asebemukile, kodwa nakulezo zingxenye zakho ongasakwazi ukuzibona nazo. Izimo zokuphila ngokungaguquguquki zikwenza ungabaze isimilo sakho, ukukhetha kwakho, ubuntu bakho, kanye nempilo yakho kuze kube manje kufanele uziyeke zihambe uma zizohluleka ukuzibamba.
Yamukela umehluko: ukubhekana nemizwa yokunqanyulwa nokuhlukaniswa, kufanele ukwamukele futhi, ekugcineni, wamukele iqiniso lokuthi uhlukile kusuka kuwo wonke umuntu nakho konke okunye. Esikhundleni sokubona lokhu njengento embi, zama ukukubheka njengethuba lokuzibandakanya nezinhlangano ezihluke kakhulu kwezakho. Yebo, awusoze wakwazi ukuba yibo, uzizwe njengabo, ubone njengabo, kepha ungafunda kubo futhi uqonde kangcono uhlobo lwabo lweqiniso. Ungacabangi ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngokuphelele namalungelo, kepha qonda ukwehluka kwesiko nemibono.
Ukudangala okukhona yisimo esibi kakhulu, kwesinye isikhathi esinganakwa ochwepheshe bezokunakekelwa kwezempilo noma esenziwe iphutha ngokugula okuthile. Ukuqonda ukuthi kuyini nokuthi kuvelaphi kungakusiza ukubhekana nenkinga futhi uthole ukwelashwa okusebenzayo.
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