Uma ufuna izindlela zokwenza ngcono impilo yakho futhi ususe i-c ** p enqwabelene evimba indlela yakho, akukho ukusweleka kwezeluleko laphaya.
Ukusesha oku-inthanethi okusheshayo kuzoveza amakhulu ezindatshana ezigcwele iziphakamiso eziwusizo ezihlanganisa zonke izici zokuphila kwakho kwansuku zonke.
Inkinga, noma kunjalo, uma uhlu lude, mancane amathuba okuthi uzokwazi ukufeza inhloso yakho.
Noma izeluleko eziningi eziwusizo zingase zingasebenzi nakuwe, umthamo omkhulu ungacisha njengoba uhambisa amaphutha amaningi abantu.
Uzoboshelwa emininingwaneni futhi, okubi kunakho konke, ugcine uzizwa kabi ngawe.
Uma intaba izoba nzima kangako ukukhuphuka, kungani uzihlupha?
… Lokho yizinhloso zakho ezinhle phansi kwepani ngaphambi kokuthi uqale.
Sigcine inani leziphakamiso lifushane, ngomqondo wokuthi okuncane kuningi.
Futhi, njengoba izimo zangaphandle zinzima kakhulu ukushintsha noma ukulawula, ukugxila kwethu kungaphakathi, enhlalakahleni yakho engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo.
Lezi zinto zinethonya eliyisisekelo ebukhoneni bakho futhi uzokwazi ukubona imiphumela ngokushesha.
Iqiniso ukuthi, izinkinga zethu eziningi azibangelwa yishwa, izehlakalo ezingezinhle, noma abanye abantu…
Empeleni zivela emikhubeni yethu emibi yengqondo.
Ukwenza ukuzihlaziya okuncane nokuhlola kabusha isimo sakho sengqondo kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokukuqala endleleni yakho yokuzithuthukisa.
Okuzayo yizingqondo eziyisithupha ezingezinhle iningi lethu elisindwa yizo.
Uma ungazibeka eceleni futhi uzikhulule ethonyeni lazo elilimazayo, uzothola ukukhanya kokuba ungakaze ucabange ukuthi kungenzeka.
ukubeka umuntu phansi ukuze uzizwe ungcono
Ushintsho oluvela ngaphakathi luyakhulula futhi lunike amandla. Futhi, okungcono, uzoqala ukuzwa inzuzo cishe ngaso leso sikhathi, nalapho uhambo luthatha khona isikhashana.
Uhleli esihlalweni somshayeli lapha futhi unawo ngempela amandla okuthuthukisa impilo yakho.
Ngakho ake siqale. Asikho isikhathi sokuchitha!
1. Dedela ukuphelela.
Iqiniso lokuphila komuntu, njengoba sinqamula phakathi kwe-maze, ukuthi akukho lutho olumnyama nolumhlophe.
Uma samukela (futhi silindele!) Okungcono kakhulu kithina nangempilo yethu, amathuba ukuthi ngeke size kude kakhulu.
Okubi kakhulu, sizokwenza njalo uzizwe udumele njalo futhi sengathi sizishiyile (kanye / noma abanye) phansi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, sesha njengoba singenza ngomsebenzi ophelele, ubudlelwano obufanele, noma ikhaya elifanele, asisoze salithola.
Okwamanje, njengoba ukubuka kwethu kusethwe kokungafinyeleleki, amanye amathuba amaningi angasenza sijabule azodlula ngokunganakwa.
Uma sihlala silwela ukufezekisa nokugcina ukusebenza okuphelele kuzo zonke izinto ngaso sonke isikhathi, asishiywanga sizizwa sikhathele yimizamo, kepha asigculisekile ngalokho esikubona njengokwehluleka.
Uma kufinyelelwa esiphethweni sayo sokugcina, ukuphelela, empeleni, kunomkhawulo omangalisayo ngoba ukwesaba ukwehluleka kungadala ukukhubazeka.
Ngakho-ke, ngokungafani nalokho okungenzeka ubukucabanga, ukuphelela empeleni kungumama wokuhlehlisa kunokuba kusebenze.
Manje yisikhathi sokuqonda ukuthi kulungile ukwenza amaphutha. Ukuba namaphutha kuyingxenye engenakugwemeka yesimo somuntu.
Uma ungazivumeli ukuba wenze amaphutha, ngeke ufunde futhi ukhule njengomuntu.
Okunye okudingeka ukwenze ukuzinika imvume yokufaka umzamo ongaphansi kuka-100% - qala ngo-80% bese ubona ukuthi lokho kuzwakala kanjani.
Yamukela ukuthi zonke izici zempilo yakho azidingi ukuthi ziphelele ukuze ujabule.
Indlela impilo yakho ebukeka ngayo ngaphandle ayibalulekile okwenzeka ngaphakathi kuyisihluthulelo sokwaneliseka.
Setha kabusha okulindele. Uma ungakwenzi lokho, uzovumela ukuphelela okuyingozi ukumunce yonke injabulo empilweni yakho.
Uzobe ufuna lokho ongasoze wakuthola ngenkathi impilo 'yangempela', nawo wonke amathuba ekunikezayo, edlula kuwe.
Okuthunyelwe okuhlobene: Ungakunqoba Kanjani Ukuphelela: Izindlela Ezi-8 Zokwamukela Okungaphansi Kokuhle Kakhulu
2. Bopha ukunganaki, wamukele okuhle.
Sonke sijwayele ingilazi egcwele ngokugcwele uma kuqhathaniswa nengqondo yengilazi engenalutho futhi siyazi ukuthi abangaphambili bashaya izandla zokugcina.
Kodwa-ke izinkinga ezisizungezile - mathupha, kuzwelonke, nasemhlabeni jikelele - zenza kube lula kakhulu ukubona impilo ngelensi elonakele, elibuhlungu, okusenza sizizwe singenamandla futhi singenathemba.
Lokho kungumthwalo omkhulu ukuhudula cishe u-24/7.
Uma ubheka izinto ezimbi (futhi masikubhekane nakho, akudingeki ubheke kude kakhulu), uzohlala uzithola.
roman ubusa uhlaselwe fan
Uzobona kuphela ubumnyama nencithakalo, ngenkathi wehluleka ukwamukela noma iziphi izinzuzo nakancane.
Ukuphelelwa yithemba kuyazithuthukisa futhi lapho ukhononda kakhulu futhi ukhononda, konke kuzovela kubi kakhulu.
Akukaze kube nesikhathi esingcono sokwamukela ithemba futhi siqhubeke sibheka okuhle, okuhle, futhi okumangazayo okumangazayo okusizungezile.
Baqinisile lapho, yikho nje ukuthi sibambeke kakhulu kumjikelezo wobudedengu ukuze sibabone.
Uma uvumela impilo ikugaye phansi, kuqinisekile ngo-100% ukuthi kuzoba njalo.
Qala ukufuna okuhle kunalokho futhi maduzane uzoqala ukubona impilo ngombono oheha ngokuphelele.
Kanye nalolo shintsho lomqondo kuzoba nombono ocacile.
Mhlawumbe uzothola isiphethu esinyathelweni sakho ebesingekho ngaphambili ngisho nengoma enhliziyweni yakho.
Ungahle uthande (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Imithetho Engu-9 Yokuphila Ngokuthola Impilo Ongeke Uzisole Ngayo Okwesibili
- Yenza Njengalezi Ziningi Lezi Zinto Ezingama-30 Ukwenza Impilo Yakho Ithuthuke
- Izinto Eziza Kuqala Ekuphileni Okufanele Njalo Kuze Kuqala
- Izindlela Ezingama-30 Zokuhlanganisa Impilo Yakho Kanye Kuphela
- Izindlela eziyi-11 Zokujabulela Impilo Njengangaphambili
3. Ungathathi izinto uqobo lwakho.
Ukuphendula kabi ezintweni ezishiwo noma ezenziwe abanye ekugcineni kuxhumene nokungazethembi kwethu nokungazethembi.
Le yinkinga yokuzikhuthaza: lapho sivumela kakhulu imizwa yokulimala, amahloni, noma ngisho nokuzicasukela thina noma omunye umuntu ukuthi kusithinte, ukwehla kwesithunzi sakho kuzoba phansi.
lapho othile ekubuka futhi amamatheke
Sizizwa singenamandla futhi singafaneleki.
Lawo mademoni amabi angaphakathi awaneliseki ukwedlula lapho ekwazi ukusonta umbono wethu weqiniso futhi asenze sizizwe sihlaselwa.
Iqiniso ngukuthi abantu abaningi, ngisho nabangane nabantu osebenza nabo, abacabangi ngawe, abakhuluma ngawe, noma abakhathazekile nganoma iyiphi indlela nawe isikhathi esingama-99%.
Kungenzeka ukuthi usebenza kanzima futhi ucasukile ngento oyithathe njengenhlamba.
Ungakholelwa ukuthi umuntu akakuthandi ngoba akazange athi sawubona.
Iqiniso ukuthi uwena wedwa owonakaliswe okuncane noma okucatshangwa okuncane, kuyilapho ‘owonile’ ngokunokwenzeka engazi ngenjabulo ‘ngobugebengu’ bakhe.
Ngokwengxenye enkulu, noma ngabe abantu bakuphatha ngomusa noma bayagula, noma bayabanda noma bayakufudumala, empeleni akuyona neze indaba yomuntu siqu.
Kungenzeka ukuthi ixhunyaniswe nezinto ezenzeka ezimpilweni zabo eziyinkimbinkimbi.
Ungazenzi usizi ngokukholelwa ukuthi kunjalo.
Isibonelo, umuntu ongamomotheki noma akubingelele angavele abe namahloni, noma aphazamiseke, noma mhlawumbe akakubonanga.
Ukusetha kabusha impendulo yakho kuzisusa okungenzeka ukuthi zakulimaza esikhathini esedlule kuzothuthukisa ukuzethemba kwakho, futhi ngeke uzithathele izinto kakhulu esikhathini esizayo.
Okuthunyelwe okuhlobene: Ungazithathi Kanjani Izinto Ngokwakho Isikhathi Sonke: 7 Azikho Izeluleko Zombhedo!
4. Gwema ukugxumela eziphethweni.
Inkinga ngale mindset ukuthi ikuvumela ukuthi ucabange ukuthi ubona konke futhi wazi konke ngoba wenza ukucabanga okukhulu.
Lokhu kucabanga kuvame ukususelwa ebufakazini obuncane.
Kuyinkinga engaphelelwa isikhathi yokwengeza u-2 no-2 bese wenza u-5.
Lo mkhuba udala izinkinga ngezindlela ezimbili…
Okokuqala, umuntu ofinyelela eziphethweni kulwazi oluncane kakhulu ugcwele ukuzethemba okunjalo olwazini lwabo aze ayeke ukunaka okwenzekayo empeleni.
Bafaka izimpumputhe zabo futhi balime ngokuya ngokucabanga kwabo.
Iqiniso ngukuthi abantu ngokuvamile bangababikezeli bezinhlanhla abahle kakhulu futhi iningi lemicabango yethu iqhelelene neqiniso.
Futhi ukucabanga okungalungile kuvame ukuholela ezenzweni ezingalungile ezithathwayo.
Inkinga yesibili ngalo mkhuba ukuthambekela kokudlala i-mind-reader, wenze ukucabanga okukhulu ngokuthi kungani abantu benza abakwenzayo noma lokho abakucabangayo.
Njengoba kungenzeki ukungena ngaphakathi kwekhanda lomunye umuntu, isiphetho nakanjani sizolunga, kube nemiphumela engalimaza.
Ubudlelwano obuningi, bobabili obuchwepheshile nobomuntu siqu, bonakaliswa ngabantu abadonsa iziphetho ezingezona ezisuselwa emicabangweni eyiphutha.
ukubhalela nini intombazane ngemuva kosuku
5. Ungaziqhathanisi nabanye.
Lo msebenzi ohlonishwe isikhathi, ohehayo, nokho ongaba yingozi usuthathwe wabekwa ezingeni elilandelayo ngokuqhuma kwemithombo yezokuxhumana.
Singadla kamnandi ngempilo enhle ethokozisayo, nelungelo eliholwa yi-'Joneses 'yanamuhla, sinikeze lesi silo esinamehlo aluhlaza amathuba amaningi wokuphakamisa ikhanda.
Kubaluleke kakhulu okwamanje, ngakho-ke, ukubheka izizathu zokuthi kungani ukuziqhathanisa nabanye kulimaza futhi kungakuniki uphawu lokuzibekisa olunembile.
Okokuqala, kuvela ukuthi isitatimende sikaMark Twain esithi 'ukuqhathanisa ukufa kwenjabulo' kusekelwa ucwaningo lwesayensi.
Ucwaningo lukhombise ukuthi ukuqhathanisa okungathandeki kudala imizwa yomona, ukuzethemba okuphansi, kanye nokudangala [1].
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuqhathanisa nabantu abampofu kakhulu kubangela ubumnandi obunamandla.
Noma ngabe kuhamba ngaphi, ukuqhathanisa kukuholela endleleni eyingozi.
Okwesibili, awuqhathanisi nokuphikisana neqiniso kepha inguqulo ehleliwe lapho okungekuhle kusetshenziswe khona kabusha kwaba kuhle ukuze kuzuze abanye.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi ucwaningo lwakamuva luqinisekisa ukuthambekela kwethu ekweqiseni okuhle ezimpilweni zabanye, ngenkathi sihluleka ukubona izinto ezimbi noma sizichaze kabi [2].
Ngakho-ke esikugcina sinesithombe esingaphelele kanye nencazelo ehlanekezelwe yalawo maqiniso alinganiselwe adaka amanzi ngokuqhubekayo.
Ukwenza ukuqhathanisa ngenkathi ungenalo lonke ulwazi ngokusobala akusizi ngalutho, ikakhulukazi ngoba uqhathanisa iqiniso lakho nokuvelele okuhleliwe komunye.
Kungani ungasebenzisi amandla akho ekubeni yinguqulo yakho engcono kakhulu esikhundleni sokuzama ukuba ngcono noma ube ngcono kunabanye?
Okuthunyelwe okuhlobene: Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukuziqhathanisa Nabanye
6. Ungabheki emuva - dlulisa okwedlule.
Isitudiyo sakwaDisney besingene kokuthile ngengoma ka-Elsa enothando: Kuyeke kuhambe .
Kungumzwelo othinta ngokujulile imizwa yethu, isifiso sethu sokuqhubekela phambili futhi sishiye ukulimala kwangaphambilini nokungabi nabulungisa ngemuva.
Futhi nokho iningi lethu alikwenzi, ngeke, noma ngeke.
Sizithola sibhajwe emjikelezweni omubi wentukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, usizi, nokuphelelwa yithemba okubangelwa ubuhlungu besikhathi esedlule nezinkinga esibambelela kuzo, noma ngabe kubuhlungu kangakanani.
into okumele uyenze uma unesizungu
Lokhu mhlawumbe okunzima kakhulu kunakho konke 'ukulungiswa' okuzothuthukisa impilo yakho.
Akulula ukudedela ubuhlungu obunqwabelene. Uma sibambelele isikhathi eside kuyo, kuba nzima ukuyibeka ekuphumuleni futhi siqhubekele phambili.
Yize inobuthi, kubonakala njengomngani wakudala esinqikayo ukusinqamula ngokuphelele ezimpilweni zethu.
Kepha kunezinyathelo ongazithatha ukukusiza ukuthi uqabule okwedlule kukuzwisise ubuhlungu futhi uzothola izeluleko zokuthi ungakufinyelela kanjani lokhu kuqalwa kabusha okukhulu lapha: Ungakuyeka Kanjani Okwedlule: 16 Azikho Izeluleko zeBullsh * t!
Okusemqoka ukuthi ubuhlungu obudlule akumele buchaze impilo yakho.
Ukuthwala imithwalo enjalo akuzange kube nempilo futhi kumane kwengeze ekucindezelekeni kwakho. Kungena endleleni yekhono lakho lokugxila emsebenzini, ekutadisheni, nakubudlelwano bakho.
Yingakho udinga ukuyidedela futhi uvumele amandla wangempela enjabulo nenjabulo abuyele empilweni yakho.
Awucabangi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi?
Izinkomba:
1. Inkonjane, S. R., & Kuiper, N. A. (1988). Ukuqhathanisa komphakathi kanye nokuzihlola okungekuhle: Isicelo sokudangala. Ukubuyekezwa KweClinical Psychology, 8, 55-76.
2. UJordan, A. H., Monin, B., Dweck, C. S., Lovett, B. J., John, O. P., & Gross, J. J. (2011). Usizi Lunenkampani Eningi Kunabantu Abacabangayo: Ukubukela Phansi Ukwanda Kwemizwa Emibi Yabanye. Bulletin yobuntu ne-Social Psychology, 37 (1), 120-135.
