Uma uke waba sebudlelwaneni bezothando (noma umshado) nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe, khona-ke ngokungangabazeki ujwayelene kakhulu nenani elikhulu lomonakalo abangalidala. Banobudlova ikakhulukazi lapho bebhangqiwe nama-empaths, njengoba bekhulisa okungenampilo ngempela ukuxhomekeka , kepha nobudlelwano obumaphakathi narcarc bungaholela ekulayisheni okuphelele kwezinkinga zokuzethemba, ukudangala, ukukhathazeka , futhi okubi kakhulu.
Abanye abantu - okungukuthi labo abaziqinisekisile ukuthi bayamthanda umlingani wabo wezidakamizwa futhi bafuna ukuzama ukwenza izinto zisebenzisane nabo - bacabanga ukuthi ukuya emibhangqwaneni yokwelulekwa ndawonye kuzosithuthukisa isimo.
iwashi ungaphefumuli ku-inthanethi mahhala
Bakholelwa ukuthi uma bengakholisa i-narc empilweni yabo ukuthi ifune ukwelashwa nabo, khona-ke bayoba ngumlingani ophelele abanamandla amakhulu okuba yibo.
Cha.
Cha, ngeke kwenzeke, futhi ungagcina uzizwa ubi kakhulu ngemuva kweseshini yokwelashwa noma emihlanu kunaleyo oyenzile ngaphambi kokuzama. Nakhu ukuthi kungani.
Kungumdlalo Kubo
Uma kwenzeka ungakaqapheli, ama-narcissists ayizilo ezinhle futhi izingcweti zokukhohlisa . Uma bevumile ukuya ekwelashweni nawe, kungenxa yokuthi kubajabulisa ukwenza kanjalo.
Badlala nawe njengamathoyizi ekati anegundane, belivumela ukuthi ligijime mahhala ngaphambi kokulishaya, bese bekuphinda lokho okwesikhashana: kunikeza igundane (wena) ithemba lokuthi izinto zizolunga ngaphambi kokuchoboza amathemba athi futhi. Ngezinzipho zabo.
Uyakhumbula ukuthi bakukhanga kanjani ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bakho? Uwele kanzima kangakanani ngokuziphatha kwabo? Yebo, abelaphi bangabantu futhi, futhi abakwazi ukubona ngaso sonke isikhathi ngamaqhinga endoda ethanda ukwelashwa.
Konke okulethayo kuzokuphendulela njengoba i-narc empilweni yakho izama ukukhombisa lo mphilisi ukuthi umubi kangakanani. Akunandaba ukuthi uthini noma uzama kanjani kanzima ukwenza ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho nemizwa yakho kuqinisekiswe, abakwa-narc bazokuguqula ukuze babe yisisulu, futhi udinga ukwelashwa ukuze uyeke ukwenza 'njengohlanya', noma uzonikeza phezulu uzama ukubuyela empilweni yakho, ugcine isimo esikhona.
Kunoma ikuphi, bayaphumelela.
Ukukhanyisa igesi Ngosizo Lomelaphi
Into eyodwa ejwayelekile eyenzekayo lapho i-narc idonswa ekwelashweni kwezithandani (njengoba kuchazwe ngenhla) ukuthi bagcina bethole owelapha ohlangothini lwabo, bese behlangana nawe.
Uzozama ngamandla ukwenza ukuthi owelwayo aqonde umbono wakho futhi achaze ukuthi umlingani wakho unjani ekhaya, wathi umlingani uzobukeka edabukile futhi elimele, futhi athulule izinhliziyo zabo ngokuthi unesihluku kangakanani futhi awunabulungisa kangakanani kubo, nokuthi wenza kanjani phezulu izindaba zokubalimaza, bese uzama ukuthola ukunakwa noma ukuzwelana nokuzikhohlisa kwakho.
Cabanga nje ukuthi lesi simo sizobukeka kanjani kumelaphi wakho: nangu-ke, udidekile futhi ungumuntu wesilisa futhi mhlawumbe usondele kuma-hysterics, uthandazela ukuthi othile agcine ekulalele futhi akukholwe ngakho konke ukuhlukunyezwa oke waphathwa kukho, kanye nomlingani wakho we-narc ubukeka edabukile futhi edangele.
Ungahle ube ne-PTSD futhi ungalahlekelwa yi-sh * t yakho phakathi nezikhathi ngoba empeleni usekupheleni kwentambo yakho, kepha kunokuba ukwenze ubonakale uthembeke kakhulu futhi udinga usizo, leyo ndlela yokuziphatha edangele izokupenda njengongazinzile umenzi wobubi kulokhu kubambisana okungenampilo.
Umelaphi uzokukhuza ngokuziphatha KWAKHO okungalungile, futhi uzokubuza ukuthi kungani ungenangqondo kangako kumuntu okusobala ukuthi ukukhathalele kakhulu, futhi ulimala ngenxa yezinsolo zakho ezingafanele.
Okubi kakhulu kunokungakholelwa kumuntu ovulele kuye ukuhlanjalazwa yibo, ikakhulukazi uma kunguwena obehlupheka ezandleni zomhlukumezi okhohlisayo. Lokhu kungadala umonakalo omkhulu wesikhathi eside, kanti umlingani wakho we-narc uvele ancume ngoba ubuthakathaka futhi unosizi kangangokuba awukwazi nokwenza ukwelashwa okulungile.
uneminyaka emingaki ujordyn jones
Ukuthembeka Ngempela Kungaba Yingozi
Uma umlingani wakho we-narcissist ekuhlukumeza kakhulu ngamazwi, ngokomzwelo, kanye / noma ngokukuhlukumeza ekhaya, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi uthule kahle ngakho ngenxa yokwesaba.
Ukuba kwezokwelashwa nomlingani wakho kungakwenza uzizwe sengathi unendawo ephephile yokuvuleleka mayelana nokuhlukunyezwa okunjalo ngoba unomuntu lapho ozokukholelwa futhi akuvikele… kepha ngaphandle kokuthi wena nomlingani wakho nihlala ngokuhlukana, nizo kufanele ngibuyele ekhaya nabo ngemuva kweseshini yokwelulekwa, futhi kungahle kube khona isihogo okufanele sikhokhwe.
Hlala wazi ukuthi abakwa-narcissist bayakudelela ukupendwa njengokuthi 'kubi' ubukhona babo bonke kugxile ekwazisweni nasekuthathekeni, ngakho-ke uma uphumela obala ngokuziphatha kwabo okunyantisayo kanye nezinhlangothi zabelaphi ezikuwe esikhundleni sabo, ngokungangabazeki uzothwala ubunzima bokushiswa kwabo ukufutheka ngokushesha nje lapho umnyango wakho wangaphambili uvalwa ngemuva kwakho.
ukutshela kanjani uma sekuphelile
Ukufutheka kwabo kungakhuphuka ngaphezu kwalokho ongakucabanga, futhi esikhundleni sokuvele uphonsa inhlamba ngendlela yakho, ungagcina usuthola udlame lwasemzimbeni (noma izinsongo zalo). Ngisho nabalingani be-narc abangazange bahlukumeze esikhathini esedlule bangadalwa babe nolaka kakhulu futhi babe nodlame uma bezwa ukuthi weqe umaki futhi waba nesibindi sokwenza abanye bakholelwe izinto ezimbi ngabo.
Ukufunda okubaluleke kakhulu kwe-narcissist (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):
- Indlela Yedwala Elimpunga Yokusebenzelana Nombhali We-Narcissist Lapho kungekho Oxhumana Naye Akuyona Inketho
- ICoververt Narcissist: Izinhlobo Ezinamahloni, Ezingenisiwe Zingaba Narcissists Kanjani
- Izinto eziyi-8 i-Narcissist Angeke ikwenzele zona (Noma Noma ngubani omunye)
- IRollercoaster Yokubuyiselwa Okusuka Ekuhlukunyezweni KwamaNarcissistic
- Izingwegwe ezi-5 Ezisetshenziswa NgamaNarcissis Ukugcina Ubuya
- Lokho Okwenziwa Izinkawu Ezindizayo Kwenzelwe AmaNarcissist (Nokuthi Ungazikhubaza Kanjani)
Akukho Okuzoshintsha
Enye indlela ezosetshenziswa yidokodela uma bevuma ukuthola ukwelashwa ukuzenza sengathi bayasekela futhi bathathe izeluleko zodokotela. Bangakhombisa ukuzisola “kwangempela”, benze izindaba ezithile ezikhuluma ngobuntwana babo bokuzithokozisa ukuze bathole uzwelo oluvela kuwe nakumelaphi, futhi kubonakale sengathi bazinikele ngempela ekwenzeni izinto zibe ngcono phakathi kwenu.
Futhi, lokhu kunomthelela wokukuvumela ube nomuzwa ongamanga wokuphepha. Bangakhuphuka futhi bashintshe babe ngcono (isikhashana), bakunike isithombe sokuthi bafuna ngobuqotho ukushintsha ukuze babe umlingani ofanelwe ukuba ngumuntu ongcono kuwe, nakubo ngokwabo…
… Futhi nje lapho uyeka unogada wakho bese uqala ukubethemba futhi, noma kancane, leyo façade izokwehla futhi bazobuyela ezindleleni zabo.
Kungani kunjalo? Ngoba abakwazi ukuguqula ukuthi bangobani ngaphezu kwakho.
Awukwazi ukuguqula ngomlingo ube ngumlingani ophelele onjenge-chameleon ozoshintsha futhi acwazimule abe ngumlingani wabo ofanele njalo lapho kushintsha imicabango yabo, futhi abakwazi ukuba nguzakwethu othembekile, othembekile okuthanda ngempela.
Ngomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, ukhona ukuze kuzuze bona, lapho bezitholela khona, futhi bazozama ukukukhohlisa kuzo zonke izinkomba ukuze bathole abakufunayo. Lokhu kufaka phakathi ukudlala umdlalo wezokwelapha uma kukwenza uthambekele ekuhambeni kwesikhathi.
Zinakekele, Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu
Ukwelapha kubaluleke kakhulu. Ngempela, kunjalo. Akekho kithi ongenazinkinga, futhi uma usinde kubambiswano lwesikhathi eside esikushiye ulimele futhi udangele, khona-ke kungakuhle wena ukuthola umelaphi omuhle, oqinile ongamethemba.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, zingakusiza ukuthi wakhe kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho namandla ozigcinele wona, futhi usebenzele impilo oyifanele.
Ukhiye lapha ukuthi ufune le therapy yedwa .
Udinga ukuzenzela wena kuqala, futhi ubheke impilo yakho nenjabulo yakho. Iningi lethu lihlelelwe ukuthi likuthathe njengobugovu, kepha empeleni kuyindaba yokuzivikela nokuzinakekela. Thola owelapha onolwazi nabantu abane-PTSD kusuka ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic , futhi uzibophezele ekubavumeleni ukuthi bakusize uhlele impilo yakho.
Uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano bothando nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe, kunesenzo esisodwa kuphela ongasithatha esiyoqinisekisa inhlalakahle yakho yesikhathi esizayo: ukubaleka, nokuphonsa amabhomu emahlombe akho ukuze angakulandeli.
ukucaphuna okuhlanyayo okuvela ku-alice e-Wondland
