Amanye amagama angama-6 avela kusichazamazwi seNarcissist Okudingeka Ukwazi Ngempela

Yimiphi I-Movie Okufanele Uyibone?
 

Izwe lama-narcissists liyinkimbinkimbi. Kuwo wonke ama-spectrum nakuzo zonke izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene, kunezindlela ezahlukahlukene zokuziphatha. Noma kunjalo, umphumela uhlala unjalo ekugcineni.



Ku- i-athikili edlule , Ngikwethulele imishwana eyisithupha, futhi nayi eminye eyisithupha ezosikhanyisela ngalolu hlobo lobuntu obuyinkimbinkimbi nobuthi.

Umkhankaso weSmear

Umdlalo wonke wama-narcissists udlala ngokulawula nokubusa. Lapho nje umuntu osebenzisa izihibe engasakwazi ukuqamba amanga, ukukopela, ukuxhaphaza, noma ukukhaphela, ngoba isisulu sikwazile ekugcineni shiya ubuhlobo , bazokwethula umkhankaso wokubacoboshisa.



Lo mkhankaso wenzelwe kulimaze umlingani wabo wangaphambili ngangokunokwenzeka. Njengoba i-ego ebuthaka (kodwa enkulu) ye-narcissist yonakalisiwe, bazokwenza lokhu ukufuna ukuziphindisela kwabo.

Ubudlelwano bonke bebumayelana nokusebenzisa nokuxhaphaza isisulu (ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo, ngokomoya, ngokwezimali) bese kuthi, lapho isikhathi silungile, sishiye lowo muntu komunye umuntu aqale umjikelezo wokuhlukumezeka futhi.

Kodwa-ke umdlalo awuphelanga njengoba bekulindelekile, ngakho-ke umbulali uzokwenzela ngokuzama ukubona isisulu sonakalisiwe sisebenzisa nganoma iyiphi indlela, nengqikithi ukungabi necala noma ukuzisola.

Ezinye izibonelo zomkhankaso we-smear yilezi:

  • Ukucekela phansi isithombe sesisulu emsebenzini ngenhloso yokuthi sixoshwe.
  • Ukulawula abanye abantu (ababiziwe izinkawu ezindizayo Ukuhlukumeza noma ukuhlukumeza isisulu.
  • Ukuqamba amanga kubangane ojwayelekile ngesisulu ukuze uzihlukanise.

Idwala Elimpunga

Lokhu iqhinga elingasebenzi ukuze lithole ukuvikeleka kumuntu osebenzisa izidakamizwa lapho “kungekho oxhumana naye” kungenzeki (isb.Umqaphi ungumphathi wakhe, noma bangumlingani wangaphambili nomzali enganeni yakhe).

kusayina ukuthi umfelwa uselungele ukuqhubekela phambili

Ukuziphatha kwe-narcissist kwenziwa ukuthola impendulo kubantu. Ukuya eGrey Rock kusho ukuthi uyasebenza futhi ujabulise njengoba kunjalo: idwala elimpunga. Kusho ukuba yisicefe, kungasho lutho oluncane noma ungasho lutho, ukunganikezi imininingwane yomuntu (noma okuncane ngangokunokwenzeka), futhi ngokujwayelekile uziphatha njengesithombe esiphilayo esingaphazanyiswa yinoma imuphi umcabango wokuphikisana ongaphonswa yi-narcissist.

Kunzima ukukwenza ekuqaleni, kepha kuba ngcono ngokuzijwayeza… futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, kuyasebenza. Umbulali uzobona ukuthi ukucasulwa kwabo akusashukumisi isisulu. Ekugcineni, bazodela badlulele kokunye okubhekiswe kubo ngoba isisulu asisekho “njengobumnandi” njengakuqala.

Funda eyethu umhlahlandlela ogcwele wokuya eGrey Rock lapha .

Ukunikezwa Kwe-Narcissistic

Ngiyazi, kuyezwakala kuxaka. Kuyini lokho?

AbakwaNarcissists abanakho uqobo lwangaphakathi olungazazi ukuthi bangobani futhi banokuzethemba okuphansi. Ngenkathi bekhuliswa, kungenzeka ukuthi kwakukhona okungenani umzali oyedwa kanye / noma umnakekeli owayebaphatha kabi kakhulu (ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo kanye / noma ngokomzwelo phakathi nengxenye noma bonke ubuntwana babo) noma kahle kakhulu (cabanga ukuthi “uyinkosi / ndlovukazi futhi uzokwazi ukwenza noma yini oyifunayo - abantu bayohlala bekujabulisa ”).

Ngoba isiqu sabo sangaphakathi besingakhuliswanga kahle, konke ukuzazisa kwabo kuvela ngaphandle, kwabanye abantu, hhayi ngaphakathi kwabo. Ngakho-ke, bathembela ngokuphelele kwabanye abantu nokuthi bazama ukuthola ini kubo. Le yindlela abahlala ngayo besebenza futhi bengadabuki.

wwe imithetho ngokweqile ukuqala isikhathi

Ukunikezwa kwe-narcissistic esimweni ngasinye kuncike ekutheni yiziphi izidingo zomuntu siqu okufanele zihlangatshezwe ngomunye umuntu. Izinsiza ezivame kakhulu ze-narcissistic yilezi: ukudla, ubulili, uthando, indawo yokuhlala, imali, ukunconywa, ukunakwa namandla. Lokhu kunikezwa kuvame ukunikezwa ngabantu abangaphezu koyedwa ngasikhathi noma ngabe bazi noma bengazi.

AmaNarcissist ahlela izimpilo zawo maqondana nalokhu kuphakelwa futhi imvamisa abanye abantu sebevele bakunikeza - noma kwepayipi - uma kwenzeka umthombo wabo oyinhloko wehluleka ngokungalindelekile, noma bakhathale “ngokuthengwa okudala.”

Ukufunda okubaluleke kakhulu kwe-narcissist (i-athikili iyaqhubeka ngezansi):

Isibopho Esihlukumezekile

IStockholm Syndrome uthola igama layo ekuphangeni ebhange eSweden ngo-1973. Abathunjwa abaningana ababebambe inkunzi bagcina sebevikela futhi / noma baba nobudlelwano nabathumbi babo. IStockholm Syndrome yenzeka lapho umuntu othunjiwe obambe iqhaza ekuthunjweni eba nobuhlobo obunamandla obungokomzwelo nomthumbi wakhe.

I-Trauma Bonding iyefana ne-Stockholm Syndrome. Izisulu zinemizwa ejulile futhi eqinile ngabakwa-narcissists abasebudlelwaneni nabo. AbakwaNarcissists kwesinye isikhathi baziphatha kahle izisulu kanti kwesinye isikhathi baziphatha kabi.

Umphumela wokubopha ukuhlukumezeka ebuchosheni besisulu kufana kakhulu nokuba umlutha womuthi. Baxhunywa umjikelezo kokuhle (injabulo) nokubi (okulimazayo):

  • Injabulo kwenzeka ngendlela, isibonelo, thanda amabhomu , ukuncoma, noma ubulili obuhle (obuveza i-oxytocin ebuchosheni babo, ebizwa nangokuthi i-hormone yenjabulo).
  • Kubuhlungu kwenzeka ngendlela yokuhlukumeza, ukubeka phansi, nokwenza ubuhlanya ukubala nje okumbalwa (konke lokhu kukhiqiza i-cortisol ebuchosheni besisulu i-hormone yokucindezela exwayisa ngengozi).

Lo mjikelezo wokubi, okuhle nokubi okungapheli,… yikho okwenza izisulu zibambeke ebudlelwaneni futhi kuyisizathu esiyinhloko sokuthi kungani kunzima kangaka ukuthi baphume kukho ngokuphelele. Kufanele bayeke ngokoqobo ukuhlukunyezwa njengokungathi yi-cocaine.

Ubudlelwano nama-narcissists bukhona ama-rollercoasters angokomzwelo ngemizwa enamandla kakhulu, kanye nedrama eningi nokungazinzi. Abantu abakhulele emindenini engasebenzi kahle enomzali okungenani oyedwa we-narcissistic babambe iqhaza kulolu hlobo lwamandla ngesikhathi sobuntwana. Bafunda ukuthi lolu kwakuwuthando. Ngakho-ke, lolo hlobo lobudlelwano yilokho abazobe bekufuna bengazi bengabantu abadala, bengazi ngokuhlukunyezwa. Ubudlelwano 'obujwayelekile' buvame ukubonakala bubo buhle futhi buhle.

Isisulu sikubeka njengokuthi “Sedlule ebunzimeni obukhulu ndawonye,” kanti empeleni umhlukumezi nguyena ofake isisulu kubo bonke ubuhlungu nezinsizi, ngaphandle kokuzisola nakancane ngokwenza lokho.

Unxantathu

Unxantathu unamandla anobuthi wokuxhumana okungaqondile nokuziphatha okubandakanya abantu abathathu. Izici eziyinhloko zonxantathu yilezi isenzo sokufihla, ukukhohlisa nokuhlukumeza. Kwenzeka lapho umuntu oyedwa ehlasela, ehlazisa, futhi / noma ehlukumeza omunye ngokusebenzisana komuntu wesithathu (azi noma engazi).

I- I-Karpman Drama Triangle , eyadalwa nguStephen Karpman ngo-1968 futhi isetshenziswa kakhulu kwi-psychology kanye ne-psychotherapy, ibalula ukuxhumana okulimazayo okwenzeka phakathi kwabantu abaphikisanayo. Inezinhlamvu ezintathu: Ohlukumezekile, uMshushisi, noMhlengi.

  • Isisulu : uzizwa ukuthi impilo noma abanye abantu babaphatha kabi, nokuthi abakufanele. Noma kunjalo, akukho abakwenzayo ukuzisusa kuleso simo.
  • Umshushisi : ukulandela abanye abantu ngokuqondile noma ngokungaqondile ukuze ubalimaze, ubafundise isifundo, noma ubajezise.
  • UMtakuli : ucabanga ukuthi abanye abantu (imvamisa umlingani wakhe) abakwazi ukusinda empilweni ngaphandle kwakhe. UMhlengi ucabanga ukuthi uma esindisa omunye umuntu, uyazisindisa yena uqobo.

Ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi unxantathu uhlala njalo. AmaNarcissist asebenzisa unxantathu njengendlela yokuqinisa amandla nokulawula.

Lona unxantathu ekhanda lomlobi wezobuciko: UnguMhlukumezi. Umlingani wakhe wamanje (ukunikezwa okudala kwe-narcissistic) nguMshushisi. Isithandwa sakhe (ukunikezwa okusha kwe-narcissistic) nguMhlengi.

Le yiReal Version: umbulali wezinsolo nguMshushisi. Uzakwethu wamanje (ukunikezwa okudala kwe-narcissistic) yi-Victim (futhi kaningi uMtakuli, naye). Isithandwa esisha kumane kungumhlanganyeli we-narcissist (noma ngabe uyakwazi lokhu noma cha).

Ukubukisa

Njengoba ama-narcissists engenawo umuntu wangaphakathi wangempela, wona gqoka izifihla-buso ukuze uthole ukuhlinzekwa kwe-narcissistic kubantu. Enye yezindlela abazisebenzisayo ukuheha abantu kuzo ukwenza izibuko. Imvamisa basebenzisa isibuko (okuyifulegi elikhulu elibomvu okufanele liqashelwe) nabangahle babe ngabalingani babo, benze sengathi bayimiphefumulo engamawele “umdlalo owenziwe ezulwini.”

Uma, ake sithi, isisulu esingahle sibe khona besilokhu sifuna ukuya ePeru, khona-ke lokho kungazelelwe kuba wuhambo lwamaphupho e-narcissist, nawo. Uma ecabanga ukubhalisela izifundo ze-swing, kwenzeka kanjani lokhu ngoba umbhali wezinambuzane naye ube nencazelo yokwenza lokho! Uma ethanda ama-movie amadala, umbhali wezinto zakudala uzoba neqoqo eligcwele endaweni yakhe.

ungasho kanjani ukuthi umfana ufuna ukulala nawe

Konke lokhu kungumbombayi futhi kukha phezulu umbhali wezinto ezingekho emthethweni uzozama nje ukulingana nomthethosivivinywa njengo 'mlingani ofanele' wesisulu ukuze abakhohlise babe nobuhlobo. Bahle kakhulu ekubukiseni isibuko ngoba bayakwazi ukusheshe babize imininingwane eminingi bese bedlala indima yokwenza isisulu sicabange ukuthi “Yiso lesi. Ngilutholile uthando lwempilo yami. ”

Ingabe le misho misha kuwe? Ngabe ziyasiza ukuchaza ezinye zezinto ebudlelwaneni obudlule (noma obukhona) empilweni yakho? Shiya amazwana ngezansi.